"I'm just broke, not broken."

Another trough in my life... It's a long story, I don't even want to talk about it *wave hand*
But every time I want to give up, every time I think 'I can't take this anymore..' the Archer in me always rise and say 'It's okay. We're going to get through this. Let's aim high and we'll reach there. You and me, together.' Yup, just her and me, no one else. Cos everybody else leaves. Well, everyone but one: My Lord.

"They still can't hold us down, Adeline!"

Yesterday, I had to go accompany a friend slash "colleague" in the search of sponsors for our upcoming Indonesian Students event. While we're in the bus, he asked me where I come from, then I said Batam Island. Then he asked me where my senior high school was, I said in Batam Island. He reacted, "No, I mean, the name of the high school." I replied, "Yos sudarso." And he gave me an astonished look. He's from Jakarta, but he happens to know a lot of the island I come from. For your information, Yos Sudarso is an ordinary high school. It was once the highest-ranking high school in Batam, but still, it's the ordinary one. Not the type of school for the rich guys or anything.
Then this friend of mine said: You're not from some international school?
I said, "Nope." Again, the astonished look.
It happened before --so many times before.

Once, it was my English teacher (the current one). She thought I was from Jakarta or another big city and/or had study in International school, cos -she thinks- I speak English so fluently (which I seriously don't think so).
Another time was my other friend. He thought I must've studied in another COUNTRY before. Not only cos of my English, but also cos of my way of thinking.
Well, those things confuse me.
It's always amazed me that the fact amazes people: that this "island girl" is whole lot more than just an island girl.
'What's with "island girl"?' You might wonder. In Indonesian language (or is it the culture?) it doesn't mean so nice, its connotative with negative meaning.

But it's okay, it's quite flattering anyway. Here's "island girl" that breaks all the definition of the term ^^

Welcome to the universe.

The Bottom Line

Your quiet little romance is going to get a lot of attention soon. Are you ready?

In Detail

You can't keep a good secret right now -- your quiet little romance is going to get a lot of attention very soon. Are you ready for the scrutiny? Suddenly everyone wants to know what's going on between the two of you, what's next and where this thing is going -- and you might not even know the answers! Feel free to take a step back and protect your privacy. Your life is no one's business but your own. Friends won't be put off if you clam up --they will understand.

Days With My Father

by Phillip Toledano

"Ring, ring! Who's there?
Destiny! I've been waiting for your call."

- Rhino

Soar

Soundtrack of the day: Soar by Christina Aguilera

So, yesterday I was talking about things that I've been thinking about (and things that I want to do). One of them keeps bugging me, and I'm the kind of person who, when think too much, will get sick --literally. So I think I'll write it down here, just to share it with everyone, perhaps to get a reply of what anyone else think (and I need to get if off my chest!).

Some things can only explained through melodic rhyming words.
Some things don't even have words to represent them.
But I'll try with my wits' best for this case.
It's about relationships: marriage, lovers, you get the picture. But particularly, as the case in Christina's song:

The boy who wonders is he good enough for them
He's tryin' to please 'em all but he just never seems to fit in
Then there's the girl who thinks she'll never ever be good enough for him
She's tryin' to change and that's a game she'll never win

Uh-huh. So it's all started because there's this someone I like right now. I think he's smart and handsome and independent and...oh, the list goes on. But day after day I observe him, he seems sad. Like, there's something hurtful about his past that he just won't let go. But, probably it's just my imagination.

Anyway, I always drown in fantasy that wouldn't it be great if I can make him my prince charming and this be my fairytale? He seems so perfect --at least for now.
That's one of the problems too, though. He's too perfect: handsome, smart, rich, hardworking. Why would he want to be with me? He has this long road of success ahead of him, with people throwing him flowers along the way.

I ridiculously entertain the thoughts that he does like me back, from the "friendly" way he talks to me and all. But, everybody knows that he is the friendly sort of guy (a huge successful-person-to-be, hello?) and who knows how "friendly" he gets with the other girls? You'll be able to see how those girls flock around him like hungry fish when food is thrown at them.

Back to the issue, since I really really like him, is it worth it to get his attention? It is the problem with me, too, since I'm more to career-minded, I always believe that it's not worth it to waste your time patching love story.

But this time...for once, I started to doubt what I've believe in for so long.
On one side, it seems beautiful to have a relationship. "Someone to have and hold" they say, to share your thoughts, happiness and sadness. Someone you can always call immediately when you get good grades, did an impressive presentation, or when you're sad or sick.

But on the other side, I just can't stand the hurt should he one day change his feelings (in my opinion, guys do change too fast, too often). And not to mention if our parents disagree on our relationship. OR if he, himself, is career-minded and decides that it's not worth his time having relationship with ME *gasp*

There you have it, I've put it out my head. I just wish that I have a mom or a best friend or whoever to talk to about things like this. Sadly, I have none.
Even though it's a different issue (but on the same topic), I just want to close this post with a line from Westlife's song

"If you've got somethin' to tell me, don't keep it inside. Let it be heard."