Incredible thoughts

I have this REALLY interesting colleague who always says magical things. This is basically my face every time she says something:

She's been entertaining me from May 2014. And her latest pearl of thought is so incredible that I can't resist the temptation to share it here:

"so cool, no wonder they still enjoy working under great pressure of productivity."

So cool
                           No wonder how

they still enjoy working

under great pressure of productivity.

Under great pressure of productivity.

Under great pressure of productivity.

Under great pressure of productivity.

A t-shirt material right there:

Some of her other incredible thoughts include, but not limited to:

•  The meaning of STD does not make sense

• Google search is down (but it's ok if you turn it off then on again)

"Incredible thoughts, incredible minds
I'm so overwhelmed
How did her brain conceive them?!'

The groove

"It's always good to see people who are.... aspirational," she said as she closed the conversation.

A weekend well-spent

I think I've never written anything about my travels. I need to make it a habit so I can have written memories about the interesting things in my life.

So, first ever travel journal: Jakarta.

I haven't been there since forever. I can't even remember since when... Was it 2007 or 2008, or after that. 

Didn't really want to ever visit Jakarta because the traffic is traumatic. 

But a close friend is getting married so we have a excuse reason to go. 

I have to say this time the experience has been much better.
Jakarta is kinder to me this time.

• There was less traffic. 

It helps, of course, that I arrived at 11 pm on Friday and went to the airport on 3 pm on Monday. And I was late meeting people most of the time, but hey, at least I got to meet them on the same day instead of the next day!

• Uber ist gut

Seriously. It's much better than taking Taxi. It comes immediately, and it's dirt cheap. I was pleasantly surprised.

• Partying, partying, hey!

Got to go some fancy places in Jakarta, like the Cloud Lounge. The place is meh, but what's good is I got to meet some old friends (and new)! The rare kind souls that I was lucky enough to befriend.

And not forgetting the best thing about visiting Indonesia: FOOD

 Bebek goreng and nasi bakar.

LOTS OF FOOD:

Mi kepiting, sate babi, churros + Spanish coffee.

Gado-gado, and siomay Bandung.

And a lot more, but too many to list here. 

I might not be back to Jakarta any time soon, but now I have a better memory of this crowded city.

Next stop: Phuket!

Reality vs expectation

What I say:
"Hi team, please remember to send in your weekly report. Here is the link. Don't hesitate to email me if you have any question."

What I really want to say:
"Please do your freaking work and remember the freaking deadline and not make your team leaders remind you every freaking week. This is not a freaking high school where your teacher has to remind you to do your freaking homework. Your teacher is being paid to do that, now you're being paid to do your works you little shitheads."

Heartless

"You laugh at me because I'm different, 

I laugh at you because you're all the same." 

- Jonathan Davis

Toupe

This is my favorite cat. If Sheldon has his chair, I have this cat. "In an ever-changing world it is a single point of consistency."
She's not mine, though she's a free cat. Or free-range cat, the way the hispters call it.

We call her Toupe (or Toupée, if you're feeling fancy) because the marking on her head looks like a wig with middle parting.

Look how fat she is. No, she's not pregnant. 

We thought she was pregnant, but she's been like that for the past 2 years. 

Life must've been good for her.

Gone and forgotten

I'm taking a moment of silence for the fallen blogs:

• Snapshot
• Never know
• The Cody Zone
• what are you eating? I don't know!
• it's MY life
• My Heart Your Home
• Read If You Dare
• Chantelle Fiddy's World of Whatever

Nice vs kind

Every once in a while, come along people who inspire you.

Some of them inspire you to be great because they're great. Some people inspire you to be a poet because they're the lowest scum on this earth.

And lately, I'm surrounded by the 2nd type of people. More precisely, the self-proclaimed "nice people".

I can't get over people who self-proclaim they're nice. I have so many bad news for them:

1. Perhaps you're too dumb to realise that YOU're the one who's been irritating the people around you. Irritating people with your stupidity and self-entitlement.
2. Your grammar and spelling are so bad, you're irritating ME.
3. I don't think you really understand what 'nice' means: 

Please don't be proud of being nice.
'Nice' is not a character, 'nice' is a mask you put on to make other people like you.
A lot of nice people are just fake-ass trying to please everyone around them. So don't be proud if people say you're nice. And be ashamed to call yourself nice.

If you want to be better, please be KIND. Being kind is something inherent (if you're too dumb to understand the word, please Google it. If you don't know how to Google it, please go jump into the sea), something that you are, with or without other people looking.

And even then, even when you've managed to be a kind person, please don't go around telling people what a kind person you are.

Because that's just looking for attention. 

Don't be a narcissist.

Because, Google, I'm not Malay and the language I've been using is Indonesian.
For a mega-corporation, you're quite stupid. Jesus.

Imperator Joe

Me: What should I dress up for Halloween.. Maybe something in Mad Max theme.
Bf: Expectation --Charlize Theron. Reality --Immortan Joe.

THANKS, BOYFRIEND.

Me: Do you think I should do a double-eyelid surgery?
Bf: Why?
Me: I look so sinister with single eyelid.. You know, resting bitch face.
Bf: That's not because of the eyelids.

THANKS, BOYFRIEND.

Colourful friendship

Look at what my cute colleagues brought me! I'm not big on celebrations, but who can resist this awesome cake brought in by a magical unicorn.

So last year I got 8-flavoured cheesecake, and this year I got 7-coloured rainbow cake! Awesome, awesome, awesome!

It's the most colourful cake I've ever seen in my life!

Fork? What fork?
Who needs fork?

April's Fool reality

Once upon a bright day in Ollieland...

I was having lunch with a colleague in our pantry. Being a travel-related company, our office pantry is decorated with a huge map on one wall.
My colleague (C) suddenly said, "Is this the real map?"
Me *confused*: What do you mean?

As this is April's Fool, I thought it's a prank question.

C: Is it how the real map is, or they just put the country randomly?
Me *still not sure about the question*: Uh, it's how it is. So yeah, it's the real map.
C: Huh? Then America is on the left?
Me *finally gets the question but now am speechless*: ...

Too bad it's not a prank.

C: ....
Me: Well, usually Asia is in the middle, cos we're in Asia, so they make the maps that way. But this is based on Europe map, so Europe is in the middle.

I look forward to more of such friendly conversations around the office!

The crime scene

011013

Land of Oz

Every once in a while, I come up with a crazy idea.
One that would make my friends sure I'm a crazy dreamer.

Maybe that's why I don't have many friends.. hmm.. *distracted, thinking about the past*
Well, it's ok, the friends that I still have don't really mind my crazy dreams.

Most of my dreams didn't come true, of course, as I just leave them as they are: a dream. But now I'm dreaming a new dream and I can't sleep at night cos I literally dream it in my sleep. And I just have to do it, no matter what. Especially since my last job interviewer went MIA.

My latest crazy dream is *drum rolls pls* move to Australia and work there.

The first common reaction I got was, "Why so sudden?"
Sudden for other people is because I announce it suddenly. But I've been thinking about it for months, and kept the idea at the back of my head for years.

Bukan hanya cantik yang subjektif. 'Kenapa' dan 'karena' juga.

The second common reaction I got was, "Why?"
That interrogative word again. To that question I always answer "Why not?" But of course that simple rebuttal is never enough to stop people from asking. One 'why' is enough to confuse philosophers. A why answered with a why is like poking a sleeping dragon. So to soothe the dragon back to sleep again, I chant the obvious facts: Australia has higher demand of human resource and offers higher salary (compared to Singapore and Indonesia).

But the real reason to that question, I only told one person so far. This blog is the second place I repeat it: To give my life a purpose.

Hidup itu harus ada yang mau dicapai...

We have to have a goal in life. Only by having something to achieve can we have an achievement.
By staying where I am right now, I can't achieve anything. I don't have a purpose. I've lost interest (and hope) in my previous dream. While just dreaming this new dream, I have the enthusiasm to wake up in the morning.

Now, I have to risk everything I have (which is not much anyway) to keep moving forward. So that even though this dream falls through, at least I tried.

Another day at work

4 pm in the office..

*ring ring*
Me: Halo?
Lady: May I know is RT still with you? (name is hidden to protect privacy)
Me: Oh, he's no longer with us.
Lady: May I know who replaces him?
Me: Sorry, may I know what this is regarding of?
Lady: I just want to know who replaces RT *being rude*
Me: I'm not sure what's RT position was, can you just let me know so I can refer you to the right person?
Lady: *in bossy tone* So here's the background ya, I'm from a PR company and I usually send press releases to RT to be published.
Me: Oh-
Lady: But now the emails I've been sending him keeps bouncing back.
Me: Actually-
Lady: So can I know who's replacing him?
Me: I am the one who's handling editorial now.
Lady: Ok, what's your name?
Me: Eva
Lady: How do you spell that?
Me: -_-" eee- veee-- ey
Lady: And your last name?
Me: *oh shit* Fransiskus. eeef--
Lady: What is that?
Me: Fransiskus. FRANSISKUS. ef-ar-ey-ant-es-aee-es-kei-you-es *quickly*
Lady: sorry, I didn't get that.
Me: *slowly now* eeeef... aaaarr.. eeeey..
Lady: I didn't get that.
Me: eeeeey... ef-ar-eeeey..
Lady: Ok.
Me: aaaant.. es-aee-es... keeeiiii...youuuu...essss..
Lady: What's your email address?
Me: That'd be eva...berlin..
Lady: How do you spell that?
Me: -_-" eva.. bee-- ee-- ar-
Lady: Eva..vee--ee--ar.
Me: No, no, bee, bee..
Lady: For Vietnam?
Me: For Bangkok.
Lady: Ok
Me: Eeel--
Lady: Huh? Can you repeat that from the beginning? *still bossy*
Me: ee-vee-ey-bee-ee-ar-el-ay-ant
Lady: ee-vee-ey-bee-ee-ar-el-ay-em
Me: No, ant, for Norway.
Lady: Ok, so evaberlin at?
Me: *say the company webmail*
Lady: And your position is?
Me: I'm the editor
Lady: Editorial--..?
Me: Editor
Lady: Editorial--..?
Me: I AM THE EDITOR
Lady: Oh, you're the editor--- *sweet voice* Oh, thank you Eva, I will be sending you the emails then. Thank you.
Me: Sure, bye.

Good luck with the job, lady.

Mac is a bimbo

Bro: Why do you suddenly do not want Mac laptop anymore?
Me: Cos I liked Mac only for the editing software, I don't like everything else.
Bro: This line of Mac is the last batch in which Steve Jobs is involved :'(

*after long talk of why-not-Mac*

Me: Mac is like a bimbo girl.
Bro: Hah??
Me: On the first sight it is indeed attractive, and it is indeed fashionable. But in the long run, high maintenance and more heartache than happines.
Bro: Is this your bf's theory? -_-"

A day at work

5.59 pm in the office..

Colleague 1: *scrubbing her keyboard with disinfectant*
Colleague 2: *arranging stationary and documents*
Colleague 3: *updating her documents for the day*
Boss: *still on the phone while replying emails* (he's a multitasker)

Me: *turned off computer, bag in one hand, sit with a stance (kuda2) ready to run*

Late-stayer in the office are either hardworking (read: person who cannot work smart) or a suck-up to boss.

And the world mourns...

 

Of all the mysteries in human life, death is still the most unbearable.

"Such a awful day... R.I.P Steve Job..." -Vicky Andhika. It is indeed.

I'll tell my children, in the next generation, that this is the greatest leader ever lived.. Well, after Alexander the Great, of course.

Message by Tim Cook in Apple website

Define 'large'

It's all began when my boyfriend started to picking up words used in advertisements around Singapore. Being a marketing graduate, he likes to point out what's wrong with an advertisement --and apparently he finds a lot of satisfaction in Singaporeans' advertisements.

Then he pointed out, why is it that the Fountain of Wealth in Suntec City quoted as "the World's Largest'? Heck, I've never taken into mind the little little words around Singapore's tourism campaign. He kept nagging about it, so it got into me as well. Yeah, why is it so? Let's look at the facts:

Fountain of Wealth is slightly less than 14 m high, 66 m in diameter and occupies about 1 km sq area.

The famous Bellagio Fountains in Las Vegas shoot up water up to 76 m and the 'lake' on which the fountain reside measured up to 36 km.

While the current biggest fountain in the world is the King Fahd's Fountain that is located on the red sea (300 km in width). The fountain is measured 312 m high, 32 m higher than the highest building in Singapore, and it can be seen by all the people in any spot in Jeddah.

So, what's so large about the Fountain of Wealth?
Is it the largest indoor fountain?
Well, perhaps, in 1998, it was the largest. Now, it has to move on. The Guiness Book needs to update its records.