“There are five possible operations for any army.
If you can fight, fight. If you cannot fight, defend.
If you cannot defend, surrender.
If you cannot surrender, flee. If you cannot flee, die.”
- Sima Yi
“There are five possible operations for any army.
If you can fight, fight. If you cannot fight, defend.
If you cannot defend, surrender.
If you cannot surrender, flee. If you cannot flee, die.”
The INFJ is the rarest of the 16 Myers-Briggs personality types. People who identify as INFJs are deeply complex individuals.
Bad news, though, INFJs are borderline psychopaths. So I guess it's good that there are so few of us. |
They’re like onions — they have many layers. The more you get to know them, the more layers you’ll discover, all the while moving further inward toward the core of their true self. They may not show all the aspects of their personality to the world, instead keeping some parts hidden for only a chosen few people they trust.
So what are some of the less obvious aspects of the INFJ personality?
1. INFJs feel profoundly misunderstood. INFJs have a unique outlook on life. Because of their dominant function, introverted intuition, they often know information without knowing how or why they know it.
This unique ability, which is the primary way the INFJ functions in the world, can be difficult to explain to other people, says personality profiler Antonia Dodge, who co-owns Personality Hacker. Often INFJs give up trying to explain their ability (or don’t try at all, because they know how unusual it sounds), which leaves them feeling isolated and misunderstood.
2. INFJs absorb other people’s emotions. No other Myers-Briggs personality type has this unique ability. Some INFJs even report absorbing the emotions of strangers, says Dodge. An INFJ suddenly may feel grumpy, only to look around the room and discover a grumpy-looking person has just walked in. The closer the relationship to the INFJ, like a spouse or best friend, the more likely it is that the INFJ will absorb that person’s emotions and mental state.
This can be overwhelming to the INFJ at times, but this ability also can be used to bring emotional healing and comfort to others. “The ability to unconsciously absorb other people’s emotions with very little information to go on — how is that not a super power?” says Dodge. “They have the ability to get inside the suffering of others and tell them it’s going to be OK.”
3. INFJs have amazing long-range forecasting abilities. Their introverted intuition function makes them future-oriented. When they meet someone new, they often can predict where the relationship will go, says Joel Mark Witt, co-owner with Dodge of Personality Hacker. “They’ll often cut themselves off from having casual relationships,” says Witt, if they don’t think that the relationship is going to bring the desired outcome.
4. Even though they are “feelers,” INFJs can easily access their “thinking” ability. In fact, INFJs often mistype as “thinkers.” Although they are people-oriented, they may see themselves as analytical and scientific, and they may enjoy careers such as computer programing or accounting. Because their “feeling” process is second in their functional stack and their “thinking” process is third, those two processes are more balanced than those of dominant feelers such as ENFJs, who lead with their “feeling” process.
5. One of their greatest strengths is their ability to create intimacy with other people. Despite sometimes appearing quiet and reserved to casual acquaintances, INFJs are actually extremely relational. Because they can feel other people’s pain and joy, they are able to truly walk in another person’s shoes, like no other personality type can. This ability to empathize creates strong bonds of intimacy, says Dodge.
6. INFJs are truly introverts. When they feel comfortable around a person, or if they’re fighting for a cause in which they truly believe, INFJs can be mistaken for extroverts. Yet INFJs are true introverts who prefer to have a small social circle, and they require plenty of downtime alone to recharge their “introvert batteries.”
7. INFJs are sensitive. INFJs seek harmony in their relationships, so anytime conflict arises — especially in close relationships — INFJs can become very bothered and lose focus. They may feel the stress and tension of conflict physically in their bodies. They often take criticism personally.
8. INFJs know a lot about other people. Not even they know how they know so much, nor will they reveal the depth of their knowledge, says Dodge.
9. Many relationships are one-sided for INFJs. Nicknamed “the counselor” personality type, the INFJ is a skilled active listener who truly cares about other people and helping them with their problems. Unfortunately, this results in many of the INFJ’s relationships becoming one-sided. What INFJs really desire, says Witt, is for other people to return the favor of taking the time to listen to them and truly understand them.
10. INFJs are looking for their soul mates. These are friends or a significant other with whom INFJs connect deeply. Because of their introversion, their unique outlook on life, and their desire for authentic relationships, INFJs may struggle to create the kind of relationships they desire. When they do find people with whom they truly connect, it feels almost miraculous.
"I feel as if a link exists between your heart and mine, and should that link be broken, either by distance or by time, then my heart would cease to beat and I would die." |