~Audi alteram partem~

You know your part of the story. Now hear the other side.
Cos everyone just want to be heard
.

Values

Remember some time ago I had a question: When two persons you respect are disrespecting each other, do you stop respecting either one?

I finally found a concrete answer, which is a resounding YES.

It might not be too clearly black and white. It might not happen immediately. But you will lose your respect for one of them eventually. I found this answer, unfortunately, through personal experiences. I realised, this tendency to lean towards one side is because of our values. Or more precisely, the conflicting of those values.

What are values? No, not the monetary worth of something. I'm talking about the other kind of values:
The principles or standards of behaviour; one's judgement of what is important in life.

Everyone has values. Positive or negative, everyone has their own view of what they hold as important, that they use as the cornerstone of their lives.

For the positive examples, some people value honesty, or honour. So in everything they do, they will try to be honest, or honourable, even though they might get into trouble (Ned Stark, anyone?).
For the negative examples, it could be materialism, the value that put things as more than human beings.

When you respect someone, I find, it's because you have similar values. If you're an honest person, you'll only respect honest people, whether you realise this or not.

So if the 2 people you respect, are disrespecting each other, most probably there's a contradiction of values there. But as we know from a wise man, contradiction cannot exist in one place, so you'll drop one of them in the end.

“Contradictions do not exist. Whenever you think that you are facing a contradiction, check your premises. You will find that one of them is wrong.”
- Francisco d’Anconia

I find this true in love as well.

We might fall in love because of various reasons. But we stay in love when we share the same values. When a couple in a relationship don't share the same values, you'll see that the relationship will fall apart faster than you can say "Francisco d'Anconia".

Anger

It's ok to be sad. It's also okay to be angry.

“...anger could be thought of as an intermediate emotion. An event happens, the brain doesn't have time (or doesn't want to) to fully process the situation and it needs a reaction, so anger is what's used until there's more time to examine everything in more detail.”^

“It’s the one that tells us we need to take action to put something right,” she says. “Anger is a problem-solving emotion. It gives us strength and energy, and motivates us to act.”^

“Nobody ever gets into trouble for feeling angry. But people sometimes get into trouble for what they do when they feel angry.”^

The Piemaker

"Nobody remembers your father, Ned.
But they do talk about how you turn out to be such a nice, wonderful boy.

Man, even."
- Vivian Charles, Pushing Daisies

Ned Pushing Daisies

If you look back and it makes you smile, 
hold on to it.
If you look back and it makes you angry, 
let go of it.

10,593 days old

My colleagues know I need a new lipstick, and I like my wine.
(Check out my Gudetama photobombing my wine)