"Women bring men home --I have no such feelings."
-AtG.

"You know you are in love when you can't sleep --because reality is finally better than dreams."
-random anonymous quote.
(Really? How, then, do we explain sleep deprivation because of anger/phobia?)

"Don't get me wrong, I love you --but I love my freedom more."
-Vk.

If you want best of both worlds, you have to work double the effort.
-vk.

I've come a long way..

Sountrack of the day: 'Fighter' by Christina Aguilera

So the news is out: the new President of MAPIA (Indonesian Association in my campus) is a female. Guess which female it is ;)
The news, naturally, gives me mix feelings: the biggest one is definitely pride.
After who I am in my family's eyes, life tells me that it's not who I truly am; after all the nasty things I'm told that I am, life tells me that it's so not true.
I've just discussed about it with my best friend the other day. In my family, my opinion will be the last to be asked. Among my friends, it's the opposite. In my family, it never happened before that I'm allowed to take any decision. Well, that's definitely not the case when I'm outside. In my family, I'm just unlovable indecisive selfish little girl. Among my friends...well, you can ask them whether it's true.
What I'm trying to say is, don't let your family -or anyone else in this matter- define you. Whole your life, people will try to tell you that you are this and you are that (both in positive understanding and negative). If it's a compliment, thank them, keep humble and stay being yourself. If it's an insult, thank them, keep humble, stay being your best self, and prove them wrong!
Another thing that I'm trying to say is, people say that it's family who will always stand by you no matter what --I say, think again. Most of the time, it's our family who'll try to put us down.

Anyway, the second biggest feeling, however, anxiety plus nervousness.
Am I the right person for the position? Can I sustain the good name of MAPIA? Can I meet -or better, surpass- people expectations of me? Well, if I think about it narrow-minded-ly, I'm terrified. But I shouldn't worry, I'm surrounded by great people, great friends, great teammates. What I can't do, what I'm lacking, I know will be fill up by their strengths. Together, we'll create a great team, for a better name of MAPIA!

"You are who you choose to be. Now, choose." -Green Goblin

Things you might not want to know about me...

...but you need to.

1. I'm mixed of Chinese-Javanese. But only a quarter of Javanese, from my grandma from my father's side.
2. Whether you believe in things like zodiac or not, I'm a Sagittarius, and I feel that the traits of the sign represents my personality so much. So, if you want to know what I'm like, you can just read about Sagittarius ^^
3. I love everything I love for a reason (or reasons). I don't love something blindly.
4. It takes a lot to make me hate someone. But when I do, I'll take forever for me to forgive him/her. And believe me, 'forever' is a long time.
5. I like perfume. One that I use for me is Elizabeth Arden's Provocative Interlude.
6. My favorite flower is chrysanthemum, NOT rose.
(In case you're wondering, because chrysanthemum smells nice even when it dies. Rose smells like corpse when it's withered)
7. My favorite precious gem is Amethyst. I love the color range it has, magnificent!
8. I collect seashells, earrings, and flags (yup, countries flag. Anyone want to send me his/her country's flag?).
9. I've always loved vampires. Not just because of some stupid novel series *coughtwilightcough*. Vampires are sexier than werewolves!
10. I love butterflies. They are pretty, and they represent change. Beautiful change.
11. When I was younger, I wish I was a spider. Cos I thought 8 hands would come, erm, handy.
12. I love purple (indigo, actually) cos it's the royalty color. Believe me (if you don't, you'd have to listen to me telling it, and I'm not sure you want that), it has a long history behind the color purple.
13. I have an archenemy. Still don't really like her, but I guess as we grow up, we learn to forgive people...
14. I'm NOT mysterious. I'm an open book, it's just up to you whether you want to read me.
15. I LOVE Westlife. Sue me if you don't like it.
Westlife is the one who introduced and taught me English.
16. I adore, respect, inspired by Alexander the Great. He's such a interestingly complex character.
17. When I'm upset or have a lot in my mind, there are only two things that can distract me: reading or writing.
~Books are my drugs. I'm addicted to them, and they take me places..
~I don't talk about my feelings, I write them...
18. I've just realize something: for presents, I don't like soft toys or flowers.. I prefer cards! Especially one that's handmade, hehe..
19. In my spare time, or in my depressing time, to entertain myself I like to watch movies and crocheting.

**more to come