"There's nothing better than a good lie.."

Mood: Angry
Soundtrack: Evanescene, "Everybody's Fool"

There are more lies than broken promises.
There are more lies around you than you realize.
The promises of love, of parent's love, of best friends',
the promises of shoulder you can cry on, of helping hands, of anything on earth.
It's all lies.
Where are they when your world's falling apart?
Where are they when you're trying so hard picking up your shattered dream?
When you bleed by crystallized tears?
Keeping their own world and dreams safe. Away from you.

They break your heart with their lies,
stomp on it with their indifference,
throw it away and laugh away.
Then they're condemn you for not having a heart?!

it never was and never will be.
you're not real and you can't save me

When the whole world around you is drowned, I will be here. Maybe I will not be strong enough to protect you or to save you. But I will be here. With you. Never will let you feeling alone.

When the whole world around me is drowned, I don't want you to be here. I want you to be in somewhere safe. Knowing that you are safe is enough to giving me strength, to survive or to face death.

From both sides~

I saw her today

It's been a long time
Feel like centuries
She seems alright
He look just like he used to
We talked for a while
I can't take my eyes off him
She kept looking at me, don't know why
He didn't want to look at me, don't know why
She asked, "how are you?"
He asked, "do you have a boyfriend?"
I told her about my new girlfriend
I said no...
I pretended that I care
I pretended that I don't care
She look different from she used to
He looked more attractive that he was
She said, "ok then, see you around"
He said, "goodbye.."
Then I went to play basketball
Then I went home and cry

Love~

I think I'm in love.
But I don't know whether it is love.

This kind of feeling can be very deceiving.
There are times when I'm missing him so much.
Remembering our silent conversation.
Remembering the things that we've shared to each other.
Dreams, fear, worry, laugh, anger. Everything.

There are times when I hate him so much.
For coming to my life... then dissappear
                without a trace.
For giving me so much joy... then take it away
                like I don't deserve it.
For teaching me to believe in love... then denying it himself.

There are times, I really want him to know:
You mean so much for me.
You know I'd give everything for you
                but you also know that I don't have everthing.
If you want me to stay, I will do just that.
If you want me to go away, because you happier that way
                                                ...I will do just that.

There are times I hate myself.
Because I never had the courage to tell him everything I want him to know.
Soundtrack: That's Where You Find Love by Westlife

10July06 --the whole story

I walk down the stairs, get in to the car.
Forget about him.
And close the door.
I cant.
I sit... and look up.
You don't love him.
I know you would be standing at the window, I was right.
I do.
You're looking down, in the darkness that surrounding.
Oh, I love him.
I'm almost sure you are looking at me, but wait...
She's in the car too.
But he doesn't love me...
I curse my human eyes... cos because of them I cant see your face clearly.
Or does he..?

10July06

I'm sitting here, at the backsit.
Looking up to you, standing at your window, looking down.
Who are you looking at, boy?
Me..? Or she, at the front sit?
I've never stopped wondering..

Soundtrack: If I let you go by Westlife

Hantu~

Pada suatu waktu
Aku terbaring terpaku
Ketika sebuah angan menerpaku
Betapa hidup takkan berliku
Bila aku bisa menjadi hantu

Bukan hantu bertaring berambut kaku
Bukan pula hantu berbaju putih bermata sayu
Hanya aku, diriku, tapi hantu

Hidup akan sepi, aku tahu
Tanpa keluarga, dan teman tempat mengadu
Tidak mengetahui indahnya baju baru
Tidak pula mengenakan sepatu

Tapi bukankah itu yang kita mau?
Untuk apa ada keluarga bila sama tak bisa mengadu?
Ada teman, tapi tak bisa bersatu?
Tau indah, tapi tak ada uang untuk membeli baju
Juga tidak untuk membeli sepatu baru
Menggantikan sepatu lama dari 5 tahun yang lalu
Tidak juga pusing ingin memilih makan singkong atau keju
Karena perut dan lidah telah kelu sebagai hantu
Juga takkan tersipu malu
Mendengar hinaan darimu

Ah, aku ingin menjadi hantu

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