~Audi alteram partem~

You know your part of the story. Now hear the other side.
Cos everyone just want to be heard
.

Totally random..

Just some of my favourite movies:

Requiem for a Dream
"I love you, Harry. You make me feel like a person. Like I'm me... and I'm beautiful." 

Closer
"What's so great about the truth? Try lying for a change, it's the currency of the world."

10,000 BC

"Some truths do not survive the ages."

Number 23
"There's no such thing as destiny. There are only different choices. Some choices are easy, some aren't. Those are the really important ones, the ones that define us as people."

Shutter Island
"Did you know that the word 'trauma' comes from the Greek for 'wound'? Hm? And what is the German word for 'dream'? Traum. Ein Traum."

iFever

Have you heard the news? iPad was released and iPhone 4 is going to be released soon.
So, there's iSync, iTunes, iWork, iWeb, iMac, iPod Touch, iPhone, iPod Shuffle, iPod Nano, back to iPhone. Did I mention iDVD, iMovie, iPhoto, iDisk? And.. oh, iPhone one more time. Then let's not forget the most majestic of them all, the iPad.
[Wait right there, if you expect this to be a review of the technology, there's no such thing here. You'd only find my rants].
There are two things that bother me here, as much as I like Apple and worship Steve Jobs:

First, Apple is known for their creativity of inventing new things and make their customers believe that they need those things. Then, WHY THE HECK CAN'T THEY INVENT A BETTER NAMING FOR THEIR PRODUCTS? It's starting to get on my nerves.

Second, like I said, Apple (or rather, Steve Jobs) is gifted in telling people that it has invented new things/technology and that they'd need those things. But do we really? Let's see in particular for this iPad thing..

First, the use. So it's a hybrid between a PDA and a laptop (or, how I see it, a PDA that stuck mid-way in its evolution to be a laptop). Was it not intended to be an ebook? Then why does it include a virtual keyboard, web browser, is heavy, and not something that's nicely fit our grip, especially in the toilet? Was it intended to replace laptop? If so, why can't it multitask, open Flash, and -although I heard rumors that it can run up to 10 hours- Jobs didn't mention anything about a strong battery life(time)?

Second thing, the price. The prices of iPad range is between US$ 400-850 which approximately S$ 700-1200. So we have a desktop at home, a laptop in the room, a handphone in the bag, an MP3 player in our pocket (a PDA in another pocket, for some people. An additional PSP in the bag, for some other people), do we really need to buy one more gadget that doesn't really have a special purpose in its life or a special place to fit in? This is what I call the conspiracy of consumerism, when the society backed (or brainwashed) by commercial companies to force poor people in that society "work in a job you hate, to buy stuff that you don't need," and finally, "to impress people that you don't like".
Welcome to the universe.

Oh well.. anyway, don't mind me.. The truth is, I'm just jealous that those Apple products are out of my league of budgeting. Now, go buy your futuristic keyboardless laptop.
Not said, not told, not shown.. but doesn't mean it doesn't exist..

Red

Here's a song by Jordan Catalano, written either about the girl he's been liking... or about his car.

I was going nowhere, going nowhere fast.
Drowning in my memories, living in the past.
Everything looks dark till I found her.
She's all that I need now, that's what I said.
Oooh ooh ooh, I call her red.
I call her red.

She's my shelter from the storm.
She's the place to rest my head.
Late at night she keeps me safe and warm.
I call her red.. I call her red.

Do you want conspiracy with that theory?

Remember I told you about all those conspiracy theories the other day? Well, I got it going again lately. Can't help it.. everyday life is boring. Conspiracy theories are fun, help me to escape this boring and dull life i'm living. I found this website that basically talks about Fremasonry/Illuminati symbolism in pop culture. At first, it talks about Lady Gaga being a newbie to Illuminati and now she's currently a vigour campaigner of the club. Of course that's very interesting for me, especially when i found her lyrics are bizarre (I'm into songs lyrics too, btw).

So I keep reading and one thing lead to another, and I stumbled on the same website an article on the website that talk about 2009 VMA and how it is only a huge hidden occult ceremony. The writer of the article can really explain phase by phase why he thinks it is a huge stage hidden occultism. It's all logical.

I was so excited. Then I tried to tell my bf about it. You know how fun it is when you're excited about something, you tell someone, then you both discuss about it. I think it's not guys thing. All I got from my bf was "Why are you reading these things?" with why-are-you-reading-these-things-get-a-life look. I have a friend that also into these things with me, and, when we have the chance, always discuss it for hours. But he's doing his final year project now, so he doesn't really have time now. Ooh..how I miss times like that sometimes..

Anyway, I realize I ramble pointlessly in this post (more pointless than ever). Just want to let you know of the existence of these conspiracy theories (but, of course, it's just for fun). So I guess I'll just end your misery right here.
It's always the 'why' that trigger people.
For the people I love, and who claimed that they love me, and asked why am I such an abhorrent person:
"Cos you don't love me the way I want you to."

One hundred million things

Feel so empty lately. I think it must be a hype or a contagious disease or something cos everyone I know is feeling the same too. Or maybe it's just a natural part of growing up (if it's not quite obvious, I'm being sarcastic).
"Tried to write new poems, cos usually that what I do to get things out of my chest. But all that I can think of is just random sentences that don't quite related to one another. Like a box of all the wrong pieces of puzzle. It's all doesn't make sense.

Once upon a time, not so long ago, I was so driven. New drive to experience new things, being a new better person.
"I try to be someone else, but nothing seems to change. 
I know now, this is who I really am inside."

Driven to study, to meet new friends, organize some events, do some volunteering. It's all gone now. It's all feel pointless. Study fees hard to find, what's the point of wasting thousands of dollars? I can't even keep my old friends, let alone fine new ones. Events are just a waste of money and energy. There are many others ready to do or already doing the things need volunteering. I'm just another drop in the ocean, another face you pass in the crowd, another existence wasted.

Once upon a time, not so long ago, I was happy. I was a part of a group made of smart people, who do things for others, to contribute. I was a part of a dynamic class, people who come to class in time, respect their lecturers, do their homework. Now I am only a part of power-hungry people who don't even know how to change their own diapers. A classmate of people who come an hour late for the class, and roll their eyes and stick their tongues at the lectures, slam the door at the lecturer when she told them they're not allowed to switch tutorial group.
I want to go back to that happy times. Happy.. like Alexander said, only when you look back do you know that was the happiness. There it was, in the past. You're too late.

[Another reason why you shouldn't take things, right here right now, for granted].

Just finished watching a (really) long movie about Hitler [or some call it a really truly miniseries], thanks Mr. Matahari for generously lending me his DVD. Still, I don't understand what's with this guy, why did he hate Jews so much. I never really read anything on him, never really want to. I watched the movie, there's only one emotion that I feel (out of him and on myself): hatred. Why was Hitler so full of hatred? His life was bad, yes, but there are many who had worse (Nelson Mandela, for one) who turned out to be just alright, or even became a messenger of peace.

It's not easy, of course, to understand how these great people think. I read so many books and articles on Alexander the Great, before I finally see a glimpse of what motivates him: his father. Both admiration and hatred for the father. But still, that's just my conclusion. The real thing, who'd ever know..

On another perspective, both Hitler and Alexader made good leaders. People were afraid of them, maybe, but most of them gladly supported them. Why? I heard leadership is about influence. What made both Hitler and Alexander (plus Genghis Khan, Obama, Cleopatra, you name it) so influential? What made them good leaders? Compassion for their followers? I'm not sure for Hitler, and I'm suspicious not for Napoleon as well. Their great visions? Maybe, but how did they convinced their followers? Ah..so many questions of how and why..

What keeps them going is more complicated. Ambition? Glory? Pride? Greed (like one of my friends said)? A yearn for a change? ..Hatred? Alexander fought on in his war in India when he severly wounded. Achilles (even though he's a mere myth) went to Greek even though it meant he won't live long enought to come back home. Cleopatra's willing to be called Caesar's whore just to keep Egypt safe and strong. And, back to Hilter.. even though he's imprisoned, he kept going on.
Oh, well, I guess it's different for each person, what keeps them going on in their little journey called life.

So.. what keeps YOU going? ;)

Those 5Cs..

There is this special term in Singapore to see if a guy is worth marrying or not: does he have 5Cs? It stands for Cash, Car, Credit card, Condominium, and membership(s) of Country club [sometimes the package comes with additional C: child(ren)]. Like any other sarcastic joke, noone can tell for sure when or how did the term start. But, to put it simply, it shows you what kind of things that these people values. They think that by having these things (or having the person who have these things), their lives would be easier. But, oh well, who am I to comment on it.. Move on to the next topic..

Singaporeans indeed should start to worry about 5Cs these days, but not the usual ones, but the ones that everybody has a share, no matter from which economy status they come from: the 5 degree celcius, that is. Ok, maybe not exactly 5°C, but you know what I mean. The increase in temperature that's happening lately. This is not an essay, so I won't give you facts and figures or literature references. But you know you can feel it. The temperature is rising.
Weather reports might show projection about the topic, the government might deny it, and experts might living in denial . But can your skin deny it (it's an interesting word, deny is, try to repeat it 7 times in your mind)? Step outside of your house or office, and feel it for yourself.
Then what's the point of my post this time? There's no point, I just want to rant how freaking hot can this place be! Is it really nearing the 2012? I hope August comes soon

Money, money, money..

Soundtrack of the day: Money, Money, Money by Abba

So I had a fight with a CERTAIN SOMEONE (if you know me, it's quite obvious who that someone is. The only person whom I'm willing to, and can, fight with), few days ago. Can't remember whether it's Sunday or Monday night.
It's so ridiculous. Everything was started just because he ask if he's really an extreme person (as in when he believes something). So I said yes, because when he likes something he keeps repeating that something till he bleeds (or you do).
It was because he fought with his current gf and still can't get over his previous one. And it's all because he's too controlling till the point compulsiveness. Hence, he's an extreme person.

From the question, he moved on saying he's feeling angry every time someone is rude or not respectful to someone older. I replied, I don't care if someone is older, if that someone is rude, of course I won't be polite to him.
That's when the argument goes to my dad. I said I don't respect him cos, first of all, he doesn't respect me and second of all, cos he doesn't respect himself. [I said many more other things, but I shouldn't say it here. If you'd like to know, call me].

Long story short, from there he started to accuse me, 'That's your problem, you're one rude person.' And started to list my sins from 10 years ago. That's including my mom's perception (who is not on earth anymore since 6.5 years ago, btw) and my dad's opinion. Including why I wasn't or am not respected by my family: because I was a liar.

Which he concluded by saying, 'Do you know why I didn't transfer you money last month? Because you're being disobedient. I told you so many times to clean up the room, but you just wouldn't. 'I learnt from David D'Angelo [a devil he worships] that you shouldn't be too nice to girls. When she starts to be disobedient, you should punish her. One thing that I learnt from dad is that your weakness is money, everytime I give you less money, you'll be nice to me. So I didn't give you money.'

He can go to hell with that. First, I'm impudent, then I'm a liar, now I'm materialistic. All of the three, I take the most insult in the last one. I answered him, "That's precisely why I don't respect you, and dad. You try to control people. And the more you try to be less like dad, the more you grow up exactly like him."
What I meant was, my dad is also a worshipper of money and power. He'd sold me if that means people will think he's awesome.

I share this because I want people (at least those who's reading this) to know, to learn, to understand the lesson of the story:
Come on, how many thousands of times has it been said? How many times more do you need to hear it? Money can't buy happiness. And you bet that money can't buy family.
The most valuable things in this world, you gotta earn. EARN, not buy [well, sometimes you're given, like love. But, again, you don't -can't- buy]. You want respect? Be respectful, earn it.
You want to be respected? Respect other people first.
And remember, the love of money is the root of all evil^. Remember, not the money itself, but it's THE LOVE of money that is evil. Be careful.

money