Soundtrack: Bop Bop Baby by Westlife

The only thing that you ever gave me, you give to somebody else...

14 Oct 2008

The Bottom Line

Disengage from people who exhibit childlike behavior. They will only slow you down.

In Detail
Trying to figure out what is motivating other people is a waste of your time, so if you have been wringing your hands over a mysterious situation, stop. If someone isn't going to tell you what you need to know, they aren't going to tell you --no matter how long you wait or how many hoops you jump through. Move on today, and disengage from such childlike behavior. They have been having too much fun stringing you along, and you're no puppet. Too bad for them.

Does everything have its ad nauseam?

ad nau·se·am (d nôz-m)

adv.

To a disgusting or ridiculous degree; to the point of nausea.

[Latin ad, to + nauseam, accusative of nausea, sickness.]

from TheFreeDictionary.com

[Look in Google]

No matter what we do, no matter what we have, no matter good or bad, we'll get sick of it at some point.
In friendship, we get bored with each other, that's why we stop talking to or contacting each other.
Even couples divorce cos they sick of each other. Maybe they don't admit it, maybe they don't even realize it, but that could be the fact.
(Don't even make me start writing about family...)
That's could also be the reason we take things for granted.

-:-

"Yes I am, but I'd like to keep it that way. Now, leave me alone!"

Soundtrack of the day: Fighter by Christina Aguilera

Thank you for not believing in me; you make me learn to believe in myself...

"After all you've put me through, you'd think I despise you.
But in the end, I wanna thank you.
Cos you make me damn much stronger."

cinta dan matematika (hrs ngitung soalnya)

Silahkan main jg klo mau...

[x]pengen ketemu dia
[ ]mikirin kalo lagi ga ngapa2in
[x]selalu mikirin dy meski ad kerjaan
[x]senyum2 sendiri kalo lg mikirin dy
[ ]deg2an kalo ngbayangin wajahnya
so far: 3

[x]pengen dy sms kamu duluan
[x]pengen sms dy
[x]pengen dy nyapa kamu
[x]pengen ngobrol sm dy
[x]kdg pgn b2an
so far: 8

[ ]salting di depan dy
[ ]deg2an kalo dy ad d dkt kmu
[x]caper
[x]mencari keberadaannya
[x]spontan liat ke arah dy terus
so far: 11

[ ]berusaha buat ngbikin dy seneng
[x]cemburu liat dy ama cewe/ cowo lain
[ ]kl dtanya syp yg dsuka lgsg kpikiran dy
[x]nungguin sms dy
[x]pgn ksi sesuatu buat dy
so far: 14

[x]pgn meluk dy
[ ]pgn dy blg cinta
[ ]pgn dy menunjukkan rs cintanya
[ ]perna ngbayangin dicium dy
[ ]pgn milikin dy
so far: 15

nah skrg hasilna dkali 4...
15 × 4 = 60%

yah... "cinta" 60% doang.. haha..

"mỗi khi bên bạn không có ai.... thì hãy nhìn lên bầu trời đầy sao hay ánh nắng........ có thể là ở 1 nơi xa kia cũng đang có 1 người chia sẻ với bạn......"

*Quoted from someone's profile

"each side when you do not have one . please look up the skies full of stars or the sun .
may be in one place far there is one to share with you"

Merah Putih

First of all, happy birthday to my godbrother. Another year, eh, bro? :D

Wish all years in you life would be beautiful -just as you've made my life beautiful :) And please, stay being your strong self I've always known. I know we can't always be around each other as much as we want to, but I hope we'll stay like how we used to -err close-but-not-so-close? *lol*

Next, just want to write down my shoutout in my friendster :p

"Tell me, when you're looking down upon me, are you proud of who I am?"

O2Camp the 2nd day...

My team ready to fight the other team :D
Spot me?

Felix and Inez, before we leave for Sentosa (O2 Camp 26-27 Sept)
Oh, aren't they just cute?! *lol*

About today

1. Hari ini lebih baik dari kemaren?

gak, khusus hari ini, kmaren jauh lbh baik :(

2. Terakhir pergi mana?

ke kamar mandi, huaha..

3. Pergi terakhir dgn sapa?

with someone special :D :D

4. Ngapain aja?

hari ini? ritual pagi hari, kuliah, plg tdr, main internet d.

5. Yang kamu pelajari akhir-akhir ini?

wah, banyak banget. pljrn hidup gak abis2 nih..

6. Kamu setia?

dlm persahabatan, ya. dlm hal lain, gak janji d, huehe..

7. Tapi kamu ada pacar?

enggak. berminat? ngambil formulirnya di kls ku, bsk yah. haha..

8. Sayang ga?

ih, gak nyambung d.

9. Hari ini senang-senang?

gak, sedih! kmaren senang2nya, hehe..

10. Minuman terakhir yang masuk perut?

coffee, hehe..

11. Apa kamu cemburuan?

bisa diblg begitu.

12. Hal terakhir yang dilihat?

layar laptop.

13. Hal terakhir yang kamu tahan2?

duit kluar dr dompet (ktawan d, pelitnya)

14. Lagi deket sama?

*is confidential*

15. Cita -cita terakhir jadi?

jurnalis :)

16. Hal membingungkan yang terakhir dilakukan?

ngomong ama temen *swt, cape d*

17. Testi terakhir dari?

lolcatz :D

18. Curhat terakhir dengan?

buku diary :)

19. Hal terakhir yang masih kamu inget?

banyak dong.. aq gak menderita short-term memory loh..

20. Jatuh cinta terakhir sama?

awh! Jared Leto. haha..gakla, rhs d.

21. Ada berapa orang yang ada di otak kamu sekarang? siapa?

4. tmn2 kuliah..

22. Terakhir sebel sama?

maaf, nama disamarkan utk melindungi yg berdosa. hehe

23. Film terakhir yang ditonton?

Mirrors. lumayan loh, filmnya

24. Berita terakhir yang didengar?

eh, keboongan ssorg terbongkar, abis2an

25. Kalau temen kamu ngambil gebetan kamu?

awas 22nya! haha..gakla. bodo amat, I have better things to do.

26. Tugas terakhir yang dikerjain?

akun. duh, mati dah test minggu dpn. aq plg gak bisa akun. ssorg tlglah diriku!

27. Sebutin 1 nama "teman" yang kamu sayang?

teman dgn tanda kutip? please, klo aq sebutin, nyawa ssorg jd terancam.

28. Rencana hari ini mau ngapain aja?

uda malem om, plg baca2 ssuatu dikit trus bo2.

29. SMS terakhir dari?

Richery, huaha...

30. Feeling lu?

cape, cape, cape ati.

31. Lagu kesukaan lu sekarang ini?

awh, butterfly cry by kerli koiv

32.lagi pake baju apa?

bj tidur warna kuning.

33. mau balikan sm mantan?

enggak, makasih. gak dnger? when it's gone, it's gone, honey.

34. binatang kesukaan?

uler. ups!

35. terakhir meluk siapa?

pa2h

36. orang yg lagi lu kangenin?

hm.. tmn2 high school. hiks, miss u so much, guys!

37. lagu terakhir yang lu nyanyikan?

sama, butterfly cry by kerli koiv :D

38. kalau ada yg nembak lu?

kaget "huh?"

39. paling malem tidur jam berapa?

wah, pernah 36 jam kagak tdr.

40. besok mao bangun jam berapa?

7.40 as always

Check out my Friendster horoscope for today:

"Make sure you are realistic about today -- you must balance your optimism with caution, and not believe everything you see right away. Be a little bit more skeptical and don't shy away from questioning authority. This is not a time to take anything for granted -- while you want to think the best of people, sometimes it's just not smart. There is too much duality in the air, and too many people who are just saying what they think you want to hear."

It's eerily correct. I have just thought about how everyone deserves a second chance. I've always believed that everyone can change (we obviously know that people DO change). But that thought only cause me to question my own intelligence. And perhaps also cause some people to question my loyalty.

Now, that's one of the things I learn from Alexander (the Great, honey). When we decide to trust someone, trust him/her completely. Let it be difficult for you to doubt someone you've trusted. Which is why it's difficult for me to trust anyone, but once I trust him/her, it'd take so much to quiver the trust. But how disappointing (I foolishly hope too much) that not many people share the same sentiment. They easily doubt their own close friends. They, who think too much. They, who always think of or make up some twisted imagination in their heads.

When it's gone, it's gone. Let it go :)

Wanted to go, but don't know why, I changed my mind on the last minute :)

"Laugh is the sweetest gift we can give --definitely also for ourselves."

Show me that you can change, and I'll show you I can change my mind, too...

"The SC is not only where my image is at stake, but my self-esteem as well.."
...
"Why do God let me have this feeling when it'll only ruin me? He know, you know, we all know, that I can't afford to get distracted. Not right now, not in the next 14 years."

DRAFT!

Soundtrack of the day: Butterfly Cry by Kerli

"Affair of the heart is the undoing of a hero.."

When I'm not, you are.
When I do, you don't.
You're here, but you're so far away.
Within range but unreachable.

I try to deny, but how is it supposed to work?
Even though I don't ever say it, I still feel it.

This feeling is like a butterfly.
So fragile yet so strong.
The urge is so strong I'm suffocated.
Yet it's so fragile I know it'll die soon.
It'll die before we're able to comprehend.
Even before we realize it ever existed.

How good will its life be if it doesn't have to feel guilty
when it does the things that brings happiness for it.

How should anyone understand?
The sadness of the butterfly.
Cos its existence just another one
In this universe.
Alone.
Ordinary.
In vain.

I hate you not because of who you are..
But because you're proud that you are.

Fragile - Kerli

You think you know me. And everything that you consider me. You think you know my name. You think you know me. And everything you get a chance to see. You think you know my face.
You think you know my face.
You think you see me. And everything that you consider me. You think I’m more than you. You think you see me. You like the way I’m strong and stand by you. But I am fragile too. I am fragile too.
Yeah, I will be fine. As the time goes by. It may hurt at nights.
But I will be fine. Yeah, I will be just fine.
They think they know me. And everything that they consider me.
They think I never cry. They are thinking
While they’re making up their twisted lies. She won't mind,
she's nice.
She is cold as ice.
You think you see me. And everything that you consider me.
You think I’m more than you. You think you see me.
You like the way I’m strong and stand by you.
But I am fragile too.I am fragile too.
Just like you.

Disappointment.
I thought I knew him close enough by now. But just like human, there's always a side of him that's come to my surprise --and taken me off guard.
And guess what, I got to know his friend: Fed Up.

But, ah, a letter come to me today. From an Echelon. And it just cheered me up because of its kind words. It's funny cos the one who always made my day is Echelon. While all the others are just non-believer who would care --or rather, don't have time to care about me. And the even funnier thing, those "others" are the ones who laugh at Echelon most of the time. What the...?

It doesn't matter, though. It has been said: not everybody will understand it, and that's okay. It's just for the people that do.

Long live Echelon! Provehito in Altum!

One day...

Love always come hand in hand with sorrow --no, not only hand in hand, they're Siamese twin: you can't separate them. Even through operation, it'll be dangerous.
Is it worth it to let both come into our dwellings? Will there be enough space for both?

It's no longer pieces now, it's already dust...

-:-

Stand up not just for what you believe in, but also for who you are..

-:-

Let's not tell.. (7Sept)

Soundtrack of the day: Fallen by 30 Seconds to Mars

*Sigh* May I emphasize the lyric?

"All the pretty people die. Innocence is out of style...
Now there nothing left for me.."

Have you ever hurt so bad it feels so good?

"...he cuts me and the pain is all I wanna feel.."
misquote from BSB Helpless When She Smiles

My godbrother once said, "PAIN is the greatest pleasure in life." I didn't agree and didn't understand then. But I do understand now (even though I'm still not entirely agree).

Sometimes, in a weird unexplainable way, I am (and I believe most of other people are) drawn to pain. And it does bring us some pleasure --or in this case, bring me.
I know pain enable human to survive. But I thought only because it sharpens our survival instinct, so we learn to avoid it. But I've learned a different case now.

Some people find comfort in pain.
Some in physical form: cutting and slashing.
Some in non-physical form: reminding themselves of hurtful things.

Yes, mine is the second case. And yeah, I know. Somebody here needs bad help from a shrink...

I just hate it when people say, "you don't know how I feel."
Of course I wouldn't know exactly how they feel, but to accuse that I never feel any pain in my life would be very judgmental. Oh I have my shares of pain...

Being called a whore by my own father? Been there.
Being suicidal and almost end my life? Done that.
Sent application in all college there is and accepted into none? Gosh, old story.
Chase out from my house by my brother? Passed that.
There was even times when I have no one to confide in, cos nobody cares. And even my best friends said I'm delusional and my mother called me attention-seeker.

But those are long forgotten stories, I don't even remember it as a memory but merely as stories I've read somewhere. And as Nietzsche long ago had said: What doesn't kill you make you stronger.

So somehow I survive.

There will always be times when you'll find yourself standing in the middle of crossroad; where you have to choose: to the left to suicide, or to the right to a better stronger person.
In my case, I'm too coward to choose left. So I only left with one option no matter I like it or not.

There will always be prices to pay, of course. I pay it with my ability to feel; so I can no longer feel a thing. Or in other words, I'm heartless.

You'd think I said all that because I'm living on bed of roses this moment. But you're so wrong. I'm living hell right now, surrounded by devils themselves. However, to misquote Winston Churchill: "If you're going through hell, keep going...till you reach the way out."

That's what I'm doing now, hopefully I'll make it out alive.
Oh, whatever. I'm so done whining about myself.

"I've been through that." , "Everybody's gone through that stage." don't make it easier to go through...

-:-

Should I fall down, I'll drag somebody with me.

-:-

Money is scary. Or is it the person that is?

-:-

Theory: Unsuccessful people have no family behind them to support them morally.

-:-

Life is just a container, a medium; we decide what's inside it.

Tomo's tattoo

Per Aspera Et Astra - Through hardships to the stars.

Serba salah

When I'm quiet, they say I don't want to share stories.
When I talk, they say I keep talking about myself.

Ketika aku diam, dibilangnya aku tidak mau berbagi
Ketika aku berbicara, dibilangnya aku hanya berbicara tentang diri sendiri

What you want is not always what you get....

...thank God for that!

[Or in other words, like the old sayings said: Be careful of what you wish for]

Yes, we should be thankful that we didn’t get everything we want. Cos more often than not, we don’t know what’s good for us and what’s totally going to ruin us.
Yesterday I’m doing my part time job as a waitress. I went there -except for the bucks, of course- hoping to learn humility… and it’s exactly what’s given to me. The event was a very high-class one; I didn’t realize it until I get into the room.
On every single table, there are few spoons and few forks and few knives for a single guest. Oh, and few glasses. And everything is placed in such a way, it's all so neat.

Before we started, we were briefed. And the owner of the restaurant kept reminding us, “All the guests here are VIPs. And the exhibition today is to sell jewelries worth a quarter to half million dollars. These people are rich and high-class people, so you must must must respectable towards them.” Half million dollars.. Okay, got that.

Then there's the chef! He’s actually kinda cute -seems like mixed blood of Chinese and French- but he was so smug. He’s a bit pissed off that we didn’t know the name of the dishes.
He mentioned and explained every single name of the dishes, and in the end, he asked us, “Do you understand?” And some of us were nodding. Then he said, “So what’s ((insert a French food name here))?” We all went quiet. He went on, “And you said you understand?!” I thought, oh my God, spare us. I didn’t even ever eat any French food. The only thing I know is caviar (and I only knew it from Titanic. Wait, is that French food?) and I still don’t know what exactly caviar is made of. Would he want to treat me to some French food, so that I’ll remember some names?

Oh, I also remember he said something like, “We’ll be serving canapés.” I didn’t catch it, and I thought, “Canabis?! We’re serving cannabis?!”
Yeah, that’s how silly I was.

And another thing that added to my mental weariness, I met an old friend there. All of the sudden, out of nowhere. Gosh, Singapore sure is small! (Or should I say the world is?) She was my friend back from my elementary school. The thing is, she is the best friend of my nemesis.
By the time she caught a glance of me, her reaction was, “Kok kamu bisa di Singapore?” [“How did you get to Singapore?!”] In Indonesian language (along with the tone of her voice) it’s not the question of HOW did I end up in Singapore, but it’s a question of how did I able to come here. I was like, What? Am I not allowed being here? But my answer was only, “Yes, I’m studying here,” plus a smile that I hope will cover my annoyance.

Probably you think it’s so childish of me being annoyed over such thing. But you have no idea the background between me and her and everyone around us.
What’s more, she kept repeating how-did-you-get-here question every three minutes until our leader separated us and forbade us to talk to each other.

But anyway, all in all, it was a fun and exciting evening. And I went home an hour after midnight, with a higher level of humility, and $56 richer.

I received a newsletter from the official 30 Seconds to Mars' site today (you see, as a devoted fan, it's a must that I'm listed in their newsletter). The announcement was that they're selling this yearbook, and if you pre-order it, you'll get to published yourself in the book. Guess how much the book is?

US$60!! What an exaction!

Anyway, speaking of 30 Seconds to Mars, it reminds me of Jared's coming to Genting. I decided not to go, as much as I want to see him. What's the point? I'll be seeing him there, but he wouldn't even notice me. I see him, he doesn't see me: I can always do that via YouTube.

I'll just wait till I've become a reporter and go interview him. Then I'll get to talk to him face to face, mwhahaha...
For the time being, I better spend my time (on 2nd of August, I mean) go working. Then I'll get some $$$$ *lol*

"I used to think that he's a great man --guess what, I still do"
vk

Soundtrack of the day: White Flag by Dido (in a happy context, please)

Listen to this, this is my horoscope of the day from Friendster:

You're never more happy than when you're needed -- you should be very happy, today!

It's always surprising how the horoscope can SOMETIMES really point out what's going to happen to day. Well, of course, the rest of this horoscope is not as precise as it should be. The later explanation of why I should be happy is completely wrong.. But anyway, what I'm trying to say is, YES, I AM SO VERY HAPPY TODAY! I've told you that these are happiest days in my life, but today, I have particular reasons to be happy; I'm not going to elaborate on them, though :p

Anyway, move on to another topic: After much reminiscing (and few cups of coffee) in the last 25 hours, I've come up with the "insanest" theory:
The problem in this Life is not about it's being fair or unfair, but rather, the problem is us being jealous. Yes, jealousy.When you think that your friend get higher mark than you, and you deserve whole lot better than you get, you think that life is unfair. Well, probably you're just jealous.
When the cute guy over there is paying more attention to the annoying b!#ch across than nice sweety girl over here. And you think life is unfair. Well, guess what, it's probably just jealousy.

Don't you agree?

It's not a bad thing, though.
I've come to believe that jealousy is there to balance our ego, so that we always remember that we're not that great, that there are many other people better, nicer, richer, prettier, etc, than you are.
We can also use it for a better purpose. Ambitious as it may sound, we can use jealousy (with hatred, if you must) as a driving force to reach something you want. Believe me, it works so well..

Now is an excellent time to take stock of where you are -- and where you want to go in one of your personal relationships. Things have been complicated lately, and they need to be addressed. So seek the quieter path right now and give yourself time to replay the events of the past few days in your head. If you are feeling introspective and moody, just go with it -- it's the perfect frame of mind for figuring out what this person really means to you.

Yesterday, I went to National Library with a close friend of mine. I knew right from the start that it's a mistake, because we'll talk a lot and a library isn't a right place to to it. Correct enough, by the time we have seated, we started to giggling away at some pictures in my laptop. My bad (or rather, OUR bad), I have to admit...
And so, a man beside us got so annoyed he scolded us, "Diamlah! Nanti kuhajar kalian!" Yes, he said it in Malay (which surprised me double) which mean, "Shut up! Or I'll beat you up!". I was so startled I only nod my head.

Well, we quickly run away afterwards (move to other place to continue our giggles, that is)

When I was in the bus heading home few hours later, I look around me and all I see was tired faces and short-tempered people (I say so because people who were getting into the bus are pushing each other with annoyed faces and, of course, nobody has even the slightliest smile on his/her face). And I was reminded of the angry man at the library I met earlier; so my mind started to run wild: Is this world so lack of patience these days? Do we really so desperately need more love in this life?
I mean, like the man in the library, he could just tell us to be quiet and we'll understand. Is there any need to be enraged and "beat us up"? (I find his words pretty amusing, actually, but I totally dared not to laugh). But, oh well, what do I know? He probably had a real bad day...

I've heard quote certain people unquote said, "It's always troublesome when it comes to connecting with people." I cannot emphasize enough how disagree I am with this statement.

Of course it can be very challenging to have contact with many different people in this surprising world, but quoting Jared Leto (the inspiring Jared Leto *lol*): "I’ve had my share of intense experiences with people, but I’m not about to start living my life in a box."

It is true, don't you agree? The more angry people we meet in our everyday life, the more we need to go out there and share the rare love this world need. And perhaps also some extra laughter. To see it in different perspective, it can be an exciting challenge that make our life less dull.

Right, soundtrack of the day is Stupid Girls by Pink.

It's just hanging around my head since yesterday. I try not to think about it, cos it's like an old injustice since the ancient time (well, not really, perhaps only since the created the term "celebrity"), but it keeps lingering around:

It's the topic of "The Popular Girls"

Uh-huh. So we all know that they're the ones who always get the attention. Not only by the guys, but also by the teachers, and everyone in between. Have you seen the movie 'Mean Girls'? It's pretty much like that. I don't even want to talk about it cos it's such a common knowledge it gets sickening.

But one other thing that bothers me ugly is, they hate studying. They didn't exactly come to school for studying. I can't say for sure that they like knowledge or education, either. But with less effort, they get the pretty much the same result as other people --as other diligent people.

And so, the most glorious question of all time emerges: WHY?

So, we also know that this life is unfair, right? That we -or, I- should just get over with it and face facts, right? But, I can't! It's just....

Why? WHY? WHY?!

I began to have doubts about the Academy I study in [may God forgive my poor soul]. Perhaps I should have went to a school where all the students are geeks, and there's no so-called popular anybody. But oh well, I'm here anyway. God put me here for a reason (right?). Might as well carry on till the last drop of blood.

Stupid girls

Stupid girl, stupid girls, stupid girls
Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back
What a paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl
Go to Fred Segal, you'll find them there
Laughing loud so all the little people stare
Looking for a daddy to pay for the champagne (Drop a name)
What happened to the dreams of a girl president
She's dancing in the video next to 50 Cent
They travel in packs of two or three
With their itsy bitsy doggies and their teeny-weeny tees
Where, oh where, have the smart people gone? Oh where, oh where could they be?
Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back
What a paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl
Baby if I act like that, flipping my blond hair back
Push up my bra like that, I don't wanna be a stupid girl
(Break it down now)
Disease's growing, it's epidemic. I'm scared that there ain't a cure
The world believes it and I'm going crazy. I cannot take any more
I'm so glad that I'll never fit in - That will never be me
Outcasts and girls with ambition. That's what I wanna see
Disasters all around. World despaired
Their only concern: "Will they **** up my hair?"
[Interlude]
Oh my god you guys, I totally had more than 300 calories
That was so not sexy, no. Good one, can I borrow that?
[Vomits] I WILL BE SKINNY
(Do ya thing, do ya thing, do ya thing)
(I like this, like this, like this)
Pretty will you **** me girl, silly as a lucky girl
Pull my head and suck it girl, stupid girl!
Baby if I act like that, flipping my blond hair back
Push up my bra like that, stupid girl!

I cannot believe Jared didn't win! *is throwing tantrums* And harder to believe, he didn't win from Frank Iero!

>Official PETA news<

But *ahem* anyway, enough about Jared Leto, let's talk about ME :D

Well, I had a speaking test today. And, I really hate it to talk so long (five minutes, actually) in front of so many people. But, my, aren't I surprise that it all went well :)
Of course, NOT astonishing or anything. But I didn't toss my notes or stumble on my way to the front, that's good enough.
Anyway, there's another notable thing that happened today. I accidentally saw this video about "Oprah's church" on YouTube:

May I note first, I really don't like the title using the word "exposed." Feels like it was accusing the New Earth belief as some kind of crime or something.
It is a shocking new lesson, of course, but it is bad enough to claim that "We are the only truth." Moreover to say that "We are the only truth, and you are all wrong."
I just want to comment something about what Oprah had said starting around 4:10 : Why don't we put it this way, that God is so love us, that He jealous? Like, if you love someone so much, no matter how open-minded you are, at some point, you WILL jealous if s/he started to like someone else. Right? Don't you dare to say no.

And, in 4:28... Oprah, God is not jealous OF you. God is jealous BECAUSE OF you.
Well, of course, I'm not in the position to correct her. My first language isn't English, and I'm not the one who's been hosting a talk show for the last 23 years (geez, I haven't even born by the time she started the show).
5:20 How can you learn from a so-called teacher who doesn't even know where he's going when he's dead? And very curious that the video is cut out to another scene before he finish his answer....
5:34 How can you feel when you don't believe?
Okay, this one is a bit more personal. In minutes 4:45, Oprah said "...the search of something more than doctrine."
It always take me by surprise how everyone outside Christianity (sometimes even turned-Christians) say to me, "How can you worship a God which is indoctrinated to you since childhood?" Well, if you said that to me when I was 10, I probably speechless. But, hello?! I'm more than 2 decades of age right now, don't you think I have questioned God myself? Don't you think I've searched of "the other answers/ways" myself?
Well, I have. And I have yet to find a better truer God than Jesus Christ.

But anyway, all in all, I can only agree with the narrator:
Christians! It's time to open your eyes, shut down your TV, and pray!

rantRANT!

Soundtrack of the day: Phase 1 Fortification by 30 Seconds to Mars.

Only in God do I find my strength. How true, David.
You can search through and through, nowhere else will you find a shelter. Thank God, I found You.
Here I am today, on the peak of the happiest days in my life. And I’ve learnt not to dismiss such feelings like these. I need to memorize it, conserve it, for strength in darker days.
But still, my happiest days are tainted. Not only by small patches of annoying things (we all have those), but by spits of some madmen. As always, like so many times before; it amazes me why I never get used to it. Will I ever get used to it?

Selfish. Can someone please define that word for me? Better yet, give me few examples?
Selfish. It’s an adjective isn’t it? Like angry? So everyone has it and does it, right? Selfishness, like anger? Only in different measures? So why point your finger at other people when you still do the same thing? Geez, buy a mirror. Or talk a walk at the mall, there are many reflective surfaces in there.
We have our own weaknesses, our own weak moments. Why can’t we live friendlier to each other? Loosen the rules, who cares anyway?! Loosen the rules, or we all are going to die suffocated!

“All of your life, trying to be… You are the one who cannot see..”

God, this is confusing! I’m having headache..

May I write my Christmas wish earlier?

Guess what! MTV Asia Award is going to be held in Genting, Malaysia this year. The exact date of the event is on August 2nd.
Buutt.. That is not the big news. The big news is.... *takes a deep breath* guess who's going to host it?

JARED LETO! Yes, Jared Leto as the lead singer of 30 Seconds to Mars, Jared Leto as Jared who played in Lord of War and Alexander!

> See the news here! <

OH. MY. GOD! *shudder* I really want to go.
But it won't be fun if I go alone. I have to look for friend(s) who live in Singapore and/or Malaysia AND is/are 30 Seconds to Mars' fan(s).
Or, if the circumstance is depressing, I have to force at least one of my friends to be 30 Seconds to Mars' fan and force him/her accompany me to the Awards... *lol*

Oh, wow, I never notice before, I barely found out that there are quiet a few fans of 30 Seconds to Mars right here, in Blogger.

There's EchelonMoonShadow, MilkKody.

₪ Ø lll 'o.

Movies are vivid dreams....

This song's my sorry

Notice me, take my hand. Why are we strangers when our love was strong? Why carry on Without me?

Everytime I try to fly, I fall. Without my wings I feel so small. I guess I need you baby. And everytime I see you in my dreams, I see your face. It's haunting me. I guess I need you baby.

I make believe that you are here. It's the only way I see clear. What have I done? You seem to move on easy.

I may have made it rain. Please forgive me. My weakness caused you pain. And this song's my sorry.
At night I pray, that soon your face will fade away.

Tomo left alone!

The interviewer looked a bit worry (or is it depressed? *lol*) because of Jared. Was he going to toilet or something? I think he was...in a dramatic way.

About Alexander

Okay, okay, I know you're getting sick of it, but I just have to write this.
More reasons why I respect and admire Alexander the Great so much:

I always believe that human personality is defined more by nurture than nature. I find it true in most people I observe. But in Alexander, it's completely unproved.
Philip, Alexander's father always underestimated and criticized him. Like in Bucephalus' case. In this modern time where I live, children who are underestimated by their parents grow up to be either shy or having inferiority complex, or both. Very few grow up to be confident adults. However, we all know (well, at least we all who read about Alexander) that Alexander had this undeniable exceptional confidence.
It seems that no matter what's being taught and doctrined to him, Alexander had his own thoughts and opinions and principles. And he lived by these beliefs of his own, diminishing whatever other people might have told him.

Aristotle was and is still known for his little respect for women. Aristotle thought that women are "unfinished men". Being the teacher of Alexander, of course that was exactly what he taught to Alexander and his other disciples in Mieza. But somehow, Alexander grew up to be a man who had special respect for women. Very interesting, especially because in Alexander era, women are believed to be as low as the slaves.
And, wasn't he cute? [see picture] Ck, I wouldn't mind being Alexander's concubine *lol*
Links: Oliver Stone's Alexander: Director's Cut >2

I got a bulletin from my friend in Friendster yesterday, about how we can cheat on XL prepaid card top-up. I wonder if it's true.. (I don't use XL. Perhaps those who do use XL can tell me if this is really works?)

"Cara menjebol pulsa xl
buat kalian yang memakai XL bebas dan

ingin menambah pulsa.....saya ada cara

yang sangat aneh tapi nyata........

Ketik : kosongkan kolom message /

tidak perlu menulis kata sama sekali

Kirim ke : 087880587175

Have a nice chat... ampe dower.....

hehehehe"

MyBabyTrees.org

Guys, take a look here: http://id.mybabytree.org/

Here, you can help save forests in Borneo (Kalimantan), Indonesia. Only by paying US$5.50 (atau Rp. 45.000,- buat orang Indonesia), you can buy a tree and watch it grows!

You will be sent a proof through Google Earth by the volunteers of the program.

The cost you pay is for the seed,land, nursery, maintenance, protection and final transplantation.

Better still, you can carve your name (or the name of your loved one) on the tree trunk!

What are you waiting for?! Go and check out the site!

Many things that children can't do is not because they don't learn, but because they're not taught to.

I was just thinking about the 4 personality types, and wonder what their answers might be if they're asked what life is.
It could turn out to be like this:

Choleric:
I don't care. I've said it and I'd say it again, life is black and white.

Phlegmatic:
Let's not differentiate lives...

Melancholic:
Life is not just black and white. It's not just what is and what's not. There are many probabilities. There are many shades of gray..

Sanguine:
Life is not black and white, it's colorful!