~Audi alteram partem~

You know your part of the story. Now hear the other side.
Cos everyone just want to be heard
.

Showing posts with label On love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label On love. Show all posts
Some don't remember, most don't even know:
I'm a feminist.
Here's a lesson that I learnt: As soon as a guy (bf/husband/spouse of any kind) puts you below his friends, drop him and move on.
Drop him like a fungi-infested bread that you almost bite.

If he puts you below his god, god of any kind, it's good.
If he puts you below his family, it's even better.
But if he puts you below his friends.. run as fast as you can. You're better than that.
If he puts you below his work.. are you kidding me?! Do you even have to ask that?

Love is a leap of faith?

I'm sorry, I'm afraid to fall.
I don't want to be a fool.

730th day


"I want you to know that no matter what happens between us in the future, I’ll always look back and fall in love all over again with you."

My favorite love songs of all time

-:Y- Hear-melting -Y:-
Christina Aguilera: Without You, Bound to You.
Robbie William: Angels.
Westlife: Every Little Thing You Do, Close, In This Life, That's Where You Find Love.

-:Y- Fun -:Y-
Boyzone: All That I Need
Taylor Swift: Hey Stephen, Mine.

10/27/10

An inception of an idea

Had a chat with one of my close friends today. I don’t know what got into him when he suddenly said, “How about you created a blog that completely dedicated to write about your boyfriend alone?” My first reaction was, “Are you crazy?” cos the sweet things that I wrote about my bf in my private diary will surely make even Shakespeare blushes and the bad things I wrote about him would make him enrage. Besides, I already have ten blogs under me (literally, which half of them I never updated anymore).

However, after one, two blank blinks, I actually think it’s a good idea. It would be a memento, a white board, and a decoder at the same time. A memento for myself, that decades from now, I’ll be able to look back and remember how much I’ve been loved and how much I’ve loved. A white board for other girls out there, to learn from my love story and decide for themselves, what kind of guy they should choose to accompany them in their life journey. A decoder for guys who keeps saying that girls are difficult to understand, so by reading my blog, they’ll see a relationship from a girl’s perspective.

So I’ve been thinking about it all the way home from my campus. I decided that I’d titled it Journey on Mars. No, not a plagiarism from 30 Seconds to Mars, although they are an inspiration. I just don’t want the title to be mushy like The Love of My Life or random like the one my friend recommended: Zee Zho Zhall Zot Ze Zamed (from He-Who-Shall-Not-be-Named). Just something easy to remember, artistic, and represent the purpose of the blog.

So.. look out. The Journey will start anytime soon. Thanks, kid, sometimes you’re quite inspirational too (translation: kadang2 loe pinter jg yah).

Mrs. vs Mistress

I had a dream last night. I think I read Atlas Shrugged too much; too obsessed. The dream was very much like the lame Korean TV series (sorry for those who's insulted), but nevertheless affected my mood in the morning. Esp. when I'm not a morning person and I'm pretty much bored in this glorious Saturday.

Anyway, the gist of the dream was, my bf in the real world -Z- was actually married and I'm just his mistress. In the dream, I had an illness and was dying (told ya it's like Korean TV dramas!). Ironically, Z's wife was my friend but she didn't know about our affair and she's the one who came to my house to take me to hospital. When I was in her car, Z was there, with their children too. But Z refused to talk to me, or even acted like he knew me at all.

It feels so sad. You know how the feelings are real even though it's just a dream. And it got me thinking, I used to think that it's better to be mistress (no arguments yet, please):
Wife: Clean up the house, take care of the kids, cook, wash, iron, deal with the in-laws, live at the mercy of monthly allowance from the husband, no time to dress up and exercise > accused of being ugly slob.. *the list goes on*
Mistress: Need only to attend to the guy once in a while, have time for career and exercise and shop, get expensive stuffs and gifts from the guy, no need to attend to the in-laws.

Well, you get the idea. But of course, I know better now. The above statements work only when you don't love the guy. When you do love the guy, it's miserable to be the second lady -or nobody at all, depends on the mercy of the guy. Imagine the feeling of being abandoned when you need him and how he won't recognize you in public. Imagine the torment (esp. when you're dying like in my dream)!

So remember the next time you're in a cross-road of choices: don't ever want to be the number 2 and don't ever get involved with an attached guy. I can give you a long cliché reasons and arguments, but here's a short one: if you believe you deserve nothing less than the best things, don't.

Additions: Seems like this blog has aroused lots of strong opinions. I guess I have to straighten few things out. So don't complain if this most has become longer, you better read it all, you asked for it.
First of all, the reason why I mentioned Atlas Shrugged is cos there's a sideways story of the main character where she's become a so-called mistress. That particular story affected me so much that I kept thinking about it. And that's probably why I dreamt what I dreamt, cos when I read/watch something, I tend to think too much about it. When I think too much about it, I tend to dream about it.

Secondly, I said 'lame Korean dramas' just for the story line. I didn't compare or mix the two (Atlas Shrugged and Korean dramas) together; there's no way for me to do so. The story line of my dream is lame, but there's nothing lame about the feelings. Imagine you're at the edge of life and the person you love the most was there, but refuse to acknowledge you. It's not lame, it's heartbreaking.

Thirdly, let's not take life literally, shall we. 'Wife' or 'mistress' are just labels. Failure of human language; my bad. What I meant earlier was, being the mistress is being the number 2 (or beyond) in a guy's life. You could be married to him legally, have a ring with his name on it on your ring finger, but if he couldn't care less if you leave him anytime, then you're not more important than his job or his maid, therefore, you're just a mistress by definition.
Or on the other side, you both could be just 17 y.o., but he shares everything with you, from his dreams to his phobia, from his strengths to his weaknesses. Then you're already his "wife". Get it? Oh well, "if you don't understand, I can't explain it."
Have you ever love someone so much, you don't want to continue to do so cos it starts to hurt?

Hitchhiker’s Guide to Venus

Reading the Guide for Safe Dating for Men, I feel like I have to write something to set few things straight. After all, not all females are air stewardess, florist, or sex therapist. But anyway, this post isn’t that related to that one. So, how many times have you heard guys said that it’s so difficult to please a girl, that girls are so complicated? That’s what I’ve been hearing and buzzing louder in my ears louder lately.

For simplicity's sake, I’ll use 'us' as the representative of girls/females and 'you' as the representative of males. Disclaimer: I’m not an expert, nothing like that goddammed deAngelo, so what I write here by no means ever went through any research. It’s all just based on my observation and my experiences as one of those complicated creatures call the females.
We’re not simple, but we’re not that difficult as well. There's only one rule to keep a girl yours forever: make her the center of your world. Or at least make her think so. Now, the question of ‘how’ that's have different answers for different girl. Hence, that’s why you often hear that girls are difficult to please or to understand. Well, it’s because there's no one-size-fits all tricks to keep us happy. And let me tell you the annoying truth: we don’t know what we want either, most of the time. That’s why no need to ask us what do we want, cos that won’t work.
“A lady never knows what she might need.” Lady Ashley of Australia
But don’t be disheartened just yet. Just by always remembering the fact that we, girls, love that you worship us, you can avoid unnecessary broken plates and broken hearts. Here are a few samples of scenarios that might happen:

If she asks you to read a book, for Ares’ sake, just read it. If you’re not a reader and are too lazy to read, just read the summary somewhere in the internet or ask someone who has read it. Anything. Just make sure that you know what the book is about and know what to say when she talks about the book. If she buys you a book, READ IT. Even though you read one line a day, READ IT. You know what they say, no matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop. And you also know what they say, “Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.” (Joan Crawford).

Now, we know girls like to talk. But when your girl says ‘I want to tell you something’, perk your ears. Drop everything you’re holding, look at her. Your life might depend on it.
Another way to show us that you care is by being jealous. That’s right, be jealous of your girl. Some independent girl might tell you that she likes it that you never jealous of her. That it's cool that you trust her so much. Bla bla bla. Let me tell you. If you want to keep her, you better be jealous of her, at least once every full moon. Even werewolves need to be unleashed every once in a while to stay healthy. It’s like jealousy in a relationship. When you never question when she goes out with her bunch of friends, she’d conclude you don’t care. When you don’t question when she goes out with her best male friend.. uh oh..

Oh, there’s another thing I need to clear up. Men like to accuse us of being cruel by making them jealous. It’s not that we deliberately want to hurt you, we just want to see you care. Or simply take revenge cos you’ve been cruel to us by not being jealous.

“The problem with most men is they're assholes. The problem with most women is they put up with those assholes.” - Cher

也许你不会懂, 从你说爱我以后,
我的天空星星都亮了.

Did you check the mail today?
There might be a letter from me to you.
Telling you that I've been missing you.
That I'll walk miles and miles to meet you.
And I have. Only to find that you're not there.

Did you check the mail today?
I've been feeling lonely and all I wanted was to talk to you.
I called and you didn't pick up.
I sent a message and I never know if you received it.
So I sent a mail, but I guess you didn't check the mail box as well.

Now I realized..       You just don't care, you leave me alone like the letter in the box.

Red

Here's a song by Jordan Catalano, written either about the girl he's been liking... or about his car.

I was going nowhere, going nowhere fast.
Drowning in my memories, living in the past.
Everything looks dark till I found her.
She's all that I need now, that's what I said.
Oooh ooh ooh, I call her red.
I call her red.

She's my shelter from the storm.
She's the place to rest my head.
Late at night she keeps me safe and warm.
I call her red.. I call her red.

Tying the knot is suffocating

SotD: Underappreciated by Christina Aguilera.

Actually, I want this title to be the title of the book that I will write in the future. But 'future' is a a faraway place.
So here, I'll give you, few lucky people, a sneak peek to my future book.

When I was younger (well, I'm still young *ahem*), I made a promise to myself that I won't get married. I told that to a few close friends who quickly exclaimed "WHY NOT?!" As usual, secret spreads fast. So soon enough, most of my classmates knew about it (can't help it, I was so popular *cough*). And they all exclaimed "WHY NOT?!" Usually, I would answer, 'why should I?' But they wouldn't take that for an answer. That's how the idea of writing the book come about.

I started to list to myself all the reasons why I don't want to get married. I surprised myself: there are so many reasons. As this is a sneak peek, I'll only tell you one of the reasons (anyway, it'd be too long if I tell you everything and you won't read till the end): I don't believe in marriage.
Come on, who are we kidding? Why do people these days get married? Ask that to Westerners, they'd say, "cos we love each other". What's love? They'll stare at you blankly.
Ask that to Asians, they'd say, "cos we have to, if not, the family line won't go on". Now I'm the one who stare at them blankly.

Marriage should be a commitment. But what a does commitment mean when they can break it by divorce? It's only make the commitment more expensive. And worse when they already have kid(s). They stay together because they have to, not because they want to. It's a thing I hate to do, those must-do things. Well, when the arranged marriages were a trend, the couple had to stay together. But then, they accept it and they learn to love each other. Or at least, they learn to accept each other.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying this because I keep meeting horrible guys. I have one faboulous boyfriend, one wise god-brother or two, and a couple of great guy friends. But still, I don't believe in marriage. If we can keep our love strong for a lifetime, we don't need a label titled 'marriage' to stick us together.

If you still don't understand the whole thing I'm saying, this reason is described just right by 'Underappreciated', a song by Christina Aguilera (oh Christina.. still my hero). Old song, but in a way reminds me (still) why i don't want to get married.
Oh, the reason is also pictured nicely by the movie '500 Days of Summer', from Summer's perspective.

"Eagles fly alone." -AtG

John 4

Always feel so depressed lately. I don't know why. Just feel like I lose the will to live (not like it's something new). Everything's dark, everything's annoying. Everything's wrong. If I have just one wish, I wish I were never born. Let the traces of me be erased from the history of the world.

Oh, wanna talk about something that IS new: Finally, after devil-knows-how-many-weeks since the last time I did, I went to church yesterday (no, Felix, not your kind of church).
The church sucked as usual, the people were fake as usual. But there's something soothing: the sermon is about John 4:1-26. John has always been one of my favorite books in the Bible (yes, even a devil like me do read Bible sometimes). John is always different from Matthew, Mark or Luke in telling about Jesus. And this particular passage, tells about 'Jesus and the Woman of Samaria'.
I've read the passage so many times before, heard it preached in the church so many times before. But never did I realize what it means. It doesn't only show that Jesus have no problem mingling with other races or sinners, or both, but He also have no problem in mingling with women.

Sounds simple?
Not for me. Like I said, for me, it's something very soothing. Jesus isn't sexist. Jesus doesn't think that men are higher than women. Jesus doesn't think that women are lower than men. He practiced what He preached: everyone's equal.
I'm not talking about religion, I'm not talking about God. I'm not the person who has rights to talk about such things. I merely talk about a great historical figure, a brilliant philosopher, who wants us to see what true morality is.
This further reminds me the many things I've believed long time ago and have forgotten now. Somebody out there love you, not matter you want to believe it or not. Even if everyone left, you'll have One Person that will always stay. Treat everyone else the way you want to be treated.

MadLOVE

Random lovely quotes about love, from all around. No copyrigh infringement intended, just helping to spread the love.

I don't care about your imperfections that's what makes me adore you.

You had me from the day you smiled.

I don't like missing you. But I love having you to miss.

Let's kiss in the rain… Where the rain is so hard that the only thing we can see is each other.

So what if I think too much or if I over analyze things. So what if I can't eat or sleep… At least you'll know why. You're always on my mind.

He means the world to her and she doesn't even know it.

Sometimes one smile means more then a dozen roses.

I have more feelings for you, than any other girl ever will.


It's all just magic when I think about you. And when I'm not with you, I go crazy.


If a guy really likes you he'll listen to what you have to say and not what he hears from others.

You know you're in love when you see that someone and your heart flutters, your stomach gets butterflies, and the rest of the world disappears


We're all a little weird. And life's a little weird. And when we find someone
whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up in mutual weirdness and call it love.

It's completely impossible to find a guy who won't ever hurt you, so go for the guy who will
make the pain worthwhile.

Let's set the record straight. No one makes me smile quite like you do
3/4/7

How?

How do we know when someone truly loves us?

When he doesn't sms during your exam and reply after long after
--cos he wants you to concentrate on your work?
When he doesn't display your picture together in Facebook, because it's not necessary
--people already see you together in person?
When he doesn't upload your picture together, because he wants to keep it private
--only for your eyes and his?
When he tells noone about your relationship because he thinks people would see themselves
--you are together, that's the fact?
When he let go off your hand around his friends cos he wants to show you respect
--to show that he's not always all over you?

The things that I don't understand...

Life is not fair --get over it

Welcome to the greatest show
Greatest show on earth
You've never seen before
Here the fairytale unfolds


Some time ago, I read a ‘readers’ page’ in a magazine, in which a counselor will answer readers’ life questions. In that particular section that I read was a letter from someone asking a solution for a problem he’s facing at work. Well, it’s not important what was being asked, but the answer was the one that intrigued me. The counselor said, ‘Go in front of the mirror, and repeat to yourself 20 times: Life isn’t fair, life isn’t fair.’
It’s true, isn’t it? There are so many things in this life that we can’t change no matter how unfair they are.

The super rich people who have more money than they could possibly spend, and some don’t even have to work for it. Girls with bad attitude that find themselves meek husbands. The smarties that get straight As just by reading the lecture notes once, while the others have to study day and night for the whole term only just so they can pass.

The combination of the first and second case is the one that get my attention (and the purpose of this blog being written): the gold-diggers. They somehow are able to find, attract, and hook those kind of guys. Not only the boyfriends are willing to pay, but they are also gladly being abused too, both physically and mentally. It’s not that I’m materialistic (or I am, if you’d like to see it that way or call it so, whatever). But it is somewhat painful to see total bitches from hell get all the stuffs they want, paid by their not-so-gullible boyfriends. Whereas I’ve know quite a few girls who are so gentle, so nice, such perfect girlfriends, but they’re never being spoilt by their boyfriends. Some never even got any present from their boyfriend. How ridiculous is that?


I had a little talk with my best friend the other day, and we agreed that these days, guys are stingier than girls and they are more selfish than ever. They whine when they have to pay for the date, dinner or movie tickets, yet they buy “beauty items” to groom themselves. Difficult to say, though; who’s to say that it’s the boyfriend that has to take care of the girl materially? What’s the purpose of women emancipation at the workplace, then?
P.S: Here is the example of what I'm talking about ;)

Many notable things happened for the past few weeks: new activities, old friends, intermezzo here and there. But the most "memorable" of all is a ball in my campus --University of Newcastle Ball. What's special about the ball (beside the fact that it's full of important people both from my campus and my university)?
It's a masquerade. Whole my life, I'm dying to go to one.No joke about it, eversince I watched the Man in the Iron Mask, I've been dreaming to go to a masquerade. But it wouldn't be a dream if it comes true so readily. After trial and tribulations, it was after all, a bad dream..
Perhaps, it will only be wise if I don't go into details. The point is, it was a huge disappointment that the ball didn't go was I wish it to be. In my perfect scenario, I would went to the ball with my sufficiently-formal dress, adorned with a mask (it's a masquerade!), holding hands with my boyfriend, chatted up with my friends happily, took many picture, met and got to know many lecturers and seniors, danced the night away with my boyfriend, then close it with a slow dance and a kiss. Let's just say none of those really happened.
What went wrong? Dare I blame it on my boyfriend? Or was it just my fault that he looked so miserable beside me? Makes me wonder, if I was so ugly that night (or ever so) that he didn't want to hold my hand when we entered the ballroom? Was I so ungraceful that he didn't want to dance with me? Did I shame him somehow that he couldn't bear to wait till the slow song before going back?
He even refused to wear his mask even just for a minute --what's a masquerade without a mask? Yes, he was wearing specs, but is a minute too much to ask?
He didn't even say 'you look pretty tonight' matra. Only when a mentor of ours ask did he said it.
Never mind, it is all over anyway. Just another dream crushed
, more lessons learned (and few secrets revealed, it seems to me). When will there be another masquerade in town?

cerita cin(T)a --a story of Love

Well, it's a coincidence (if you believe the randomness of the universe) or a miracle (if you believe that everything is planned by The One Above).
I received an email from PPI (Association of Indonesian Students in Singapore) about a movie that touches a controversial issue (at least in Indonesia).

I just thought that I should share it with people. I haven't watched it, but here is the trailer for the movie:




It's lovely how the story questions not only about love, but also about God --God's love for us, and our love for God. Check out the official site:

.:: God is a director.com ::.

"This is a story of a love triangle between
Cina (the boy), Annisa (the girl),
and Tuhan (God).

Cina and Annisa love God
and God loves them both
But Cina and Annisa cannot love each other

because they call God by different names."
"Women bring men home --I have no such feelings."
-AtG.


"You know you are in love when you can't sleep --because reality is finally better than dreams."
-random anonymous quote.

(Really? How, then, do we explain sleep deprivation because of anger/phobia?)

"Don't get me wrong, I love you --but I love my freedom more."
-Vk.

"I know that God must love me cos He sent you to me..." ^^


"I keep you with me in my heart,
You make it easier when life gets hard.
...
Every time we say goodbye, I wish we had one more kiss.."