~Audi alteram partem~

You know your part of the story. Now hear the other side.
Cos everyone just want to be heard
.

Showing posts with label On love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label On love. Show all posts

"What if"

Some people say, the saddest phrase in this life is "what if".
What if we didn't take that chance?
What if we did take that chance but it turns out bad?
What if we loved, but lost?
What if we never loved?

Ragnar & Lagertha true love
From: We_Are_Ragnar
We'll never know. Nobody can know.

Hephaistion said: Greatness comes to those who take and never regret.
To be great, or simply to have what we want, we must be willing to lose something.
But Alexander replied: All greatness comes from loss.
In this life, it's all a mere balance of getting and letting go.

So take that chance. 
Lose that love.      Love that lost.
It's ok to lose something.
It's ok to regret something.
But don't hold on to it.
"Don't waste your time looking back.
You're not going that way."

Love's red flag

More wise words from Matthew Hussey.
Do not fall in love with a fantasy. 
People can change, but only if they want to.

Matthew Hussey

Heart vs Head

"Love with your heart. Use your head for everything else."
- Alan Melikdjanian

Values

Remember some time ago I had a question: When two persons you respect are disrespecting each other, do you stop respecting either one?

I finally found a concrete answer, which is a resounding YES.

It might not be too clearly black and white. It might not happen immediately. But you will lose your respect for one of them eventually. I found this answer, unfortunately, through personal experiences. I realised, this tendency to lean towards one side is because of our values. Or more precisely, the conflicting of those values.

What are values? No, not the monetary worth of something. I'm talking about the other kind of values:
The principles or standards of behaviour; one's judgement of what is important in life.

Everyone has values. Positive or negative, everyone has their own view of what they hold as important, that they use as the cornerstone of their lives.

For the positive examples, some people value honesty, or honour. So in everything they do, they will try to be honest, or honourable, even though they might get into trouble (Ned Stark, anyone?).
For the negative examples, it could be materialism, the value that put things as more than human beings.

When you respect someone, I find, it's because you have similar values. If you're an honest person, you'll only respect honest people, whether you realise this or not.
So if the 2 people you respect, are disrespecting each other, most probably there's a contradiction of values there. But as we know from a wise man, contradiction cannot exist in one place, so you'll drop one of them in the end.
“Contradictions do not exist. Whenever you think that you are facing a contradiction, check your premises. You will find that one of them is wrong.”
- Francisco d’Anconia

I find this true in love as well.

We might fall in love because of various reasons. But we stay in love when we share the same values. When a couple in a relationship don't share the same values, you'll see that the relationship will fall apart faster than you can say "Francisco d'Anconia".

A dot in time

Six years.
People always ask how we can stay together for so long. I don't know. Everything we are say that we won't last. He's a Cancer, I'm a Sagittarius. Water and fire. I'm a Rabbit, he's a Snake. Food and predator. He's a realist, I'm a dreamer. But differences works both ways: Destroying each other, or complementing each other.


Two-thousand one-hundred ninety-two days.
Some say it's a really long time. It's really not compared to eternity. But it's enough time to learn and understand a thing or two.

Well, here's three I learned so far:

Silence is good 

Silence can be useful for many things. Many people find silence awkward, that we have to keep filling it. But you know what? It's ok not to talk to each other. Imagine the moment when you just sit there in his embrace. Not talking about anything, just enjoying the moment.
Silence can save you so many heartaches. When you're fighting, hold your tongue. Don't say mean things. Don't say the thing you'll regret later. And don't talk about it with just anyone. Cos the problem will pass, but other people's memory remains and that memory might just come back and bite you from behind.

Small things matter more 

Someone asked me: What's the most romantic thing your bf ever done to you?
I had difficulties answering it. Not because he's never done anything romantic, but because I have different ideas on what's romantic. And it's difficult to make people understand that.

Romance is not about buying gifts. It's easy to go out there and to buy something. Romance it's not about big earth-shattering gesture. Having a flash mob dancing to my favorite song is not really my thing.

Romance it's about what he does for you, not to you.

It's not when he posts in Facebook -or any social media- how much he loves you. It's when he cleans the room when he doesn't feel like it, just because he knows it'll make you happy. It's not when he vouches he'll die for you. It's when he takes a deep breath and listen when all he wants to do is to scream. It's when he learns to love your bizarre quirks even when they drive him crazy.

Love doesn't fade, it just changes

Most women in bitterness like to say, "He changed." "He doesn't love me anymore." "Because I'm not slim/beautiful/cute anymore."
Well, I have bad news for you for cases like this. Nothing's changed. He just never truly loved you in the first place.

A man who loves you, loves you no matter what. That's what love is. He wants you to be happy. Period. No excuses.
Most importantly, he will always treat you with respect; it's something that will never and shouldn't change. If he doesn't treat you as good anymore, it doesn't mean he doesn't love you anymore. It just means he never loved you to begin with.

Love will change, though. At least, that's how it is from my observation. And it's good.
In the early stage, it's all about pounding hearts, sweaty palms, butterfly in your stomach. But as love grows, it's more about steady hands and firm steps. Like a sunshine on a calm day is May. Instead of make your heart beats faster, seeing the person you love will give you peace, no matter what's happened in that day,

There you go, some of the things I learn in 6 years, and still learning.
Nobody knows where the journey ends. But while we're at it, we'll take it in our strides and enjoy the sceneries along the way.

White-veiled occasion

Just watched the movie Ceremony (with Lee Pace, ya'll). It's a shitty movie, but I can't get it off my mind. No, not because of Lee Pace (although I can't keep my mind off him too).

And as usual, when I keep thinking about something, I write it down to transfer the thoughts from my mind to the wide world of web. I wanted to insert a spoiler alert here, but there's nothing much to spoil when the movie is as predictable as Michael Bay's next explosion.

The movie is the predictable boy meets girl, girl meets a man, and decides to marry him instead. Then the boy come to the wedding in the hope to change her mind. What's different in this movie is that, the girl stands by her decision.

Her ex-bf asks her, "Why?" Why does she choose a guy who doesn't like what she likes, who doesn't appreciate her passion? She simply answers, "Because he loves me." Long movie story short, it's true that the groom doesn't share her hobbies, but he loves her enough to forgive her pasts and, to certain points, her lies. He might not love her the way the ex-bf loved her, but who's to say he doesn't love her enough?

Not so much of a plot twist, but it's a new lesson.

Sometimes, we care too much about someone that we think we know what's best for them. This is especially true for parents. In my case it's my friends. They might not realize it (which is a good thing) I care/worry too much about them that I like to suggest them the things I think will be good for them.

Now I understand. I can't take care of everybody, and sure as hell shouldn't. Sure, we can make suggestions, but in the end of the day, they are the ones who live their lives. And hopefully, they are mature enough to make their own decisions, and know what's best for them.


But, if you still think that one of your friend or two shouldn't make the decision s/he has made, here's a Taylor Swift's song to get an idea on how to crash a wedding:

Doctor Love

The quest of understanding women has been going on forever after. But it still surprise me to find out about Doc Love, who apparently has a whole talk show and website dedicated to teach men 'womanese'. He's selling a book at $99 on The System of the Venus and even coined the term 'women's interest levels' in relationships.

I read a few of his articles in askmen.com and I think the man knows what he's talking about. Mostly, though, I'm more touched knowing men spend so much effort and money to understand women.

But here's a real advice by the mallard duck, that I agree on:
Understanding women

I understand myself and know the games I play and I hate myself sometimes. But let's not go there. I just want to say that when it's about making your female counterpart happy, it's really not that complicated.

Simple (and free) ways to be a perfect boyfriend:

  1. Hold her hands, especially when crossing the road.
    Really, you're going to leave her on the other side of the road when the cars start speeding by?
  2. Offer to pay.
    It's tapping on the ancient note that guys provide. Most nice girls will still insist on splitting the bills, but even if she doesn't, so what? It's a cheap price to pay for her love, no?
  3. Tell her jokes.
    It subconsciously means 2 things: You want her to laugh, to be happy; and that she's special in your eyes cos you tell the joke to her, not anyone else.
  4. Always, always let her walk in front of you.
    It's being respectful and protective at the same time. All the wins for you.
  5. Compliment her at random times.
  6. This works both ways. You'd love it too when your gf compliment you, right? So give her that happiness. God forbids somebody says the compliment first at obvious time, like when she wears a beautiful dress or shoes.
If all else fail, just buy her expensive gifts. It does the trick most of the time.

Sure, Doc Love is not really about making your girlfriend happy, but also about getting the girl you want to notice you. Maybe it's slightly more complicated. I'll need to read The System first before I can comment further. Meanwhile, enjoy this favourite joke of mine (be sure to tell it to your gf!):

Genie's Highway
A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled upon an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said "OK. OK. You released me from the lamp, blah, blah, blah. This is the 4th time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You get one wish!"
The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?"
The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible! Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete...how much steel!! No, think of another wish!"
The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women...know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment...know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say 'nothing'...know how to make them truly happy..."
There was a silence. And then the genie said, "You want that bridge with two lanes or four?"

Jay Chou - Shan Hu Hai

Jay Chou - Shan Hu Hai Lyric and English Translation (from his album November's Chopin).


珊瑚海 - 周杰倫 ft. 梁心頤

Shan Hu Hai - Chou Jie Lun ft. Liang Xinyi
Jay
海平面远方开始阴霾
Hai ping mian yuan fang kai shi yin mai
Clouds gather on the faraway (sea) horizon
悲伤要怎么平静纯白
Bei shang yao zen me ping jing chun bai
How can I keep my sadness calm
我的脸上, 始终夹带
Wo de lian shang, shi zhong jia dai
On my face, still holding
一抹浅浅的无奈
Yi mo qian qian de wu nai
A bit of shallow helplessness

Lara
你用唇语说你要离开 (情不在)
Ni yong chun yu shuo ni yao li kai (xin bu zai)
You silently said that you wanted to leave (The love's gone)
那难过无声慢了下来
Na nan guo wu sheng man le xia lai
The sadness slowed down silently
汹涌潮水, 你听明白
Xiong yong chao shui, ni ting ming bai
Listen carefully to the crashing tides,
不是浪而是泪海
Bu shi lang er shi lei hai
It is not from the sea but from tears

Together
转身离开
*Zhuan shen li kai
Turning around to leave
(你有话说不出来) 分手说不出来
(Ni you hua shuo bu chu lai) Fen shou shuo bu chu lai
(You have something to say but remained speechless) Unable to say it's over
海鸟跟鱼相爱 只是一场意外
Hai niao gen yu xiang ai zhi shi yi chang yi wai
The love between a seagull and a fish is only an accidental occurrence
我们的爱 (给的爱)差异一直存在 (回不来)
Wo men de ai (gei de ai), chai yi yi zhi cun zai (hui bu lai)
Differences had always existed in (the love you gave) our love (we can't go back)
风中尘埃(等待) 竟累积成伤害
Feng zhong chen ai (deng dai), Jing lei ji cheng shang hai
The dust that gathers in the wind (ends up) accumulating to pain
转身离开
**Zhuan shen li kai
Turning around and leave
(分手说不出来) 分手说不出来
(Fen shou shuo bu chu lai) Fen shou shuo bu chu lai
(can't say it's over) Unable to say it's over
蔚蓝的珊瑚海 错过瞬间苍白
Wei lan de shan hu hai, cuo guo shun jian cang bai
An azure coral sea, a missed momentary paleness
当初彼此(你我都)
Dang chu bi ci (ni wo dou)
Right from the beginning (you and me both)
不够成熟坦白(不应该)
Bu gou cheng shu tan bai (bu ying gai)
Were not mature and frank enough (shouldn't have)
热情不改
Re qing bu zai
The passion had not changed
(你的) 笑容勉强不来
(Ni de) Xiao rong mian qiang bu lai
(Your) Smile cannot be forced
爱深埋珊瑚海
Ai shen mai shan hu hai
Love is buried deep within the coral sea

Jay
毁坏的沙碉如何重来
Hui huai de sha diao ru he zhong lai
How do (we) rebuild the damaged sand sculpture?
有裂痕的爱怎么重盖
You lie hen de ai zen me zhong gai
How can (we) fix a broken relationship?
只是一切, 结束太快
Zhi shi yi qie, Jie shu tai kuai
Only that all has ended too quickly
你说你无法释怀
Ni shuo ni wu fa shi huai
You said you could not understand why

Lara
贝壳里隐藏着什么期待 (等花儿开)
Bei ke li yin cang shen me qi dai (deng hua er kai)
What surprises await in a seashell (Waiting for the flowers to bloom)
我们也已经无心再猜
Wo men ye yi jing wu xin zai cai
We do not want to play the guessing game anymore
面向海风 (面向海风)
Mian xiang hai feng (mian xiang hai feng)
The sea breeze caressing the face (the sea breeze caressing the face)
咸咸的爱 (咸咸的爱)
Xian xian de ai (xian xian de ai)
The salty love (the salty love)
尝不出还有未来
Chang bu chu hai you wei lai
Unable to feel any future (between us)
Repeat Together

Shan Hu Hai Scores and Sheets

Did you know?


  • The song is released in 2005.
  • It was written by Vincent Fang, a lyricist who wrote most of Jay Chou's songs.
  • Vincent Fang starred in the video clip (as the guy who got cheated on by the girl).
It's not a dream when you are not ready to die for it.
It's so sad that most girls these days think engagement is only about a diamond ring.

谢谢你的告别

可以带给我这黱多感觉

Thank you for your farewell..


Jedi's birthday gift

Look what I got my bf for his birthday!
Well, I'm kinda broke, so I can't get him fancy gifts and so I've go to get creative.
He absolutely loves Star Wars, so I have my choices narrowed down. Now if only I can think of a theme..
Should I go for Jedi or to the dark side?

I had an empty box put together with some printed materials, rope twine, and ribbons.
Jedi birthday box

Print a card in weird shape. In this case, a lightsaber.
Jedi birthday card (lightsaber)
Jedi birthday card
"The highest reward for a man's toil is not what he gets for it,
but what he becomes by it." Somewhat sounds like Yoda.
I bought a "Jedi Path" book for some $20, designed and printed a "Jedi Starter Kit" booklet and, tadaaa.. This is what I get: a box of Jedi Manual, complete with Jedi braid I made from my own hair XD
Jedi starter kit
Jedi braid

My bf was absolutely ecstatic when he got the gift. Great gifts don't always mean they're expensive. Like any other great things, it just needs to be something you put your thoughts into.
I've proven it. Now, your turn.

Fix it when it's broken

Fix it when it's broken

9Gag can teach you some very good lessons sometimes..

Expectation vs Reality

A girl who has never eaten a lobster in her life...

...expectation:
Girl: I want to eat lobster :(
Boyfriend: *secretly plan a romantic date by the sea with lobster in the menu, and not forgetting the rose petals shower*


...reality:
Girl: I want to eat lobster :(
Boyfriend: Yeah, me too.


Moral of the day:
Don't look for a rich boyfriend, but look for a boyfriend who's willing to spend for you.
Don't look for a boyfriend that can play music instrument, but one who would want to play for you.
Don't look for someone who merely loves you, but one who's willing to show it.
And once again, the Bible is right, don't look for someone who is able to, but for one who is willing to do so.

一 百 万 种 亲 吻 (One Million Kind of Kisses)

One Million Kind of Kisses


青 春 奋 不 顾 身 成 熟 理 性 评 分 
qīng chūn fèn bú gù shēn chéng shu lǐ xìng píng fēn 
Youthful and daring, mature and rational in making decision
长 大 後 人 遗 失 单 纯
zhǎng dà hòu rén yí shī dān chún
Losing innocence after growing up
追 寻 你 而 启 程 奉 献 美 丽 人 生
zhuī xún nǐ ér qǐ chéng, fèng xiàn měi lì rén shēng 
I take off to chase after you, offering my wonderful life
 为 你 我 不 觉 得 牺 牲
wéi nǐ wǒ bù jué dé xī shēng
For you it doesn't feel like a sacrifice
 初 恋 伤 痕
chū liàn shāng hén 
Scars from first love
 多 深 我 就 多 认 真
duō shēn wǒ jiù duō rèn zhēn
The deeper they are, the more devoted I am
勇 敢 爱 也 能 勇 敢 恨 
yóng gǎn ài yě néng yóng gǎn hèn
I will love and hate without holding back
勇 敢 承 认 是 我 忍 不 住 沉 沦
 yóng gǎn chéng rèn shì wǒ rěn bú zhù chén lún
I will admit without fear, it's me who couldn't help but succumb
是 你 让 爱 情 再 一 次 重 获 新 生
shì nǐ ràng ài qíng zài yí cì zhòng huò xīn shēng
It's you who let love be reborn again

一 百 万 种 亲 吻 比 不 上 你 一 吻
yì bǎi wàn zhǒng qīn wěn bǐ bú shàng nǐ yì wěn
A million kind of kisses, can't compare to your one kiss
  味 道 是 诚 恳 是 责 任 是 种 永 恒
wèi dào shì chéng kěn shì zé rèn shì zhǒng yǒng héng
It tastes sincere, and entrusting - like eternity
一 百 万 种 亲 吻 比 不 上 你 虔 诚
yì bǎi wàn zhǒng qīn wěn bǐ bú shàng nǐ qián chéng
A million kind of kisses, can't compare to your devotion
是 真 爱 钥 匙 开 启 了 最 幸 福 的 我 们
shì zhēn ài yào shi kāi qǐ le zuì xìng fú de wǒ men
It's the key to true love, opening the door to our happiness

一 百 万 种 亲 吻 唯 有 你 的 一 吻
yì bǎi wàn zhǒng qīn wěn wéi yǒu nǐ de yì wěn
A million kind of kisses, only your kiss
安 抚 我 心 疼 我 失 温 让 我 安 稳
ān fǔ wǒ xīn téng wǒ shī wēn ràng wǒ ān wěn
can comfort my heartache, my lost of warmth and let me feel secure
一 百 万 种 亲 吻 来 自 你 的 灵 魂
yì bǎi wàn zhǒng qīn wěn lái zì nǐ de líng hún
A million kind of kisses, come from your soul
所 以 我 执 着 我 认 真 我 爱 着 你
suó yǐ wǒ zhí zhuó wǒ rèn zhēn wǒ ài zhe nǐ
So I preserve, I put in my whole heart in loving you
所 以 我 执 着 我 认 真 
suó yǐ wǒ zhí zhuó wǒ rèn zhēn 
So I preserve, I put in my whole heart
我 爱 得 比 谁 深
wǒ ài dé bǐ shuí shēn
I love more deeply than anyone else

The conspiracy of love

There's this one thing that's been swarming inside my head, but I've never been able to put it into words. You know, that kind of things, happen sometimes.
I've been thinking.. why is there such a high divorce rate lately, especially in America (you're NOT gonna argue me on that one)? Then I realized: Too many romantic movies. Too many Disney movies.

Girls have been taught since toddlers that the sole purpose of their lives is to find that one Prince Charming, who would ride on that one suave white horse, and sweeps you right off your feet and make you fall head over heels. (Don't even get me started on how they're taught that the numero uno priority in their lives is being pretty).

Then there's those Korean dramas. A guy is willing to change for his girl? A jerk becomes a gentleman because of a girl? Um, what? A guy spends the whole day to accompany the girl he fancies? Dow we really want that?

Then girls expect their boyfriends to do the same things the Korean drama guys do, the wives expect their husbands to be as romantic.
And all the malekind thought "What's batshit-craze going on here? Let's go back to Mars."

Girls, let's wake up from this slumber, let's wake up from these dreams. Instead of expecting man to do things for you, start doing things for yourself. Instead of spending your energy trying to be with successful, rich guys, why don't you achieve something for a change? Isn't that what feminism is all about?


P.S.: I don't know if this has to do with anything, but.. what's with guys and sandwich and beer? Do guys really love those things so much, or is this another conspiracy by the movies?
People who love us are those who want us to be better than ourselves and themselves.
[That's why the love of our parents are undeniable?]
The case of :
- Evil twin?
- Bawang Putih/Bawang merah?
- White Swan/Black Swan?
- Hallucination?
- Photoshop?


Some don't remember, most don't even know:
I'm a feminist.
Here's a lesson that I learnt: As soon as a guy (bf/husband/spouse of any kind) puts you below his friends, drop him and move on.
Drop him like a fungi-infested bread that you almost bite.

If he puts you below his god, god of any kind, it's good.
If he puts you below his family, it's even better.
But if he puts you below his friends.. run as fast as you can. You're better than that.
If he puts you below his work.. are you kidding me?! Do you even have to ask that?

Love is a leap of faith?

I'm sorry, I'm afraid to fall.
I don't want to be a fool.