~Audi alteram partem~

You know your part of the story. Now hear the other side.
Cos everyone just want to be heard

Tying the knot is suffocating

SotD: Underappreciated by Christina Aguilera.

Actually, I want this title to be the title of the book that I will write in the future. But 'future' is a a faraway place.
So here, I'll give you, few lucky people, a sneak peek to my future book.

When I was younger (well, I'm still young *ahem*), I made a promise to myself that I won't get married. I told that to a few close friends who quickly exclaimed "WHY NOT?!" As usual, secret spreads fast. So soon enough, most of my classmates knew about it (can't help it, I was so popular *cough*). And they all exclaimed "WHY NOT?!" Usually, I would answer, 'why should I?' But they wouldn't take that for an answer. That's how the idea of writing the book come about.

I started to list to myself all the reasons why I don't want to get married. I surprised myself: there are so many reasons. As this is a sneak peek, I'll only tell you one of the reasons (anyway, it'd be too long if I tell you everything and you won't read till the end): I don't believe in marriage.
Come on, who are we kidding? Why do people these days get married? Ask that to Westerners, they'd say, "cos we love each other". What's love? They'll stare at you blankly.
Ask that to Asians, they'd say, "cos we have to, if not, the family line won't go on". Now I'm the one who stare at them blankly.

Marriage should be a commitment. But what a does commitment mean when they can break it by divorce? It's only make the commitment more expensive. And worse when they already have kid(s). They stay together because they have to, not because they want to. It's a thing I hate to do, those must-do things. Well, when the arranged marriages were a trend, the couple had to stay together. But then, they accept it and they learn to love each other. Or at least, they learn to accept each other.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying this because I keep meeting horrible guys. I have one faboulous boyfriend, one wise god-brother or two, and a couple of great guy friends. But still, I don't believe in marriage. If we can keep our love strong for a lifetime, we don't need a label titled 'marriage' to stick us together.

If you still don't understand the whole thing I'm saying, this reason is described just right by 'Underappreciated', a song by Christina Aguilera (oh Christina.. still my hero). Old song, but in a way reminds me (still) why i don't want to get married.
Oh, the reason is also pictured nicely by the movie '500 Days of Summer', from Summer's perspective.

"Eagles fly alone." -AtG


OK here comes your #1 commentator, ready or not.

Let's start with.. "How dare You to put (500) Days of Summer into this?!?"
That'll make a good start. That fickle-minded Summer got married in the end, yes? I'd like to think that most of us are just like Summer, we're pretty much clueless of what's going on, but we'll know when it's the time. (Warning: we're confused half of the time).

the good news is: no one can stop you to not to get knotted, since you are blessed with "the joy of the child" (it's a compliment, not a sarcasm).

I'm not against your view neither do i support marriage (but i reserve my rights to despise the "cos we have to, if not, the family line won't go on" statement). I just want you to admit that there's a good side in marriage as well, as much as the bad side. The fun part is, everyone have different weighing scale; let's ignore those pukers and put the focus on you here.

In the end, thanks for the wonderful sharing. I honestly think that the title is brilliant. i only hope that there won't be too many innocent women out there brainwashed by your book with that expressive persuasion of yours (if that happens, i'll have a real hard time to con one woman to marry me).

This post reminds me of exactly one thing. Allow me to drop a link here to close my remarks: http://life-backpacker.blogspot.com/2009/05/amour-le-ami.html


pardom me for the time I took to answer your comment. I have to choose my words carefully (or they could be my last ones XD).

yeah, that Summer married in the end. but guess what, there are many Summers out there who do the exact same thing, just because they are afraid of being along or that noone would take care of them when they're old. refer to the moral of the story from 'joy of a child', please..

I might not be knotted, but I might get attached for a long time ;)

of course, there are always two sides of everything. but sometimes, for some things, one side is much bigger than the other.
just for a laugh, there's a quote: 100% divorce started with marriage.
let's not be another number in the stats.

it's my pleasure to share my negative thoughts.
when I'm done writing the draft for the book, you'll be the first one to read it. you know, as usual, be my editor.
I read that post of yours. but thank you for sharing with the others as well.


okay.. these are my last words (damn.)

you might want to rethink your decision to sit me on the editorial hot seat. I charge 15% of the royalty, and my main competence is to insert the F-word, the S-word, altogether with the H-word and sometime T-word. you know where to find me if you need me.


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