One of the happiest days of my life...

Gues what! I took part in audition of BTI [Bintang Tionghua Indonesia (Indonesia Chinese Star --sound weird in English *lol*) that is], and... I passed! Well, only to the semifinal, but that is sooo good already.
There were 4 judges in the audition; 2 men and 2 women. They asked us [the participants] to do expression of gladness, anger, sadness, and happiness. Yeah, at first I was confused too, what's the different between gladness and happiness. Then I understood -watching the other participants before me- that gladness is like when you smiling at something funny, but happiness is like when you win 1-million-dollars lottery. So I did the expressions, to my surprise, the judges said my 'sadness' was not obvious. I thought the only expression I'm good at is sadness. So one of the judges wanted me to act out some kind of scene: where my mother had already died, and I cried "please don't leave me...!" Oh yeah, that is so oh-what-a-coincidence. My mom HAD already died [but of course I didn't tell the judges that or otherwise they would've changed the 'scene']. And do you realize what the weirdest thing is? That is exactly what I said when my mother passed away: Mom, please don't leave me...!

Anyway, so I started to act... and I started to cry -real one. My voice became shaky and there were tears.. The judges were so impressed *lol*. But judge number one said "It's easy to shed tears in acting, but I can see your face still smiling". I was like "...what?!" Well, it's good though. It's all good. Haha..so I'm going to the semifinal on 19th. Oh, before that, my best mate Rosiana will have the audition on 15th. So I have to come to give her some support.

You know, what makes me happy passing this audition is not that I believe I will [or hoping to] get the part [read: becoming an actress], not at all, I know I'm sooo far from that. But passing this become some kind of...self proving. That "hey, I can act too". That finally at the very least, there's something I can do that some people appreciate. Besides, I took part for the experience, and I know I'll get so much from this.
Ugh, and you know what, the female judges said I'm beautiful [thank you!]. And Rosiana said she can't believe that I can did that, confidently. All she knew was the geeky shy Eva Berlin. Well people I'm overdue, give me some room, I'm coming through.

*lol* I'm glad I'm so much better than me years ago. I really have to thank my God, Jesus Christ. Selamat -my other best mate- was right, I really have to turn to God in everything :-)

It's my IELTS test today. As you all know, there are 4 parts in IELTS test: listening, reading, writing, and speaking. The first three were on 4th, today was speaking. I had no problem in listening and reading. But then in writing...the time is so not enough. So my grammar was like...sucks. They only gave us an hour, and the questions were "describe the graphs below" and "what do you think the advantages and disadvantages of private healthcare?" I don't even understand what on earth 'private healthcare' is [can someone tell me, please..?] I spent 40 minutes for the firstquestion alone, so when I got to question number two I thought whatever, I'll just write down whatever comes to my mind.
That is not the worst just yet. In speaking, I was asked many questions which I don't even know the answers in Indonesian [my mother language]. I'm talking about questions like:
"How do you think fashion has affect our world today?"
"Is it more important for teenager or older people to follow fashion?"
"Describe the clothes you bought recently, where did you bought it, and why do you bought it." I was thinking "Well, I did NOT buy any clothes LATELY". I end up talking crap about the dress I bought for my dad's wedding..
I'm so anxious waiting for the result. It would be so embarrasing if I fail the test, I'll be mocked to death if not for the rest of my life. Oh dear Lord Jesus Christ, please please please let me pass the test....

Films I've watched in my life...

I think it would be fun to note down films I've watched in my life.

It turns out to be very surprising how many movies I've watched over the years. Here's the list. I put links [for trailer] to the films that I reccomend and films which I think inconspicuous to many.

8mm
A Life Less Ordinary

A Smile Like Yours
Ace Ventura - Pet Detective
Ace Ventura - When Nature Calls
America's Sweethearts
Anaconda
Anna and the King
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery
Aquamarine
Back to the Future
Backflash
Batman Forever
The Beach
Bedazzled
Black Knight
Brokeback Mountain
Bruce Almighty
Butterfly Effect, The
Catch Me If You Can
Charlie's Angel
Chronicles of Narnia - The Lion, The Witch, and The WardrobeCleopatra [starring Leonor Varela]Click
Confession of A Teenage Drama Queen
Constantine
Date Movie
DaVinci Code, The
Death Becomes Her
Desperado
Die Hard
Die Hard: With A Vengeance
Dude, Where's My Car?

Ella Enchanted
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Evita
Eye of the Beholder
Eyes Wide Shut

Face/Off
Faculty, The
Fight Club
Flinstones, The
The Fog
Forrest GumpGirl Next Door, The
Gladiator
Glass House, The
Halloween H20: 20 Years Later
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Hell Boy
Hitch
Home Alone
How to Lose A Guy In Ten Days

I Know What You Did Last Summer
I Still Know What You Did Last Summer
Independence Day

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back!
Jerry Maguire
Joe Dirt
Jumanji
Jurrasic Park

Karate Kid, The

Lake House
League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, The
Look Who's Talking
Lords of the Rings: The Fellowship of the RingLords of the Rings: The Two TowersLords of the Rings: The Return of the King

Madagascar
Man In the Iron Mask, The
Marvin's Room
Mary Higgins Clark: All Around the Town
Matrix, The
Matrix Reloaded
Matrix Revolution
May
Mean Girls
Meet Joe Black
Men In Black I & II
Mexican, The
Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie
Mission Impossible I & II
Moulin Rouge
Mr. and Mrs. Smith
Mummy, The
Mummy Returns, The
My Best Friend's Wedding
My Big Fat Greek Wedding

New York Minutes
Notebook, The

Ocean's Eleven
Once Upon A Time In China
Panic Room
Passion of the Christ, The
The PatriotPearl Harbour
Perfume
Phantom of the Opera, ThePirates of the Carribean - Cursed of the Black Pearl
Pirates of the Carribean - Dead Man's Chest
Poltergeist
Primal Fear
Princess Diaries, The 1 & 2
Reach the Rock
Recruit, The
Ring, The
Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
Robocop
Romeo + Juliet
Saw I & Saw II
Scary Movie 1, 2, 3, 4.
Scent of A Woman
Scooby Doo
Scream 1, 2, 3Screwed
Se7en
See No Evil, Hear No Evil
Seven Years In Tibet
Shanghai Noon
Shanghai Knight
Shark Tale
Shrek I & II
Sign
Silent Hill
Sixth Sense
Sleeping With the Enemy
Sleepy Hollow
Sound of Music, The
Spiderman I & II
Spy Kid
Steal [aka Riders]
Stepford Wives, The
Striking Poses
Sweetest Thing, The
Swordfish

Taxi 3
Terminator
Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The Quick and the Dead
There's Something About Mary
Titanic
Troy
Truman Show, The

Van Helsing
Vannila SkyWar of the Worlds, The
WasabiWicker Park
Winning London

X-Men
X2: X-Men United
X-Men: The Last Stand
xXx

I'm soo broken hearted...

Would you date this girl? Oh I know you just would...

HOT, isn't she?
But, sorry guys, she's taken.. by Kian Egan of Westlife *sob-sob*. Her name is Jodi Albert, she's an Irish actress, acted on Hollyoaks. Notice how he held her hand in this interview *sob harder*:

-Attack-

I just love this music video; the effect is awesome, Jared's voice is fantastic, not to mention the song itself is powerful! But one thing that bothers me from the start: Is that Jared kissing the girl @ 1:51?

The world of tomorrow

This morning I dreamt about a place, a hospital. When I went in there are a lot of doctors and nurses [or I thought so, because they're wearing white robes], and there are also pregnant women everywhere. But the scary thing is, when I went to look at their babies, the babies are imperfect, disabled. Then someone told me that this is the organs bank. So the women here was forced to have babies, then they just use the babies to get the organs they want. Scary.

Is it the world of tomorrow or is it already happening?

Lessons I've learnt lately --and STILL AM learning

God loves you. No matter you believe it or not.
And by the way, God exist, no matter you believe it or not [but you'd better believe it though] -030906

I've learnt that if you want have a good relationship with people around you [and with yourself], you have to start with your relationship with God. -120706

We should do some crazy things before we grow too old to do that -200706

I've learnt that tomorrow is not alway better than today. So I learn to appreciate today.
I've learnt that tomorrow will only be better if you already work on it. -120706

The way you look at people is very important, very affecting. -190306

If you don't want to get hurt, don't put your trust to anyone, no matter how convincing he/she is. But if you really love someone, you wouldn't mind to get hurt -030906

And finally, after so long, I've learnt what true love is.
True love is when you're being forsaken, you still love him. Even when he save the other person first, not you, from drowning, you still love him. -130706

Loving is giving happiness, not asking for it.
Loving is, "I want you to be happy, no matter what it means" -130706

And now I know what being loved truly is. Being loved is being not taken for granted. -090306

Truth is hurts [sometimes], but lies hurt even more -270906

In the end, everybody will grow old, grey and ugly. And what left is, what experiences you have to share with your children and grandchildren?
So I don't mind my skin become darker if I could just learn swimming :)) -190906

Don't be ashamed by what other people have done to you. Be ashamed by something you've done to other people -290906

Great things did not happen overnight -151006

Lessons I've learnt lately....the sequel

Lessons I've learned from my bro..
My bro is gonna kill me if he read this. But I think he's "...too busy" to do so. Even if he has the time, I don't think he cares enough to read MY blog.
Like I said: Truth is horrible sometimes. I am sorry, I'm just the messenger. And, we do need to hear the truth sometimes.

1.Don't pretend you're happy with someone's presence when you're not.
YOur little reactions will give you away. Like when you're get so excited when that someone is about to leave --THAT will give you away. 071006

2. How hurtful lies can be --but sometimes it is necessary [and okay] to do it.

3. Love relationship is such a waste of time in young age, except you love to rub and being rubbed --*sick face* rrrgh you know what I mean.

4. Buying expensive things and/or many things for someone does not necessary mean that you love that person. 151006
What I mean is, when you love someone and intend to show him/her that you love him/her, there are millions things you can do other than buying them things.

5. Don't give when you're not asked to or when you don't feel like giving.
Because if you do, by the time that person ask something -he/she really needs- from you, you'd think you've given too much, then you'll get angry. 071006

6. It is true that this world is not fair, and we have to get used to it. But that does not give us the rights to do unfair things to other people.

7. Just because you/I don't see it, doesn't mean it didn't happen.

Soundtrack of the day: Where'd you go by Fort Minor

All about the HiLton

Today, I'm going to talk about PARIS HILTON. Yeap, spell that right: H-I-L-T-O-N

I was thinking about the old saying: Smart people make use of the circumstances they're in, wise people create the circumstances they want. Then an advertisement of Paris Hilton's single's turn up in front of my eyes, so I thought, "This girl must be a wise person, because when no recording company offer her a singing career when she wanted to sing, she built up her own recording company."

Okay now, you guys know I'm just kidding. Paris Hilton = brain; doesn't seem match for me.
The other day I was watching The Simple Life where in the end of the program, there's Paris trying to make coffee. She put the ground coffee [not instant coffee] in the glass and soaked in cold water, she took a sip, and with weird face she shouted to Nicole: "it tastes awful. Nicole..! Do you know how to make coffee..?"
Paris' fans say that the people who say bad things about her is just jealous of her. Yeah, I must admit that I am jealous of her. For her wealth..yeah [*roll eyes* who doesn't anyway?], but for not being able to do something like making coffee..? Like, never taste the coffee you made yourself?? *cross finger* Please God, don't let that ever happen to me...

Well, love Paris-H or hate Paris-H, what is this world gonna do without PARIS HILTON...

>>For more, well, whatever about Paris Hilton, click here<<
>>Paris' beauty [what?!]<<

There is no God? --Evolution my foot

Last night I was surfing youtube.com when I came across this video --a video trying to prove that God does not exist. Without doubt, there are a lot of comments on this video. Comments from people who support that 'there is no God' and people who opposing the idea. And of course, I don't want to be left out, so I left a comment which says: "hm...If God doesnt exist, then WHO created us?". And some guy answer: "evaberlin, you need to learn more about evolution". I almost laugh to dead reading that answer. No offence, I was just thinking, even IF the evolution ever did happen, then who the hell in this universe created the "first-ever" particle/substance/atom/whatever?

This whole God-does-not-exist thing reminds me a debate which took place in my class when I was in my last year in Senior High School. We were talking about evolution in the Biology class. Then me and my friends [8 people out of 40 in that class] were thinking "this isn't right", so we declared: we are disagree. Instantly, the class were divided into two sides, those who support evolution and those who do not. 8 against 32 [when the teacher ask who will be on 'no-evolution' side, nobody moves a hair].So the long debate was begun. There were debate from science side and religion side. I’ll just tell you the talk over religion side [because if I tell you the science side, I’ll able to write a novel].

So, let’s put it this way, there is NO God. The universe was blank [Imagine a dark empty room] No air, no light, no gasses, nothing. Suddenly, out of nowhere *puff* some certain of gas was pop out. Nobody made it, it self made [hey, there was NO God] that means it’s great, so the gas started multiply itself to oxygen, hydrogen, nitrogen, e t c.
So after I don’t know how many million years, the gasses have become solid and created something called rocks, which have become planets. And one planet -somehow- became so hot it burns. Other -somehow- have ring. Other -somehow- became red. Others -somehow- reflect the light from that burning planet. And one...-somehow- became so cool, that it makes it possible for living things to live in it [later, when we already evolute to intellegent animals, we called it earth]. But it was too cold, so somehow, the earth reduced its temperature [*yawn* oh let’s just fast forward it].

Through many trials and tribulations, the earth's climate was then perfect. So those great gasses fused together resulting something alive --*drum roll* the ancestor of everything. It breathed, it ate, then somehow it grew to something bigger. Some of these things lived in the water, some lived on the land. Some become fish which later will become flying animal [or birds, if you want to call it]. Then, some became the ancestor of monkeys and human. What bothers me a lot is, if that ancestor can evolute to monkeys AND human, why not the ancestor of horse evolute to horse AND human-horse who -like human- could've been able to build cities, learn math, then together with us arguing about evolution and God? Oh no, wait, is that why there's something called centaur...?

Well, anyway, that’s it. So, “evolution” makes sense? ... *laugh to dead*