One of the happiest days of my life...

Gues what! I took part in audition of BTI [Bintang Tionghua Indonesia (Indonesia Chinese Star --sound weird in English *lol*) that is], and... I passed! Well, only to the semifinal, but that is sooo good already.
There were 4 judges in the audition; 2 men and 2 women. They asked us [the participants] to do expression of gladness, anger, sadness, and happiness. Yeah, at first I was confused too, what's the different between gladness and happiness. Then I understood -watching the other participants before me- that gladness is like when you smiling at something funny, but happiness is like when you win 1-million-dollars lottery. So I did the expressions, to my surprise, the judges said my 'sadness' was not obvious. I thought the only expression I'm good at is sadness. So one of the judges wanted me to act out some kind of scene: where my mother had already died, and I cried "please don't leave me...!" Oh yeah, that is so oh-what-a-coincidence. My mom HAD already died [but of course I didn't tell the judges that or otherwise they would've changed the 'scene']. And do you realize what the weirdest thing is? That is exactly what I said when my mother passed away: Mom, please don't leave me...!

Anyway, so I started to act... and I started to cry -real one. My voice became shaky and there were tears.. The judges were so impressed *lol*. But judge number one said "It's easy to shed tears in acting, but I can see your face still smiling". I was like "...what?!" Well, it's good though. It's all good. Haha..so I'm going to the semifinal on 19th. Oh, before that, my best mate Rosiana will have the audition on 15th. So I have to come to give her some support.

You know, what makes me happy passing this audition is not that I believe I will [or hoping to] get the part [read: becoming an actress], not at all, I know I'm sooo far from that. But passing this become some kind of...self proving. That "hey, I can act too". That finally at the very least, there's something I can do that some people appreciate. Besides, I took part for the experience, and I know I'll get so much from this.
Ugh, and you know what, the female judges said I'm beautiful [thank you!]. And Rosiana said she can't believe that I can did that, confidently. All she knew was the geeky shy Eva Berlin. Well people I'm overdue, give me some room, I'm coming through.

*lol* I'm glad I'm so much better than me years ago. I really have to thank my God, Jesus Christ. Selamat -my other best mate- was right, I really have to turn to God in everything :-)