"Don't talk to PR persons, they are paid to tell you a version of truth."

-Dr. Stephen McIlwaine.

Sometimes, the answer we've been looking for is right around the corner.
Sometimes, we're just delaying to make the turn.

"To become truly great, one has to stand with people.

Not above them."

-Charles de Montesquieu.

A call to arms..

Soundtrack of the day: A Call to Arms by 30 Seconds to Mars

This is a call to arms, gather soldiers
Time to go to war
This is a battle song, brothers and sisters
Time to go to war

For one, I've finally decided which song from 30 Seconds to Mars is my first favorite. Despite of everything that I've said about their new album, 30 Seconds to Mars is still inspiring for me. I guess that's what it is with good stuffs, you have to savour them first to be able to truly enjoy them ;)

Did you ever believe?
Were you ever a dreamer?
Ever imagine heart open and free?
Did you ever deny? Were you ever a traitor?
Ever in love with your bloodless business?

Yup, inspiring me. In this dull life, in an even duller world. With the dullest people. Don't get me wrong, I have few great friends, the wisest people you'll ever meet. But compare to others that surrounding me, they are so few and so far.

I've always been a depressed girl by nature. But lately, it's all coming back to me. Like reading too much Ecclesiastes. Feel sick of everything. Where's the promise of "your tears will dry, you'll soon be free to fly"^? It doesn't exist. Just a well-worn dream.

You do this, do that, this, that, this, back again. Like a cassette being played once too often. Thinking those things will make life easier, yourself likable, your dreams one step closer. But nuh-uh. You only one step closer to the end of your life, or the end of the world, or whichever is closer.
And, bad news, things will only get worse the further you go from the time you were born.

Ever want to be free?
Do you even remember?
Want to be God, the Devil like me?
Ever want to just stop? Do you want to surrender?
Or fight for victory?

Good questions. Everyone wants to be free. But few remember.
Look around. No need to be too far. Look at the mirror. Do you feel bitter inside? Lonely? Unloved? Why?
I know few of my friends that have blogs. Most of the content of their blogs are about disappointment, bitterness, anger, hatred. Why?
Because few remember. Of their dreams. Of their purposes in life. Of their motivation. Of the answer of what should they fight for.
But how should we remember, when this life force us to only remember about one thing: MONEY? Gosh, I can go on and on about that.

Darkness falls, but here comes the rain
To wash away the past and the names
Darkness falls, here comes the rain
To end it all, the blood and the game

But everything has an end, right? Based on some beliefs, the world will come to an end. The old will pass, the new comes. Tears, pain, sadness will be wiped away.
Well, bad news again, though, it's only for few chosen ones.

Far, far away in a land that time can't change
Long, long ago in a place of hearts and gold
Far, far away in a land that time can't change
Long, long ago in a place of hearts and gold

Lesson to learn (for myself too): keep fighting. The battle isn't over yet.
If you think you're at the bottom of the pit, take heart, because when you're at the bottom of the pit, there's only one way left to go: UP.

This is a call to arms... brothers and sisters

Battle of the sexes

This is a reply for Mr. Matahari's blog about Asian culture that prefer sons to daughters. It's true that MOST Asian family prefer first child to be a boy, especially Chinese. And interestingly, I notice that it's the father who always wants a son.
I just can't accept the reasons Mr. Felix put forward of why baby boy is more welcome in a family. I know there's so much more that those reason. I know, I experience it firsthand to gather up the information.

Son preference in India.

1. Of course it's about family name. It's not just a name, however, it represents your money and all your vain mortal belongings. There a certain holy rule that says you can only pass on the money you can't take to heaven, to a bloodline that has your name. Ever wonder why some people even named their son his-own-name Jr.? Imagine if you could bring the money to heave..that'd be interesting.
And more than that, it's about pride. When a girl married off to another guy, she has to have that guy's family name (another holy rule to follow), thus, the girl is no longer a part of her own family. True story, my mom said that she's so sad that someday I'd be some other family's belonging. Good job in making me not wanting to get married, mom.

2. Boys require lower maintenance. For girls, as they grow up, you need to supply for make-up, dresses, clothes, khakis, pants, scarves. And all in different colors. Not to mention the pad supply you have to buy monthly. As for boys, monochrome shirts and jeans will usually do. And when they have gfs, daddies would just use the mantra, 'if you're old enough to date girls, you're old enough to get your own money'.
True story, once upon a time when I was still innocent, my dad said, "mmmh..daddy's little girl. This one's gonna spend so much." I didn't understand then, but I completely understand now that I've de-innocenized myself.

3. They think that boys would definitely want more to take care of them. Or at least, have the ability to. That is also based on true story, in which my dad said that he "wouldn't expect too much for Berlin (that's me) to take care of him when he's old".

Welcome to the universe.

The verdict: It depends on the parents, each family is different. Some family are just ****ed-up; they don't know how to be parents thus causing the children feel like their unwanted.

Moral of the story: Don't have children when you still one yourself. Don't have one when you think you're ready. And definitely don't have one when all you want is "that cute little thing" on your arms.

Part poem, part narcissism

Okay, I admit, this post is neither about any significant life lesson or anything brilliant. It just about me.. I mean, I've written so many posts in this blog, not to mention my other blogs.. but do you -the readers- know who am I? At some point, even I forget who I am..

So here it is..
My name is Eva Berlin Fransiskus.

Eva as in the Hebrew 'Eve', which means the giver of life.
But I'm no giver of life, I'm not even sure if I have a life of my own. So how do I give life to others?

Berlin as in Berlin Wall, Berlin.
Maybe that's why I have an expression as stoic as the stones.
Maybe that's why I have walls arond me that keep away strangers,
and keep the people I love trapped.

Fransiskus, as in Franciscus Asisi or Franciscus Xaverius.
But I'm not saint, not even a half.
And it's with s and k, instead of c and c.
Cos I'm an Indonesian and thus the Indonesian spelling.

Moral of the Story: There's so much you can learn just simply from a person's name. We can even know about one's parents and one's background if we dig deep enough.

Free/Masonry (pun intended)

I think I'm crazy. And be assure that many people can testify the validity of the probability.

So here's one of my craziness. Today, I'm going to talk about Freemasonry.
Did I tell you how did I first comprehensively told about the fraternity? Oh, no, I didn't. Well, it was on 14 December 2009.
It was my friend's b'day party, and he booked a chalet for us to have fun and stay overnight. But, of course, as a true anti-socialist, I withdrew from the room instead, with few friends.
That was when, the night grew older and people grew drunk-ier (yes, they were drinking alcohol), one of my closest friends told me about a conspiracy theory: Michael Jackson was killed.

Being a fan of Michael Jackson for so many years, he never failed to follow the news about the King of Pop. He told me what he's read about why some people suggested that MJ was killed, and who was the suspect. That was when we got into Freemasonry.

I've heard about Freemason, of course (and gravely mistakenly associated it with Charles Manson), mostly just because of Dan Brown's Illuminati, and further more, The Lost Symbol. But what I heard on that night was overwhelming, all the conspiracy theory.
I won't elaborate what I heard here, what Freemasonry is, why would they kill MJ, and so on. First, cos it's a long story. A half told information is dangerous. Second, cos it's just a theory, not proven yet as a fact (and probably won't ever be proven).
I just want people to realize, that this ancient Fraternity do exist. They even admit it openly themselves. I just want people to open their eyes, and realize.

Click here for the complete how-why-what of Freemason.

Moral of the story: be aware of everything around you.
Not necessary just about Freemason, but about many things. Question everything, that's what I learn from my Journalism course. Few things are out there accidentally, everything else is out there for a reason, through a long planning.

I've learnt..

"It's always easier to go down than to go up."

"Smart people.. they think they know everything. While the truth is, 'everything' is just too much. Even for them."

- inspired by Ronald K.

It's interesting to board the early morning bus, during the twilight hour. You'd meet two kinds of people..

One is the clubbers.
Just got back from from enjoying their secular happiness. You'd find them reek of alcohol, acting and dressing like they're the queens and kings of the world. No one is better than them, and who cares about tomorrow, tomorrow will soon be yesterday. Fade and forgotten.

The second kind, however, is the ones who start their day early.
Early birds get the worms, they say. The second kind is mostly made up of the older generation. Those who know, and have learnt, that 'tomorrow' must be prepared and that 'yesterday' will become the pages of your history, of which people would read to see who you are.

The question is, since I was among them, which kind am I belong to?

Somewhere in between..

Happy new year, everyone.

This blog has changed..

I have changed. This blog should changed.
For some time, I've learnt to think what is the purpose of doing the things that we do. There is no point of doing something that doesn't influence other people in a good way.
So I thought, what is the purpose of this blog? No, it's not to tell the world about me, nor to bored them with my "whinings". It shouldn't be.

The purpose of this blog, from now on, is to tell you the few life lessons I've learnt, so you yourself don't have to make the mistakes to learn them. Your life is too short for that.
By writing them here, I will also be always reminded about them.

Pak SBY

Went to Indonesian Embassy today. The President of Indonesia, Pak Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono (or more often called SBY), was dropping by Singapore. And he wanted to "meet" the Indonesian students here. I was there, with few others, to represent the Indonesian students from my campus. So there we were, "meeting" him.
Not so much of a meeting, not exactly. Cos we saw him, he didn't see us. We sit there listening to him, and he stands there, not exactly listening to us.

But anyway, it was a good experience. It's not everyday you can sit only 10 metres away from a president (without someone pointing you a gun).
One thing I noticed about him, he is indeed a very good orator (someone who give a speech). I find that smart people give good speeches. And SBY, he reminds me of Indonesian first president, Pak Soekarno. One who states important things, fervently, and somehow make people believe in what he says.
Oh, for Indonesians who's reading this, do you know that you can sms the President directly? Just sms 9949, and the President's secretary will sort out your smses (of course, if the smses are not important, it won't ever reach SBY).

Life is not fair --get over it

Welcome to the greatest show
Greatest show on earth
You've never seen before
Here the fairytale unfolds

Some time ago, I read a ‘readers’ page’ in a magazine, in which a counselor will answer readers’ life questions. In that particular section that I read was a letter from someone asking a solution for a problem he’s facing at work. Well, it’s not important what was being asked, but the answer was the one that intrigued me. The counselor said, ‘Go in front of the mirror, and repeat to yourself 20 times: Life isn’t fair, life isn’t fair.’
It’s true, isn’t it? There are so many things in this life that we can’t change no matter how unfair they are.

The super rich people who have more money than they could possibly spend, and some don’t even have to work for it. Girls with bad attitude that find themselves meek husbands. The smarties that get straight As just by reading the lecture notes once, while the others have to study day and night for the whole term only just so they can pass.

The combination of the first and second case is the one that get my attention (and the purpose of this blog being written): the gold-diggers. They somehow are able to find, attract, and hook those kind of guys. Not only the boyfriends are willing to pay, but they are also gladly being abused too, both physically and mentally. It’s not that I’m materialistic (or I am, if you’d like to see it that way or call it so, whatever). But it is somewhat painful to see total bitches from hell get all the stuffs they want, paid by their not-so-gullible boyfriends. Whereas I’ve know quite a few girls who are so gentle, so nice, such perfect girlfriends, but they’re never being spoilt by their boyfriends. Some never even got any present from their boyfriend. How ridiculous is that?

I had a little talk with my best friend the other day, and we agreed that these days, guys are stingier than girls and they are more selfish than ever. They whine when they have to pay for the date, dinner or movie tickets, yet they buy “beauty items” to groom themselves. Difficult to say, though; who’s to say that it’s the boyfriend that has to take care of the girl materially? What’s the purpose of women emancipation at the workplace, then?

P.S: Here is the example of what I'm talking about ;)

And here is the funny version of it.

Misc wisdom I picked along the way

'Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.'
A sharp tongue can cut your own throat.
If you want your dreams to come true, you mustn't oversleep.
Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important.
The best vitamin for making friends is B1.
The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.
The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge.
One thing you can give and still keep...is your word.
You lie the loudest when you lie to yourself..
If you lack the courage to start, you have already finished.
One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.
Ideas won't work unless ' You' do.
Your mind is like a parachute...it functions only when open.
The 10 commandments are not a multiple choice.
The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime!
It is never too late to become what you might have been.
Life is too short to wake up with regrets.. So love the people who treat you right.. Forget about the ones who don't.
Everything happens for a reason.
If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it.
Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.
Friends are like balloons; once you let them go, you might not get them back.
Sometimes we get so busy with our own lives and problems that we may not even notice that we've let them fly away.
Sometimes we are so caught up in who's right and who's wrong that we forget what's right and wrong.
Sometimes we just don't realize what real friendship means until it is too late. I don't want to let that happen so I'm going to tie you to my heart so I never lose you.

Many notable things happened for the past few weeks: new activities, old friends, intermezzo here and there. But the most "memorable" of all is a ball in my campus --University of Newcastle Ball. What's special about the ball (beside the fact that it's full of important people both from my campus and my university)?
It's a masquerade. Whole my life, I'm dying to go to one.No joke about it, eversince I watched the Man in the Iron Mask, I've been dreaming to go to a masquerade. But it wouldn't be a dream if it comes true so readily. After trial and tribulations, it was after all, a bad dream..
Perhaps, it will only be wise if I don't go into details. The point is, it was a huge disappointment that the ball didn't go was I wish it to be. In my perfect scenario, I would went to the ball with my sufficiently-formal dress, adorned with a mask (it's a masquerade!), holding hands with my boyfriend, chatted up with my friends happily, took many picture, met and got to know many lecturers and seniors, danced the night away with my boyfriend, then close it with a slow dance and a kiss. Let's just say none of those really happened.
What went wrong? Dare I blame it on my boyfriend? Or was it just my fault that he looked so miserable beside me? Makes me wonder, if I was so ugly that night (or ever so) that he didn't want to hold my hand when we entered the ballroom? Was I so ungraceful that he didn't want to dance with me? Did I shame him somehow that he couldn't bear to wait till the slow song before going back?
He even refused to wear his mask even just for a minute --what's a masquerade without a mask? Yes, he was wearing specs, but is a minute too much to ask?
He didn't even say 'you look pretty tonight' matra. Only when a mentor of ours ask did he said it.
Never mind, it is all over anyway. Just another dream crushed, more lessons learned (and few secrets revealed, it seems to me). When will there be another masquerade in town?

If you want best of both worlds, you have to work double the effort.
-vk.

"You are who you choose to be. Now, choose." -Green Goblin

A friend in need is a friend indeed

Old sayings are always proven true. Well, they survived the corrosion of time precisely because they are accurate most of the time (always, in this case). You can always see which one are the true friends, not fake ones, when you're starting to show the darker side of you and your life.
Sadly, I don't have that many true friends. Luckily, I have few.

It's good to know that those few always stand by me. Even when I'm being difficult and mysterious, complicated and annoying. They're not exactly helping by giving what I need, but they're here, lending listening ears and giving a pat on the back. And some of them even really spend their time trying to help. What wonderful people *hearts*

But like any other things, when you have the good ones, you'll get the bad ones.
There are two kinds of rotten ones that I'm meeting right now: fakers and backstabbers.
One is always so nice and sweet in front of you, give you compliment how beautiful/smart/interesting/etc you are. Tell you that they're so sad that you're sad, blablabla. BUT THEN, behind your back, across the counter, behind closed doors, they'll start spreading gossips that YOU are the untrustworthy one. Geez..stop being fake. What do you gain from it? Definitely not respect. And please, quit dragging the name of GOD around..
Then there's this other kind who likes to give hinted insults. What the heck is wrong with you? If you don't like me, just go away. I won't care. I won't even realize.
You don't understand: Why do I like my guy? Why do I stay with him? Why do I look sad all the time? Why do I? Why am I? Why not this? Why? Why?

'Cause you don't know what I know >>

There's no Prince Charming or knight in shining armor, but the Princesses in my fairytale can all fight for themselves.

" 'Cos your greed sold me out of shame.."
--Christina A.

what a pathetic person he who thinks money can buy everything
equally sad, if not sadder, he who thinks money can give him rights to do everything

You can always hurt yourself in silence.

Just a random thought that crossed through my mind this morning as I listened to the lecture of "the uses of money" (or something like that. Do we really need a teaching on that?).

1. Being in silence for too long can hurt you.
Everybody knows: loneliness kills. Now, don't confuse 'alone' with 'lonely'. Being in silence definitely talks about being lonely, not about being on your own. So, DO NOT GET ACQUAINTED FOR TOO LONG WITH SILENCE.

2. Hurt yourself (only) when noone is looking.
This is the ironic side of the theory --and the one that I first thought of. I know certain angry people that "release" their anger by hurting themselves.. in front of everyone. So that everyone would know how angry hurting s/he is.
But the saddest of all is those who are hurting themselves behind everyone's back.
They look so alright on the outside; nobody could even guess something wrong is going on. But they are hurting themselves, mentally or physically, or both.. when noone's looking.

'Oly ceet..

"So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you,
for this sums up the Law and the Prophets."
Matthew 7:12

I'm not sure how to start this post... This one is going to be a sensitive topic. But I know I have to -need to- address it.
So, how many of you are atheist? Hands up?
How many of you despise the so-called religious people? Hands up?

And, how many of you are the people who believe in God? Particularly, Christ?
Right now, I'm surrounded by few so-called devout (fanatic, I call it) Catholics and Christians. I'm trying to recall what did Jesus say about connecting with people around us... be humble.. love you enemy.. serve others...
Although I'm not an expert in the Bible, as long as I can remember, Jesus always taught us to put others before ourselves. Be it about happiness or needs, ALWAYS think about others first. It's a different cases that I see and experience these days..

Let's go in details.
One friend of mine is a fanatic Catholic (pardon me I have to mention the religion). She talks about God, sing gospel loudly everywhere, talks about church activities, etc, etc.
But all that she ever talk about is herself: how she grew up, what she likes, her "talent", her, her, her. And the language she uses --I just can't stand it *pull hair*, rough language and sometimes, cursing words. And one particular thing that I hate, she's parodying to everyone whenever she's fasting. Really, should we advertise it as well in newspaper?

Then there's the other one, this one is a Christian. And this one is slightly worse, she bothers me much (that's why I mentioned her, otherwise, who cares..).
She lets everyone know she's a Christian by telling people how God bless her with this and that. But then, she isn't genuinely grateful for things she has. She complains A LOT; she thinks that she is the victim of life and that this universe is and should be orbiting around her. Seriously, lady, what was the ultimate thing that Jesus taught us? SACRIFICE. And be silent about it.

Did He complain when He had to come down to earth?
"To earth?! Father, you must be kidding me. Fine, fine! I'll go down. See how big-hearted I am, going down to that filthy earth to socialize with those filthy humans. Ew!"
And when He's resurrected...
"Geez, that was hurt! Now everyone, YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER WHAT I'VE DONE TO YOU OR ELSE!"
Then, 2000 years later...
*coming to many random people* "Human, Jesus here. You know what have I done for you? YOU DON'T?! Your parents didn't tell you about it?! It was troublesome and tedious, you know. How could they did not tell you about my sacrifice!"

Errr, no, I don't think Jesus said that or would He ever do..
Now, if only we can just forget about religion and the symbolic things (go to church, fasting, confession, etc) and start to imitate Jesus: His humility, His compassion, His LOVE.
Life will be much easier for ourselves and for others..