"Where is your God?"

And so today was the big reveal. And so, this blog's gonna be long.
Thirty Seconds to Mars has just launched their newest music video for the song 'Hurricane'. Jared has said that it's going to be sexual, but I never imagined it'd be THAT sexual. G-string, check. Handcuff and blindfold, check. Bunny costume, check. Full bondage, check. Drag queen, check. He even taught the fans (the innocents) a brand new word: the Gimp.

Cinematography-wise, it's nicely done and very artistic. The opening scene of the city night with thunders, Shannon riding his bike. Then a knock on the door. Then opened by the mini song 'Escape'. Immediately you have the flight-or-fight reaction. It's better than any horror movies I've seen lately. Then there's a lot of slow-motion moments a la 'A Beautiful Lie'. The sound editing is also nice, with the switching between the silence of the night and everything else that's going on. They should release this in blu-ray.

Personally, I love the video. People might say it's too sexual, too vulgar. But come on, let's not be hypocrites. For those who have experienced sex, we think about it. Some just sometimes, some more often. Sure, there'd be the young ones that might see. However, rather than let them learn through sneaky-sneaky way, I'd rather them to see it out in the open and that way they can just ask questions directly. It's also a lesson for everyone else. For those who do not know and realize that these things are happening all around us. Open your eyes.

Well, you might call me bias. Whatever, I worship Jared Leto. He's brilliant. He's like Leonardo daVinci of 21st century (ok, a bit of exaggeration there), he has this seemingly abstract thinking but but when you look at it, it's a deep one and actually makes sense.

Take the video for example. For many people, the video is what my boyfriend sees as: "Jared Leto half naked and looking for his shirt the whole 13 minutes video." (Yes, the video is 13 minutes long. It's a short movie). But guys, open your eyes.

The sexual issues, technical discussion, and personal rants aside, there's something more to the video. It's what Jared had always asked the Echelon to find. The Argus Apocraphex. From this point on, I'll be talking in terms that only 30StM fans understand. So, everyone else.. apologies..

Watching the video, I kept thinking, 'Do you have to make it so obvious, Jared?'. Even right from the start, the sign was there:
Then there's sacred three: birth, life, death. The keys, attached to red ribbons. Four Tomos and three Shannons - multiple personalities? Religious leaders burning their books of faith. Twins/mirrored image - dualism. Symbols written on walls and roads. Robotic children. Goat-like gimp.

Oh, Terry Richardson --a dead give a way. I don't like that guy, btw.

Everything was done in split second. Smart, Jared. Talking about subliminal messages.

Yeah, alright, we get what you're trying to say. I even looked for the black-and-white checkered floor, but it's not there.
But the next question is, are you with them or are you against them?
I'm waiting for your next videos.. your next codes, Mr. Cubbins.

Deep in the dead darkness.
Peering.
Long i stood there.
Wondering.. fearing.. doubting..
Dreamings dreams no more elaborate than i dare to dream before.

Protège-moi de mes désirs.

Protects me from my desire.

Have you ever come across a song that brings back certain feelings, the exact feeling like when you heard it so many years ago? Imagine you 17 songs just like that, in a CD! It just happened to me and I overwhelmed with feelings! It's been so long, I've even forgotten half of the songs' titles but here they are, spicing up my life again.

Now, the history of the CD is interesting. When I was in high school in humble Batam island, it's difficult to come across your favorite song. You can only hear them in radio, while radio only plays the hits. So there's a friend of mind who was business-minded, who downloaded songs from the net and sell 17 songs in a CD for Rp. 10,000,- So I bought one from him, with my own chosen songs Why didn't I download them myself? Cos 1) I was bad with internet and 2) Batam was bad with internet. Why didn't I ask my fast-forward brother? Cos he's too busy to do it.
Anyway, here's the list of my chosen songs with bits of comments on some of them, just to share with you (recommended too, if you want to explore old songs).

1. Survivor by Destiny Child
2. The Call by Backstreet Boys

Hmmm just simply reminds me of how my dad always did the same thing and to reminds me to NOT do this kind of thing to anyone.

3. The One by Backstreet Boys

By same boyband, with almost the same title, but the story of the song is totally different from the previous one. This song is very special to me.. inspiring and triggering a fantasy ;)

4. Losing Grip by Avril Lavigne

Ah.. the glory of Avril Lavigne once upon a time. For me, this song isn't about ex-bf, more for 'a certain person' that should be supporting me morally, but "weren't there when I was scared".

5. Summertime of Our Lives by A1

A cheerful song, to cheer you up during the everlasting summer in Asia.

6. Can't Fight the Moonlight by LeAnn Rimes

This song is special cos it's the soundtrack of a movie, Coyote Ugly. The movie is not particulary awesome or anything, but it hold a personal sentiment for me.

7. The Real Slim Shady by Eminem

Eminem.. Eminem.. what can I say? Love him, hate him. But you can't deny that he's talented. Or should I say f****ing talented?

8. No More by A1

The media mad a huge fuss about this song, that year (2001, if I remember correctly) cos the video was filmed in Singapore. And you can imagine how fussy the Singaporean media had been..

9. Like a Virgin by Madonna

Never liked Madonna, but song was also triggered by a fuss: In VMA 2003, Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera sang it before Madonna turned up and kissed them onstage.

10. Graduation (Friend Forever) by Vitamin C

This is our graduation song T.T we asked where will be when we're 25, and now we're closing in finding the answer..

11. I Love It When We Do by Ronan Keating
12. Ain't That a Kick in the Head by Westlife
13. The Way You Make Me Feel by Ronan Keating.

Lovely song. Hopefully I can make someone feel that way (sounds impossible XD).

14. Life for Rent by DiDo

If you're a tad melancholy and into philosophy, and in for an emo song, listen to the song.

15. Stuck in My Heart by C21

Such a sweet, sweet song. I know the band is kinda lame, just another boyband. But the song sounds so sweetly sincere.

16. Coming Home Now by Boyzone

I don't know why, but this song makes me think of Ireland. Some years ago, I wanted so bad to go to Ireland. Well, I still do, but not as bad.

17. Jangan Ganggu Banci by Project Pop

If you understand Indonesian, this song is HIL-LA-RIOUS. Have a listen. Made my day just to remember the song.

Seems like this one is such a long post *lol* Oh well, just want to share something's that dear to me. Happy exploring!

My horoscope

My horoscope for the day o.O Describing exactly what I'm going through. Every word is exactly as said, none has been edited:

You are able to make everything look easy today, but you're probably stressing a lot more than anyone realizes. These aren't easy times because you can see divergent paths, yet neither option is perfect. Eventually, you will have to stop the analysis process and just make a choice. Remember, it's usually best to choose love over fear.
 

Deuteronomy 5:11

King James version: Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain.

Simple Singlish: Cannot anyhow say God lah!

Totally random..

Just some of my favourite movies:

Requiem for a Dream
"I love you, Harry. You make me feel like a person. Like I'm me... and I'm beautiful." 

Closer
"What's so great about the truth? Try lying for a change, it's the currency of the world."

10,000 BC
"Some truths do not survive the ages."

Number 23
"There's no such thing as destiny. There are only different choices. Some choices are easy, some aren't. Those are the really important ones, the ones that define us as people."

Shutter Island
"Did you know that the word 'trauma' comes from the Greek for 'wound'? Hm? And what is the German word for 'dream'? Traum. Ein Traum."

iFever

Have you heard the news? iPad was released and iPhone 4 is going to be released soon.

So, there's iSync, iTunes, iWork, iWeb, iMac, iPod Touch, iPhone, iPod Shuffle, iPod Nano, back to iPhone. Did I mention iDVD, iMovie, iPhoto, iDisk? And.. oh, iPhone one more time. Then let's not forget the most majestic of them all, the iPad.

[Wait right there, if you expect this to be a review of the technology, there's no such thing here. You'd only find my rants].
There are two things that bother me here, as much as I like Apple and worship Steve Jobs:

First, Apple is known for their creativity of inventing new things and make their customers believe that they need those things. Then, WHY THE HECK CAN'T THEY INVENT A BETTER NAMING FOR THEIR PRODUCTS? It's starting to get on my nerves.

Second, like I said, Apple (or rather, Steve Jobs) is gifted in telling people that it has invented new things/technology and that they'd need those things. But do we really? Let's see in particular for this iPad thing..

First, the use. So it's a hybrid between a PDA and a laptop (or, how I see it, a PDA that stuck mid-way in its evolution to be a laptop). Was it not intended to be an ebook? Then why does it include a virtual keyboard, web browser, is heavy, and not something that's nicely fit our grip, especially in the toilet? Was it intended to replace laptop? If so, why can't it multitask, open Flash, and -although I heard rumors that it can run up to 10 hours- Jobs didn't mention anything about a strong battery life(time)?

Second thing, the price. The prices of iPad range is between US$ 400-850 which approximately S$ 700-1200. So we have a desktop at home, a laptop in the room, a handphone in the bag, an MP3 player in our pocket (a PDA in another pocket, for some people. An additional PSP in the bag, for some other people), do we really need to buy one more gadget that doesn't really have a special purpose in its life or a special place to fit in? This is what I call the conspiracy of consumerism, when the society backed (or brainwashed) by commercial companies to force poor people in that society "work in a job you hate, to buy stuff that you don't need," and finally, "to impress people that you don't like".

Welcome to the universe.

Oh well.. anyway, don't mind me.. The truth is, I'm just jealous that those Apple products are out of my league of budgeting. Now, go buy your futuristic keyboardless laptop.

Do you want conspiracy with that theory?

Remember I told you about all those conspiracy theories the other day? Well, I got it going again lately. Can't help it.. everyday life is boring. Conspiracy theories are fun, help me to escape this boring and dull life i'm living. I found this website that basically talks about Fremasonry/Illuminati symbolism in pop culture. At first, it talks about Lady Gaga being a newbie to Illuminati and now she's currently a vigour campaigner of the club. Of course that's very interesting for me, especially when i found her lyrics are bizarre (I'm into songs lyrics too, btw).

So I keep reading and one thing lead to another, and I stumbled on the same website an article on the website that talk about 2009 VMA and how it is only a huge hidden occult ceremony. The writer of the article can really explain phase by phase why he thinks it is a huge stage hidden occultism. It's all logical.

I was so excited. Then I tried to tell my bf about it. You know how fun it is when you're excited about something, you tell someone, then you both discuss about it. I think it's not guys thing. All I got from my bf was "Why are you reading these things?" with why-are-you-reading-these-things-get-a-life look. I have a friend that also into these things with me, and, when we have the chance, always discuss it for hours. But he's doing his final year project now, so he doesn't really have time now. Ooh..how I miss times like that sometimes..

Anyway, I realize I ramble pointlessly in this post (more pointless than ever). Just want to let you know of the existence of these conspiracy theories (but, of course, it's just for fun). So I guess I'll just end your misery right here.

It's always the 'why' that trigger people.

Just finished watching a (really) long movie about Hitler [or some call it a really truly miniseries], thanks Mr. Matahari for generously lending me his DVD. Still, I don't understand what's with this guy, why did he hate Jews so much. I never really read anything on him, never really want to. I watched the movie, there's only one emotion that I feel (out of him and on myself): hatred. Why was Hitler so full of hatred? His life was bad, yes, but there are many who had worse (Nelson Mandela, for one) who turned out to be just alright, or even became a messenger of peace.

It's not easy, of course, to understand how these great people think. I read so many books and articles on Alexander the Great, before I finally see a glimpse of what motivates him: his father. Both admiration and hatred for the father. But still, that's just my conclusion. The real thing, who'd ever know..

On another perspective, both Hitler and Alexader made good leaders. People were afraid of them, maybe, but most of them gladly supported them. Why? I heard leadership is about influence. What made both Hitler and Alexander (plus Genghis Khan, Obama, Cleopatra, you name it) so influential? What made them good leaders? Compassion for their followers? I'm not sure for Hitler, and I'm suspicious not for Napoleon as well. Their great visions? Maybe, but how did they convinced their followers? Ah..so many questions of how and why..

What keeps them going is more complicated. Ambition? Glory? Pride? Greed (like one of my friends said)? A yearn for a change? ..Hatred? Alexander fought on in his war in India when he severly wounded. Achilles (even though he's a mere myth) went to Greek even though it meant he won't live long enought to come back home. Cleopatra's willing to be called Caesar's whore just to keep Egypt safe and strong. And, back to Hilter.. even though he's imprisoned, he kept going on.
Oh, well, I guess it's different for each person, what keeps them going on in their little journey called life.

So.. what keeps YOU going? ;)

Those 5Cs..

There is this special term in Singapore to see if a guy is worth marrying or not: does he have 5Cs? It stands for Cash, Car, Credit card, Condominium, and membership(s) of Country club [sometimes the package comes with additional C: child(ren)]. Like any other sarcastic joke, noone can tell for sure when or how did the term start. But, to put it simply, it shows you what kind of things that these people values. They think that by having these things (or having the person who have these things), their lives would be easier. But, oh well, who am I to comment on it.. Move on to the next topic..

Singaporeans indeed should start to worry about 5Cs these days, but not the usual ones, but the ones that everybody has a share, no matter from which economy status they come from: the 5 degree celcius, that is. Ok, maybe not exactly 5°C, but you know what I mean. The increase in temperature that's happening lately. This is not an essay, so I won't give you facts and figures or literature references. But you know you can feel it. The temperature is rising.
Weather reports might show projection about the topic, the government might deny it, and experts might living in denial . But can your skin deny it (it's an interesting word, deny is, try to repeat it 7 times in your mind)? Step outside of your house or office, and feel it for yourself.

Then what's the point of my post this time? There's no point, I just want to rant how freaking hot can this place be! Is it really nearing the 2012? I hope August comes soon

Happy Easter Day!

It's Easter day.. I want to dedicate the greetings especially to:
Novi Triana, Rosiana, Adeline, Selamat, Tomy and Tony,
Inez, Felix, Novi Rusli, Ine, Rachel,
and Alfin.

Hope we don't forget the meaning of Easter. The following song is very sweet, just right to describe our faith and hopefully reminds us always about it:



Here is another version, just as good:

John 4

Always feel so depressed lately. I don't know why. Just feel like I lose the will to live (not like it's something new). Everything's dark, everything's annoying. Everything's wrong. If I have just one wish, I wish I were never born. Let the traces of me be erased from the history of the world.

Oh, wanna talk about something that IS new: Finally, after devil-knows-how-many-weeks since the last time I did, I went to church yesterday (no, Felix, not your kind of church).
The church sucked as usual, the people were fake as usual. But there's something soothing: the sermon is about John 4:1-26. John has always been one of my favorite books in the Bible (yes, even a devil like me do read Bible sometimes). John is always different from Matthew, Mark or Luke in telling about Jesus. And this particular passage, tells about 'Jesus and the Woman of Samaria'.
I've read the passage so many times before, heard it preached in the church so many times before. But never did I realize what it means. It doesn't only show that Jesus have no problem mingling with other races or sinners, or both, but He also have no problem in mingling with women.

Sounds simple?
Not for me. Like I said, for me, it's something very soothing. Jesus isn't sexist. Jesus doesn't think that men are higher than women. Jesus doesn't think that women are lower than men. He practiced what He preached: everyone's equal.

I'm not talking about religion, I'm not talking about God. I'm not the person who has rights to talk about such things. I merely talk about a great historical figure, a brilliant philosopher, who wants us to see what true morality is.

This further reminds me the many things I've believed long time ago and have forgotten now. Somebody out there love you, not matter you want to believe it or not. Even if everyone left, you'll have One Person that will always stay. Treat everyone else the way you want to be treated.

MadLOVE

Random lovely quotes about love, from all around. No copyrigh infringement intended, just helping to spread the love.

I don't care about your imperfections that's what makes me adore you.

You had me from the day you smiled.

I don't like missing you. But I love having you to miss.

Let's kiss in the rain… Where the rain is so hard that the only thing we can see is each other.

So what if I think too much or if I over analyze things. So what if I can't eat or sleep… At least you'll know why. You're always on my mind.

He means the world to her and she doesn't even know it.

Sometimes one smile means more then a dozen roses.

I have more feelings for you, than any other girl ever will.

It's all just magic when I think about you. And when I'm not with you, I go crazy.

If a guy really likes you he'll listen to what you have to say and not what he hears from others.

You know you're in love when you see that someone and your heart flutters, your stomach gets butterflies, and the rest of the world disappears

We're all a little weird. And life's a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up in mutual weirdness and call it love.

It's completely impossible to find a guy who won't ever hurt you, so go for the guy who will make the pain worthwhile.

Let's set the record straight. No one makes me smile quite like you do

3/4/7

A call to arms..

Soundtrack of the day: A Call to Arms by 30 Seconds to Mars

This is a call to arms, gather soldiers
Time to go to war
This is a battle song, brothers and sisters
Time to go to war

For one, I've finally decided which song from 30 Seconds to Mars is my first favorite. Despite of everything that I've said about their new album, 30 Seconds to Mars is still inspiring for me. I guess that's what it is with good stuffs, you have to savour them first to be able to truly enjoy them ;)

Did you ever believe?
Were you ever a dreamer?
Ever imagine heart open and free?
Did you ever deny? Were you ever a traitor?
Ever in love with your bloodless business?

Yup, inspiring me. In this dull life, in an even duller world. With the dullest people. Don't get me wrong, I have few great friends, the wisest people you'll ever meet. But compare to others that surrounding me, they are so few and so far.

I've always been a depressed girl by nature. But lately, it's all coming back to me. Like reading too much Ecclesiastes. Feel sick of everything. Where's the promise of "your tears will dry, you'll soon be free to fly"^? It doesn't exist. Just a well-worn dream.

You do this, do that, this, that, this, back again. Like a cassette being played once too often. Thinking those things will make life easier, yourself likable, your dreams one step closer. But nuh-uh. You only one step closer to the end of your life, or the end of the world, or whichever is closer.
And, bad news, things will only get worse the further you go from the time you were born.

Ever want to be free?
Do you even remember?
Want to be God, the Devil like me?
Ever want to just stop? Do you want to surrender?
Or fight for victory?

Good questions. Everyone wants to be free. But few remember.
Look around. No need to be too far. Look at the mirror. Do you feel bitter inside? Lonely? Unloved? Why?
I know few of my friends that have blogs. Most of the content of their blogs are about disappointment, bitterness, anger, hatred. Why?
Because few remember. Of their dreams. Of their purposes in life. Of their motivation. Of the answer of what should they fight for.
But how should we remember, when this life force us to only remember about one thing: MONEY? Gosh, I can go on and on about that.

Darkness falls, but here comes the rain
To wash away the past and the names
Darkness falls, here comes the rain
To end it all, the blood and the game

But everything has an end, right? Based on some beliefs, the world will come to an end. The old will pass, the new comes. Tears, pain, sadness will be wiped away.
Well, bad news again, though, it's only for few chosen ones.

Far, far away in a land that time can't change
Long, long ago in a place of hearts and gold
Far, far away in a land that time can't change
Long, long ago in a place of hearts and gold

Lesson to learn (for myself too): keep fighting. The battle isn't over yet.
If you think you're at the bottom of the pit, take heart, because when you're at the bottom of the pit, there's only one way left to go: UP.

This is a call to arms... brothers and sisters

My horoscope for today:

"Rest and relaxation are the order of the day today, Sagittarius, but since rest is not a part of your usual vocabulary, it would benefit you to go over recent problems and mistakes, and figure out what you've learned from them. Rethinking the significance of your experiences is a good thing, as long as you don't get caught up in what you should have done. There is nothing more counterproductive than turning your own feelings against you, and that's what you'll be doing if you dwell in negative spaces that, for all intents and purposes, no longer exist."

That brings us to the next discussion: What is it that you really want in your life?

Soundtrack of the day: The Fantasy by 30 Seconds to Mars

Misc wisdom I picked along the way

'Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.'
A sharp tongue can cut your own throat.
If you want your dreams to come true, you mustn't oversleep.
Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important.
The best vitamin for making friends is B1.
The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.
The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge.
One thing you can give and still keep...is your word.
You lie the loudest when you lie to yourself..
If you lack the courage to start, you have already finished.
One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.
Ideas won't work unless ' You' do.
Your mind is like a parachute...it functions only when open.
The 10 commandments are not a multiple choice.
The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime!
It is never too late to become what you might have been.
Life is too short to wake up with regrets.. So love the people who treat you right.. Forget about the ones who don't.
Everything happens for a reason.
If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it.
Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.
Friends are like balloons; once you let them go, you might not get them back.
Sometimes we get so busy with our own lives and problems that we may not even notice that we've let them fly away.
Sometimes we are so caught up in who's right and who's wrong that we forget what's right and wrong.
Sometimes we just don't realize what real friendship means until it is too late. I don't want to let that happen so I'm going to tie you to my heart so I never lose you.

The Bottom Line

Your quiet little romance is going to get a lot of attention soon. Are you ready?

In Detail

You can't keep a good secret right now -- your quiet little romance is going to get a lot of attention very soon. Are you ready for the scrutiny? Suddenly everyone wants to know what's going on between the two of you, what's next and where this thing is going -- and you might not even know the answers! Feel free to take a step back and protect your privacy. Your life is no one's business but your own. Friends won't be put off if you clam up --they will understand.

"You have to handle what's happening in your immediate environment, even if it's less fun than dreaming about the future. Nevertheless, no one can see your thoughts, so you can continue exploring your hidden fantasies as long as you also cover your bases in the here and now."

Even my horoscope knows I've been living more in my dreams than in reality. Even the "hidden fantasies" part is true. Aren't I glad very very few people can read minds *lol*
Well, yeah. Been thinking and dreaming about my future, of the thing(s) I want so bad to have and of which I've been preparing. But, of course, focusing too much on what's too far in front is not good, we tend to forget what's right in front.
Been wanting to do something too (few things, actually). But can't decide whether it's the wise thing to do... If only I have someone I can talk to about things like this, to help me discuss and heft the right and wrong of it...

22 Dec 2008

The Bottom Line

Your sparkling charm can help you connect with a shy or introverted person today.

In Detail

Your sparkling charm can work wonders today -- it can transform a blue friend into a sunny and happy friend, help you connect with a shy or introverted person, and even tame a blustering bully. You turn them into a tame kitty cat! All you have to do is flash a smile and toss a compliment someone's way and the magic will begin! This is a great time in your life to expand your social circle and try to connect with the people you normally would not think of approaching.

Twilight

Just finished readying the much-hyped book of Twilight. I wasn't so interested in it, but since everyone's talking about it, I feel like it's my responsibility to read what's so interesting about it. Can't say I was impressed, just another book for teenagers. However, I give credit to the author for the effort. The way Meyer deliver her story is appealing, just enough humor here and there.

It does make us fall in love with love. With all the sickening thick coating of romanticism cream, too thick for my preference, I can't taste the real cake inside.

But it also makes me wonder: Do you think, honestly, that such love still exists in this world? No man -or woman, in this matter- has that much time for his other half anymore, no? Not many people have enough time even from themselves anymore.

And someone care for your safety more than for his own? Ahem.. I'm skeptical.

It is more believable that vampires exist than such love do.

Is imagination always much more beautiful than reality? Or perhaps, most of the time love does feel that way, only we are not poetic enough to put it into words?

"The glory of first love, and all that. It's incredible, isn't it, the difference between reading about something, seeing it in the pictures, and experiencing it?" -Edward.