Many notable things happened for the past few weeks: new activities, old friends, intermezzo here and there. But the most "memorable" of all is a ball in my campus --University of Newcastle Ball. What's special about the ball (beside the fact that it's full of important people both from my campus and my university)?
It's a masquerade. Whole my life, I'm dying to go to one.No joke about it, eversince I watched the Man in the Iron Mask, I've been dreaming to go to a masquerade. But it wouldn't be a dream if it comes true so readily. After trial and tribulations, it was after all, a bad dream..
Perhaps, it will only be wise if I don't go into details. The point is, it was a huge disappointment that the ball didn't go was I wish it to be. In my perfect scenario, I would went to the ball with my sufficiently-formal dress, adorned with a mask (it's a masquerade!), holding hands with my boyfriend, chatted up with my friends happily, took many picture, met and got to know many lecturers and seniors, danced the night away with my boyfriend, then close it with a slow dance and a kiss. Let's just say none of those really happened.
What went wrong? Dare I blame it on my boyfriend? Or was it just my fault that he looked so miserable beside me? Makes me wonder, if I was so ugly that night (or ever so) that he didn't want to hold my hand when we entered the ballroom? Was I so ungraceful that he didn't want to dance with me? Did I shame him somehow that he couldn't bear to wait till the slow song before going back?
He even refused to wear his mask even just for a minute --what's a masquerade without a mask? Yes, he was wearing specs, but is a minute too much to ask?
He didn't even say 'you look pretty tonight' matra. Only when a mentor of ours ask did he said it.
Never mind, it is all over anyway. Just another dream crushed, more lessons learned (and few secrets revealed, it seems to me). When will there be another masquerade in town?

Ghost from the past

Has it ever happened to you before?

Your past caught up after you no matter how fast you try to run. It's what's happening to me now. Certain part of my past is like the undead zombis: I ran from it, hid from it, tried to kill it, tried to buried it, but it keeps running after me. And now it's grabbing me right on the shoulder. I'm trying to shake it off.. Oh, God, please make it let me go..

It found me in Facebook (sometimes I love that site, sometimes I hate it..), in the form of friend request. Yeah, it's a "FRIEND request" by my archenemy. I haven't accepted it. I will, but later. 

I don't understand myself why it bothers me, makes me tremble, freaks me out:

1. I haven't met/spoken to her for years.
2. Even if we're friends in FB, it doesn't mean anything (she can't possibly hurt me again through FB. Or can she?).
3. It's just FB friend request, for God's sake!

It just simply freaks me out *I couldn't breathe*. I don't think I hate her, I don't even consider myself disliking her. I just don't want her around me, I just don't want to hear anything about her anymore. She has taken so much from my life, things I love, persons I love, everything. It's like a trauma now. Feels like a simple 'accept' click would open the gate for her to come into my life again, and history will be repeated all over again.

Just a fleeting thought of her sends shivers down my spine. 

Just like a zombie. Such a lovely zombie..

Rainbow..

"I don't see much rainbow anymore these days.
I wonder why..
It's been raining, but there's no rainbow.
Has the much polluted air concealed the rainbow?
Or has it ceased becoming in this too many skyscrapers city?
Or is it just me that caught up in my busyness too much that I don't have time to look up at the sky and find the rainbow?"

Wish list for this year :D

1. Elizabeth Arden - Provocative Interlude
(I broke mine TT.TT. Have been looking around, but it seems that they don't have it in Singapore. Would have to buy it online..)

2. Chrysanthemum flower
(Hope someone will give it to me on my b'day :p)

3. Random earrings
(lost my favorite ones, somehow *>_<* smells like conspiracy..) 

4. Gothic tarot card >>>
(saw a friend learning this, reminded me that I've always wanted a pack of my own)

5. Blackberry handphone
(eh, not really going to buy it *lol* but a girl can wish!)

cerita cin(T)a --a story of Love

Well, it's a coincidence (if you believe the randomness of the universe) or a miracle (if you believe that everything is planned by The One Above).
I received an email from PPI (Association of Indonesian Students in Singapore) about a movie that touches a controversial issue (at least in Indonesia).

I just thought that I should share it with people. I haven't watched it, but here is the trailer for the movie:

It's lovely how the story questions not only about love, but also about God --God's love for us, and our love for God. Check out the official site:

.:: God is a director.com ::.

"This is a story of a love triangle between
Cina (the boy), Annisa (the girl),
and Tuhan (God).

Cina and Annisa love God
and God loves them both
But Cina and Annisa cannot love each other
because they call God by different names."