Remember some time ago
I had a question: When two persons you respect are disrespecting each other, do you stop respecting either one?
I finally found a concrete answer, which is
a resounding YES.
It might not be too clearly black and white. It might not happen immediately. But you
will lose your respect for one of them eventually. I found this answer, unfortunately, through personal experiences. I realised, this tendency to lean towards one side is because of our
values. Or more precisely, the conflicting of those values.
What are values? No, not the monetary worth of something. I'm talking about the other kind of values:
The principles or standards of behaviour; one's judgement of what is important in life.
Everyone has values. Positive or negative, everyone has their own view of what they hold as important, that they use as the cornerstone of their lives.
For the positive examples, some people value honesty, or honour. So in everything they do, they will try to be honest, or honourable, even though they might get into trouble (Ned Stark, anyone?).
For the negative examples, it could be materialism, the value that put things as more than human beings.
When you respect someone, I find, it's because you have similar values. If you're an honest person, you'll only respect honest people, whether you realise this or not.
So if the 2 people you respect, are disrespecting each other, most probably there's a contradiction of values there. But as we know from a wise man, contradiction cannot exist in one place, so you'll drop one of them in the end.
“Contradictions do not exist. Whenever you think that you are facing a contradiction, check your premises. You will find that one of them is wrong.”
- Francisco d’Anconia
I find this true in love as well.
We might fall in love because of various reasons. But we
stay in love when we share the same values. When a couple in a relationship don't share the same values, you'll see that the relationship will fall apart faster than you can say "Francisco d'Anconia".
