Love~

I think I'm in love.
But I don't know whether it is love.

This kind of feeling can be very deceiving.
There are times when I'm missing him so much.
Remembering our silent conversation.
Remembering the things that we've shared to each other.
Dreams, fear, worry, laugh, anger. Everything.

There are times when I hate him so much.
For coming to my life... then dissappear
                without a trace.
For giving me so much joy... then take it away
                like I don't deserve it.
For teaching me to believe in love... then denying it himself.

There are times, I really want him to know:
You mean so much for me.
You know I'd give everything for you
                but you also know that I don't have everthing.
If you want me to stay, I will do just that.
If you want me to go away, because you happier that way
                                                ...I will do just that.

There are times I hate myself.
Because I never had the courage to tell him everything I want him to know.
Soundtrack: That's Where You Find Love by Westlife

10July06 --the whole story

I walk down the stairs, get in to the car.
Forget about him.
And close the door.
I cant.
I sit... and look up.
You don't love him.
I know you would be standing at the window, I was right.
I do.
You're looking down, in the darkness that surrounding.
Oh, I love him.
I'm almost sure you are looking at me, but wait...
She's in the car too.
But he doesn't love me...
I curse my human eyes... cos because of them I cant see your face clearly.
Or does he..?

10July06

I'm sitting here, at the backsit.
Looking up to you, standing at your window, looking down.
Who are you looking at, boy?
Me..? Or she, at the front sit?
I've never stopped wondering..

Soundtrack: If I let you go by Westlife

Hantu~

Pada suatu waktu
Aku terbaring terpaku
Ketika sebuah angan menerpaku
Betapa hidup takkan berliku
Bila aku bisa menjadi hantu

Bukan hantu bertaring berambut kaku
Bukan pula hantu berbaju putih bermata sayu
Hanya aku, diriku, tapi hantu

Hidup akan sepi, aku tahu
Tanpa keluarga, dan teman tempat mengadu
Tidak mengetahui indahnya baju baru
Tidak pula mengenakan sepatu

Tapi bukankah itu yang kita mau?
Untuk apa ada keluarga bila sama tak bisa mengadu?
Ada teman, tapi tak bisa bersatu?
Tau indah, tapi tak ada uang untuk membeli baju
Juga tidak untuk membeli sepatu baru
Menggantikan sepatu lama dari 5 tahun yang lalu
Tidak juga pusing ingin memilih makan singkong atau keju
Karena perut dan lidah telah kelu sebagai hantu
Juga takkan tersipu malu
Mendengar hinaan darimu

Ah, aku ingin menjadi hantu

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