Black Swan

So, even though I spent my Valentine's Day as a single (only on that day, ok), I had a lot of fun. Yes, I'm that kind of person that like to celebrate days, unlike some people.

Started the Day of Love suck-ily, including bashing someone at the Ministry of Manpower, but I had fun nevertheless.

Went out with my friends to watch the long-awaited movie, Black Swan. Yep, the one by Darren Aronofsky and with Natalie Portman in it. First got mixed between The Cathay and Cathay Cineplex of Singapore (as I always do. Sorry, guys), but we made it to the right cinema, and thus to the movie, just in time.

It's a dark movie.

That's what can be said about it in short. If you're suicidal, please don't watch the movie.

Oh well, seems like that's the only thing you can expect from a director that made Requiem for a Dream.

It's a mysterious movie even the way it's produced. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I've been a movie enthusiast whole my life, and I haven't encountered a movie that has 7 different promotional posters that are equally distributed and only 2 stated the name of the director. Isn't it funny that he prefers to be known as 'the director of The Westler' rather than 'Darren Aronofsky'?

And most of them are in the color of black, red, and white.

To my fellow conspiracy theorists, you must know what it means.

For my fellow movie enthusiasts, esp. those who already watched the movie, don't you find it odd that Natalie Portman should play such character? When I got the ticket, I noticed that they printed M18 hugely. When I watch the movie, I thought it's only appropriate. If you're underage, going with a children, or a sex addict, please don't watch the movie.

But I love it.

To be honest, the only other movie I've seen by Aronofsky is Requiem (cos there's Jared Leto in it! *promotion*).

I think I should go watch The Fountain and The Westler now.

But from both movies, I can already draw the distinct styles of the director.

The camera panning, the switching between scenes, the lighting, the synchronization of the visual and the audio, and smooth blend between real shots and CGI.

And the music. Both Requiem and Black Swan had taken the famous music from legendary composers. In this particular movie, the original music from Tchaikovsky was "played backwards and in a distorted manner".

How cool is that.

The soundtracks of the movie stuck in my head long after I went back home, esp. the last scene where Nina performed as the Black Swan. And I don't usually remember musics. It's just all brilliant.

Cinematography aside, the story talks about ambition, obsession, and control, both to ourselves and to other people. It reminds us, everything that's excessive is not good.

There's also the play on mirrors. Mirrors seldom fail in spooking people up, but Aronofsky takes it to the next level.

Then there's the acting and the dancing. Gosh, I forgot how much I loved ballet. Natalie Portman is not only admirable as an actress, but also as a ballerina. Watching her as Nina, one can really see how dedicated she was for the movie. I shall not say further, lest I ruin the movie for you.

Oh yeah, you really should go and watch the movie. Esp. guys, you don't want to miss out the kissing scene between Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis.

"I was perfect."

730th day

"I want you to know that no matter what happens between us in the future, I’ll always look back and fall in love all over again with you."

My favorite love songs of all time

-:Y- Hear-melting -Y:-

Christina Aguilera: Without You, Bound to You.

Robbie William: Angels.

Westlife: Every Little Thing You Do, Close, In This Life, That's Where You Find Love.

-:Y- Fun -:Y-

Boyzone: All That I Need

Taylor Swift: Hey Stephen, Mine.

10/27/10

An inception of an idea

Had a chat with one of my close friends today. I don’t know what got into him when he suddenly said, “How about you created a blog that completely dedicated to write about your boyfriend alone?” My first reaction was, “Are you crazy?” cos the sweet things that I wrote about my bf in my private diary will surely make even Shakespeare blushes and the bad things I wrote about him would make him enrage. Besides, I already have ten blogs under me (literally, which half of them I never updated anymore).

However, after one, two blank blinks, I actually think it’s a good idea. It would be a memento, a white board, and a decoder at the same time. A memento for myself, that decades from now, I’ll be able to look back and remember how much I’ve been loved and how much I’ve loved. A white board for other girls out there, to learn from my love story and decide for themselves, what kind of guy they should choose to accompany them in their life journey. A decoder for guys who keeps saying that girls are difficult to understand, so by reading my blog, they’ll see a relationship from a girl’s perspective.

So I’ve been thinking about it all the way home from my campus. I decided that I’d titled it Journey on Mars. No, not a plagiarism from 30 Seconds to Mars, although they are an inspiration. I just don’t want the title to be mushy like The Love of My Life or random like the one my friend recommended: Zee Zho Zhall Zot Ze Zamed (from He-Who-Shall-Not-be-Named). Just something easy to remember, artistic, and represent the purpose of the blog.

So.. look out. The Journey will start anytime soon. Thanks, kid, sometimes you’re quite inspirational too (translation: kadang2 loe pinter jg yah).

Hot and cold

Really, honestly, truly? There are only two things I want to see before I die, and they're the opposite of one another. Two of the most magnificent things on earth. One is of nature, one is of mankind. Both are mysterious. Both are my absolute favorite things on earth, yet I haven't seen both for real.

When I was younger, I had this friend whom I made scrapbook with. And in the book, we called ourselves 'winter girl' and 'summer girl' :D Guess which one am I? ;)

I've learnt..

..it's important to reply what other people leave on your Facebook wall.

Otherwise, there could be misunderstandings and sometimes, it could be hurtful.

Yep, that's how much Facebook has changed our lives.

Cherish everyone that walks by your life (even the annoying ones!), cos someday, they might walk away and you'd never see them again.

..life should be like train: it has a purpose, it knows where it's going and it has the motion needed to reach that destination.

- as been said by Dagny Taggart of Atlas Shrugged

The funny things in life

Along the way, I notice that there are many things that are (ironically) funny about this life. Or to be exact, about people. Here are some of them. I'll update this post when I find more funny things..

Funny how there's more freedom of speech, but fewer people who speak up their minds.

Funny how there are many who are conceited, but few who can truly love themselves.

Funny how when you've never experienced something, you have no problem living without it. But once you've tasted something --anything.. you crave it, miss it, addicted to it.

Funny how people don't like to be lied to, but only a few who can handle the truth.

30 Seconds to Mars - Hurricane + Alibi (live acoustic piano) 19/03/2010 in Vienna

It's expensive to be a woman..

..when you're happy, you want to celebrate with shopping.

..when you're sad, you want to cheer yourself up with shopping.

..when you're bored, you want to fill your time with shopping.

..when you're sick, you want to make yourself feel better with shopping.

But don't worry boys, SOME girls actually know how to earn their own money to spend (and some boys actually ask money from them).

Mrs. vs Mistress

I had a dream last night. I think I read Atlas Shrugged too much; too obsessed. The dream was very much like the lame Korean TV series (sorry for those who's insulted), but nevertheless affected my mood in the morning. Esp. when I'm not a morning person and I'm pretty much bored in this glorious Saturday.

Anyway, the gist of the dream was, my bf in the real world -Z- was actually married and I'm just his mistress. In the dream, I had an illness and was dying (told ya it's like Korean TV dramas!). Ironically, Z's wife was my friend but she didn't know about our affair and she's the one who came to my house to take me to hospital. When I was in her car, Z was there, with their children too. But Z refused to talk to me, or even acted like he knew me at all.

It feels so sad. You know how the feelings are real even though it's just a dream. And it got me thinking, I used to think that it's better to be mistress (no arguments yet, please):

Wife: Clean up the house, take care of the kids, cook, wash, iron, deal with the in-laws, live at the mercy of monthly allowance from the husband, no time to dress up and exercise > accused of being ugly slob.. *the list goes on*

Mistress: Need only to attend to the guy once in a while, have time for career and exercise and shop, get expensive stuffs and gifts from the guy, no need to attend to the in-laws.

Well, you get the idea. But of course, I know better now. The above statements work only when you don't love the guy. When you do love the guy, it's miserable to be the second lady -or nobody at all, depends on the mercy of the guy. Imagine the feeling of being abandoned when you need him and how he won't recognize you in public. Imagine the torment (esp. when you're dying like in my dream)!

So remember the next time you're in a cross-road of choices: don't ever want to be the number 2 and don't ever get involved with an attached guy. I can give you a long cliché reasons and arguments, but here's a short one: if you believe you deserve nothing less than the best things, don't.

Additions: Seems like this blog has aroused lots of strong opinions. I guess I have to straighten few things out. So don't complain if this most has become longer, you better read it all, you asked for it.
First of all, the reason why I mentioned Atlas Shrugged is cos there's a sideways story of the main character where she's become a so-called mistress. That particular story affected me so much that I kept thinking about it. And that's probably why I dreamt what I dreamt, cos when I read/watch something, I tend to think too much about it. When I think too much about it, I tend to dream about it.

Secondly, I said 'lame Korean dramas' just for the story line. I didn't compare or mix the two (Atlas Shrugged and Korean dramas) together; there's no way for me to do so. The story line of my dream is lame, but there's nothing lame about the feelings. Imagine you're at the edge of life and the person you love the most was there, but refuse to acknowledge you. It's not lame, it's heartbreaking.

Thirdly, let's not take life literally, shall we. 'Wife' or 'mistress' are just labels. Failure of human language; my bad. What I meant earlier was, being the mistress is being the number 2 (or beyond) in a guy's life. You could be married to him legally, have a ring with his name on it on your ring finger, but if he couldn't care less if you leave him anytime, then you're not more important than his job or his maid, therefore, you're just a mistress by definition.
Or on the other side, you both could be just 17 y.o., but he shares everything with you, from his dreams to his phobia, from his strengths to his weaknesses. Then you're already his "wife". Get it? Oh well, "if you don't understand, I can't explain it."