Keepers of faith..

Are you a believer?

Starving no more...

Like any other teenagers, I've been struggling with my weight.
Hollywood and runway have spread a disease called flat-abs-obsession syndrome.
Which make every single teenagers --girls AND boys-- and even mid-ages worship anyone who has that 'body to die for'.
That's right...TO DIE FOR.
Ever heard of anorexia [which now already developed to pregnorexia] and bulimia?
Because of 'that body', many people have starved themselves.
And that's exactly what I did.
I starved myself, cursing me when I eat rice a grain too much.
Until some times ago, I'm having a terrible stomachache.
It's like something wild moving in my stomach,
torturing me, and making me feel like I wanna throw up.
Well, I did once.
And the strange thing is, it's only happened in the evening.
After a week of misery, I realize --my body has react differently to respon my HUNGER.
That's when I knew THIS GOT TO STOP
Now, I learn to love the body I'm in.
I eat everything I want to eat: ice cram, cookies, pizza --everything.
Not too much that I want to throw up, though [hey, I said, I LOVE MY BODY]
I move my body more, too.
Instead of watching movie-stars and models showing their starving bodies in the telly,
I clean my house whenever I don't have anything to do.
It's a great excersize, and also making my home a more comfortable place to live.
And the result to my body? Not bad.. [see image, hehe...]

Next time anyone commented you're fat/ugly/anything bad,
ask them when is their birthday... so that you can buy them a mirror.

Soundtrack: Ugly by Sugababes

Love~

I think I'm in love.
But I don't know whether it is love.

This kind of feeling can be very deceiving.
There are times when I'm missing him so much.
Remembering our silent conversation.
Remembering the things that we've shared to each other.
Dreams, fear, worry, laugh, anger. Everything.

There are times when I hate him so much.
For coming to my life... then dissappear
                without a trace.
For giving me so much joy... then take it away
                like I don't deserve it.
For teaching me to believe in love... then denying it himself.

There are times, I really want him to know:
You mean so much for me.
You know I'd give everything for you
                but you also know that I don't have everthing.
If you want me to stay, I will do just that.
If you want me to go away, because you happier that way
                                                ...I will do just that.

There are times I hate myself.
Because I never had the courage to tell him everything I want him to know.
Soundtrack: That's Where You Find Love by Westlife

The mermaid's day

"Ariel pull the prince out of the sea, out of danger, to the beach nearby.
She looks at him, can't believe what she feels when she's looking at this magical being. Something she's never felt for someone she's never met --a creature she's never saw.
A feeling that pulls her heart and her hand to touch this beautiful face.
But when she's only a milimeter away from the prince... "someone's coming! I shouldn't be seen. But my prince..." And with that, Ariel hides herself behind a coral, scared of being seen, but even more scared someone's gonna hurt her prince.
A princess, beautiful and demure, just like Ariel. But she has something that Ariel has not: a pair of legs.
The princess kneel down beside Erick, exactly when he coughs and open his eyes...

The prince never know Ariel was there, that she is the one who has saved him from drowning. Instead, he married the princess, mistaken her for his savior, Ariel..."

                                    ***

Ariel's getting more and more anxious, "Why hasn't he replied my sms?" Suddenly she remembers, "he must be online". She's right, he was waiting her on the chat room.
-Hei, whats wrong? y didnt u replied my sms?
-Hei..yeah,sorry,its my cell. it just wont send any sms.
-Oh? thats weird. have u check the settings?
-Wait...Hei,can u check ur settings for me?
-OK..which one?
-Cell broadcast,is it on or off?
-Ok,nothings wrong then..

Ariel goes silent, she thinks he is already check all the settings, so she doesn't know what to say. Then Erick says:
-Oh,just 4get it. What r u doing?
-........
-........

                                    .......days later.....
-Hey,hows ur cell?
-Oh,its ok now. It turns out to be the msg centres..
-Oh....
-Maybe its changed automatically when I went to sg.
-I c... How did u find out it was the msg centres?
-Vanessa told me,when we were playing bowling together I asked her bout it. And she fixed it for me :)
-...

Ariel's heart sank.
The msg centres? What did she told Erick? The settings! And she meant EVERYTHING in the settings... :'(
Ariel really wishes that she was there that time. She could've fixed it for him. She...doesn't know what to say...or what to feel anymore.
Oh, gosh!

10July06 --the whole story

I walk down the stairs, get in to the car.
Forget about him.
And close the door.
I cant.
I sit... and look up.
You don't love him.
I know you would be standing at the window, I was right.
I do.
You're looking down, in the darkness that surrounding.
Oh, I love him.
I'm almost sure you are looking at me, but wait...
She's in the car too.
But he doesn't love me...
I curse my human eyes... cos because of them I cant see your face clearly.
Or does he..?