A spring of love

It's Chinese New Year AND Valentine's Day together this year.

But nothing blissful or lovely about it. On this side of the world, at least.
Even the worst girl got a rose, but not me..
Went back to my  home and the first thing I was asked was "What are you doing home? Why did you come back?"
The second thing I heard was "Must be because she has no date with her boyfriend."

What's wrong with the world today?
Where is the love?
^

'The War' is here..

Much anticipated (for Echelon, at least) 30 Seconds to Mars' album is finally unveiled. As you might have heard, it's called 'This Is War'.It's quite a sensitive title, I'd say. With so many wars going on, people might get it all wrong.

So Jared tweeted (yes, he tweets and yes, I'm a follower) a review on it. Of course, it's a good review that he posted. But, let's face the truth: it's not their best album.
Well, they have only three albums so far, so they still have many chances.
You can have a peek of the songs here.

Their first single, Kings and Queens, is fine. But why am I always reminded of Iris everytime I hear it?
Long intro in Escape.. too Metallica. Even the title is from one of Metallica's songs. A tribute for the legendary metal band?
What's with 100 boys singing in 100 Suns? It might give a nice effect in The Kill, but sorry Jared, the magic wears off.
What's with the Westlife-y songs like Alibi (100 Suns too, actually)?
And what's with the album's cover, really?

Where's the soul of 30 Seconds to Mars that once lived in Fortification, Anarchy in Tokyo, Buddha for Mary, even From Yesterday?
It's beating only half-alive through Vox Populi and Stranger in A Strange Land. Their lyrics never fail, though. Love especially Stranger in A Strange Land.

"I'm a ghost, you're an angel."

Well, I'm not a musician, really, so can't really comment on their music. At least they don't start singing about love and broken-hearts. If they do, that'd be the last day I'm an Echelon.

Best birthday ever!

Aaaaargh..

Is IT next week already?
Can't believe it. Don't want to be. Just wanna stay this way.
I don't ask for sweet 17th always. Just this way. Can I?

One of the best things in my life has just over..

..ironically, i trade the chance to continue to have it with one thing that doesn't even want me to be a part of it.
What's behind the smoke and glass?
Painted faces, everybody wears a mask..
--'Welcome' by C.A

Ghost from the past

Has it ever happened to you before?

Your past caught up after you no matter how fast you try to run. It's what's happening to me now. Certain part of my past is like the undead zombis: I ran from it, hid from it, tried to kill it, tried to buried it, but it keeps running after me. And now it's grabbing me right on the shoulder. I'm trying to shake it off.. Oh, God, please make it let me go..

It found me in Facebook (sometimes I love that site, sometimes I hate it..), in the form of friend request. Yeah, it's a "FRIEND request" by my archenemy. I haven't accepted it. I will, but later. 

I don't understand myself why it bothers me, makes me tremble, freaks me out:

1. I haven't met/spoken to her for years.
2. Even if we're friends in FB, it doesn't mean anything (she can't possibly hurt me again through FB. Or can she?).
3. It's just FB friend request, for God's sake!

It just simply freaks me out *I couldn't breathe*. I don't think I hate her, I don't even consider myself disliking her. I just don't want her around me, I just don't want to hear anything about her anymore. She has taken so much from my life, things I love, persons I love, everything. It's like a trauma now. Feels like a simple 'accept' click would open the gate for her to come into my life again, and history will be repeated all over again.

Just a fleeting thought of her sends shivers down my spine. 

Just like a zombie. Such a lovely zombie..

Wish list for this year :D

1. Elizabeth Arden - Provocative Interlude
(I broke mine TT.TT. Have been looking around, but it seems that they don't have it in Singapore. Would have to buy it online..)

2. Chrysanthemum flower
(Hope someone will give it to me on my b'day :p)

3. Random earrings
(lost my favorite ones, somehow *>_<* smells like conspiracy..) 

4. Gothic tarot card >>>
(saw a friend learning this, reminded me that I've always wanted a pack of my own)

5. Blackberry handphone
(eh, not really going to buy it *lol* but a girl can wish!)

I've come a long way..

Sountrack of the day: 'Fighter' by Christina Aguilera

So the news is out: the new President of MAPIA (Indonesian Association in my campus) is a female. Guess which female it is ;)
The news, naturally, gives me mix feelings: the biggest one is definitely pride.
After who I am in my family's eyes, life tells me that it's not who I truly am; after all the nasty things I'm told that I am, life tells me that it's so not true.
I've just discussed about it with my best friend the other day. In my family, my opinion will be the last to be asked. Among my friends, it's the opposite. In my family, it never happened before that I'm allowed to take any decision. Well, that's definitely not the case when I'm outside. In my family, I'm just unlovable indecisive selfish little girl. Among my friends...well, you can ask them whether it's true.
What I'm trying to say is, don't let your family -or anyone else in this matter- define you. Whole your life, people will try to tell you that you are this and you are that (both in positive understanding and negative). If it's a compliment, thank them, keep humble and stay being yourself. If it's an insult, thank them, keep humble, stay being your best self, and prove them wrong!
Another thing that I'm trying to say is, people say that it's family who will always stand by you no matter what --I say, think again. Most of the time, it's our family who'll try to put us down.

Anyway, the second biggest feeling, however, anxiety plus nervousness.
Am I the right person for the position? Can I sustain the good name of MAPIA? Can I meet -or better, surpass- people expectations of me? Well, if I think about it narrow-minded-ly, I'm terrified. But I shouldn't worry, I'm surrounded by great people, great friends, great teammates. What I can't do, what I'm lacking, I know will be fill up by their strengths. Together, we'll create a great team, for a better name of MAPIA!

Sometimes, just sometimes..

Sometimes I love him, sometimes I hate him so much.
Sometimes, I believe this one could be different.
Sometimes, I don't even dare to hope.
Sometimes, things seem bright, the future seems bright.
Sometimes, there's nothing there.
Sometimes, I'm just tired, wish I could end it all.
Sometimes.. Just sometimes.

And sometimes, life doesn't go on.
Believe me, I know.
You live, you breath, you move. (But) Just like a zombie. You feel nothing, the heart is cold --or no heart at all.

To I_Boy..
I know exactly how it feels.. It's sad, isn't it?
They only like you when you're the happy cheerful person.
Once they take a slight peek of our sadness, they run like their lives depend on it.. Even those who claim they care, they simply have no time to care.

"If only thirst could quench sorrow, Ptolemy.." -Alexander

I'm not a princess. This isn't a fairytale..
- Swift

I've heard it few times (just a few times, cos I'm not as strikingly beautiful as I want to) in my life: You're so pretty, you'll go far in your life.
Not always the exact same words, but there's this same message: Your pretty face will get you somewhere far.
Well, that's rather irrelevant, isn't it? Can anyone be success just because of her face --in its literal meaning?

Journey to the East

-preparing "script" to host the event-

-took a pose with the "god of all cameras"-

More pictures, here [thanks for Thaza ;)]

"I'm just broke, not broken."

Another trough in my life... It's a long story, I don't even want to talk about it *wave hand*
But every time I want to give up, every time I think 'I can't take this anymore..' the Archer in me always rise and say 'It's okay. We're going to get through this. Let's aim high and we'll reach there. You and me, together.' Yup, just her and me, no one else. Cos everybody else leaves. Well, everyone but one: My Lord.

"They still can't hold us down, Adeline!"

Yesterday, I had to go accompany a friend slash "colleague" in the search of sponsors for our upcoming Indonesian Students event. While we're in the bus, he asked me where I come from, then I said Batam Island. Then he asked me where my senior high school was, I said in Batam Island. He reacted, "No, I mean, the name of the high school." I replied, "Yos sudarso." And he gave me an astonished look. He's from Jakarta, but he happens to know a lot of the island I come from. For your information, Yos Sudarso is an ordinary high school. It was once the highest-ranking high school in Batam, but still, it's the ordinary one. Not the type of school for the rich guys or anything.
Then this friend of mine said: You're not from some international school?
I said, "Nope." Again, the astonished look.
It happened before --so many times before.

Once, it was my English teacher (the current one). She thought I was from Jakarta or another big city and/or had study in International school, cos -she thinks- I speak English so fluently (which I seriously don't think so).
Another time was my other friend. He thought I must've studied in another COUNTRY before. Not only cos of my English, but also cos of my way of thinking.
Well, those things confuse me.
It's always amazed me that the fact amazes people: that this "island girl" is whole lot more than just an island girl.
'What's with "island girl"?' You might wonder. In Indonesian language (or is it the culture?) it doesn't mean so nice, its connotative with negative meaning.

But it's okay, it's quite flattering anyway. Here's "island girl" that breaks all the definition of the term ^^

Welcome to the universe.

Welcome home. Your 8-day survival begins now.

Dim light. Small square. Sleepless nights. Charging mosquitoes. Sweltering air. Hostile begetter. False conviction.

Welcome home.

WISH LIST!

Really really want (gonna get one of these days):

Butterfly phone strap

((given by a friend :) thanks!))

Just admiring (MAYBE going to get it in the far future):

Butterfly Halloween costume

Tiaras and hair accessories

Butterfly tiara

Haindpainting our images

Merah Putih

First of all, happy birthday to my godbrother. Another year, eh, bro? :D

Wish all years in you life would be beautiful -just as you've made my life beautiful :) And please, stay being your strong self I've always known. I know we can't always be around each other as much as we want to, but I hope we'll stay like how we used to -err close-but-not-so-close? *lol*

Next, just want to write down my shoutout in my friendster :p

"Tell me, when you're looking down upon me, are you proud of who I am?"

O2Camp the 2nd day...

My team ready to fight the other team :D
Spot me?

Felix and Inez, before we leave for Sentosa (O2 Camp 26-27 Sept)
Oh, aren't they just cute?! *lol*

Wanted to go, but don't know why, I changed my mind on the last minute :)

Show me that you can change, and I'll show you I can change my mind, too...