"It was raining, but there was no rainbow.."
-And1

Who am I?

Who am I? That the Lord of all the earth, would care to know my name, would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I? That the bright and morning star, would choose to light the way, for my ever wandering heart.
Bridge: Not because of who I am, but because of what you've done. Not because of what I've done, but because of who you are.
Chorus: I am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow. A wave tossed in the ocean, a vapor in the wind. Still you hear me when I'm calling. Lord, you catch me when I'm falling, and you've told me who I am.
I am yours. I am yours.
Who am I? That the eyes that see my sin would look on me with love and watch me rise again.
Who am I? That the voice that calmed the sea, would call out through the rain, and calm the storm in me.
Whom shall I fear? Whom shall I fear? I am yours.. I am yours..

A More Twisted Fairytale

You might think that it's just another fairytale.
That you've heard it somewhere.
But, behold! Here's a more twisted fairytale.
About a princess and a knight.

She's not a princess after all, for all you know,
just a slave donned in luxurious gowns,
locked up in a dark tower of a dark palace.
And the knight..
He is the royal son, a crown prince in disguise.

The princess stands on her balcony
for one thousand and first time
in a thousand and one nights.
"I'll love you forever," the knight said.
"Forever is not real," the princess answered.
"I'll always be here by your side," he said
"Let's not talk about the future," she replied.

Cos many knights have come
Throwing pebbles, drawing swords.
Draw her attention, fight for her
or so she had hoped.
But little that they know, little did she know
There is one thing much scarier than dragons and witches
The king himself, the father of the princess.

Many knights have come
and many knights have left..

Wow, have just done my research report for my English course. Since I'm taking Bachelor of Communication, it's about freedom of speech, in general. Would like to discuss about free speech in particular countries, but didn't have enough time and words limitation (we can only write less than 3000 words).
Well, if you'd like to read/have a look of it, here's the link:

>> Research Paper

Personally, I think it's good enough. Well, don't know what my lecturer think, though :p Hope I'll get high mark for it!

A friend in need is a friend indeed

Old sayings are always proven true. Well, they survived the corrosion of time precisely because they are accurate most of the time (always, in this case). You can always see which one are the true friends, not fake ones, when you're starting to show the darker side of you and your life.
Sadly, I don't have that many true friends. Luckily, I have few.

It's good to know that those few always stand by me. Even when I'm being difficult and mysterious, complicated and annoying. They're not exactly helping by giving what I need, but they're here, lending listening ears and giving a pat on the back. And some of them even really spend their time trying to help. What wonderful people *hearts*

But like any other things, when you have the good ones, you'll get the bad ones.
There are two kinds of rotten ones that I'm meeting right now: fakers and backstabbers.
One is always so nice and sweet in front of you, give you compliment how beautiful/smart/interesting/etc you are. Tell you that they're so sad that you're sad, blablabla. BUT THEN, behind your back, across the counter, behind closed doors, they'll start spreading gossips that YOU are the untrustworthy one. Geez..stop being fake. What do you gain from it? Definitely not respect. And please, quit dragging the name of GOD around..
Then there's this other kind who likes to give hinted insults. What the heck is wrong with you? If you don't like me, just go away. I won't care. I won't even realize.
You don't understand: Why do I like my guy? Why do I stay with him? Why do I look sad all the time? Why do I? Why am I? Why not this? Why? Why?

'Cause you don't know what I know >>

There's no Prince Charming or knight in shining armor, but the Princesses in my fairytale can all fight for themselves.

" 'Cos your greed sold me out of shame.."
--Christina A.

what a pathetic person he who thinks money can buy everything
equally sad, if not sadder, he who thinks money can give him rights to do everything

I'm not a princess. This isn't a fairytale..
- Swift

I've heard it few times (just a few times, cos I'm not as strikingly beautiful as I want to) in my life: You're so pretty, you'll go far in your life.
Not always the exact same words, but there's this same message: Your pretty face will get you somewhere far.
Well, that's rather irrelevant, isn't it? Can anyone be success just because of her face --in its literal meaning?

You can always hurt yourself in silence.

Just a random thought that crossed through my mind this morning as I listened to the lecture of "the uses of money" (or something like that. Do we really need a teaching on that?).

1. Being in silence for too long can hurt you.
Everybody knows: loneliness kills. Now, don't confuse 'alone' with 'lonely'. Being in silence definitely talks about being lonely, not about being on your own. So, DO NOT GET ACQUAINTED FOR TOO LONG WITH SILENCE.

2. Hurt yourself (only) when noone is looking.
This is the ironic side of the theory --and the one that I first thought of. I know certain angry people that "release" their anger by hurting themselves.. in front of everyone. So that everyone would know how angry hurting s/he is.
But the saddest of all is those who are hurting themselves behind everyone's back.
They look so alright on the outside; nobody could even guess something wrong is going on. But they are hurting themselves, mentally or physically, or both.. when noone's looking.

Journey to the East

-preparing "script" to host the event-

-took a pose with the "god of all cameras"-

More pictures, here [thanks for Thaza ;)]

The truth about the Goat and the Archer...

Just found something really interesting... It hits the nail in the head *ouch*

"Most of the time, when a Sagittarian friend, lover, mate, child, relative or business associate shoots a barbed observation of painful truth toward Capricorn, the Goat simply shrugs. "So nu?" remarks Capricorn. It's not easy to shake these people. Nevertheless, Sag should take it easy. Too many carefree remarks, and the Goat will slap down the Archer with Saturn's own brand of heavy observations of truth, which could cause the happy-go-lucky Sag to brood in a corner for months. Saturn-ruled Capricorns are excellent instructors of necessary lessons to the impulsive and outspoken of this world."

Don't know whether I should be glad (for the balance) or sad about it (_ _!)
Another one:

"When all's said and done, Sag is optimistic, Capricorn is pessimistic. Sagittarian optimism troubles the careful Goat. Capricorn pessimism depresses the Archer's soaring spirit. "

What, in all the zodiac personality analysis, can be truer than that? Believe me, NONE.

Leave Out All the Rest

I dreamed I was missing, you were so scared. But no one would listen, 'cause no one else cared. After my dreaming, I woke with this fear. What am I leaving when I'm done here?
So if you're asking me, I want you to know...
When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done. Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed. Don't resent me, and when you're feeling empty. Keep me in your memory, leave out all the rest.
Don't be afraid. I've taken my beating, I've shed but I'm me. I'm strong on the surface, not all the way through. I've never been perfect, but neither have you.
Forgetting all the hurt inside you've learned to hide so well. Pretending someone else can come and save me from myself. I can't be who you are.
I can't be who you are.

'Oly ceet..

"So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you,
for this sums up the Law and the Prophets."
Matthew 7:12

I'm not sure how to start this post... This one is going to be a sensitive topic. But I know I have to -need to- address it.
So, how many of you are atheist? Hands up?
How many of you despise the so-called religious people? Hands up?

And, how many of you are the people who believe in God? Particularly, Christ?
Right now, I'm surrounded by few so-called devout (fanatic, I call it) Catholics and Christians. I'm trying to recall what did Jesus say about connecting with people around us... be humble.. love you enemy.. serve others...
Although I'm not an expert in the Bible, as long as I can remember, Jesus always taught us to put others before ourselves. Be it about happiness or needs, ALWAYS think about others first. It's a different cases that I see and experience these days..

Let's go in details.
One friend of mine is a fanatic Catholic (pardon me I have to mention the religion). She talks about God, sing gospel loudly everywhere, talks about church activities, etc, etc.
But all that she ever talk about is herself: how she grew up, what she likes, her "talent", her, her, her. And the language she uses --I just can't stand it *pull hair*, rough language and sometimes, cursing words. And one particular thing that I hate, she's parodying to everyone whenever she's fasting. Really, should we advertise it as well in newspaper?

Then there's the other one, this one is a Christian. And this one is slightly worse, she bothers me much (that's why I mentioned her, otherwise, who cares..).
She lets everyone know she's a Christian by telling people how God bless her with this and that. But then, she isn't genuinely grateful for things she has. She complains A LOT; she thinks that she is the victim of life and that this universe is and should be orbiting around her. Seriously, lady, what was the ultimate thing that Jesus taught us? SACRIFICE. And be silent about it.

Did He complain when He had to come down to earth?
"To earth?! Father, you must be kidding me. Fine, fine! I'll go down. See how big-hearted I am, going down to that filthy earth to socialize with those filthy humans. Ew!"
And when He's resurrected...
"Geez, that was hurt! Now everyone, YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER WHAT I'VE DONE TO YOU OR ELSE!"
Then, 2000 years later...
*coming to many random people* "Human, Jesus here. You know what have I done for you? YOU DON'T?! Your parents didn't tell you about it?! It was troublesome and tedious, you know. How could they did not tell you about my sacrifice!"

Errr, no, I don't think Jesus said that or would He ever do..
Now, if only we can just forget about religion and the symbolic things (go to church, fasting, confession, etc) and start to imitate Jesus: His humility, His compassion, His LOVE.
Life will be much easier for ourselves and for others..

When the familiar things you put in familiar places can no longer be found,
Your home filled by people you no longer recognize,
You'd realize that YOU are the outsider..

"I know that God must love me cos He sent you to me..." ^^

-Westlife

"I keep you with me in my heart,
You make it easier when life gets hard. ...
Every time we say goodbye, I wish we had one more kiss.."

-Jason Mraz

"Great things are difficult to do, to create.

But they are worth it."

Every Little Things He Does

Soundtrack of the day: Every Little Thing You Do by Westlife

Bolt: Am I missing anything, Rhino?
Rhino: Just the knowledge that every minute spent in your company becomes the new greatest minute of my life!

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! Hope everyone had a good one (if not great!)
I sure did have a great one ^^

Gosh! I still can't believe it!

Remember the guy I told you about? Well, he told me that he likes me, 4 days ago!
It's a long exciting memorable lovely story, but I don't want to tell it here :p Let it be a private one.

It's insane... It's another dream comes true... He actually likes me back, can you believe it?! So yeah, yesterday we spent the Love Day together.

It's a great feeling, being loved is. Like a Westlife's song says: I never knew that love could felt so good.. It's been so long that I was made to believe that I don't deserve to be loved. And now, here's an angel comes along and confessed he adores me.

So, here's something for everyone out there: 
NEVER EVER believe if someone told you you are not good (or pretty or rich or whatever) enough to be loved. Give that person a slap on the face and just leave --even if it's your own mom who told you that
(okay, I don't really mean 'slap' slap, but you know, just ignore those kind of nasty sayings).

After so long, now I understand the concept of being loved. It's great; it's not only making me ready to love back, to love more, and to forgive. That's right, to forgive.

Love needs no reason. Look around and think about it. Have you seen someone who's "not pretty" but is happily married? Have you seen a disabled child, but still loved by his/her parents? There are so many proofs that love is unreasonable (needs no reason, I mean :p).

Of course, I'm aware that who knows how long this will last? Honestly, I'm pessimistic. He needs to do his things after graduation, and me, mine. But let's not care about that now. At the moment, let's just feel what we feel...

It doesn't matter what future brings.
Just enjoy what we have and do our best.
Then one day we'll look back without regret for we know that we've cherished what we had.

"I'm just broke, not broken."

Another trough in my life... It's a long story, I don't even want to talk about it *wave hand*
But every time I want to give up, every time I think 'I can't take this anymore..' the Archer in me always rise and say 'It's okay. We're going to get through this. Let's aim high and we'll reach there. You and me, together.' Yup, just her and me, no one else. Cos everybody else leaves. Well, everyone but one: My Lord.

"They still can't hold us down, Adeline!"

Yesterday, I had to go accompany a friend slash "colleague" in the search of sponsors for our upcoming Indonesian Students event. While we're in the bus, he asked me where I come from, then I said Batam Island. Then he asked me where my senior high school was, I said in Batam Island. He reacted, "No, I mean, the name of the high school." I replied, "Yos sudarso." And he gave me an astonished look. He's from Jakarta, but he happens to know a lot of the island I come from. For your information, Yos Sudarso is an ordinary high school. It was once the highest-ranking high school in Batam, but still, it's the ordinary one. Not the type of school for the rich guys or anything.
Then this friend of mine said: You're not from some international school?
I said, "Nope." Again, the astonished look.
It happened before --so many times before.

Once, it was my English teacher (the current one). She thought I was from Jakarta or another big city and/or had study in International school, cos -she thinks- I speak English so fluently (which I seriously don't think so).
Another time was my other friend. He thought I must've studied in another COUNTRY before. Not only cos of my English, but also cos of my way of thinking.
Well, those things confuse me.
It's always amazed me that the fact amazes people: that this "island girl" is whole lot more than just an island girl.
'What's with "island girl"?' You might wonder. In Indonesian language (or is it the culture?) it doesn't mean so nice, its connotative with negative meaning.

But it's okay, it's quite flattering anyway. Here's "island girl" that breaks all the definition of the term ^^

Welcome to the universe.

The Bottom Line

Your quiet little romance is going to get a lot of attention soon. Are you ready?

In Detail

You can't keep a good secret right now -- your quiet little romance is going to get a lot of attention very soon. Are you ready for the scrutiny? Suddenly everyone wants to know what's going on between the two of you, what's next and where this thing is going -- and you might not even know the answers! Feel free to take a step back and protect your privacy. Your life is no one's business but your own. Friends won't be put off if you clam up --they will understand.

Days With My Father

by Phillip Toledano

"Ring, ring! Who's there?
Destiny! I've been waiting for your call."

- Rhino

Soar

Soundtrack of the day: Soar by Christina Aguilera

So, yesterday I was talking about things that I've been thinking about (and things that I want to do). One of them keeps bugging me, and I'm the kind of person who, when think too much, will get sick --literally. So I think I'll write it down here, just to share it with everyone, perhaps to get a reply of what anyone else think (and I need to get if off my chest!).

Some things can only explained through melodic rhyming words.
Some things don't even have words to represent them.
But I'll try with my wits' best for this case.
It's about relationships: marriage, lovers, you get the picture. But particularly, as the case in Christina's song:

The boy who wonders is he good enough for them
He's tryin' to please 'em all but he just never seems to fit in
Then there's the girl who thinks she'll never ever be good enough for him
She's tryin' to change and that's a game she'll never win

Uh-huh. So it's all started because there's this someone I like right now. I think he's smart and handsome and independent and...oh, the list goes on. But day after day I observe him, he seems sad. Like, there's something hurtful about his past that he just won't let go. But, probably it's just my imagination.

Anyway, I always drown in fantasy that wouldn't it be great if I can make him my prince charming and this be my fairytale? He seems so perfect --at least for now.
That's one of the problems too, though. He's too perfect: handsome, smart, rich, hardworking. Why would he want to be with me? He has this long road of success ahead of him, with people throwing him flowers along the way.

I ridiculously entertain the thoughts that he does like me back, from the "friendly" way he talks to me and all. But, everybody knows that he is the friendly sort of guy (a huge successful-person-to-be, hello?) and who knows how "friendly" he gets with the other girls? You'll be able to see how those girls flock around him like hungry fish when food is thrown at them.

Back to the issue, since I really really like him, is it worth it to get his attention? It is the problem with me, too, since I'm more to career-minded, I always believe that it's not worth it to waste your time patching love story.

But this time...for once, I started to doubt what I've believe in for so long.
On one side, it seems beautiful to have a relationship. "Someone to have and hold" they say, to share your thoughts, happiness and sadness. Someone you can always call immediately when you get good grades, did an impressive presentation, or when you're sad or sick.

But on the other side, I just can't stand the hurt should he one day change his feelings (in my opinion, guys do change too fast, too often). And not to mention if our parents disagree on our relationship. OR if he, himself, is career-minded and decides that it's not worth his time having relationship with ME *gasp*

There you have it, I've put it out my head. I just wish that I have a mom or a best friend or whoever to talk to about things like this. Sadly, I have none.
Even though it's a different issue (but on the same topic), I just want to close this post with a line from Westlife's song

"If you've got somethin' to tell me, don't keep it inside. Let it be heard."

"You have to handle what's happening in your immediate environment, even if it's less fun than dreaming about the future. Nevertheless, no one can see your thoughts, so you can continue exploring your hidden fantasies as long as you also cover your bases in the here and now."

Even my horoscope knows I've been living more in my dreams than in reality. Even the "hidden fantasies" part is true. Aren't I glad very very few people can read minds *lol*
Well, yeah. Been thinking and dreaming about my future, of the thing(s) I want so bad to have and of which I've been preparing. But, of course, focusing too much on what's too far in front is not good, we tend to forget what's right in front.
Been wanting to do something too (few things, actually). But can't decide whether it's the wise thing to do... If only I have someone I can talk to about things like this, to help me discuss and heft the right and wrong of it...

Soundtrack of the day: Welcome by Christina Aguilera

Does he? Does he not?
(It's a long story compiled into two short questions)

3-Iron

You know what's one of the most hurtful things in the world (I've just realized)?
When you think you're special to someone, but the truth is you're not.

New wish of Newcastle

"I'm so happy when I know what I want" --printed shirt

I don't know if this is included as a "new year resolution" (but seeing the definition of resolution, I think it is included), but I've just realized what I want, as a purpose of my life in a short term (not really a short term, though): I want to finish my last year of college on-campus. Which means, I'm so going to Newcastle!

Yes, it seems huge now. I definitely can't afford the air ticket and my pop definitely won't pay for it. How about accommodation and connection/friends? I have no information on those things. Not yet.

THAT brings me to other resolutions for this year: I have to work hard for my study, give myself straight As. And gather information on how to transfer to the campus in Newcastle. Also, surely pray hard for it and be a super nice girl so I can include this wish to my Christmas list and hope Santa (or, God, whichever) is kind enough to grant me it.


Now, let's talk about reasons: why (I know this question word will always come up) Newcastle? University of Newcastle I'm studying in has three campuses in Australia, fourth is in Singapore where I'm at right now. Those campuses in Australia are in Newcastle, Central Coast and Port Macquire. So why Newcastle?

At first, I was reading about the three campuses in UoN site, and it was stated that "Callaghan [the name of the campus] is our original campus". That sounds good, doesn't it? 
But this is better:

"Our beautiful natural environment with a smattering of buildings have won awards for outstanding architecture....Our ground staff not only look after the flora but they also ensure that the fauna that shares the bushland with us is treated with care and respect."
Perfect! Then, I went on to Wikipedia, it's written there that the temperature is between 12.4° to 23° celcius. 

Perfect. 

Wikipedia also describe how beautiful the classic architecture of the building is (check out the pic I post). And an important thing: Newcastle located near beaches and has rivers. Lovely! I think I'll be comfortably happy living there :D

Welcome home. Your 8-day survival begins now.

Dim light. Small square. Sleepless nights. Charging mosquitoes. Sweltering air. Hostile begetter. False conviction.

Welcome home.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
What doesn't makes you stronger makes you crazy.

"You cut me deep and the pain is all I want to feel..."

22 Dec 2008

The Bottom Line

Your sparkling charm can help you connect with a shy or introverted person today.

In Detail

Your sparkling charm can work wonders today -- it can transform a blue friend into a sunny and happy friend, help you connect with a shy or introverted person, and even tame a blustering bully. You turn them into a tame kitty cat! All you have to do is flash a smile and toss a compliment someone's way and the magic will begin! This is a great time in your life to expand your social circle and try to connect with the people you normally would not think of approaching.

It may feel as if the party is over, but the Sun's last day in your sign could stimulate a burst of willful energy. You might wonder how you became so enthusiastic about an idea that wasn't all that important to you at first. But your involvement grew, as did the vision. Now you must face the necessity of radically rethinking your entire life. It's up to you to reinvent your dream and then do your best to live it.

Another thing to kick off the boredomingitis

A - Accidents:
01. Have you ever been in a car accident?
Just a minor one, yes.
02. Do you have a lot of scars?
Few, I was a naughty kid.
03. Have you ever been in a fist fight with someone?
*lol* Yes, long time ago, when I was in kindergarten.
04. Have you ever seriously hurt anyone by mistake?
Physically or mentally? Physicaly, nope. Mentally, er, I don't know.
05. Have you ever had stitches? No, thank God!

B - Beauty:
06. Do you consider yourself beautiful?
Well, I like what I see in the mirror :)
07. Are you self conscious of how you look?
Just when I'm nervous
08. Do you put on a lot of make-up?
No, not really good at it.
09. Would you ever consider getting plastic surgery?
I actually did, but I wouldn't really do it.
10. What do you think makes a person beautiful?
One's character.

C - Consequences:
11. What was the longest amount of time you've been grounded for?
Erm, like, 10 years? (okay, that's just an inside joke)
12. What would you do if you got pregnant, keep it or have an abortion?
I would totally keep it. I'm not brave enough to kill someone.
13. Do you ever think about how your actions affect other people?
Most of the time I do.
14. What do you think is the worst punishment someone could give you?
Imprisonment --not just physically.
15. What is one thing you wish you didn't do, just because it wasn't worth it in the end?
Trying to keep a certain friendships.

D - Dealing:
16. When you are mad at someone, how do you show them?
I don't talk to the person I'm angry at, for some time.
17. Name a time when you had to be strong?
When my mom died.
18. Have you ever dealt with a divorce or parents fighting?
Figthing, yes, dozens of time.
19. When people at school don't accept you, or have problems with you, how do you react?
Don't give a damn :p Well, actually I'll try to find out why they don't accept me/have problems with me. And if the fault is really with me, then I'll change.
20. Have you ever lost someone to death?
Didn't I just mention it?

E - Experience:
21. Have you ever had a job?
Yes, once. Twice if you count my job as a student :D
22. Do you think that you are sexually experienced, or not at all?
*lol* Not in practise.
23. Have you gone through a lot emotionally, or has life been easy thus far?
I've been throught a lot (hasn't everyone?). But what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?
24. Do you think you are ready to be on your own (have your own home, job, etc.)?
Not now, I'm bad at paying the bills :p
25. How old do you act?
I've been told I act way older than my age.

F - Family:
26. Is there anyone in your family you don't talk to?
Yes, but just because they live too far.
27. If you had to choose, family or friends?
This is going to sound cruel, but, if I really have to, I'd choose friends.
28. Can you tell your parents or one of your parents anything?
No, it's dangerous :D
29. Do you have any siblings?
Of course, one older brother and one younger sister.
30. How often do you spend 'quality time' with family members?
Not as often as I want to.

G - Growing:
31. How tall are you? How tall do you wish you were?
I'm 157 cm, always wish I was 160 or more. But ah, we learn to accept ourselves...
32. Do you think that you have grown more in the past year than any year before that?
Yes, completely. The past year has been a dramatic change for me.
33. As a person, do you think you are mature for your age or still act childish?
I'm mature for most problems. Just when I'm having fun I'm childish :D
34. Are you scared to think that one day you will turn 30, then 40, then 50?
Yes, been worrying about that.
35. Do you believe you still have a lot to learn?
Of course, there are so many things we have to learn in this life.

H - Hope:
36. Love - real or not?
Real, but not many people are lucky enough to find it.
37. Are you a pessimist or an optimist?
Barely an optimist :)
38. Do you believe in fate, that everything happens for a reason, or do you think that our actions lead the way?
It's a combination of both.
39. Do you think that after we die our spirit is still alive?
Yes, death is not the end.
40. What gives you hope when you just feel like dying?
To say honestly, nothing. But now I try to believe that I was born for a purpose.

I - Issues:
41. Do you suffer from depression or constant sadness/loneliness?
Did, but not anymore.
42. Do you have any type of disease or disability?
Disability --does disability to trust count? ;)
43. Are you currently in a hard relationship or have bad luck with the opposite sex?
*lol* have been in real bad luck.
44. Do you think that you are alone in this world?
No, I have my great friends all around me.
45. How often do you think about death, suicide or running away?
Suicide..been over that since a long time. Death..I think about it all the time, cos it's so mysterious. Running away..I'm an escapist :)

J - Jokes:
46. Are you usually the one making people laugh, or the other way around?
Both at the same amount.
47. Do you cry when you laugh hard?
Yes, but very seldom.
49. Do you ever get in trouble for laughing or talking a lot during class?
When I was in elementary school, yes. I was talkative.

K - Knowledge:
50. The purpose of school?
Learn everything academic, learn to handle backstabbers and bootlickers. Learn to make friends and vanquish enemies.
51. Do people refer to you as smart, dumb, or average?
They say I'm smart. I say thank you for the compliment.
52. What was the highest grade you have received (full course mark)?
Perfect score, for my favorite subject.
53. What was your last average?
Huh? I AM average.
54. What do you find the most interesting subject to be (to study or to talk about)?
Art and language.

L - Love:
55. Are you currently in love?
Now, I'd be very careful to use the word 'love'. But I am crushing on someone.
56. Do people around you show you a lot of love (tell you they love you, hug you, kiss you, etc.)?
No, I live in a culture that we seldom show out our love.
57. Is love worth it?
Yes. But not the common love we know these days.
58. Do you hate it when young teenagers say they 'love' someone that they've been dating for a few months?
Yes, they don't seem to really know what love is. They confuse love with like, or even crush.
59. Does it take a lot for you to say you love someone, or is it just a word?
It takes a lot. When I tell someone I love them, I really really really mean it.

M - Money:
60. Do you believe that money makes the world go round?
Yes, love has retire from the job.
61. Is your family on the poor side, average, or above average when it comes to money?
Well, we're not rich, but we can afford everything that we want. That's average, right? :p
62. Are you saving up for college/university, or planning to?
Planning to. I am in college, but I'm planning to transfer to another city. So, yeah...
63. Would you rather win millions of dollars and be set for life, or find the perfect person to marry and start a family with?
Tought choice, but I'll pick the first one (cos then I can still do the second one late in life!)
64. On a scale of 1-10, how important is money to you? 7

N - Naughty:
65. Are you a virgin?
Yes.
66. Do you think about doing sexual things with someone you're not going out with?
Ng...yes *grin*
67. Do you know anybody you consider a slut?
Yes, I do. I even heard them said it in my face.
68. If you could, would you erase some things you did in the past or make it so you did more?
What did I do in the past? *smile sheepisly* Well, I'll change nothing from the past. Every little things in my past is the ones that make me who I am.
69. Do you consider yourself more nice or more naughty?
The perfect combination of both :D

O - Openness:
70. How long does it take for you to open up to someone?
I amaze myself, but it can take very long.
71. What does it take for you to fully trust someone?
When in certain cases I see the proof of what s/he said is true.
72. Are you generally untrusting towards people because of past experiences, or any other reason?
Yes, I think there are many "unforgotten pasts" that make me difficult to trust people (esp. men, may I add).
73. When are you comfortable with someone sexually?
No, not at all. I'm having disorder.
74. When it comes to parents and close friends, what's the limit of what you can tell them?
Very limited. Everything I say can and will be used against me.

P - Positive:
75. Have you ever had an experience with someone that didn't necessarily end positively?
Seriously, too many to mention.
76. Do you agree with the saying: better to have loved and lost than not have loved at all?
Yes, love is a wonderful thing to learn, no matter what.
77. Are you more optimistic or pessimistic?
Optimistic. I'm a Sagittarius! *lol*
78. Do you agree that something good can come out of everything?
Yes, that's why I get cheated many times... -_-
79. Have you ever had a time where something really bad happened, but something really good happened because of it?
Uh, I can't remember anything like that.

Q - Questions:
80. When faced with a problem, do you ask for help or try to figure it out yourself?
I try to figure it out myself. But when it becomes worse, which is often, then I seek help :p
81. Do you often question the world and how we came about?
Yes, really often.
82. Do you think the government is truthful?
Nope, they only let us know what they want us to know, nothing more.
83. When someone does something wrong to you, do you confront them and ask them why they did it or just let it go?
Just let it go.
84. What is one unsolved mystery about the world that you want answers to?
Why did he leave?

R - Respect:
85. How do you show respect?
By not laughing at someone and/or insulting him/her.
86. What can someone do for you to lose all respect for them?
Being hypocrite. Oh, liars are also annoying.
87. Do you respect your teachers, parents, and other authority figures?
Not ALL of them.
88. When you are disrespectful to your parents, what is the punishment?
Fired as their child. No, I'm just kidding. It's quite vague, scoldings, I guess?
89. If someone is mean to you, are you mean back or do you kill them with kindness?
Kill them with kindness. It never fail to embarrass them.

S - School:
90. If you are still in school, what grade will you be going into?
I'm in college, will start my second semester soon.
91. When will you graduate high school/college?
August 2011 (College), 2006 (High School)
92. After high school, what did you do/are you planning to do?
Go straight to college. But life was planning different thing.
93. Do you like or hate school? What do you like/hate about it?
I generally hate school. I was miserable there. But I like it cos I can have friends.
94. Have you ever been suspended, expelled, or dropped out of school?
Not ever. I'm such a nice girl *lol*

T - Temptation:
95. Have you ever done something wrong, knowing it was wrong, because something inside of you said it was okay?
Yes, falling in love.
96. Has anyone ever pressured you to smoke or drink?
No, only offering me.
97. Did you ever cheat on someone?
I didn't even ever get a chance to have a boyfriend to cheat on in the first place.
98. Did you ever want to do something sexual with someone you didn't really know or love?
Yes, but 'want to' is as far as I got.
99. Do you give in to temptation easily, or are you more independent and strong willed?
Depends on the temptation. If it affects many people, I'm strong-willed. If it just affect me, I'll give in right away :D

U - Unique:
100. Would you rather blend in with the crowd or stand out?
Of course stand out. Even if it means being weird.
101. Do you do a lot of things because your friends are doing it?
Not at all. It has to be something that interest me.
102. Do you follow trends, wear whatever you want, or wear really unique pieces?
Whatever I want to wear, depends on my mood.
103. Do you give in easily to peer pressure?
Sometimes I do.
104. What makes you different from people your age?
I'm thinking way too old? As if I'm already 40 year-old.

V - Value:
105. What's the most expensive thing in your room? - My dear laptop.
106. Would you sacrifice your life for other people?
Yes.
107. What is something you value not because it costs a lot, but because it means a lot to you?
My old handphone. Cos it has many notes, smses, etc from long time ago.
108. If there was a fire in your house/apartment, what is the one thing you would want to save?
My laptop and important documents, and letters from my pen pal.
109. Do you think past memories and experiences are more valuable than what could happen?
Both have their own values. But I do learn more from the past.

W - Wishes:
110. If you had three wishes, what would they be?
I only have two: erase all the sins of mankind, end the world NOW.
111. Would you rather wish yourself to be happy, or your loved ones?
Selfish as it might sound, I wish myself to be happy. Enough happiness for "my loved ones".
112. Do you believe that wishes come true if you really believe in them?
Yes, I do. But hard work along the way won't hurt.
113. Have you ever had a wish come true?
Yes, of course!
114. Do you find wishing for things a waste of time because everything that's meant to happen, will happen?
No, wish hard for something will make it real.

X - Xanga:
115. Do you know what Xanga means?
The online blogging site?

Y - You:
116. Are you more independent or social?
How is it contradictory? I'm independent AND social.
117. What is something that makes you very mad when you see it?
Abusers: drug abuser, alcohol abuser, abusive father/husband.
118. Do you think that you have potential to do great things?
Great things in my own way, yes :D
119. What kind of person would you be if you didn't have guidance from family members, God, teachers, etc.?
I'll be nothing without God. I won't even be here at all.
120. Do you think people are generally good?
Yes. It's the circumstances that makes us bad.

Z - Zest:
121. Are you currently happy with your life? Why or why not?
Yes, completely happy. These days are the days I've been waiting for.
122. Are you more outgoing, ready for anything, or boring and shy?
Outgoing on the surface ;)
123. When change occurs, do you get scared or are you excited for it?
Excited. Life would be boring without change.
124. Do you like to try new things, meet new people?
Totally do :)