White-veiled occasion

Just watched the movie Ceremony (with Lee Pace, ya'll). It's a shitty movie, but I can't get it off my mind. No, not because of Lee Pace (although I can't keep my mind off him too).

And as usual, when I keep thinking about something, I write it down to transfer the thoughts from my mind to the wide world of web. I wanted to insert a spoiler alert here, but there's nothing much to spoil when the movie is as predictable as Michael Bay's next explosion.

The movie is the predictable boy meets girl, girl meets a man, and decides to marry him instead. Then the boy come to the wedding in the hope to change her mind. What's different in this movie is that, the girl stands by her decision.

Her ex-bf asks her, "Why?" Why does she choose a guy who doesn't like what she likes, who doesn't appreciate her passion? She simply answers, "Because he loves me." Long movie story short, it's true that the groom doesn't share her hobbies, but he loves her enough to forgive her pasts and, to certain points, her lies. He might not love her the way the ex-bf loved her, but who's to say he doesn't love her enough?

Not so much of a plot twist, but it's a new lesson.

Sometimes, we care too much about someone that we think we know what's best for them. This is especially true for parents. In my case it's my friends. They might not realize it (which is a good thing) I care/worry too much about them that I like to suggest them the things I think will be good for them.

Now I understand. I can't take care of everybody, and sure as hell shouldn't. Sure, we can make suggestions, but in the end of the day, they are the ones who live their lives. And hopefully, they are mature enough to make their own decisions, and know what's best for them.

But, if you still think that one of your friend or two shouldn't make the decision s/he has made, here's a Taylor Swift's song to get an idea on how to crash a wedding:

Know

You don't know me, cos you only choose to see a version of me. That's why it surprises you too much when you finally discover who I really am. 

A lot of time, we feel betrayed by the people we "trust" and more often than not, our first reaction would be 'I don't know you're that kind of person'. The second reaction, which is not all that rare, would be the more appropriate 'I don't know who you are!

The second reaction is much truer. This is because -most of the time- when we "get to know" someone, we don't actually see the person as who he really is. As a creature with strong imaginations, we see people the way we want to see them. This gets worse we're "in love" with someone (and so much worse when 'we' are girls). The colours of love sure are more bright and saturated. This is why there are a lot of nice people end up with people who don't deserve them.

It's easier to love an imagination...

It's not always a bad thing though, mistaken someone for who he isn't. There scenarios go both ways. There'll be a time when you think someone is not bad person, but she turns out to be a "tragically misunderstood character". When you thought someone is lazy, but really she's just suffering a ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) and turns out to work great when she works alone. When you thought someone is weak and timid, and she's really just being polite and has been feeding your ego. And there'd be time when one day she decides she has enough and shows that she's actually strong and independent (and decides to flip you one).

In either case, it's always good to be honest to yourself, don't lie to yourself. As Syrio Forel wisely said, "See with your eyes." Don't see with your judgement or imagination. See things and people for what they really are. And when you've seen, don't be angry or bitter, just accept it and move on. People are not here to make your life miserable (you're not that important), they simply are.

A journey of a thousand miles..

Asking my boyfriend any my brother "What do you think if I move to Australia to work?": The difference.

Me:  "What do you think if I move to Australia to work?"
Bf: *shrug* "Ok."

Me: "What do you think if I move to Australia to work?"
Bro: "What's the job? Who told you? Are you sure? What did your bf say? Have you thought it through? Don't you think this is selfish?" *two hours later* "The economy is... The tax in Australia is..." *two more hours later* "You have to know what you want in life. Is this really what you want? If not, then what is it that your really want." *goes on to other irrelevant topics for a few hours more*

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the difference between an optimistic realist and pessimistic idealist.

An optimistic realist sees the world like a little child. Just enjoy what you're doing and life will shape itself around you. No need to worry. Worries only brings unhappiness, and unhappiness brings bad luck.

While a pessimistic idealist is the total opposite --perhaps like a bitter old man. Everything that will go wrong in life, will go wrong. It is life's personal mission to make each individual's life miserable.

I'm not saying that one is better than the other. Any extreme is not good. What we can do is learn from both and find our own balance.

But right now, my journey of a thousand miles is stuck on the first step.

Buying happiness

Yes, you can buy happiness.
You just need to know what to buy: People.

Ok, not exactly. According to this book 'The Geography of Bliss', by Eric Weiner (that's 'e' before 'i', ok) because human is a party, eh, social animal (rawr), happiness is about being with other people. So, one way to be happy is to spend your money on other people. Be it to buy something for a stranger, friends, or family, when your money help to make other people happy, you'll be happier too.

So..um, can I borrow $20?

"Life is lived forward, but understood backwards."

-Søren Kierkegaard.

A book and its cover

My Hush Puppies luggage has this glitch ever since I bought it last year: the handle sometimes won't go down all the way. It's stuck at medium height at random times, and so it's frustrating when I have to put the luggage in baggage or car trunk.
I've been meaning to bring it to the service centre, but as with most adults, I always loss my time doing I-have-no-idea-what.

Finally today my boredom reached its peak and I decided to drop by Hush Puppies main agent near Tai Seng MRT.
The complete address is:

Lohmun Leather Products Pte Ltd
153 Kampomg Ampat #03-04,
Jun Jie Industrial Building, S368326
Telp: 6282 8255

There's no easy way to reach there (except by taxi or personal vehicle, of course), I had to walk 15 minutes from MRT station. Even when I reached the building, I had to go through turns and trucks to reach the service centre.

But once I reached the building, everyone there was so helpful, it's almost comical. The security saw me dragging my luggage and immediately said, "Straight, to the left, take lift, 3rd floor." As I was walking to the lift, another person standing there said, "3rd floor number 4." When I reached 3rd floor, the lift opened up to another person and he said "Your left, to the corner." As if somebody knew I was coming and made the whole script for me. Just to piss-off my atheist readers, I would say it was God who planned the whole thing for me.

The service centre turned out to be not so much a centre, just a workshop. I expected to fill some forms, show my receipt etc etc. But I was only greeted by a technician with this stern looks about him. He merely said, "what happened?" I explained to him and he took my luggage, give it a few spins and a few drops of oil. And just like that the glitch is solved! Literally 5 minutes. He works so fast it's like watching an F1 technician at work.

Apparently there is nothing broken, the handle just needs some oil. I feel so embarrassed. I think it happens a lot to ignorant buyers. The technician merely said, "anything else?" while checking for other parts of the luggage. Amazed, I said "that is all". He then taught me how to do the oiling to my luggage and sent me off my way. I wasn't charged a single cent for all these. Such a nice guy! I want to take a moment to praise Hush Puppies customer service *slow clap*

Moral of the day:
Don't judge a book by its cover. It's not only talking about judging people from his looks, but also about addressing a problem. A problem might looks life-ending but the solution could be so simple. Or on the contrary, it may looks easy, but there might be invisible impacts to other aspects in your life.

The secret is, be honest to yourself. Like Steve Jobs said, your intuition somehow already know what's going on. Most of the time, it's our mind that wants a dramatic existence and  makes things worse than it really is.
In Syrio Forrell's words, see with your eyes. See things and people as they are. Is this an obnoxious person or just a nice person who's having a bad day? Is there really no solution to this problem or uncle Google can help you solve it? Don't let your feelings or memories or worries add cloudy filters to them. Otherwise, you'll end up wasting time and energy like I did.

Understanding understand

The difference between hearing and listening; between watching and seeing; between experiencing and learning; is the understanding.

I've been feeling angry (again) lately. About the things I cannot have and I cannot have. Understand? Things I don't have the capability to have and things I am not allowed to have.

There are things I want that I can't get yet.
There are things I want I know I have the ability to have but somehow still don't have.
There are things I want that I know I will never have.
There are things I chose not to have but I want it now.

Someday, I will understand.

My brother said, wisdom is when you understand. And when you understand, you're wise, you won't be angry. So you have to learn to understand what you don't understand yet.

 But how do you know you don't know what you don't know?

Do we even understand the word 'understand'?

Confuse yet? Well, let it sinks. UNDERSTAND IT.

All the angers rooted from wants; is that even healthy? Perhaps I should just go and live like the Kalahari bushmen. Seems peaceful enough.

In another note..

First, God is both able and willing, it's people's stupidity that's always gets in the way.
Second, atheists are supposed to not believe in God, so why are we discussing this? Atheists, please understand yourselves. Decide, whether you're an atheist or an agnostic?

People's inability to answer simple questions is amazing.
Especially when it comes to what they want.

The price of life

It's not a dream when you are not ready to die for it.

“Don’t ever get angry at a man for stating the truth.” 

-Dagny Taggart

Kesuksesan itu bukan kunci kebahagiaan,
kebahagiaanlah kunci dari kesuksesan.

- Om Tukul Arwana

Success is not the key to happiness; happiness is the key to success.

"Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans." 

-Robin of How I Met Your Mother

Sometimes, in this part of the world you have to deal with people with a smile on your face and a knife behind your back.

(Un)learning hypocrisy

Don't be a hypocrite.
The smart will avoid you.
The mediocre will hate you.
The stupid will follow you.

Life is a process of learning.
Not just a learning of what to know, but also what to be.
There are many things I learned to be before. I learned to be strong, to be resilient. I learned to be rebellious. I learned to be calculative. I learned to have faith in humanity --and then to have none. I learned to be a leader, I learned to be a follower, I learned to be a spectator.
But the one thing I didn't realize I have to learn, is to be evil.
This is the day. This is the red mark on the calendar that I am learning to be evil.
It is not something I want to do, but something I need to do. Just like any other learning process.
But this one, is a learning that is fueled by hatred towards a hypocrite.

Fix it when it's broken

9Gag can teach you some very good lessons sometimes..

And the answer is...

I know nobody asks, it's because they don't know the question yet.
For those who already realize the problem, good for you.
For those who haven't, I save you the agony of pilgrimage looking for an answer.

It is a question arouse from me trying to be smart and went to read the 1200-odd-page of Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged. The book is beautiful; a work of art. But that would be a totally different story.
The book holds the philosophy/conviction that Ayn Rand introduced: Objectivism.
For a long time, I tried to understand the essence of that philosophy, but only lately I can grasp the full meaning of it.
Here it is, in Ayn Rand's very own words:

"My philosophy, Objectivism, holds that:


Reality exists as an objective absolute—facts are facts, independent of man’s feelings, wishes, hopes or fears. Reason (the faculty which identifies and integrates the material provided by man’s senses) is man’s only means of perceiving reality, his only source of knowledge, his only guide to action, and his basic means of survival. Man—every man—is an end in himself, not the means to the ends of others. He must exist for his own sake, neither sacrificing himself to others nor sacrificing others to himself. The pursuit of his own rational self-interest and of his own happiness is the highest moral purpose of his life. The ideal political-economic system is laissez-faire capitalism. It is a system where men deal with one another, not as victims and executioners, nor as masters and slaves, but as traders, by free, voluntary exchange to mutual benefit. It is a system where no man may obtain any values from others by resorting to physical force, and no man may initiate the use of physical force against others. The government acts only as a policeman that protects man’s rights; it uses physical force only in retaliation and only against those who initiate its use, such as criminals or foreign invaders. In a system of full capitalism, there should be (but, historically, has not yet been) a complete separation of state and economics, in the same way and for the same reasons as the separation of state and church."

Copyright © 1962 by Times-Mirror Co.

Bossy

Just realized that in the working world, being bossy means you'll be promoted as manager very soon.

Damn, dad, why did you have to teach me to be obedient whole my life. Now I have difficulty ordering people around. And in my boss' eyes, I'm "not a manager material. I know one when I see one."

So for kids out there, if you want to be manager very fast, (here in Singapore, anyway) please cultivate your bossiness as early in your life as possible.

Expectation vs Reality

A girl who has never eaten a lobster in her life...

...expectation:
Girl: I want to eat lobster :(
Boyfriend: *secretly plan a romantic date by the sea with lobster in the menu, and not forgetting the rose petals shower*

...reality:
Girl: I want to eat lobster :(
Boyfriend: Yeah, me too.

Moral of the day:
Don't look for a rich boyfriend, but look for a boyfriend who's willing to spend for you.
Don't look for a boyfriend that can play music instrument, but one who would want to play for you.
Don't look for someone who merely loves you, but one who's willing to show it.
And once again, the Bible is right, don't look for someone who is able to, but for one who is willing to do so.

Achievement

One day, we will all learn to be proud of our achievements, freely.
He who dares not to talk about his achievement, has achieved nothing.

-Inspired by Francisco D'Anconia.