~Audi alteram partem~

You know your part of the story. Now hear the other side.
Cos everyone just want to be heard

Welcome home. Your 8-day survival begins now.

Dim light. Small square. Sleepless nights. Charging mosquitoes. Sweltering air. Hostile begetter. False conviction.
Welcome home.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
What doesn't makes you stronger makes you crazy.
"You cut me deep and the pain is all I want to feel..."

22 Dec 2008

The Bottom Line

Your sparkling charm can help you connect with a shy or introverted person today.

In Detail

Your sparkling charm can work wonders today -- it can transform a blue friend into a sunny and happy friend, help you connect with a shy or introverted person, and even tame a blustering bully. You turn them into a tame kitty cat! All you have to do is flash a smile and toss a compliment someone's way and the magic will begin! This is a great time in your life to expand your social circle and try to connect with the people you normally would not think of approaching.
It may feel as if the party is over, but the Sun's last day in your sign could stimulate a burst of willful energy. You might wonder how you became so enthusiastic about an idea that wasn't all that important to you at first. But your involvement grew, as did the vision. Now you must face the necessity of radically rethinking your entire life. It's up to you to reinvent your dream and then do your best to live it.

Another thing to kick off the boredomingitis

A - Accidents:
01. Have you ever been in a car accident?
Just a minor one, yes.
02. Do you have a lot of scars?
Few, I was a naughty kid.
03. Have you ever been in a fist fight with someone?
*lol* Yes, long time ago, when I was in kindergarten.
04. Have you ever seriously hurt anyone by mistake?
Physically or mentally? Physicaly, nope. Mentally, er, I don't know.
05. Have you ever had stitches? No, thank God!

B - Beauty:
06. Do you consider yourself beautiful?
Well, I like what I see in the mirror :)
07. Are you self conscious of how you look?
Just when I'm nervous
08. Do you put on a lot of make-up?
No, not really good at it.
09. Would you ever consider getting plastic surgery?
I actually did, but I wouldn't really do it.
10. What do you think makes a person beautiful?
One's character.

C - Consequences:
11. What was the longest amount of time you've been grounded for?
Erm, like, 10 years? (okay, that's just an inside joke)
12. What would you do if you got pregnant, keep it or have an abortion?
I would totally keep it. I'm not brave enough to kill someone.
13. Do you ever think about how your actions affect other people?
Most of the time I do.
14. What do you think is the worst punishment someone could give you?
Imprisonment --not just physically.
15. What is one thing you wish you didn't do, just because it wasn't worth it in the end?
Trying to keep a certain friendships.

D - Dealing:
16. When you are mad at someone, how do you show them?
I don't talk to the person I'm angry at, for some time.
17. Name a time when you had to be strong?
When my mom died.
18. Have you ever dealt with a divorce or parents fighting?
Figthing, yes, dozens of time.
19. When people at school don't accept you, or have problems with you, how do you react?
Don't give a damn :p Well, actually I'll try to find out why they don't accept me/have problems with me. And if the fault is really with me, then I'll change.
20. Have you ever lost someone to death?
Didn't I just mention it?

E - Experience:
21. Have you ever had a job?
Yes, once. Twice if you count my job as a student :D
22. Do you think that you are sexually experienced, or not at all?
*lol* Not in practise.
23. Have you gone through a lot emotionally, or has life been easy thus far?
I've been throught a lot (hasn't everyone?). But what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?
24. Do you think you are ready to be on your own (have your own home, job, etc.)?
Not now, I'm bad at paying the bills :p
25. How old do you act?
I've been told I act way older than my age.

F - Family:
26. Is there anyone in your family you don't talk to?
Yes, but just because they live too far.
27. If you had to choose, family or friends?
This is going to sound cruel, but, if I really have to, I'd choose friends.
28. Can you tell your parents or one of your parents anything?
No, it's dangerous :D
29. Do you have any siblings?
Of course, one older brother and one younger sister.
30. How often do you spend 'quality time' with family members?
Not as often as I want to.

G - Growing:
31. How tall are you? How tall do you wish you were?
I'm 157 cm, always wish I was 160 or more. But ah, we learn to accept ourselves...
32. Do you think that you have grown more in the past year than any year before that?
Yes, completely. The past year has been a dramatic change for me.
33. As a person, do you think you are mature for your age or still act childish?
I'm mature for most problems. Just when I'm having fun I'm childish :D
34. Are you scared to think that one day you will turn 30, then 40, then 50?
Yes, been worrying about that.
35. Do you believe you still have a lot to learn?
Of course, there are so many things we have to learn in this life.

H - Hope:
36. Love - real or not?
Real, but not many people are lucky enough to find it.
37. Are you a pessimist or an optimist?
Barely an optimist :)
38. Do you believe in fate, that everything happens for a reason, or do you think that our actions lead the way?
It's a combination of both.
39. Do you think that after we die our spirit is still alive?
Yes, death is not the end.
40. What gives you hope when you just feel like dying?
To say honestly, nothing. But now I try to believe that I was born for a purpose.

I - Issues:
41. Do you suffer from depression or constant sadness/loneliness?
Did, but not anymore.
42. Do you have any type of disease or disability?
Disability --does disability to trust count? ;)
43. Are you currently in a hard relationship or have bad luck with the opposite sex?
*lol* have been in real bad luck.
44. Do you think that you are alone in this world?
No, I have my great friends all around me.
45. How often do you think about death, suicide or running away?
Suicide..been over that since a long time. Death..I think about it all the time, cos it's so mysterious. Running away..I'm an escapist :)

J - Jokes:
46. Are you usually the one making people laugh, or the other way around?
Both at the same amount.
47. Do you cry when you laugh hard?
Yes, but very seldom.
49. Do you ever get in trouble for laughing or talking a lot during class?
When I was in elementary school, yes. I was talkative.

K - Knowledge:
50. The purpose of school?
Learn everything academic, learn to handle backstabbers and bootlickers. Learn to make friends and vanquish enemies.
51. Do people refer to you as smart, dumb, or average?
They say I'm smart. I say thank you for the compliment.
52. What was the highest grade you have received (full course mark)?
Perfect score, for my favorite subject.
53. What was your last average?
Huh? I AM average.
54. What do you find the most interesting subject to be (to study or to talk about)?
Art and language.

L - Love:
55. Are you currently in love?
Now, I'd be very careful to use the word 'love'. But I am crushing on someone.
56. Do people around you show you a lot of love (tell you they love you, hug you, kiss you, etc.)?
No, I live in a culture that we seldom show out our love.
57. Is love worth it?
Yes. But not the common love we know these days.
58. Do you hate it when young teenagers say they 'love' someone that they've been dating for a few months?
Yes, they don't seem to really know what love is. They confuse love with like, or even crush.
59. Does it take a lot for you to say you love someone, or is it just a word?
It takes a lot. When I tell someone I love them, I really really really mean it.

M - Money:
60. Do you believe that money makes the world go round?
Yes, love has retire from the job.
61. Is your family on the poor side, average, or above average when it comes to money?
Well, we're not rich, but we can afford everything that we want. That's average, right? :p
62. Are you saving up for college/university, or planning to?
Planning to. I am in college, but I'm planning to transfer to another city. So, yeah...
63. Would you rather win millions of dollars and be set for life, or find the perfect person to marry and start a family with?
Tought choice, but I'll pick the first one (cos then I can still do the second one late in life!)
64. On a scale of 1-10, how important is money to you? 7

N - Naughty:
65. Are you a virgin?
66. Do you think about doing sexual things with someone you're not going out with?
Ng...yes *grin*
67. Do you know anybody you consider a slut?
Yes, I do. I even heard them said it in my face.
68. If you could, would you erase some things you did in the past or make it so you did more?
What did I do in the past? *smile sheepisly* Well, I'll change nothing from the past. Every little things in my past is the ones that make me who I am.
69. Do you consider yourself more nice or more naughty?
The perfect combination of both :D

O - Openness:
70. How long does it take for you to open up to someone?
I amaze myself, but it can take very long.
71. What does it take for you to fully trust someone?
When in certain cases I see the proof of what s/he said is true.
72. Are you generally untrusting towards people because of past experiences, or any other reason?
Yes, I think there are many "unforgotten pasts" that make me difficult to trust people (esp. men, may I add).
73. When are you comfortable with someone sexually?
No, not at all. I'm having disorder.
74. When it comes to parents and close friends, what's the limit of what you can tell them?
Very limited. Everything I say can and will be used against me.

P - Positive:
75. Have you ever had an experience with someone that didn't necessarily end positively?
Seriously, too many to mention.
76. Do you agree with the saying: better to have loved and lost than not have loved at all?
Yes, love is a wonderful thing to learn, no matter what.
77. Are you more optimistic or pessimistic?
Optimistic. I'm a Sagittarius! *lol*
78. Do you agree that something good can come out of everything?
Yes, that's why I get cheated many times... -_-
79. Have you ever had a time where something really bad happened, but something really good happened because of it?
Uh, I can't remember anything like that.

Q - Questions:
80. When faced with a problem, do you ask for help or try to figure it out yourself?
I try to figure it out myself. But when it becomes worse, which is often, then I seek help :p
81. Do you often question the world and how we came about?
Yes, really often.
82. Do you think the government is truthful?
Nope, they only let us know what they want us to know, nothing more.
83. When someone does something wrong to you, do you confront them and ask them why they did it or just let it go?
Just let it go.
84. What is one unsolved mystery about the world that you want answers to?
Why did he leave?

R - Respect:
85. How do you show respect?
By not laughing at someone and/or insulting him/her.
86. What can someone do for you to lose all respect for them?
Being hypocrite. Oh, liars are also annoying.
87. Do you respect your teachers, parents, and other authority figures?
Not ALL of them.
88. When you are disrespectful to your parents, what is the punishment?
Fired as their child. No, I'm just kidding. It's quite vague, scoldings, I guess?
89. If someone is mean to you, are you mean back or do you kill them with kindness?
Kill them with kindness. It never fail to embarrass them.

S - School:
90. If you are still in school, what grade will you be going into?
I'm in college, will start my second semester soon.
91. When will you graduate high school/college?
August 2011 (College), 2006 (High School)
92. After high school, what did you do/are you planning to do?
Go straight to college. But life was planning different thing.
93. Do you like or hate school? What do you like/hate about it?
I generally hate school. I was miserable there. But I like it cos I can have friends.
94. Have you ever been suspended, expelled, or dropped out of school?
Not ever. I'm such a nice girl *lol*

T - Temptation:
95. Have you ever done something wrong, knowing it was wrong, because something inside of you said it was okay?
Yes, falling in love.
96. Has anyone ever pressured you to smoke or drink?
No, only offering me.
97. Did you ever cheat on someone?
I didn't even ever get a chance to have a boyfriend to cheat on in the first place.
98. Did you ever want to do something sexual with someone you didn't really know or love?
Yes, but 'want to' is as far as I got.
99. Do you give in to temptation easily, or are you more independent and strong willed?
Depends on the temptation. If it affects many people, I'm strong-willed. If it just affect me, I'll give in right away :D

U - Unique:
100. Would you rather blend in with the crowd or stand out?
Of course stand out. Even if it means being weird.
101. Do you do a lot of things because your friends are doing it?
Not at all. It has to be something that interest me.
102. Do you follow trends, wear whatever you want, or wear really unique pieces?
Whatever I want to wear, depends on my mood.
103. Do you give in easily to peer pressure?
Sometimes I do.
104. What makes you different from people your age?
I'm thinking way too old? As if I'm already 40 year-old.

V - Value:
105. What's the most expensive thing in your room? - My dear laptop.
106. Would you sacrifice your life for other people?
107. What is something you value not because it costs a lot, but because it means a lot to you?
My old handphone. Cos it has many notes, smses, etc from long time ago.
108. If there was a fire in your house/apartment, what is the one thing you would want to save?
My laptop and important documents, and letters from my pen pal.
109. Do you think past memories and experiences are more valuable than what could happen?
Both have their own values. But I do learn more from the past.

W - Wishes:
110. If you had three wishes, what would they be?
I only have two: erase all the sins of mankind, end the world NOW.
111. Would you rather wish yourself to be happy, or your loved ones?
Selfish as it might sound, I wish myself to be happy. Enough happiness for "my loved ones".
112. Do you believe that wishes come true if you really believe in them?
Yes, I do. But hard work along the way won't hurt.
113. Have you ever had a wish come true?
Yes, of course!
114. Do you find wishing for things a waste of time because everything that's meant to happen, will happen?
No, wish hard for something will make it real.

X - Xanga:
115. Do you know what Xanga means?
The online blogging site?

Y - You:
116. Are you more independent or social?
How is it contradictory? I'm independent AND social.
117. What is something that makes you very mad when you see it?
Abusers: drug abuser, alcohol abuser, abusive father/husband.
118. Do you think that you have potential to do great things?
Great things in my own way, yes :D
119. What kind of person would you be if you didn't have guidance from family members, God, teachers, etc.?
I'll be nothing without God. I won't even be here at all.
120. Do you think people are generally good?
Yes. It's the circumstances that makes us bad.

Z - Zest:
121. Are you currently happy with your life? Why or why not?
Yes, completely happy. These days are the days I've been waiting for.
122. Are you more outgoing, ready for anything, or boring and shy?
Outgoing on the surface ;)
123. When change occurs, do you get scared or are you excited for it?
Excited. Life would be boring without change.
124. Do you like to try new things, meet new people?
Totally do :)


Name:Eva Berlin Fransiskus
Birthdate:04 December 1987
Birthplace:Semarang, Central of Java
Current Location:Singapore
Eye Color:Dark Brown
Hair Color:Recently Dark Brown
Height:157 cm
Weight:51 kg
Tatoos:None yet
Overused Phraze:"You know.."
Food:Fried Rice
Candy:Don't really like candies
Drink:Plain water, fruit juices
Alcohol Drink:erm, does wine count?
Body Part on Opposite sex:Eyes
This or That
Pepsi or Coke:Pepsi
McDonalds or BurgerKing:McDonalds
Strawberry or Watermelon:Watermelon
Hot tea or Ice tea:Depends on the weather
Chocolate or VanillaChocolate
Hot Chocolate or Coffee:Coffee!
Kiss or Hug:Hug
Dog or Cat:Dog
Rap or Punk:Punk
Summer or Winter:Winter
Scary Movies or Funny Movies:Scary, please.
Love or Money:errrrrmmmmmm.....
Bedtime:Around 11 pm-12 am
Most Missed Memory:Last year of high school
Best phyiscal feature:Lips
First Thought Waking Up:"What day is it?"
Goal for this year:Be very busy
Best Friends:Many
Fears:That people know my fears :p
Heritage:Many, really
Longest relationship:Which relationship?
Ever Drank:Yupe
Ever been Drunk:Yes :p
Ever been beaten up:Of course -_-
Ever beaten someone up:Eh, not really
Ever Shoplifted:Yes
Ever Skinny Dipped:Nope
Ever Kissed Opposite sex:No
Been Dumped Lately:No
Favorite Eye Color:Blue
Favorite Hair Color:Brown
Short or Long:You mean hair or thoughts? *lol* Long for both questions, though.
Looks or Personality:A little bit of both, please? :p
Hot or CutePreferably cute
Drugs and Alcohol:If I have to choose, drugs
Muscular or Really Skinny:Just medium
Number of Regrets in the Past:Too many
What country do you want to Visit:Egypt, China, Ireland, USA, and many more
How do you want to Die:Being killed
Been to the Mall Lately:Yes
Do you like Thunderstorms:Yes
Get along with your Parents:Not really
Health Freak:In a way, yes
Do you think your Attractive:Ugh, I hope so
Believe in Yourself:I have to
Want to go to College:I already am
Do you Smoke:Nope
Do you Drink:Ocassionaly
Shower Daily:Of course! Geez...
Been in Love:Definitely...
Do you Sing:Only when noone's around
Want to get Married:NOT
Do you want Children:Yes :)
Have your future kids names planned out:Yes
Age you wanna lose your Virginity:Erm....
Hate anyone:Yes..



Twilight Stephanie Meyer
Just finished readying the much-hyped book of Twilight. I wasn't so interested in it, but since everyone's talking about it, I feel like it's my responsibility to read what's so interesting about it. Can't say I was impressed, just another book for teenagers. However, I give credit to the author for the effort. The way Meyer deliver her story is appealing, just enough humor here and there.

It does make us fall in love with love. With all the sickening thick coating of romanticism cream, too thick for my preference, I can't taste the real cake inside.

But it also makes me wonder: Do you think, honestly, that such love still exists in this world? No man -or woman, in this matter- has that much time for his other half anymore, no? Not many people have enough time even from themselves anymore.
And someone care for your safety more than for his own? Ahem.. I'm skeptical.

It is more believable that vampires exist than such love do.
Is imagination always much more beautiful than reality? Or perhaps, most of the time love does feel that way, only we are not poetic enough to put it into words?

"The glory of first love, and all that. It's incredible, isn't it, the difference between reading about something, seeing it in the pictures, and experiencing it?" -Edward.
After all has been said and done, are you really happy where you are?


Really really want (gonna get one of these days):
((given by a friend :) thanks!))

Just admiring (MAYBE going to get it in the far future):

Happy freaking birthday to me

Of course -I got a feeling- this year's birthday not as half as miserable as yesteryear's, but I don't know why I've been feeling moody these few days. I had a tiff with my longest best friend few days back. And since some days ago, people -PEOPLE- have been texting me with "happy advance birthday". I was like "what the...." But of course, for the sake of courtesy, I just said thank you, thank you for remembering anyway (I mean, what else could I ask of? What more do I deserve?).

The only thing (okay, not really THE ONLY) that cheer me up, is Christina Aguilera. That's right, the girl's back with a new album! Well, a greatest hits album, actually. But there are four new songs (or more like songs-sequel), and they are awesome! She still knows who she is, and proud of it!
The transformation between Hollywood Glam to Futuristic Babe is just cute.

For those who keeps saying Christina is a talentless bitch, HELLO? WAKE UP! Learn some music first! Then listen to Paris Hilton. And you can decide what a talentless bitch sounds like. Everybody agrees that Christina Aguilera is a precious jewel in music industry. Watch this and tell me if Britney, or even Miley Cyrus *roll eyes* able to deliver such live performance. Christina does no lip-sync, she'll let you know if she does, which only happen when she dances cos she's not a dancer, she's a musician.

Anyway, it's just great to listen to Christina songs and be reminded: "You are beautiful, no matter what they say. Words can't bring you down."

There's some women out there who talk and stare
Who never seem to let down their hair
Like to past judgement, but they're just scared
Shut up I don't care what you say.
Some days I'm a super bitch, next day I'm your super girl.

So yeah, I'm going to continue this post in few hours. See if there's any change in my day...


And so I've finished watching Jumper today, after a few weeks credit-watching. Cinematography-wise, the film is cool. It has a vivid storyline in it and the cinematography is just awesome. Not to mention the editing --the editors must have had real tough time. It has got to win at least one Oscar in the coming year.

But looking through a commoner spectacle, the movie is weird.. The song 'Oops I Did It Again' by Britney Spears keeps ringing in my head while I was watching. Not the entire song, just the bit when it said 'I'm dreaming away; Wishing that heroes, they truly exist'.
Especially "I told you I'm different" part.Cos it just funny how in films the main character would be heroes, saving the world and being different from, uh, the same kind and would fight to the death for the girl he loves. Gosh, that reminds me why I hate romance stories and movies.
Do you honestly sincerely wants me to believe that a guy would be willing to put himself in a miserable death to save the girl he love?

Yeah, it's a fiction anyway. There's no JUMPER in the first place. Oh, one thing I would believe, though: anyone, be it a girl or a guy, would gladly fight with his/her best friend just for his/her girl/guy. I know it first hand; it sucks.

No wonder Shakespeare said "You call it stupid, I call it love." Well, I'd say "You call it love, I call it mental disorder."

EOCI obsession