"Life is just death in slow motion."

- Lewis Black, Comedy Central UK

Singapore oh Singapore

Singapore is known for many things, but friendly is not one of them.

Me: Can I have 2 siew mai^ and teh si gao siew dai*?
Lady: Having here or take away?
Me: Having here
Me: *thinking I can't finish the tea* Actually, can you make the tea take away
Lady: SO YOU WANT TEA OR TEH SI**?!
Me: Teh si, but I mean make it take away
Lady: BUT YOU ORDER (sic) TEH SI GAO SIEW DAI
Me: *also raised my voice* YES TEH SI GAO SIEW DAI BUT MAKE IT TAKE AWAY
Lady: Ya lah, take away
Me: ???

^ A type of traditional Chinese dumpling

* Thick coffee with evaporated milk, less sugar

** Coffee with condensed milk

How to order coffee in Singapore.
To order tea, change the word "kopi" to "teh".

"The world is yours. Take it."

-Olympias

Just won this in a lucky draw. Destiny is calling me. The Universe is sending me a sign.

- : -

In the same event, I talked to a lady who studied in Sweden for 6 months. I asked her how is it there and she said it's too quiet especially compared to Singapore, "You will only meet another human being if you walked for miles." I don't see the problem?

Well, one person's hell is another person's heaven. It's perfect for me. Where do I sign?

There are no contradictions

This is a story of contradictions of a certain wise person.
Disclaimer: All quotes are indeed real and not exaggeration, in all their ridiculousness. Only the timeline is jumbled up. If it's not clear, calling the person "wise" is a sarcasm.

Me: You should watch Game of Thrones.
Wise person (WP): I don't have time. I'm working to build the perfect software to earn money so I don't have to work for the rest of my life.
Me: K
WP: Talk to you later. I gotta catch a Pokemon.

- - : - -

Me: I'm thinking to move to Europe, for a chance to settle down there.
WP: You're so childish. You're a bad planner. You're not thinking of all the aspects. You only see the beautiful things, but not considering the negative things. Like racism. Listen to me, I've read the geopolitical information, psychology of the people, and inflation and exchange rate. I know that Europe economy is going down in a few years. Do you really want to live in such a place? Believe me, you don't.
Me: K
WP: Omg, I'm late for a meeting. Which direction to this place?

- - : - -

Me: I'm changing my lifestyle, so I'm cutting back on sugar.

WP: You only want to lose weight, right? You only care about looking skinny. Losing weight is not just about cutting back sugar. Like me, now I'm jogging every night. Do you wanna know how much I lost? I've lost 8 kg. My wife has lost 13 kg.

Me: K

WP: BTW, have you tried Nutella?

Knowing all the facts doesn't make you a smart person, much less a wise person.
You can know a lot, but still be an idiot.

Don't make it too easy for me

During latest family gathering... My COUSIN (yes, my cousin), showing off her second granddaughter (yes, you read that right), hinting at me still unmarried: "See, even my daughter already has two daughters."

I was torn between being nice, "Congratulations."
Or being my sarcastic self, "My condolences."

I just smiled mysteriously, cos my mama said to always be nice, but she also said to always be myself.

English proficiency

Another interesting, thought-provoking conversation with my (other) colleague:

Her: *saying this cannot be done, that cannot be done* It's impossible

Me: Nothing is impossible

Her: Are you endorsing Nike?

Me: What?

Her: I mean Adidas

Me: Oh, you mean "Impossible is Nothing"? That one is "Impossible is Nothing".

Her: ....

Me: Yeah, that's Adidas

Her: Tit for tat, tat for tit, it's the same.
Me: ....

Gloom

First morning without him, and even Singapore is gloomy.

Passion

How do you know what your dream is, you ask? It's when you can't stop thinking about it, until you do something. And once you're doing something to reach that dream, you can't stop moving.

What is passion, you ask? It's when you can't stop yourself from working for it. Even when everyone doubts you, mock you. Even when you question yourself. But you can't help to keep working for it.

Six cities in six days

1. Hanoi - 19 Aug

Had to meet a kabajillion people for this trip. But that means a kabajillion food.

The mandatory pho. Costs just around SGD2 (VND35.000)

Pigeon sticky rice. WHAT?! That's right, pigeon sticky rice.
If you're wondering, pigeon meat tastes like pork but with much softer texture, and minus the smell. 

Got hit by a motorcycle when I was walking in Old Quarter. That's the first. But the driver is so pro that she (yes, it's a SHE) stopped at the right time and "only" nudged on my ankle with her motorcycle front wheel.

2. Vinh - 20 Aug

Yes, that's the airplane we had to take to reach Vinh.
It's by Singapore Airlines.

More food! This time all is homemade.
Can you believe they cooked all of this within a couple of hours!

3. Cửa Lò - 21 Aug

Just about half an hour drive from Vinh, Cua Lo has different atmosphere being right on the side of a beach. And what a beautiful beach it is! We're here, of course, to have dinner of fresh seafood.

Not so impressed by the cookings though, not sure if it's the restaurant's fault or I'm not a fan of the cooking style. Except for the oysters. Well it's oysters. You can't go wrong with them.

4. Da Nang - 22 Aug

Danang is surprisingly clean and safe. I have the vibe of Penang, where we can walk by the roadside because there is a roadside, and because people or cars won't bother you.
Also surprisingly, there's so many Koreans! The annoying thing is, they're all eating Korean food or french fries. That's sad, when you can get these kind of food:

This is hands down the best meal I had in our Vietnam trip this time.
Sun-dried squid, garlic oysters, morning glory (kangkong), mi quang, and beeeeerrrrsss.

The highlight of our dinner time in Da Nang: Cha ca or Vietnamese fishcake, and mi quang or literally the noodles from Quang Nam area: 

The first time I had cha ca in Hanoi, it wasn't to impressive. But this time, it's so mind-blowing, I even finished all the vegetables! Funnily, it's the first time my Vietnamese boyfriend had mi quang, and I proudly claim that I'm the one who told him about it. We liked it so much during our lunch, we just have to find it again for our dinner.

5. Hội An - 23 Aug

Just a half-hour drive from Danang, Hoi An is great for day trip. The UNESCO site is tiny, you can walk around it in one hour. It's very photogenic. Just in a few hours we're there, we saw at least 6 couples doing pre-wedding pictures.

But another highlight is of course the food scene. There's a stretch along the river that's dedicated for food stalls. Some of the things we had are dry pork noodles, mini egg pancake, and Vietnamese pancake (respectively cao lầu, bánh căn, bánh xèo), the last being my absolute favourite.

6. Hue - 24 Aug

We weren't planning to drop by here. It's our last day but our flight is at night. There's nothing much to do in Danang except eating. So we decided to visit Vietnam's ancient capital city instead.

With 2 hours drive away from Danang, it's a bit further that I expected. It feels a bit rushed since we only spent a few hours here.

Who am I kidding, we're just there to eat. Went to the old palace to take a glimpse but we spent more time to eat. Omg, ya'll. If you think Vietnamese food is nice, you should try Central Vietnamese food. I'm so upset with myself that I didn't go there earlier.

Random thoughts from this trip:

• You have to spend at least 2 days in each city of Central Vietnam (Danang, Hoi An, Hue). Because you need at least the space of 3 meals a day to enjoy the food they have to offer.
• That's all, that's all the thoughts I have from this trip, just food-related.

My antinatalist-self: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

1. We all know it's not "a few" sleepless nights.
2. There's no guarantee he will grow up to love and respect you. It is not a given thing, you have to be a respectable person for your children to respect you.
3. Children, like pets, are not blessings, they're responsibilities. I hope more people realise this so we have fewer entitled parents in the world.