~Audi alteram partem~

You know your part of the story. Now hear the other side.
Cos everyone just want to be heard

Showing posts with label half-breed poems. Show all posts
Showing posts with label half-breed poems. Show all posts


So I wasn't crazy,
     there's a word for it.

So I wasn't losing my mind,
     there's a philosophy about it.
Arthur Schopenhauer quote

So I'm not alone,
     there's followers of it.
Reddit Antinatalism group

Goodbye, Hank Rearden

I thought you're a fighter
I thought you'd fight for what you deserve
Not letting them define you by their standard

The Falling Star

Teringat Ksatria, Putri, dan Bintang Jatuh
Teringat ketika sang Bintang terjatuh, tersandung cinta
Teringat ketika sang ksatria lebih memilih sang putri
Tapi kini sang Bintang tak lagi jatuh, ia telah mencapai tempat tujuannya
Dan siap menjelma menjadi seorang Putri

Falling is just flying with a rough landing.

When your Hermes is not your muse
And your muse is drown in love
Separated by silence

Love is an art, and art is subjective

Partial credit for Mr. Surya


A smiling face An empty heart A back turned and a tear A motion without emotion

Whatever happened to chivalry?

Whatever happened to chivalry?
Some said it's killed by femininity.
But, eMANcipation is a stillborn,
(and still infiltrate by man.)
chivalry died too early.

It's expensive to be a woman..

..when you're happy, you want to celebrate with shopping.
..when you're sad, you want to cheer yourself up with shopping.
..when you're bored, you want to fill your time with shopping.
..when you're sick, you want to make yourself feel better with shopping.

But don't worry boys, SOME girls actually know how to earn their own money to spend (and some boys actually ask money from them).

也许你不会懂, 从你说爱我以后,

Did you check the mail today?
There might be a letter from me to you.
Telling you that I've been missing you.
That I'll walk miles and miles to meet you.
And I have. Only to find that you're not there.

Did you check the mail today?
I've been feeling lonely and all I wanted was to talk to you.
I called and you didn't pick up.
I sent a message and I never know if you received it.
So I sent a mail, but I guess you didn't check the mail box as well.

Now I realized..       You just don't care, you leave me alone like the letter in the box.

Part poem, part narcissism

Okay, I admit, this post is neither about any significant life lesson or anything brilliant. It just about me.. I mean, I've written so many posts in this blog, not to mention my other blogs.. but do you -the readers- know who am I? At some point, even I forget who I am..

So here it is..
My name is Eva Berlin Fransiskus.

Eva as in the Hebrew 'Eve', which means the giver of life.
But I'm no giver of life, I'm not even sure if I have a life of my own. So how do I give life to others?

Berlin as in Berlin Wall, Berlin.
Maybe that's why I have an expression as stoic as the stones.
Maybe that's why I have walls arond me that keep away strangers,
and keep the people I love trapped.

Fransiskus, as in Franciscus Asisi or Franciscus Xaverius.
But I'm not saint, not even a half.
And it's with s and k, instead of c and c.
Cos I'm an Indonesian and thus the Indonesian spelling.

Moral of the Story: There's so much you can learn just simply from a person's name. We can even know about one's parents and one's background if we dig deep enough.

Misc wisdom I picked along the way

'Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.'
A sharp tongue can cut your own throat.
If you want your dreams to come true, you mustn't oversleep.
Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important.
The best vitamin for making friends is B1.
The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.
The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge.
One thing you can give and still keep...is your word.
You lie the loudest when you lie to yourself..
If you lack the courage to start, you have already finished.
One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.
Ideas won't work unless ' You' do.
Your mind is like a parachute...it functions only when open.
The 10 commandments are not a multiple choice.
The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime!
It is never too late to become what you might have been.
Life is too short to wake up with regrets.. So love the people who treat you right.. Forget about the ones who don't.
Everything happens for a reason.
If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it.
Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.
Friends are like balloons; once you let them go, you might not get them back.
Sometimes we get so busy with our own lives and problems that we may not even notice that we've let them fly away.
Sometimes we are so caught up in who's right and who's wrong that we forget what's right and wrong.
Sometimes we just don't realize what real friendship means until it is too late. I don't want to let that happen so I'm going to tie you to my heart so I never lose you.

Sometimes, just sometimes..

Sometimes I love him, sometimes I hate him so much.
Sometimes, I believe this one could be different.
Sometimes, I don't even dare to hope.
Sometimes, things seem bright, the future seems bright.
Sometimes, there's nothing there.
Sometimes, I'm just tired, wish I could end it all.
Sometimes.. Just sometimes.

And sometimes, life doesn't go on.
Believe me, I know.
You live, you breath, you move. (But) Just like a zombie. You feel nothing, the heart is cold --or no heart at all.

To I_Boy..
I know exactly how it feels.. It's sad, isn't it?
They only like you when you're the happy cheerful person.
Once they take a slight peek of our sadness, they run like their lives depend on it.. Even those who claim they care, they simply have no time to care.

"If only thirst could quench sorrow, Ptolemy.." -Alexander

A More Twisted Fairytale

You might think that it's just another fairytale.
That you've heard it somewhere.
But, behold! Here's a more twisted fairytale.
About a princess and a knight.

She's not a princess after all, for all you know,
just a slave donned in luxurious gowns,
locked up in a dark tower of a dark palace.
And the knight..
He is the royal son, a crown prince in disguise.

The princess stands on her balcony
for one thousand and first time
in a thousand and one nights.
"I'll love you forever," the knight said.
"Forever is not real," the princess answered.
"I'll always be here by your side," he said
"Let's not talk about the future," she replied.

Cos many knights have come
Throwing pebbles, drawing swords.
Draw her attention, fight for her
or so she had hoped.
But little that they know, little did she know
There is one thing much scarier than dragons and witches
The king himself, the father of the princess.

Many knights have come
and many knights have left..
Is this what it is?
Just another reason not to trust men.
Not to trust love.
Cos there's no such thing as happily-ever-after ending.
No knight or prince would want to fight THAT dragon to save THIS princess.

When I finally let someone step closer, it's just another pack of lies.
But I appreciate that that someone left quickly, causing less pain.
There's nothing to cry over.


Soundtrack of the day: Butterfly Cry by Kerli
"Affair of the heart is the undoing of a hero.."

When I'm not, you are.
When I do, you don't.
You're here, but you're so far away.
Within range but unreachable.

I try to deny, but how is it supposed to work?
Even though I don't ever say it, I still feel it.
This feeling is like a butterfly.
So fragile yet so strong.
The urge is so strong I'm suffocated.
Yet it's so fragile I know it'll die soon.
It'll die before we're able to comprehend.
Even before we realize it ever existed.

How good will its life be if it doesn't have to feel guilty
when it does the things that brings
happiness for it.
How should anyone understand?
The sadness of the butterfly.
Cos its existence just another one
In this universe.
In vain.

I miss my -sweet- lovely durian.
Do you still remember who you are?

I do - :)
- -:- - -:- -

Sekarang aku tahu apa yang aku takutkan. Bukan mimpi yang terlalu indah yang takkan menjadi kenyataan, tapi mimpi yang menjadi kenyataan tapi ternyata tak seindah yang aku bayangkan.

"There's nothing better than a good lie.."

Mood: Angry
Soundtrack: Evanescene, "Everybody's Fool"

There are more lies than broken promises.

There are more lies around you than you realize.
The promises of love, of parent's love, of best friends',
the promises of shoulder you can cry on, of helping hands, of anything on earth.
It's all lies.
Where are they when your world's falling apart?
Where are they when you're trying so hard picking up your shattered dream?
When you bleed by crystallized tears?
Keeping their own world and dreams safe. Away from you.

They break your heart with their lies,
stomp on it with their indifference,
throw it away and laugh away.
Then they're condemn you for not having a heart?!

When the whole world around you is drowned, I will be here. Maybe I will not be strong enough to protect you or to save you. But I will be here. With you. Never will let you feeling alone.

When the whole world around me is drowned, I don't want you to be here. I want you to be in somewhere safe. Knowing that you are safe is enough to giving me strength, to survive or to face death.

From both sides~

I saw her today
It's been a long time
Feel like centuries

She seems alright
He look just like he used to

We talked for a while
I can't take my eyes off him

She kept looking at me, don't know why
He didn't want to look at me, don't know why

She asked, "how are you?"
He asked, "do you have a boyfriend?"

I told her about my new girlfriend
I said no...

I pretended that I care
I pretended that I don't care

She look different from she used to
He looked more attractive that he was

She said, "ok then, see you around"
He said, "goodbye.."

Then I went to play basketball
Then I went home and cry


I think I'm in love.
But I don't know whether it is love.

This kind of feeling can be very deceiving.
There are times when I'm missing him so much.
Remembering our silent conversation.
Remembering the things that we've shared to each other.
Dreams, fear, worry, laugh, anger. Everything.

There are times when I hate him so much.
For coming to my life... then dissappear
                without a trace.
For giving me so much joy... then take it away
                like I don't deserve it.
For teaching me to believe in love... then denying it himself.

There are times, I really want him to know:
You mean so much for me.
You know I'd give everything for you
                but you also know that I don't have everthing.
If you want me to stay, I will do just that.
If you want me to go away, because you happier that way
                                                ...I will do just that.

are times I hate myself.
Because I never had the courage to tell him everything I want him to know.

Soundtrack: That's Where You Find Love by Westlife

10July06 --the whole story

I walk down the stairs, get in to the car.
Forget about him.
And close the door.
I cant.
I sit... and look up.
You don't love him.
I know you would be standing at the window, I was right.
I do.
You're looking down, in the darkness that surrounding.
Oh, I love him.
I'm almost sure you are looking at me, but wait...
She's in the car too.
But he doesn't love me...
I curse my human eyes... cos because of them I cant see your face clearly.
Or does he..?