Every Little Things He Does

Soundtrack of the day: Every Little Thing You Do by Westlife

Bolt: Am I missing anything, Rhino?
Rhino: Just the knowledge that every minute spent in your company becomes the new greatest minute of my life!

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! Hope everyone had a good one (if not great!)
I sure did have a great one ^^

Gosh! I still can't believe it!

Remember the guy I told you about? Well, he told me that he likes me, 4 days ago!
It's a long exciting memorable lovely story, but I don't want to tell it here :p Let it be a private one.

It's insane... It's another dream comes true... He actually likes me back, can you believe it?! So yeah, yesterday we spent the Love Day together.

It's a great feeling, being loved is. Like a Westlife's song says: I never knew that love could felt so good.. It's been so long that I was made to believe that I don't deserve to be loved. And now, here's an angel comes along and confessed he adores me.

So, here's something for everyone out there: 
NEVER EVER believe if someone told you you are not good (or pretty or rich or whatever) enough to be loved. Give that person a slap on the face and just leave --even if it's your own mom who told you that
(okay, I don't really mean 'slap' slap, but you know, just ignore those kind of nasty sayings).

After so long, now I understand the concept of being loved. It's great; it's not only making me ready to love back, to love more, and to forgive. That's right, to forgive.

Love needs no reason. Look around and think about it. Have you seen someone who's "not pretty" but is happily married? Have you seen a disabled child, but still loved by his/her parents? There are so many proofs that love is unreasonable (needs no reason, I mean :p).

Of course, I'm aware that who knows how long this will last? Honestly, I'm pessimistic. He needs to do his things after graduation, and me, mine. But let's not care about that now. At the moment, let's just feel what we feel...

It doesn't matter what future brings.
Just enjoy what we have and do our best.
Then one day we'll look back without regret for we know that we've cherished what we had.

"Ring, ring! Who's there?
Destiny! I've been waiting for your call."

- Rhino

Soar

Soundtrack of the day: Soar by Christina Aguilera

So, yesterday I was talking about things that I've been thinking about (and things that I want to do). One of them keeps bugging me, and I'm the kind of person who, when think too much, will get sick --literally. So I think I'll write it down here, just to share it with everyone, perhaps to get a reply of what anyone else think (and I need to get if off my chest!).

Some things can only explained through melodic rhyming words.
Some things don't even have words to represent them.
But I'll try with my wits' best for this case.
It's about relationships: marriage, lovers, you get the picture. But particularly, as the case in Christina's song:

The boy who wonders is he good enough for them
He's tryin' to please 'em all but he just never seems to fit in
Then there's the girl who thinks she'll never ever be good enough for him
She's tryin' to change and that's a game she'll never win

Uh-huh. So it's all started because there's this someone I like right now. I think he's smart and handsome and independent and...oh, the list goes on. But day after day I observe him, he seems sad. Like, there's something hurtful about his past that he just won't let go. But, probably it's just my imagination.

Anyway, I always drown in fantasy that wouldn't it be great if I can make him my prince charming and this be my fairytale? He seems so perfect --at least for now.
That's one of the problems too, though. He's too perfect: handsome, smart, rich, hardworking. Why would he want to be with me? He has this long road of success ahead of him, with people throwing him flowers along the way.

I ridiculously entertain the thoughts that he does like me back, from the "friendly" way he talks to me and all. But, everybody knows that he is the friendly sort of guy (a huge successful-person-to-be, hello?) and who knows how "friendly" he gets with the other girls? You'll be able to see how those girls flock around him like hungry fish when food is thrown at them.

Back to the issue, since I really really like him, is it worth it to get his attention? It is the problem with me, too, since I'm more to career-minded, I always believe that it's not worth it to waste your time patching love story.

But this time...for once, I started to doubt what I've believe in for so long.
On one side, it seems beautiful to have a relationship. "Someone to have and hold" they say, to share your thoughts, happiness and sadness. Someone you can always call immediately when you get good grades, did an impressive presentation, or when you're sad or sick.

But on the other side, I just can't stand the hurt should he one day change his feelings (in my opinion, guys do change too fast, too often). And not to mention if our parents disagree on our relationship. OR if he, himself, is career-minded and decides that it's not worth his time having relationship with ME *gasp*

There you have it, I've put it out my head. I just wish that I have a mom or a best friend or whoever to talk to about things like this. Sadly, I have none.
Even though it's a different issue (but on the same topic), I just want to close this post with a line from Westlife's song

"If you've got somethin' to tell me, don't keep it inside. Let it be heard."

3-Iron

You know what's one of the most hurtful things in the world (I've just realized)?
When you think you're special to someone, but the truth is you're not.

"You cut me deep and the pain is all I want to feel..."

Twilight

Just finished readying the much-hyped book of Twilight. I wasn't so interested in it, but since everyone's talking about it, I feel like it's my responsibility to read what's so interesting about it. Can't say I was impressed, just another book for teenagers. However, I give credit to the author for the effort. The way Meyer deliver her story is appealing, just enough humor here and there.

It does make us fall in love with love. With all the sickening thick coating of romanticism cream, too thick for my preference, I can't taste the real cake inside.

But it also makes me wonder: Do you think, honestly, that such love still exists in this world? No man -or woman, in this matter- has that much time for his other half anymore, no? Not many people have enough time even from themselves anymore.

And someone care for your safety more than for his own? Ahem.. I'm skeptical.

It is more believable that vampires exist than such love do.

Is imagination always much more beautiful than reality? Or perhaps, most of the time love does feel that way, only we are not poetic enough to put it into words?

"The glory of first love, and all that. It's incredible, isn't it, the difference between reading about something, seeing it in the pictures, and experiencing it?" -Edward.

Jumper

And so I've finished watching Jumper today, after a few weeks credit-watching. Cinematography-wise, the film is cool. It has a vivid storyline in it and the cinematography is just awesome. Not to mention the editing --the editors must have had real tough time. It has got to win at least one Oscar in the coming year.

But looking through a commoner spectacle, the movie is weird.. The song 'Oops I Did It Again' by Britney Spears keeps ringing in my head while I was watching. Not the entire song, just the bit when it said 'I'm dreaming away; Wishing that heroes, they truly exist'. Especially "I told you I'm different" part.Cos it just funny how in films the main character would be heroes, saving the world and being different from, uh, the same kind and would fight to the death for the girl he loves. Gosh, that reminds me why I hate romance stories and movies.
Do you honestly sincerely wants me to believe that a guy would be willing to put himself in a miserable death to save the girl he love?

Yeah, it's a fiction anyway. There's no JUMPER in the first place. Oh, one thing I would believe, though: anyone, be it a girl or a guy, would gladly fight with his/her best friend just for his/her girl/guy. I know it first hand; it sucks.
No wonder Shakespeare said "You call it stupid, I call it love." Well, I'd say "You call it love, I call it mental disorder."

Is this what it is?
Just another reason not to trust men.
Not to trust love.
Cos there's no such thing as happily-ever-after ending.
No knight or prince would want to fight THAT dragon to save THIS princess.

When I finally let someone step closer, it's just another pack of lies.
But I appreciate that that someone left quickly, causing less pain.
There's nothing to cry over.

Soundtrack of the day: Strange Boy by Kerli

If you love me, set me free. If I come back, I'm yours.
If I don't....well, see ya around!

For me, the greatest mystery in life is not whatever happened to Amelia Earheart. Or who built the Sphinx.
Or how did Alexander the Great die.
But, why did you leave?

-:-

An unfinished story is a lot more annoying than an unhappy ending. (成基)

Soundtrack: Bop Bop Baby by Westlife

The only thing that you ever gave me, you give to somebody else...

When it's gone, it's gone. Let it go :)

DRAFT!

Soundtrack of the day: Butterfly Cry by Kerli

"Affair of the heart is the undoing of a hero.."

When I'm not, you are.
When I do, you don't.
You're here, but you're so far away.
Within range but unreachable.

I try to deny, but how is it supposed to work?
Even though I don't ever say it, I still feel it.

This feeling is like a butterfly.
So fragile yet so strong.
The urge is so strong I'm suffocated.
Yet it's so fragile I know it'll die soon.
It'll die before we're able to comprehend.
Even before we realize it ever existed.

How good will its life be if it doesn't have to feel guilty
when it does the things that brings happiness for it.

How should anyone understand?
The sadness of the butterfly.
Cos its existence just another one
In this universe.
Alone.
Ordinary.
In vain.

Love always come hand in hand with sorrow --no, not only hand in hand, they're Siamese twin: you can't separate them. Even through operation, it'll be dangerous.
Is it worth it to let both come into our dwellings? Will there be enough space for both?

This song's my sorry

Notice me, take my hand. Why are we strangers when our love was strong? Why carry on Without me?

Everytime I try to fly, I fall. Without my wings I feel so small. I guess I need you baby. And everytime I see you in my dreams, I see your face. It's haunting me. I guess I need you baby.

I make believe that you are here. It's the only way I see clear. What have I done? You seem to move on easy.

I may have made it rain. Please forgive me. My weakness caused you pain. And this song's my sorry.
At night I pray, that soon your face will fade away.

One of my favorite Indonesian music videos, ever!
I always had a thing for mermaids, moreover the story of love between mermaid and human. And this video presents a story line.
Check out the lyric, it's so touching *sobsob*:
Mungkin ini memang jalan takdirku, mengagumi tanpa dicintai. Tak mengapa bagiku asal kau pun bahagia dengan hidupmu, dengan hidupmu.
Telah lama kupendam perasaan itu, menunggu hatimu menyambut diriku. Tak mengapa bagiku cintaimu pun adalah bahagia untukku, bahagia untukku.
Reff (twice): Kuingin kau tahu diriku di sini menanti dirimu. Meski kutunggu hingga ujung waktuku. Dan berharap rasa ini 'kan abadi untuk selamanya. Dan ijinkan aku memeluk dirimu kali ini saja. 'Tuk ucapkan selamat tinggal untuk selamanya. Dan biarkan rasa ini bahagia untuk sekejap saja.

I miss my -sweet- lovely durian.
Do you still remember who you are?
I do - :)

- -:- - -:- -

Sekarang aku tahu apa yang aku takutkan. Bukan mimpi yang terlalu indah yang takkan menjadi kenyataan, tapi mimpi yang menjadi kenyataan tapi ternyata tak seindah yang aku bayangkan.

What it means to love someone~

When you love someone...
...you want him to be happy, whatever it means.
...you want to be a better person because of and for him.

The dark cloud places a piece of shadow in our hearts

I listen respectfully to my mood,
which has already been quiet for a long time
Clear and transparent
Just like the beautiful scenery
It's always only clear when seeing it in my memory
Can the heart, that has been thoroughly hurt, still continue to love me?
I make an effort to pull up the pair of hands that have no warmth
The tenderness in the past has already been locked by time
Only leaving sadness that doesn't go away
The maple leaves slowly falling down are like thoughts
I light a candle to warm up the end of autumn
The northern lights plunder the edge of the sky
The northern wind brushes past the expressions of missing you
I take love and burn it into fallen leaves
Yet I can't get back that familiar face
The maple leaves slowly falling down are like thoughts
Why must retrieving be hurried before winter comes?
Loving you passing through time
Two rows of tears from the end of autumn
Let love permeate through the ground
All I want is you to be by my side
The graceful red rain in between the mountainside
Withering with the north wind
I lightly swing the wind chimesI want
To awaken the love that has been deserted
Snowflakes are already spread all over the ground
Deeply scared that the maple leaves outside the window have already become frozen

song by Jay Chou