~Audi alteram partem~

Love what you do

2012-02-15T10:07:00.000+08:00

"If you are a millionaire with lots of success but you are not happy, then you need to ask yourself what you are working for."

-Mr. Itthipat Kulapongvanich, founder of TaoKaeNoi

Did you know that TaoKaeNoi was founded by a Thai and not Japanese?

Did you know that TaoKaeNoi is Thai for "young entrepreneur"?

What's your life philosophy?

2012-02-06T11:46:00.002+08:00

Garfield

2012-01-27T15:25:00.000+08:00

14 Things about Garfield that you might not know.

1. His owner's name is Jon Arbuckle. Jon is a cartoonist.
2. The real cartoonist name is Jim Davis.
3. The first ever strip was drawn on 19 June 1978. Thus, Garfield's birthday is 19 June.

4. Odie, Jon's dog, was actually owned by Lyman Johnson, a friend of Jon's who was his roommate.
5. Odie was first introduced in 8 August 1978 strip, along with Lyman.

6. Garfield's favorite teddy bear is named Pooky. His first appearance was on 23 October 1978.

7. Jon met his girlfriend, Liz, when he took Garfield for a checkup on 26 June 1978. Obviously, she's a vet. After so many rejections, Jon finally gets a date with Liz on 21 April 1980

8. Garfiel LOVES coffee.. and is pretty much addicted to caffeine.

9. Garfield was born 5 pounds 6 ounces, in Mama Leoni's Italian Restaurant. That explains his love for lasagna..

10. And, oh yeah, Garfield has a grandpa.

11. Garfield has an archenemy named Nermal. He's the "world's cutest kitten" owned by Jon's mom.

12. Since Jon has a girlfriend, Garfield doesn't want to be left behind too. He's been seeing a pink/purple cat called Arlene since 17 December 1980.

13. Despite his penchant for holding a newspaper while drinking coffee in the morning, Garfield cannot read.

14. Garfield has an invisible friend called Clive. He was debuted on 22 April 1996 and last seen on 16 June 2003.

If you're a big fan of this chubby cat, the full list of Garfield comics can be read here.
If you're a bigger fan, every information about Garfield is available in Garfield Wiki.

Elegance

2012-01-25T11:08:00.001+08:00

"Elegance is sexiness with maturity."

- Mr. Varlan Allan (2012)

The beginning of creation is always destruction.

2012-01-19T11:44:00.001+08:00

Censorship

2012-01-13T15:37:00.002+08:00

Another day at work

2012-01-06T20:06:00.000+08:00

4 pm in the office..

*ring ring*
Me: Halo?
Lady: May I know is RT still with you? (name is hidden to protect privacy)
Me: Oh, he's no longer with us.
Lady: May I know who replaces him?
Me: Sorry, may I know what this is regarding of?
Lady: I just want to know who replaces RT *being rude*
Me: I'm not sure what's RT position was, can you just let me know so I can refer you to the right person?
Lady: *in bossy tone* So here's the background ya, I'm from a PR company and I usually send press releases to RT to be published.
Me: Oh-
Lady: But now the emails I've been sending him keeps bouncing back.
Me: Actually-
Lady: So can I know who's replacing him?
Me: I am the one who's handling editorial now.
Lady: Ok, what's your name?
Me: Eva
Lady: How do you spell that?
Me: -_-" eee- veee-- ey
Lady: And your last name?
Me: *oh shit* Fransiskus. eeef--
Lady: What is that?
Me: Fransiskus. FRANSISKUS. ef-ar-ey-ant-es-aee-es-kei-you-es *quickly*
Lady: sorry, I didn't get that.
Me: *slowly now* eeeef... aaaarr.. eeeey..
Lady: I didn't get that.
Me: eeeeey... ef-ar-eeeey..
Lady: Ok.
Me: aaaant.. es-aee-es... keeeiiii...youuuu...essss..
Lady: What's your email address?
Me: That'd be eva...berlin..
Lady: How do you spell that?
Me: -_-" eva.. bee-- ee-- ar-
Lady: Eva..vee--ee--ar.
Me: No, no, bee, bee..
Lady: For Vietnam?
Me: For Bangkok.
Lady: Ok
Me: Eeel--
Lady: Huh? Can you repeat that from the beginning? *still bossy*
Me: ee-vee-ey-bee-ee-ar-el-ay-ant
Lady: ee-vee-ey-bee-ee-ar-el-ay-em
Me: No, ant, for Norway.
Lady: Ok, so evaberlin at?
Me: *say the company webmail*
Lady: And your position is?
Me: I'm the editor
Lady: Editorial--..?
Me: Editor
Lady: Editorial--..?
Me: I AM THE EDITOR
Lady: Oh, you're the editor--- *sweet voice* Oh, thank you Eva, I will be sending you the emails then. Thank you.
Me: Sure, bye.

Good luck with the job, lady.

Mac is a bimbo

2012-01-06T20:02:00.001+08:00

Bro: Why do you suddenly do not want Mac laptop anymore?
Me: Cos I liked Mac only for the editing software, I don't like everything else.
Bro: This line of Mac is the last batch in which Steve Jobs is involved :'(

*after long talk of why-not-Mac*

Me: Mac is like a bimbo girl.
Bro: Hah??
Me: On the first sight it is indeed attractive, and it is indeed fashionable. But in the long run, high maintenance and more heartache than happines.
Bro: Is this your bf's theory? -_-"

A day at work

2012-01-05T19:25:00.000+08:00

5.59 pm in the office..

Colleague 1: *scrubbing her keyboard with disinfectant*
Colleague 2: *arranging stationary and documents*
Colleague 3: *updating her documents for the day*
Boss: *still on the phone while replying emails* (he's a multitasker)

Me: *turned off computer, bag in one hand, sit with a stance (kuda2) ready to run*

Late-stayer in the office are either hardworking (read: person who cannot work smart) or a suck-up to boss.

A walk on the beach

2012-01-02T10:34:00.000+08:00

Girlfriend: So, when are you going to take me to Jumbo (a seafood restaurant)?

Boyfriend: When? What? Didn't I? Oh, but I don't like it there, the people are so rude. We can't even choose our own seat. Anyway it's always so crowded there. Or is it just me? Maybe for other people the service is alright, that it's the way it should be? I don't know, I mean if you're buying food somewhere else, they will treat you better, because.. *on and on while..*

Girlfriend: *is shutting down the eardrums, playing Requiem for a Dream in mind*

Creative tents

2011-12-06T14:14:00.001+08:00

Stumbled by a post in Stomp that talks about conventional camping tents with unusual patterns. How amazing that creativity can come from something so simple. I think I know what to get my friends for their Christmas gifts now..

The tents are available from FieldCandy.com.

2011-12-02T09:37:00.001+08:00

Daddy once told me that when mommy passed away, she was taken by the butterflies into Heaven. From that day forward, I swore that I would torture and kill every last one of them until they would reveal to me the location of this so called "Heaven".

- Red Butterfly description from Gaia Online

Learning to count with the Koreans

2011-11-30T11:40:00.001+08:00

What else the South Koreans are known for beside for the girl and boyband, and kimchi?
Hint: No, not their nuclear technology.
But of course their creativity in posing for pictures! Let's learn one thing or two or three from them on how to pose for that potrait? Cos we want to take picture of nobody, nobody but you.

Zero

Zero point Five

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

Six

Seven

Ten

Eight and nine are not figured out yet. Maybe you have suggestion? ;)

Sources: AsianPoses

Sometimes..

2011-11-29T11:06:00.001+08:00

Sometimes..your knight in shining armor is a retard with a tin foil.

-Anonymous

Cigs are like hamsters

2011-10-13T16:05:00.000+08:00

YamiAmy said:

"Cigarettes are a lot like hamsters, perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire. amirite?"

Laugh and cry with the same amount

2011-10-12T22:01:00.000+08:00

iSick

2011-10-07T15:30:00.000+08:00

The iCraze of iGeneration.

Trolling

2011-10-06T22:52:00.000+08:00

Did you know..
An escalator in Port Pobedy in Moscow Metro (of course they don't call it "MRT"), Russia, stretches 126.8 meters, and it took three freaking minutes from one end to the other.

So, cut it out already.

The things I learn from my hamsters

2011-10-06T22:13:00.000+08:00

My rendezvous with these cute little rodents started in April. But they're so much more than grater machine with a cute nose. They are teachers in their own ways.

Always clean yourself.
Always clean your hands, mouth, feet, genitals whenever you can. Especially after your meal.

Exercise more.
Run and run and run. Then don't forget to clean your body after exercise and before you go to sleep.

Enough sleep is important.
Life has to be balance, you run (read: work hard) much, you rest much.

Drink enough water.

A lot of running and a lot of sleeping can be dehydrating.

Stock up (prepare for the days ahead).
Nobody knows what tomorrow might bring. Could be more food, could be no food at all. So when there is food (read: opportunities) just grab as much as you cheek can fill

Know your place.
Youngest or oldest? Novice or professional? Always watch your position. Don't try to be smart, don't be bossy towards the older ones.

Be nice to your family
You can fight whole day (maybe over the food), but always make up before you go to sleep. Especially if you're sleeping with your siblings. Your family will be the first to be there when you need them, and the first to steal -I mean, share- the food.

Who would've thought that such humble creatures can teach you so much!

2011-09-24T19:46:00.000+08:00

When was the last time he slept with you?
When was the last time he even touched you?
That's how you judge men.

-Aggie of The Sleeping Dictionary

Now I know..

2011-09-22T15:54:00.000+08:00

THIS is what I've been missing whole my life

2011-09-17T19:46:00.000+08:00

It's a walk in the park..

With people shooting right at you and throwing hand grenades.

-Jim Eastwood of The Apprentice

Bumblebee?

2011-09-13T16:23:00.000+08:00

The headquarter spotted in Tanjong Pagar.
And it's hot.

Do you want a code with that post?

2011-09-12T17:20:00.000+08:00

I grew up in Batam, lived there for 20 years and counting. Been living in the same house for 13 years now (if I remember correctly, that is). I used to have pen-pals when I was younger. That's how I learnt to write addresses correctly and remember what the postcode of my area is.

So when I joined Google Adsense I confidently wrote down my postcode as 29432, cos that's what I've been using for the 2-year pen-paling era of my life. But since October last year, I haven't receive my cheque. Google said the home address that I put down does not exist. So, going to its alter ego, I searched for a list of Batam island postcodes, and guess what? My postcode does not exist. The remarkable organization of Batam government.
Can someone tell me, then, what is the postcode for Nagoya Garden? Is it under Lubuk Baja or Kampung Seraya?

And to make life easier for our fellow Batamese, here I compile all the Batam postcodes that I can find.

BATAM KOTA

1. Sei Panas (Eks Bukit Jodoh) 29456

2. Belian 29464

3. Teluk Tering 29461

4. Sukajadi 29462

5. Baloi Permai 29463

6. Taman Baloi (Pec. Baloi Permai) 29463

BATU AMPAR

7. Kampung Seraya 29454

8. Batu Merah 29452

9. Tg. Sengkuang (Eks Bkt Senyum) 29451

10. Sungai Jodoh 29453

BATU AJI

11. Bukit Tempayan (Pec. Tiban Asri) 29424

12. Buliang (Pec. Tiban Asri) 29424

13. Kibing (Pec. Tiban Asri) 29424

14. Tanjung Uncang 29423

BELAKANG PADANG

15. Sekanak Raya (Pec. Blk.Padang) 29411

16. Tg. Sari (Pec. Blk.Padang) 29411

17. Kasu 29415

18. Pecong 29414

19. Pemping 29412

20. Pulau Terong 29415

BENGKONG

21. Bengkong LauT 29458

22. Tg. Buntung (Pec. Bengkong Laut) 29458

23. Bengkong Indah (Eks. Harapan Baru) 29455

24. Sadai (Eks. Bengkong Harapan) 29457

BULANG

25. Pulau Buluh 29471

26. Batu Legong 29474

27. Bulang Lintang 29471

28. Pantai Gelam 29473

29. Temoyong 29475

30. Pulau Setokok 29476

GALANG

31. Air Raja (Galang Baru) 29484

32. Subang Mas 29483

33. Sembulang 29481

34. Sijantung 29485

35. Rempang Cate 29482

36. Karas 29486

37. Galang Baru 29484

38. Pulau Abang 29487

LUBUK BAJA

39. Batu Selicin 29441

40. Lubuk Baja Kota 29444

41. Baloi Indah (Eks. Pangkalan Petai) 29442

42. Kampung Pelita 29443

43. Tanjung Uma 29445

NONGSA

44. Batu Besar 29466

45. Sambau 29466

46. Ngenang 29468

47. Kabil 29467

SAGULUNG

48. Tembesi 29434

49. Sei Lekop 29434

50. Sei Binti 29434

51. Sagulung Kota 29439

52. Sei Langkai 29434

53. Sei Pelunggut 29434

SEI BEDUK

54. Tanjung Piayu 29437

55. Duriangkang 29437

56. Mangsang 29437

57. Muka Kuning 29433

SEKUPANG

58. Patam Lestari 29427

59. Sungai Harapan 29421

60. Tanjung Pinggir 29428

61. Tanjung Riau 29422

62. Tiban Indah 29426

63. Tiban Lama 29425

64. Tiban Baru 29425

Sources:
http://batam-island-group.blogspot.com
http://fendies.wordpress.com

2011-08-29T21:42:00.000+08:00

"Maybe that is why as a little kid in Sunday school I learned that God didn't want false gods or idols.

I thought it was terribly selfish of God as a child but I think I get it now...

He knew we wouldn't be able to handle the pressure, the shame, the glory, or the power the spotlight brings."

-Kelly Clarkson on Amy Winehouse's death

2011-08-28T18:27:00.006+08:00

A business that makes nothing but money is a poor business.

Henry Ford

2011-08-24T12:36:00.002+08:00

I lie much better than you tell the truth.

- Derrick Webb in Gossip

Define 'large'

2011-08-19T16:58:00.000+08:00

It's all began when my boyfriend started to picking up words used in advertisements around Singapore. Being a marketing graduate, he likes to point out what's wrong with an advertisement --and apparently he finds a lot of satisfaction in Singaporeans' advertisements.

Then he pointed out, why is it that the Fountain of Wealth in Suntec City quoted as "the World's Largest'? Heck, I've never taken into mind the little little words around Singapore's tourism campaign. He kept nagging about it, so it got into me as well. Yeah, why is it so? Let's look at the facts:

Fountain of Wealth is slightly less than 14 m high, 66 m in diameter and occupies about 1 km sq area.

The famous Bellagio Fountains in Las Vegas shoot up water up to 76 m and the 'lake' on which the fountain reside measured up to 36 km.

While the current biggest fountain in the world is the King Fahd's Fountain that is located on the red sea (300 km in width). The fountain is measured 312 m high, 32 m higher than the highest building in Singapore, and it can be seen by all the people in any spot in Jeddah.

So, what's so large about the Fountain of Wealth?
Is it the largest indoor fountain?
Well, perhaps, in 1998, it was the largest. Now, it has to move on. The Guiness Book needs to update its records.

Love Guru

2011-08-16T23:09:00.002+08:00

The last rule of guru is to rid [the] student the need of [a] guru.
-Guru Tugginmybuddha.

Tumble out of bed and I stumble to the kitchen.

Pour myself a cup of ambition.

Yawning, strecthing, try to come to life.

-Guru Pitka, '9 tp 5'

2011-02-27T01:26:00.004+08:00

The case of :

- Evil twin?

- Bawang Putih/Bawang merah?

- White Swan/Black Swan?

- Hallucination?

- Photoshop?

2011-02-26T12:16:00.004+08:00

Some don't remember, most don't even know:

I'm a feminist.

Here's a lesson that I learnt: As soon as a guy (bf/husband/spouse of any kind) puts you below his friends, drop him and move on.

Drop him like a fungi-infested bread that you almost bite.

If he puts you below his god, god of any kind, it's good.

If he puts you below his family, it's even better.

But if he puts you below his friends.. run as fast as you can. You're better than that.

If he puts you below his work.. are you kidding me?! Do you even have to ask that?

2011-02-21T22:55:00.003+08:00

Love is a leap of faith?

I'm sorry, I'm afraid to fall.

I don't want to be a fool.

Black Swan

2011-02-15T12:11:00.020+08:00

So, even though I spent my Valentine's Day as a single (only on that day, ok), I had a lot of fun. Yes, I'm that kind of person that like to celebrate days, unlike some people.

Started the Day of Love suck-ily, including bashing someone at the Ministry of Manpower, but I had fun nevertheless.

Went out with my friends to watch the long-awaited movie, Black Swan. Yep, the one by Darren Aronofsky and with Natalie Portman in it. First got mixed between The Cathay and Cathay Cineplex of Singapore (as I always do. Sorry, guys), but we made it to the right cinema, and thus to the movie, just in time.

It's a dark movie.

That's what can be said about it in short. If you're suicidal, please don't watch the movie.

Oh well, seems like that's the only thing you can expect from a director that made Requiem for a Dream.

It's a mysterious movie even the way it's produced. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I've been a movie enthusiast whole my life, and I haven't encountered a movie that has 7 different promotional posters that are equally distributed and only 2 stated the name of the director. Isn't it funny that he prefers to be known as 'the director of The Westler' rather than 'Darren Aronofsky'?

And most of them are in the color of black, red, and white.

To my fellow conspiracy theorists, you must know what it means.

For my fellow movie enthusiasts, esp. those who already watched the movie, don't you find it odd that Natalie Portman should play such character? When I got the ticket, I noticed that they printed M18 hugely. When I watch the movie, I thought it's only appropriate. If you're underage, going with a children, or a sex addict, please don't watch the movie.

But I love it.

To be honest, the only other movie I've seen by Aronofsky is Requiem (cos there's Jared Leto in it! *promotion*).

I think I should go watch The Fountain and The Westler now.

But from both movies, I can already draw the distinct styles of the director.

The camera panning, the switching between scenes, the lighting, the synchronization of the visual and the audio, and smooth blend between real shots and CGI.

And the music. Both Requiem and Black Swan had taken the famous music from legendary composers. In this particular movie, the original music from Tchaikovsky was "played backwards and in a distorted manner".

How cool is that.

The soundtracks of the movie stuck in my head long after I went back home, esp. the last scene where Nina performed as the Black Swan. And I don't usually remember musics. It's just all brilliant.

Cinematography aside, the story talks about ambition, obsession, and control, both to ourselves and to other people. It reminds us, everything that's excessive is not good.

There's also the play on mirrors. Mirrors seldom fail in spooking people up, but Aronofsky takes it to the next level.

Then there's the acting and the dancing. Gosh, I forgot how much I loved ballet. Natalie Portman is not only admirable as an actress, but also as a ballerina. Watching her as Nina, one can really see how dedicated she was for the movie. I shall not say further, lest I ruin the movie for you.

Oh yeah, you really should go and watch the movie. Esp. guys, you don't want to miss out the kissing scene between Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis.

"I was perfect."

730th day

2011-02-11T21:58:00.002+08:00

"I want you to know that no matter what happens between us in the future, I’ll always look back and fall in love all over again with you."

My favorite love songs of all time

2011-02-10T15:14:00.000+08:00

-:Y- Hear-melting -Y:-

Christina Aguilera: Without You, Bound to You.

Robbie William: Angels.

Westlife: Every Little Thing You Do, Close, In This Life, That's Where You Find Love.

-:Y- Fun -:Y-

Boyzone: All That I Need

Taylor Swift: Hey Stephen, Mine.

10/27/10

An inception of an idea

2011-02-09T21:14:00.004+08:00

Had a chat with one of my close friends today. I don’t know what got into him when he suddenly said, “How about you created a blog that completely dedicated to write about your boyfriend alone?” My first reaction was, “Are you crazy?” cos the sweet things that I wrote about my bf in my private diary will surely make even Shakespeare blushes and the bad things I wrote about him would make him enrage. Besides, I already have ten blogs under me (literally, which half of them I never updated anymore).

However, after one, two blank blinks, I actually think it’s a good idea. It would be a memento, a white board, and a decoder at the same time. A memento for myself, that decades from now, I’ll be able to look back and remember how much I’ve been loved and how much I’ve loved. A white board for other girls out there, to learn from my love story and decide for themselves, what kind of guy they should choose to accompany them in their life journey. A decoder for guys who keeps saying that girls are difficult to understand, so by reading my blog, they’ll see a relationship from a girl’s perspective.

So I’ve been thinking about it all the way home from my campus. I decided that I’d titled it Journey on Mars. No, not a plagiarism from 30 Seconds to Mars, although they are an inspiration. I just don’t want the title to be mushy like The Love of My Life or random like the one my friend recommended: Zee Zho Zhall Zot Ze Zamed (from He-Who-Shall-Not-be-Named). Just something easy to remember, artistic, and represent the purpose of the blog.

So.. look out. The Journey will start anytime soon. Thanks, kid, sometimes you’re quite inspirational too (translation: kadang2 loe pinter jg yah).

Hot and cold

2011-02-08T19:55:00.006+08:00

Really, honestly, truly? There are only two things I want to see before I die, and they're the opposite of one another. Two of the most magnificent things on earth. One is of nature, one is of mankind. Both are mysterious. Both are my absolute favorite things on earth, yet I haven't seen both for real.

When I was younger, I had this friend whom I made scrapbook with. And in the book, we called ourselves 'winter girl' and 'summer girl' :D Guess which one am I? ;)

I've learnt..

2011-01-30T19:51:00.003+08:00

..it's important to reply what other people leave on your Facebook wall.

Otherwise, there could be misunderstandings and sometimes, it could be hurtful.

Yep, that's how much Facebook has changed our lives.

Cherish everyone that walks by your life (even the annoying ones!), cos someday, they might walk away and you'd never see them again.

..life should be like train: it has a purpose, it knows where it's going and it has the motion needed to reach that destination.

- as been said by Dagny Taggart of Atlas Shrugged

The funny things in life

2011-01-28T22:03:00.003+08:00

Along the way, I notice that there are many things that are (ironically) funny about this life. Or to be exact, about people. Here are some of them. I'll update this post when I find more funny things..

Funny how there's more freedom of speech, but less people who speak up their minds.

Funny how there are many who are conceited, but few can truly love themselves.

Funny how when you've never experienced something, you have no problem living without it. But once you've tasted something --anything.. you crave it, miss it, addicted to it.

Funny how people don't like to be lied to, but only a few who can handle the truth.

It's expensive to be a woman..

2011-01-12T17:50:00.000+08:00

..when you're happy, you want to celebrate with shopping.

..when you're sad, you want to cheer yourself up with shopping.

..when you're bored, you want to fill your time with shopping.

..when you're sick, you want to make yourself feel better with shopping.

But don't worry boys, SOME girls actually know how to earn their own money to spend (and some boys actually ask money from them).

Mrs. vs Mistress

2011-01-08T13:02:00.015+08:00

I had a dream last night. I think I read Atlas Shrugged too much; too obsessed. The dream was very much like the lame Korean TV series (sorry for those who's insulted), but nevertheless affected my mood in the morning. Esp. when I'm not a morning person and I'm pretty much bored in this glorious Saturday.

Anyway, the gist of the dream was, my bf in the real world -Z- was actually married and I'm just his mistress. In the dream, I had an illness and was dying (told ya it's like Korean TV dramas!). Ironically, Z's wife was my friend but she didn't know about our affair and she's the one who came to my house to take me to hospital. When I was in her car, Z was there, with their children too. But Z refused to talk to me, or even acted like he knew me at all.

It feels so sad. You know how the feelings are real even though it's just a dream. And it got me thinking, I used to think that it's better to be mistress (no arguments yet, please):

Wife: Clean up the house, take care of the kids, cook, wash, iron, deal with the in-laws, live at the mercy of monthly allowance from the husband, no time to dress up and exercise > accused of being ugly slob.. *the list goes on*

Mistress: Need only to attend to the guy once in a while, have time for career and exercise and shop, get expensive stuffs and gifts from the guy, no need to attend to the in-laws.

Well, you get the idea. But of course, I know better now. The above statements work only when you don't love the guy. When you do love the guy, it's miserable to be the second lady -or nobody at all, depends on the mercy of the guy. Imagine the feeling of being abandoned when you need him and how he won't recognize you in public. Imagine the torment (esp. when you're dying like in my dream)!

So remember the next time you're in a cross-road of choices: don't ever want to be the number 2 and don't ever get involved with an attached guy. I can give you a long cliché reasons and arguments, but here's a short one: if you believe you deserve nothing less than the best things, don't.

Additions: Seems like this blog has aroused lots of strong opinions. I guess I have to straighten few things out. So don't complain if this most has become longer, you better read it all, you asked for it.
First of all, the reason why I mentioned Atlas Shrugged is cos there's a sideways story of the main character where she's become a so-called mistress. That particular story affected me so much that I kept thinking about it. And that's probably why I dreamt what I dreamt, cos when I read/watch something, I tend to think too much about it. When I think too much about it, I tend to dream about it.

Secondly, I said 'lame Korean dramas' just for the story line. I didn't compare or mix the two (Atlas Shrugged and Korean dramas) together; there's no way for me to do so. The story line of my dream is lame, but there's nothing lame about the feelings. Imagine you're at the edge of life and the person you love the most was there, but refuse to acknowledge you. It's not lame, it's heartbreaking.

Thirdly, let's not take life literally, shall we. 'Wife' or 'mistress' are just labels. Failure of human language; my bad. What I meant earlier was, being the mistress is being the number 2 (or beyond) in a guy's life. You could be married to him legally, have a ring with his name on it on your ring finger, but if he couldn't care less if you leave him anytime, then you're not more important than his job or his maid, therefore, you're just a mistress by definition.
Or on the other side, you both could be just 17 y.o., but he shares everything with you, from his dreams to his phobia, from his strengths to his weaknesses. Then you're already his "wife". Get it? Oh well, "if you don't understand, I can't explain it."

2010-12-08T21:44:00.002+08:00

To be better than others is not special.
To be more open-minded is favorable.

To have more tolerance than others is rare.

To be objective is wise.

Hang on.. I'm not sure what I'm trying to say XD

"Where is your God?"

2010-12-03T01:39:00.011+08:00

And so today was the big reveal. And so, this blog's gonna be long.
Thirty Seconds to Mars has just launched their newest music video for the song 'Hurricane'. Jared has said that it's going to be sexual, but I never imagined it'd be THAT sexual. G-string, check. Handcuff and blindfold, check. Bunny costume, check. Full bondage, check. Drag queen, check. He even taught the fans (the innocents) a brand new word: the Gimp.

Cinematography-wise, it's nicely done and very artistic. The opening scene of the city night with thunders, Shannon riding his bike. Then a knock on the door. Then opened by the mini song 'Escape'. Immediately you have the flight-or-fight reaction. It's better than any horror movies I've seen lately. Then there's a lot of slow-motion moments a la 'A Beautiful Lie'. The sound editing is also nice, with the switching between the silence of the night and everything else that's going on. They should release this in blu-ray.

Personally, I love the video. People might say it's too sexual, too vulgar. But come on, let's not be hypocrites. For those who have experienced sex, we think about it. Some just sometimes, some more often. Sure, there'd be the young ones that might see. However, rather than let them learn through sneaky-sneaky way, I'd rather them to see it out in the open and that way they can just ask questions directly. It's also a lesson for everyone else. For those who do not know and realize that these things are happening all around us. Open your eyes.

Well, you might call me bias. Whatever, I worship Jared Leto. He's brilliant. He's like Leonardo daVinci of 21st century (ok, a bit of exaggeration there), he has this seemingly abstract thinking but but when you look at it, it's a deep one and actually makes sense.

Take the video for example. For many people, the video is what my boyfriend sees as: "Jared Leto half naked and looking for his shirt the whole 13 minutes video." (Yes, the video is 13 minutes long. It's a short movie). But guys, open your eyes.

The sexual issues, technical discussion, and personal rants aside, there's something more to the video. It's what Jared had always asked the Echelon to find. The Argus Apocraphex. From this point on, I'll be talking in terms that only 30StM fans understand. So, everyone else.. apologies..

Watching the video, I kept thinking, 'Do you have to make it so obvious, Jared?'. Even right from the start, the sign was there:
Then there's sacred three: birth, life, death. The keys, attached to red ribbons. Four Tomos and three Shannons - multiple personalities? Religious leaders burning their books of faith. Twins/mirrored image - dualism. Symbols written on walls and roads. Robotic children. Goat-like gimp.

Oh, Terry Richardson --a dead give a way. I don't like that guy, btw.

Everything was done in split second. Smart, Jared. Talking about subliminal messages.

Yeah, alright, we get what you're trying to say. I even looked for the black-and-white checkered floor, but it's not there.
But the next question is, are you with them or are you against them?
I'm waiting for your next videos.. your next codes, Mr. Cubbins.

Deep in the dead darkness.
Peering.
Long i stood there.
Wondering.. fearing.. doubting..
Dreamings dreams no more elaborate than i dare to dream before.

2010-12-02T18:40:00.001+08:00

I'll be good for the rest of the year, cos I've got my Christmas gift.
I'll study hard for Econs n BuStrat, cos I've got my prize :D

Soooo... after much complications, struggles, trials and tribulations... I'm going to Vietnam! *jengjeng* Or to be precise, Hanoi. Starting from 18th this month, all the way till 28th. Yep, going to spend Christmas over there ^^

It's the first time I bought an airplane ticket myself.

The first time I bought an airplane ticket online myself.

The first time I buy anything online myself.

The first time I'm going to fly alone.

The first time I'm going to an Indochina country.

(The first time I spend Christmas in a country that doesn't not celebrate Christmas).

Quoting one of my friends fave quote, "Yay, me!"

But hold one, one more -or rather, two- obstacle to tackle first. Exams (>_<) The first one is my weakness, Econs.

But anyway, the subject will come handy in the future. So, gotta love it, understand it, be familiar with it.

Must survive this. WILL survive this. I already got my prize.

2010-11-29T23:13:00.005+08:00

Protège-moi de mes désirs.

Protects me from my desire.

2010-11-21T22:06:00.005+08:00

Have you ever love someone so much, you don't want to continue to do so cos it starts to hurt?

2010-10-30T23:14:00.001+08:00

Amazon.com Widgets

2010-10-15T11:44:00.011+08:00

Have you ever come across a song that brings back certain feelings, the exact feeling like when you heard it so many years ago? Imagine you 17 songs just like that, in a CD! It just happened to me and I overwhelmed with feelings! It's been so long, I've even forgotten half of the songs' titles but here they are, spicing up my life again.

Now, the history of the CD is interesting. When I was in high school in humble Batam island, it's difficult to come across your favorite song. You can only hear them in radio, while radio only plays the hits. So there's a friend of mind who was business-minded, who downloaded songs from the net and sell 17 songs in a CD for Rp. 10,000,- So I bought one from him, with my own chosen songs Why didn't I download them myself? Cos 1) I was bad with internet and 2) Batam was bad with internet. Why didn't I ask my fast-forward brother? Cos he's too busy to do it.
Anyway, here's the list of my chosen songs with bits of comments on some of them, just to share with you (recommended too, if you want to explore old songs).

1. Survivor by Destiny Child
2. The Call by Backstreet Boys

Hmmm just simply reminds me of how my dad always did the same thing and to reminds me to NOT do this kind of thing to anyone.

3. The One by Backstreet Boys

By same boyband, with almost the same title, but the story of the song is totally different from the previous one. This song is very special to me.. inspiring and triggering a fantasy ;)

4. Losing Grip by Avril Lavigne

Ah.. the glory of Avril Lavigne once upon a time. For me, this song isn't about ex-bf, more for 'a certain person' that should be supporting me morally, but "weren't there when I was scared".

5. Summertime of Our Lives by A1

A cheerful song, to cheer you up during the everlasting summer in Asia.

6. Can't Fight the Moonlight by LeAnn Rimes

This song is special cos it's the soundtrack of a movie, Coyote Ugly. The movie is not particulary awesome or anything, but it hold a personal sentiment for me.

7. The Real Slim Shady by Eminem

Eminem.. Eminem.. what can I say? Love him, hate him. But you can't deny that he's talented. Or should I say f****ing talented?

8. No More by A1

The media mad a huge fuss about this song, that year (2001, if I remember correctly) cos the video was filmed in Singapore. And you can imagine how fussy the Singaporean media had been..

9. Like a Virgin by Madonna

Never liked Madonna, but song was also triggered by a fuss: In VMA 2003, Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera sang it before Madonna turned up and kissed them onstage.

10. Graduation (Friend Forever) by Vitamin C

This is our graduation song T.T we asked where will be when we're 25, and now we're closing in finding the answer..

11. I Love It When We Do by Ronan Keating
12. Ain't That a Kick in the Head by Westlife
13. The Way You Make Me Feel by Ronan Keating.

Lovely song. Hopefully I can make someone feel that way (sounds impossible XD).

14. Life for Rent by DiDo

If you're a tad melancholy and into philosophy, and in for an emo song, listen to the song.

15. Stuck in My Heart by C21

Such a sweet, sweet song. I know the band is kinda lame, just another boyband. But the song sounds so sweetly sincere.

16. Coming Home Now by Boyzone

I don't know why, but this song makes me think of Ireland. Some years ago, I wanted so bad to go to Ireland. Well, I still do, but not as bad.

17. Jangan Ganggu Banci by Project Pop

If you understand Indonesian, this song is HIL-LA-RIOUS. Have a listen. Made my day just to remember the song.

Seems like this one is such a long post *lol* Oh well, just want to share something's that dear to me. Happy exploring!

My horoscope

2010-10-14T11:11:00.005+08:00

My horoscope for the day o.O Describing exactly what I'm going through. Every word is exactly as said, none has been edited:

You are able to make everything look easy today, but you're probably stressing a lot more than anyone realizes. These aren't easy times because you can see divergent paths, yet neither option is perfect. Eventually, you will have to stop the analysis process and just make a choice. Remember, it's usually best to choose love over fear.

Hitchhiker’s Guide to Venus

2010-09-12T21:28:00.005+08:00

Reading the Guide for Safe Dating for Men, I feel like I have to write something to set few things straight. After all, not all females are air stewardess, florist, or sex therapist. But anyway, this post isn’t that related to that one. So, how many times have you heard guys said that it’s so difficult to please a girl, that girls are so complicated? That’s what I’ve been hearing and buzzing louder in my ears louder lately.

For simplicity's sake, I’ll use 'us' as the representative of girls/females and 'you' as the representative of males. Disclaimer: I’m not an expert, nothing like that goddammed deAngelo, so what I write here by no means ever went through any research. It’s all just based on my observation and my experiences as one of those complicated creatures call the females.
We’re not simple, but we’re not that difficult as well. There's only one rule to keep a girl yours forever: make her the center of your world. Or at least make her think so. Now, the question of ‘how’ that's have different answers for different girl. Hence, that’s why you often hear that girls are difficult to please or to understand. Well, it’s because there's no one-size-fits all tricks to keep us happy. And let me tell you the annoying truth: we don’t know what we want either, most of the time. That’s why no need to ask us what do we want, cos that won’t work.

“A lady never knows what she might need.” Lady Ashley of Australia

But don’t be disheartened just yet. Just by always remembering the fact that we, girls, love that you worship us, you can avoid unnecessary broken plates and broken hearts. Here are a few samples of scenarios that might happen:

If she asks you to read a book, for Ares’ sake, just read it. If you’re not a reader and are too lazy to read, just read the summary somewhere in the internet or ask someone who has read it. Anything. Just make sure that you know what the book is about and know what to say when she talks about the book. If she buys you a book, READ IT. Even though you read one line a day, READ IT. You know what they say, no matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop. And you also know what they say, “Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.” (Joan Crawford).

Now, we know girls like to talk. But when your girl says ‘I want to tell you something’, perk your ears. Drop everything you’re holding, look at her. Your life might depend on it.
Another way to show us that you care is by being jealous. That’s right, be jealous of your girl. Some independent girl might tell you that she likes it that you never jealous of her. That it's cool that you trust her so much. Bla bla bla. Let me tell you. If you want to keep her, you better be jealous of her, at least once every full moon. Even werewolves need to be unleashed every once in a while to stay healthy. It’s like jealousy in a relationship. When you never question when she goes out with her bunch of friends, she’d conclude you don’t care. When you don’t question when she goes out with her best male friend.. uh oh..

Oh, there’s another thing I need to clear up. Men like to accuse us of being cruel by making them jealous. It’s not that we deliberately want to hurt you, we just want to see you care. Or simply take revenge cos you’ve been cruel to us by not being jealous.

“The problem with most men is they're assholes. The problem with most women is they put up with those assholes.” - Cher

2010-08-19T20:31:00.007+08:00

也许你不会懂, 从你说爱我以后,
我的天空星星都亮了.

-童话

Did you check the mail today?
There might be a letter from me to you.
Telling you that I've been missing you.
That I'll walk miles and miles to meet you.
And I have. Only to find that you're not there.

Did you check the mail today?
I've been feeling lonely and all I wanted was to talk to you.
I called and you didn't pick up.
I sent a message and I never know if you received it.
So I sent a mail, but I guess you didn't check the mail box as well.

Now I realized.. You just don't care, you leave me alone like the letter in the box.

Deuteronomy 5:11

2010-06-18T19:05:00.005+08:00

King James version: Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain.

Simple Singlish: Cannot anyhow say God lah!

Totally random..

2010-06-15T18:53:00.000+08:00

Requiem for a Dream
Closer
10,000 BC
Number 23

iFever

2010-06-14T23:10:00.014+08:00

Have you heard the news? iPad was released and iPhone 4 is going to be released soon.

So, there's iSync, iTunes, iWork, iWeb, iMac, iPod Touch, iPhone, iPod Shuffle, iPod Nano, back to iPhone. Did I mention iDVD, iMovie, iPhoto, iDisk? And.. oh, iPhone one more time. Then let's not forget the most majestic of them all, the iPad.

[Wait right there, if you expect this to be a review of the technology, there's no such thing here. You'd only find my rants].
There are two things that bother me here, as much as I like Apple and worship Steve Jobs:

First, Apple is known for their creativity of inventing new things and make their customers believe that they need those things. Then, WHY THE HECK CAN'T THEY INVENT A BETTER NAMING FOR THEIR PRODUCTS? It's starting to get on my nerves.

Second, like I said, Apple (or rather, Steve Jobs) is gifted in telling people that it has invented new things/technology and that they'd need those things. But do we really? Let's see in particular for this iPad thing..

First, the use. So it's a hybrid between a PDA and a laptop (or, how I see it, a PDA that stuck mid-way in its evolution to be a laptop). Was it not intended to be an ebook? Then why does it include a virtual keyboard, web browser, is heavy, and not something that's nicely fit our grip, especially in the toilet? Was it intended to replace laptop? If so, why can't it multitask, open Flash, and -although I heard rumors that it can run up to 10 hours- Jobs didn't mention anything about a strong battery life(time)?

Second thing, the price. The prices of iPad range is between US$ 400-850 which approximately S$ 700-1200. So we have a desktop at home, a laptop in the room, a handphone in the bag, an MP3 player in our pocket (a PDA in another pocket, for some people. An additional PSP in the bag, for some other people), do we really need to buy one more gadget that doesn't really have a special purpose in its life or a special place to fit in? This is what I call the conspiracy of consumerism, when the society backed (or brainwashed) by commercial companies to force poor people in that society "work in a job you hate, to buy stuff that you don't need," and finally, "to impress people that you don't like".

Welcome to the universe.

Oh well.. anyway, don't mind me.. The truth is, I'm just jealous that those Apple products are out of my league of budgeting. Now, go buy your futuristic keyboardless laptop.

Do you want conspiracy with that theory?

2010-05-30T21:50:00.011+08:00

Remember I told you about all those conspiracy theories the other day? Well, I got it going again lately. Can't help it.. everyday life is boring. Conspiracy theories are fun, help me to escape this boring and dull life i'm living. I found this website that basically talks about Fremasonry/Illuminati symbolism in pop culture. At first, it talks about Lady Gaga being a newbie to Illuminati and now she's currently a vigour campaigner of the club. Of course that's very interesting for me, especially when i found her lyrics are bizarre (I'm into songs lyrics too, btw).

So I keep reading and one thing lead to another, and I stumbled on the same website an article on the website that talk about 2009 VMA and how it is only a huge hidden occult ceremony. The writer of the article can really explain phase by phase why he thinks it is a huge stage hidden occultism. It's all logical.

I was so excited. Then I tried to tell my bf about it. You know how fun it is when you're excited about something, you tell someone, then you both discuss about it. I think it's not guys thing. All I got from my bf was "Why are you reading these things?" with why-are-you-reading-these-things-get-a-life look. I have a friend that also into these things with me, and, when we have the chance, always discuss it for hours. But he's doing his final year project now, so he doesn't really have time now. Ooh..how I miss times like that sometimes..

Anyway, I realize I ramble pointlessly in this post (more pointless than ever). Just want to let you know of the existence of these conspiracy theories (but, of course, it's just for fun). So I guess I'll just end your misery right here.

It's always the 'why' that trigger people.

2010-05-29T15:20:00.002+08:00

For the people I love, and who claimed that they love me, and asked why am I such an abhorrent person:

"Cos you don't love me the way I want you to."

One hundred million things

2010-05-14T22:44:00.008+08:00

Feel so empty lately. I think it must be a hype or a contagious disease or something cos everyone I know is feeling the same too. Or maybe it's just a natural part of growing up (if it's not quite obvious, I'm being sarcastic).

"Seems I'm not alone in being alone.."

Tried to write new poems, cos usually that what I do to get things out of my chest. But all that I can thing of is just random sentences that don't quite related to one another. Like a box of all the wrong pieces of puzzle. It's all doesn't make sense.

Once upon a time, not so long ago, I was so driven. New drive to experience new things, being a new better person.

"I try to be someone else, but nothing seems to change. I know know, this is who I really am inside."

Driven to study, to meet new friends, organize some events, do some volunteering. It's all gone now. It's all feel pointless. Study fees hard to find, what's the point of wasting thousands of dollars? I can't even keep my old friends, let alone fine new ones. Events are just a waste of money and energy. There are many other ready to do or already doing the things need volunteering. I'm just another drop in the ocean, another face you pass in the crowd, another existence wasted.

Once upon a time, not so long ago, I was happy. I was a part of a group made of smart people, who do things for others, to contribute. I was a part of a dynamic class, people who come to class in time, respect their lectures, do their homework. Now I am only a part of power-hungry people who don't even know how to change their own diapers. A classmate of people who come an hour late for the class, and roll their eyes and stick their tongues at the lectures, slam the door at the lecturer when she told them they're not allowed to switch tutorial group.
I want to go back to that happy times. Happy.. like Alexander said, only when you look back do you know that was the happiness. There it was, in the past. You're too late.
[Another reason why you shouldn't take things, right here right now, for granted].

2010-05-12T13:06:00.001+08:00

Just finished watching a (really) long movie about Hitler [or some call it a really truly miniseries], thanks Mr. Matahari for generously lending me his DVD. Still, I don't understand what's with this guy, why did he hate Jews so much. I never really read anything on him, never really want to. I watched the movie, there's only one emotion that I feel (out of him and on myself): hatred. Why was Hitler so full of hatred? His life was bad, yes, but there are many who had worse (Nelson Mandela, for one) who turned out to be just alright, or even became a messenger of peace.

It's not easy, of course, to understand how these great people think. I read so many books and articles on Alexander the Great, before I finally see a glimpse of what motivates him: his father. Both admiration and hatred for the father. But still, that's just my conclusion. The real thing, who'd ever know..

On another perspective, both Hitler and Alexader made good leaders. People were afraid of them, maybe, but most of them gladly supported them. Why? I heard leadership is about influence. What made both Hitler and Alexander (plus Genghis Khan, Obama, Cleopatra, you name it) so influential? What made them good leaders? Compassion for their followers? I'm not sure for Hitler, and I'm suspicious not for Napoleon as well. Their great visions? Maybe, but how did they convinced their followers? Ah..so many questions of how and why..

What keeps them going is more complicated. Ambition? Glory? Pride? Greed (like one of my friends said)? A yearn for a change? ..Hatred? Alexander fought on in his war in India when he severly wounded. Achilles (even though he's a mere myth) went to Greek even though it meant he won't live long enought to come back home. Cleopatra's willing to be called Caesar's whore just to keep Egypt safe and strong. And, back to Hilter.. even though he's imprisoned, he kept going on.
Oh, well, I guess it's different for each person, what keeps them going on in their little journey called life.

So.. what keeps YOU going? ;)

Those 5Cs..

2010-05-10T09:30:00.007+08:00

There is this special term in Singapore to see if a guy is worth marrying or not: does he have 5Cs? It stands for Cash, Car, Credit card, Condominium, and membership(s) of Country club [sometimes the package comes with additional C: child(ren)]. Like any other sarcastic joke, noone can tell for sure when or how did the term start. But, to put it simply, it shows you what kind of things that these people values. They think that by having these things (or having the person who have these things), their lives would be easier. But, oh well, who am I to comment on it.. Move on to the next topic..

Singaporeans indeed should start to worry about 5Cs these days, but not the usual ones, but the ones that everybody has a share, no matter from which economy status they come from: the 5 degree celcius, that is. Ok, maybe not exactly 5°C, but you know what I mean. The increase in temperature that's happening lately. This is not an essay, so I won't give you facts and figures or literature references. But you know you can feel it. The temperature is rising.
Weather reports might show projection about the topic, the government might deny it, and experts might living in denial . But can your skin deny it (it's an interesting word, deny is, try to repeat it 7 times in your mind)? Step outside of your house or office, and feel it for yourself.

Then what's the point of my post this time? There's no point, I just want to rant how freaking hot can this place be! Is it really nearing the 2012? I hope August comes soon

Money, money, money..

2010-04-09T00:46:00.004+08:00

Soundtrack of the day: Money, Money, Money by Abba

So I had a fight with a CERTAIN SOMEONE (if you know me, it's quite obvious who that someone is. The only person whom I'm willing to, and can, fight with), few days ago. Can't remember whether it's Sunday or Monday night.
It's so ridiculous. Everything was started just because he ask if he's really an extreme person (as in when he believes something). So I said yes, because when he likes something he keeps repeating that something till he bleeds (or you do).
It was because he fought with his current gf and still can't get over his previous one. And it's all because he's too controlling till the point compulsiveness. Hence, he's an extreme person.

From the question, he moved on saying he's feeling angry every time someone is rude or not respectful to someone older. I replied, I don't care if someone is older, if that someone is rude, of course I won't be polite to him.
That's when the argument goes to my dad. I said I don't respect him cos, first of all, he doesn't respect me and second of all, cos he doesn't respect himself. [I said many more other things, but I shouldn't say it here. If you'd like to know, call me].
Long story short, from there he started to accuse me, 'That's your problem, you're one rude person.' And started to list my sins from 10 years ago. That's including my mom's perception (who is not on earth anymore since 6.5 years ago, btw) and my dad's opinion. Including why I wasn't or am not respected by my family: because I was a liar.

Which he concluded by saying, 'Do you know why I didn't transfer you money last month? Because you're being disobedient. I told you so many times to clean up the room, but you just wouldn't. 'I learnt from David D'Angelo [a devil he worships] that you shouldn't be too nice to girls. When she starts to be disobedient, you should punish her. One thing that I learnt from dad is that your weakness is money, everytime I give you less money, you'll be nice to me. So I didn't give you money.'

~~He can go to hell with that.~~ First, I'm impudent, then I'm a liar, now I'm materialistic. All of the three, I take the most insult in the last one. I answered him, "That's precisely why I don't respect you, and dad. You try to control people. And the more you try to be less like dad, the more you grow up exactly like him."
What I meant was, my dad is also a worshipper of money and power. He'd sold me if that means people will think he's awesome.

I share this because I want people (at least those who's reading this) to know, to learn, to understand the lesson of the story:
Come on, how many thousands of times has it been said? How many times more do you need to hear it? Money can't buy happiness. And you bet that money can't buy family.
The most valuable things in this world, you gotta earn. EARN, not buy [well, sometimes you're given, like love. But, again, you don't -can't- buy]. You want respect? Be respectful, earn it.
You want to be respected? Respect other people first.
And remember, the love of money is the root of all evil^. Remember, not the money itself, but it's THE LOVE of money that is evil. Be careful.

Happy Easter Day!

2010-04-03T13:08:00.003+08:00

It's Easter day.. I want to dedicate the greetings especially to:
Novi Triana, Rosiana, Adeline, Selamat, Tomy and Tony,
Inez, Felix, Novi Rusli, Ine, Rachel,
and Alfin.

Hope we don't forget the meaning of Easter. The following song is very sweet, just right to describe our faith and hopefully reminds us always about it:

Here is another version, just as good:

The joy of a child

2010-03-30T21:21:00.009+08:00

There's one story in 'Friends' the TV series, where Phoebe and Rachel went jogging together. Rachel later finds out that Phoebe has a weird way of running. And when I say weird, it's WEIRD, with hands all over the place and legs going apart from each other.
When confronted about this, Phoebe says she just run the way she did as a child, careless and free.

Kinda true at some point.
As we grow older, what we care is how people will see us, what people might think, what people might say. But we're missing the point.
For example, when SOME girls are going swimming, what they think about is, which bikini they should wear, what color, what model, are they slim enough, do they push the bikini pad enough, how should they tie their hair. In the end they didn't swim at all, but merely sitting around at the beach or at the side of the pool -to show off their bods, bikini and hair (or maybe that's their purpose from the beginning).

I have a little sister who's only 3 years and a half now. Whenever we say we're going to the beach, she'll jump to the door and ready to go. Sometimes, she doesn't even give a damn if she hasn't wiped her mouth from her lunch spread.
She doesn't jump to the front of the mirror, or to her closet to pick the best swimming suit or beach wear. Because children still stick to the real meaning of things: if we go to the swimming pool, we swim. If we go to the beach, we swim, we play with sand, we get dirty (not that kind of dirty, pervs out there).

So, moral of the story today: don't fret over what people want to say. As long as your conscience is clear, just do whatever you need to do. Don't be fake. And don't lose meaning of things. Do your things because you like to, because you're enjoying yourself. Not because it's the hip/cool/popular thing to do.

Btw, in the end, Rachel follow Phoebe's running style ;)

Tying the knot is suffocating

2010-03-25T01:44:00.011+08:00

SotD: Underappreciated by Christina Aguilera.

Actually, I want this title to be the title of the book that I will write in the future. But 'future' is a a faraway place.
So here, I'll give you, few lucky people, a sneak peek to my future book.

When I was younger (well, I'm still young *ahem*), I made a promise to myself that I won't get married. I told that to a few close friends who quickly exclaimed "WHY NOT?!" As usual, secret spreads fast. So soon enough, most of my classmates knew about it (can't help it, I was so popular *cough*). And they all exclaimed "WHY NOT?!" Usually, I would answer, 'why should I?' But they wouldn't take that for an answer. That's how the idea of writing the book come about.

I started to list to myself all the reasons why I don't want to get married. I surprised myself: there are so many reasons. As this is a sneak peek, I'll only tell you one of the reasons (anyway, it'd be too long if I tell you everything and you won't read till the end): I don't believe in marriage.
Come on, who are we kidding? Why do people these days get married? Ask that to Westerners, they'd say, "cos we love each other". What's love? They'll stare at you blankly.
Ask that to Asians, they'd say, "cos we have to, if not, the family line won't go on". Now I'm the one who stare at them blankly.

Marriage should be a commitment. But what a does commitment mean when they can break it by divorce? It's only make the commitment more expensive. And worse when they already have kid(s). They stay together because they have to, not because they want to. It's a thing I hate to do, those must-do things. Well, when the arranged marriages were a trend, the couple had to stay together. But then, they accept it and they learn to love each other. Or at least, they learn to accept each other.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying this because I keep meeting horrible guys. I have one faboulous boyfriend, one wise god-brother or two, and a couple of great guy friends. But still, I don't believe in marriage. If we can keep our love strong for a lifetime, we don't need a label titled 'marriage' to stick us together.

If you still don't understand the whole thing I'm saying, this reason is described just right by 'Underappreciated', a song by Christina Aguilera (oh Christina.. still my hero). Old song, but in a way reminds me (still) why i don't want to get married.
Oh, the reason is also pictured nicely by the movie '500 Days of Summer', from Summer's perspective.

"Eagles fly alone." -AtG

2010-03-18T22:14:00.003+08:00

"Don't talk to PR persons, they are paid to tell you a version of truth."
-Dr. Stephen McIlwaine.

John 4

2010-03-15T13:21:00.006+08:00

Always feel so depressed lately. I don't know why. Just feel like I lose the will to live (not like it's something new). Everything's dark, everything's annoying. Everything's wrong. If I have just one wish, I wish I were never born. Let the traces of me be erased from the history of the world.

Oh, wanna talk about something that IS new: Finally, after devil-knows-how-many-weeks since the last time I did, I went to church yesterday (no, Felix, not your kind of church).
The church sucked as usual, the people were fake as usual. But there's something soothing: the sermon is about John 4:1-26. John has always been one of my favorite books in the Bible (yes, even a devil like me do read Bible sometimes). John is always different from Matthew, Mark or Luke in telling about Jesus. And this particular passage, tells about 'Jesus and the Woman of Samaria'.
I've read the passage so many times before, heard it preached in the church so many times before. But never did I realize what it means. It doesn't only show that Jesus have no problem mingling with other races or sinners, or both, but He also have no problem in mingling with women.

Sounds simple?
Not for me. Like I said, for me, it's something very soothing. Jesus isn't sexist. Jesus doesn't think that men are higher than women. Jesus doesn't think that women are lower than men. He practiced what He preached: everyone's equal.

I'm not talking about religion, I'm not talking about God. I'm not the person who has rights to talk about such things. I merely talk about a great historical figure, a brilliant philosopher, who wants us to see what true morality is.

This further reminds me the many things I've believed long time ago and have forgotten now. Somebody out there love you, not matter you want to believe it or not. ~~Even if everyone left, you'll have One Person that will always stay~~. Treat everyone else the way you want to be treated.

MadLOVE

2010-03-15T01:47:00.003+08:00

Random lovely quotes about love, from all around. No copyrigh infringement intended, just helping to spread the love.

I don't care about your imperfections that's what makes me adore you.

You had me from the day you smiled.

I don't like missing you. But I love having you to miss.

Let's kiss in the rain… Where the rain is so hard that the only thing we can see is each other.

So what if I think too much or if I over analyze things. So what if I can't eat or sleep… At least you'll know why. You're always on my mind.

~~He means the world to her and she doesn't even know it.~~

Sometimes one smile means more then a dozen roses.

~~I have more feelings for you, than any other girl ever will.~~

It's all just magic when I think about you. And when I'm not with you, I go crazy.

If a guy really likes you he'll listen to what you have to say and not what he hears from others.

You know you're in love when you see that someone and your heart flutters, your stomach gets butterflies, and the rest of the world disappears

We're all a little weird. And life's a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up in mutual weirdness and call it love.

It's completely impossible to find a guy who won't ever hurt you, so go for the guy who will make the pain worthwhile.

Let's set the record straight. No one makes me smile quite like you do

3/4/7

2010-03-13T22:38:00.004+08:00

Sometimes, the answer we've been looking for is right around the corner.
Sometimes, we're just delaying to make the turn.

A call to arms..

2010-03-02T18:55:00.007+08:00

Soundtrack of the day: A Call to Arms by 30 Seconds to Mars

This is a call to arms, gather soldiers
Time to go to war
This is a battle song, brothers and sisters
Time to go to war

For one, I've finally decide which song from 30 Seconds to Mars is my first favorite. Despite of everything that I've said about their new album, 30 Seconds to Mars is still inspiring for me. I guess that's what it is with good stuffs, you have to savour them first to be able to truly enjoy them ;)

Did you ever believe?
Were you ever a dreamer?
Ever imagine heart open and free?
~~Did you ever deny? Were you ever a traitor?~~
~~Ever in love with your bloodless business?~~

Yup, inspiring me. In this dull life, in an even duller world. With the dullest people. Don't get me wrong, I have few great friends, the wisest people you'll ever meet. But compare to others that surrounding me, they are so few and so far.
I've always been a depressed girl by nature. But lately, it's all coming back to me. Like reading too much Ecclesiastes. Feel sick of everything. Where's the promise of "your tears will dry, you'll soon be free to fly"^? It doesn't exist. Just a well-worn dream.
You do this, do that, this, that, this, back again. Like a cassette being played once too often. Thinking those things will make life easier, yourself likable, your dreams one step closer. But nuh-uh. You only one step closer to the end of your life, or the end of the world, or whichever is closer.
And, bad news, things will only get worse the further you go from the time you were born.

Ever want to be free?
Do you even remember?
Want to be God, the Devil like me?
Ever want to just stop? Do you want to surrender?
Or fight for victory?

Good questions. Everyone wants to be free. But few remember.
Look around. No need to be too far. Look at the mirror. Do you feel bitter inside? Lonely? Unloved? Why?
I know few of my friends that have blogs. Most of the content of their blogs are about disappointment, bitterness, anger, hatred. Why?
Because few remember. Of their dreams. Of their purposes in life. Of their motivation. Of the answer of what should they fight for.
But how should we remember, when this life force us to only remember about one thing: MONEY? Gosh, I can go on and on about that.

Darkness falls, but here comes the rain
To wash away the past and the names
Darkness falls, here comes the rain
To end it all, the blood and the game

But everything has an end, right? Based on some beliefs, the world will come to an end. The old will pass, the new comes. Tears, pain, sadness will be wiped away.
Well, bad news again, though, it's only for few chosen ones.

Far, far away in a land that time can't change
Long, long ago in a place of hearts and gold
Far, far away in a land that time can't change
Long, long ago in a place of hearts and gold

Lesson to learn (for myself too): keep fighting. The battle isn't over yet.
If you think you're at the bottom of the pit, take heart, because when you're at the bottom of the pit, there's only one way left to go: UP.

This is a call to arms... brothers and sisters

The most bizarre (and yuck) animals ever

2010-02-22T12:50:00.009+08:00

I was entertaining myself the other day by searching for weird-looking animals. You know, something that'd be amusing. Here are what I found. And I thought I've seen everything...

Narwhal
Well, this one isn't so yucky, but it's worth a note. It is actually a kind of whale, but the weird thing about it has an incisor tooth (front tooth) that projects from the left side of the upper jaw. Maybe that's how the inspiration of Unicorn image came about? According to National Geographic, it "is the unicorn of the sea".

Anglerfish
Maybe there's nothing really weird about how it looks (yeah, it's ugly, but not enough to make your jaw drops like the next fish), except that it has a "lantern" hanging from its head to draw an innocent un-suspecting food-to-be. But what struck me when I read about this fish is the way it mates.
The guy will bite into the female skin, "and releases an enzyme that digests the skin of his mouth and her body, fusing the pair down to the blood-vessel level" ^."Without any need for most of his organ systems, such as eyes and digestive organs, the male's body degenerates into essentially a pair of sperm-producing testicles. Thus the female essentially becomes a hermaphrodite with up to six or more of these tiny male parasites attached to various parts of her body. Although functionally bisexual, the eggs and sperm come from genetically distinct parents, thus providing vital genetic variability through meiosis and genetic recombination." ^That's like having sex with a corpse!

Monkfish
Well, I find this fish weird cos, obviously, this is the ugliest fish I've ever seen.
In China, they actually cook the fish as delicacy.

Blobfish
Wait, I change my mind. THIS is.
Blobfish live in a very deep ocean (around Australian and Tasmania) where the water pressure can make other fish's ability to swim useless. That's why, this fish adapt by staying as only a blob, so they don't have to waste energy to swim or do anything at all. Because it lack of activity, blobfish don't develop any muscle. Interesting...talking about sloth..

Blood Squirting Lizard
The lizard itself is alright, but it has an awesome defense mechanism. One thing that we can learn from the lizard: stand up for yourself even until the last drop of blood (sampai titik darah penghabisan?).

Chinese giant salamander
Afraid of worms? How about a GIANT worms with fingers?

Japanese jellyfish (?)
I'm not sure if this animal is for real -I didn't find any other source that talk about it, but it sure is interesting to note. Watch the video to experience its weirdness (just jump to the end if you're impatient).

Here are links to more weird animals:
Weirdest sea creatures ever
Strangest animals on earth
Strangest animals
New species
20 weirdest and ugliest looking animals on earth
Strangest endanger species
25 worlds weirdest animals

Battle of the sexes

2010-01-27T11:47:00.006+08:00

This is a reply for Mr. Matahari's blog about Asian culture that prefer sons to daughters. It's true that MOST Asian family prefer first child to be a boy, especially Chinese. And interestingly, I notice that it's the father who always wants a son.
I just can't accept the reasons Mr. Felix put forward of why baby boy is more welcome in a family. I know there's so much more that those reason. I know, I experience it firsthand to gather up the information.

Son preference in India.

1. Of course it's about family name. It's not just a name, however, it represents your money and all your vain mortal belongings. There a certain holy rule that says you can only pass on the money you can't take to heaven, to a bloodline that has your name. Ever wonder why some people even named their son his-own-name Jr.? Imagine if you could bring the money to heave..that'd be interesting.
And more than that, it's about pride. When a girl married off to another guy, she has to have that guy's family name (another holy rule to follow), thus, the girl is no longer a part of her own family. True story, my mom said that she's so sad that someday I'd be some other family's belonging. Good job in making me not wanting to get married, mom.

2. Boys require lower maintenance. For girls, as they grow up, you need to supply for make-up, dresses, clothes, khakis, pants, scarves. And all in different colors. Not to mention the pad supply you have to buy monthly. As for boys, monochrome shirts and jeans will usually do. And when they have gfs, daddies would just use the mantra, 'if you're old enough to date girls, you're old enough to get your own money'.
True story, once upon a time when I was still innocent, my dad said, "mmmh..daddy's little girl. This one's gonna spend so much." I didn't understand then, but I completely understand now that I've de-innocenized myself.

3. They think that boys would definitely want more to take care of them. Or at least, have the ability to. That is also based on true story, in which my dad said that he "wouldn't expect too much for Berlin (that's me) to take care of him when he's old".

Welcome to the universe.

The verdict: It depends on the parents, each family is different. Some family are just ****ed-up; they don't know how to be parents thus causing the children feel like their unwanted.

Moral of the story: Don't have children when you still one yourself. Don't have one when you think you're ready. And definitely don't have one when all you want is "that cute little thing" on your arms.

Part poem, part narcissism

2010-01-20T13:58:00.004+08:00

Okay, I admit, this post is neither about any significant life lesson or anything brilliant. It just about me.. I mean, I've written so many posts in this blog, not to mention my other blogs.. but do you -the readers- know who am I? At some point, even I forget who I am..

So here it is..
My name is Eva Berlin Fransiskus.

Eva as in the Hebrew 'Eve', which means the giver of life.
But I'm no giver of life, I'm not even sure if I have a life of my own. So how do I give life to others?

Berlin as in Berlin Wall, Berlin.
Maybe that's why I have an expression as stoic as the stones.
Maybe that's why I have walls arond me that keep away strangers,
and keep the people I love trapped.

Fransiskus, as in Franciscus Asisi or Franciscus Xaverius.
But I'm not saint, not even a half.
And it's with s and k, instead of c and c.
Cos I'm an Indonesian and thus the Indonesian spelling.

Moral of the Story: There's so much you can learn just simply from a person's name. We can even know about one's parents and one's background if we dig deep enough.

Free/Masonry (pun intended)

2010-01-10T15:14:00.006+08:00

I think I'm crazy. And be assure that many people can testify the validity of the probability.

So here's one of my craziness. Today, I'm going to talk about Freemasonry.
Did I tell you how did I first comprehensively told about the fraternity? Oh, no, I didn't. Well, it was on 14 December 2009.
It was my friend's b'day party, and he booked a chalet for us to have fun and stay overnight. But, of course, as a true anti-socialist, I withdrew from the room instead, with few friends.
That was when, the night grew older and people grew drunk-ier (yes, they were drinking alcohol), one of my closest friends told me about a conspiracy theory: Michael Jackson was killed.

Being a fan of Michael Jackson for so many years, he never failed to follow the news about the King of Pop. He told me what he's read about why some people suggested that MJ was killed, and who was the suspect. That was when we got into Freemasonry.

I've heard about Freemason, of course (and gravely mistakenly associated it with Charles Manson), mostly just because of Dan Brown's Illuminati, and further more, The Lost Symbol. But what I heard on that night was overwhelming, all the conspiracy theory.
I won't elaborate what I heard here, what Freemasonry is, why would they kill MJ, and so on. First, cos it's a long story. A half told information is dangerous. Second, cos it's just a theory, not proven yet as a fact (and probably won't ever be proven).
I just want people to realize, that this ancient Fraternity do exist. They even admit it openly themselves. I just want people to open their eyes, and realize.

Click here for the complete how-why-what of Freemason.

Moral of the story: be aware of everything around you.
Not necessary just about Freemason, but about many things. Question everything, that's what I learn from my Journalism course. Few things are out there accidentally, everything else is out there for a reason, through a long planning.

How?

2010-01-06T01:45:00.004+08:00

How do we know when someone truly loves us?

When he doesn't sms during your exam and reply after long after
--cos he wants you to concentrate on your work?
When he doesn't display your picture together in Facebook, because it's not necessary
--people already see you together in person?
When he doesn't upload your picture together, because he wants to keep it private
--only for your eyes and his?
When he tells noone about your relationship because he thinks people would see themselves
--you are together, that's the fact?
When he let go off your hand around his friends cos he wants to show you respect
--to show that he's not always all over you?

The things that I don't understand...

I've learnt..

2010-01-01T10:50:00.003+08:00

"It's always easier to go down than to go up."

"Smart people.. they think they know everything. While the truth is, 'everything' is just too much. Even for them."

- inspired by Ronald K.

It's interesting to board the early morning bus, during the twilight hour. You'd meet two kinds of people..

One is the clubbers.
Just got back from from enjoying their secular happiness. You'd find them reek of alcohol, acting and dressing like they're the queens and kings of the world. No one is better than them, and who cares about tomorrow, tomorrow will soon be yesterday. Fade and forgotten.

The second kind, however, is the ones who start their day early.
Early birds get the worms, they say. The second kind is mostly made up of the older generation. Those who know, and have learnt, that 'tomorrow' must be prepared and that 'yesterday' will become the pages of your history, of which people would read to see who you are.

The question is, since I was among them, which kind am I belong to?

Somewhere in between..

Happy new year, everyone.

This blog has changed..

2009-12-23T22:08:00.006+08:00

I have changed. This blog should changed.
For some time, I've learnt to think what is the purpose of doing the things that we do. There is no point of doing something that doesn't influence other people in a good way.
So I thought, what is the purpose of this blog? No, it's not to tell the world about me, nor to bored them with my "whinings". It shouldn't be.

The purpose of this blog, from now on, is to tell you the few life lessons I've learnt, so you yourself don't have to make the mistakes to learn them. Your life is too short for that.
By writing them here, I will also be always reminded about them.

2009-12-23T21:59:00.005+08:00

My horoscope for today:

"Rest and relaxation are the order of the day today, Sagittarius, but since rest is not a part of your usual vocabulary, it would benefit you to go over recent problems and mistakes, and figure out what you've learned from them. Rethinking the significance of your experiences is a good thing, as long as you don't get caught up in what you should have done. There is nothing more counterproductive than turning your own feelings against you, and that's what you'll be doing if you dwell in negative spaces that, for all intents and purposes, no longer exist."

That brings us to the next discussion: What is it that you really want in your life?

Soundtrack of the day: The Fantasy by 30 Seconds to Mars

'The War' is here..

2009-12-13T23:24:00.003+08:00

Much anticipated (for Echelon, at least) 30 Seconds to Mars' album is finally unveiled. As you might have heard, it's called 'This Is War'.
It's quite a sensitive title, I'd say. With so many wars going on, people might get it all wrong.

So Jared tweeted (yes, he tweets and yes, I'm a follower) a review on it. Of course, it's a good review that he posted. But, let's face the truth: it's not their best album.
Well, they have only three albums so far, so they still have many chances.
You can have a peek of the songs here.

Their first single, Kings and Queens, is fine. But why am I always reminded of Iris everytime I hear it?
Long intro in Escape.. too Metallica. Even the title is from one of Metallica's songs. A tribute for the legendary metal band?
What's with 100 boys singing in 100 Suns? It might give a nice effect in The Kill, but sorry Jared, the magic wears off.
What's with the Westlife-y songs like Alibi (100 Suns too, actually)?
And what's with the album's cover, really?

Where's the soul of 30 Seconds to Mars that once lived in Fortification, Anarchy in Tokyo, Buddha for Mary, even From Yesterday?
It's beating only half-alive through Vox Populi and Stranger in A Strange Land. Their lyrics never fail, though. Love especially Stranger in A Strange Land.

"I'm a ghost, you're an angel."

Well, I'm not a musician, really, so can't really comment on their music. At least they don't start singing about love and broken-hearts. If they do, that'd be the last day I'm an Echelon.

Best birthday ever!

2009-12-04T23:16:00.000+08:00

Aaaaargh..

2009-11-24T23:47:00.001+08:00

Is IT next week already?
Can't believe it. Don't want to be. Just wanna stay this way.
I don't ask for sweet 17th always. Just this way. Can I?

Just a quick drop by..

2009-11-18T00:56:00.006+08:00

..actually, just so this blog of mine isn't so dry.

I have this assignment where I have to write about our "evocative objects". It sound so grand, doesn't it, 'evocative'? Well, it's actually it only means "memorable items".
So I did. It turned out to be so corny. But somehow, in a weird way, I'm kind of proud that I can be so corny. So here it is, I just want to share with you:

Click to download

Pak SBY

2009-11-15T00:39:00.009+08:00

Went to Indonesian Embassy today. The President of Indonesia, Pak Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono (or more often called SBY), was dropping by Singapore. And he wanted to "meet" the Indonesian students here. I was there, with few others, to represent the Indonesian students from my campus. So there we were, "meeting" him.
Not so much of a meeting, not exactly. Cos we saw him, he didn't see us. We sit there listening to him, and he stands there, not exactly listening to us.

But anyway, it was a good experience. It's not everyday you can sit only 10 metres away from a president (without someone pointing you a gun).
One thing I noticed about him, he is indeed a very good orator (someone who give a speech). I find that smart people give good speeches. And SBY, he reminds me of Indonesian first president, Pak Soekarno. One who states important things, fervently, and somehow make people believe in what he says.
Oh, for Indonesians who's reading this, do you know that you can sms the President directly? Just sms 9949, and the President's secretary will sort out your smses (of course, if the smses are not important, it won't ever reach SBY).

Fine, fine.. no worries..

2009-10-18T23:27:00.002+08:00

I just realized something: yeah, my last so-many posts in this blog are so depressing.
Even almost all posts in my other blog.
It does amazes me that it takes quite a while and quite a few people to nudge me for me to realize that my blog depresses people.

I need to make clarification: NO, my life is not bad. It's everything I want it to be at this point of time.
It just that every time something good and fun and exciting happens, I don't have time to write them in my blog. But when something annoying happens, all I want to do is rant it away.

And other reason why I don't want to tell all the good stuffs I'm enjoying, is because I don't want to come across as a brag.

And surely I don't want to exhibit all the good and great and sweet things my boyfriend did for and to me --I don't want to make my ex-suitors jealous (knock knock Mr. Felix S).

Talking about Mr. Sun, here is my reply for your comment:
-Isn't the right grammar should be 'I should've taken..'?
-I was just bothered by CERTAIN girls around me who fall into the bitchy gold-digger category. I feel pity for their boyfriends, and at the same time praying hard that I'm not subconsciously is one of them.
-You're right, I am confuse. Sorry to confuse you. Any enlightenment?

That should be all for now. Any dissatisfaction.. call my lawyer.

M + E ?

2009-10-17T22:29:00.002+08:00

I stumbled (not really, I DO check his blog every once in a while) on my friend's blog and saw about a test he took to see his personality. I found it interesting, so I took it too. Here's the results..
Happy reading, folks! XD

Independent Thinkers are analytical and witty persons. They are normally self-confident and do not let themselves get worked up by conflicts and criticism. They are very much aware of their own strengths and have no doubts about their abilities. People of this personality type are often very successful in their career as they have both competence and purposefulness. Independent Thinkers are excellent strategists; logic, systematic and theoretical considerations are their world. They are eager for knowledge and always endeavour to expand and perfect their knowledge in any area which is interesting for them. Abstract thinking comes naturally to them; scientists and computer specialists are often of this type.

Independent Thinkers are specialists in their area. The development of their ideas and visions is important to them; they love being as flexible as possible and, ideally, of being able to work alone because they often find it a strain having to make their complex trains of thought understandable to other people. Independent Thinkers cannot stand routine. Once they consider an idea to be good it is difficult to make them give it up; they pursue the implementation of that idea obstinately and persistently, also in the face of external opposition.
Independent Thinkers are not the type who easily comes out of his shell. Speaking about their emotional life is also not one of their strong points. Anyway, social relationships are not particularly important to them; they are happy with just a few, close friends who find it easy to share their intellectual world. They find it difficult to establish new ties. In love, they need a lot of space and independence but this does not mean that their partner is not important to them. Independent Thinkers often make a cool and reserved impression on others; but this impression is deceptive: they can hardly bear it if people close to them should reject them. They prefer a harmonious, balanced relationship with a partner who shares their interests and with whom they can realise their visions.

Adjectives which describe your type: introverted, theoretical, logical, planning, rational, independent, intellectual, self-confident, analytical, structured, dogged, witty, resolute, self-critical, visionary, inventive, independent, unsociable, reserved, nonconformist, quiet, visionary, honest, demanding, hardworking

Career:
As an Independent Thinker, you are one of the introverted personality types. That is one of the reasons you prefer to work alone. This does not mean that you cannot be successful in a team, as well. For you, the task is most important and people who are involved come second. The contact with others, the necessity to adjust yourself to their daily changing sensitivities - all of it is just more gratuitous emotion that keep you from totally devoting yourself to those things that truly interest you: analyzing systems and policies, researching potentials for change, developing new ideas and implementing them in reality.

Here you differ from the second introverted Thinker type, the Analytical Thinker: You truly enjoy implementing your concepts and you enjoy the results. Therefore you should look for a work environment where you can accompany and expedite your ideas through to their conclusion. You consider difficult situations as challenges that really try your creativity and you frequently surprise people around you with genuinely incredibly bright ideas, rendering others speechless with their excellence. Your world consists of statistics, legitimacy, and systematics.

Considering all of this, your Thinker type is very praxis-oriented, and by no means lives on an intellectual ivory tower. You are not interested in theories not related to reality. As in chess, you are excellent at predicting the consequences of your methods in advance, and then choosing the appropriate alternative. Once you have made your decision on how to deal with a situation, you are totally willing to use your elbows and you don’t necessarily show any consideration for others. With that, you occasionally encounter resistance from other, less task-oriented colleagues that you quickly brush aside.

You resent routine jobs or monotonic order of events. You believe that they smother your creativity. If necessary, your determination and unusual ambition will convince you to acquiesce to the inevitable. Nevertheless, when choosing your profession, you should be mindful that your working environment is going to provide you with something new to learn and that your tasks are as varied as possible. Your strength lies in solving novel problems and not working on details. Nor should your curiosity ever be satisfied; just as fresh information is as important to you as the air you breathe, so is the feeling that you continuously expand and increase your competencies. An activity where you do the same thing in the same department with the same colleagues for 20 years is the worst fate that can possibly happen to a hungry mind.

L-O-V-E
For your partner, you are truly a hard nut to crack, and one has to give someone who goes through life as independent as you darn good reasons for a relationship before he/she deigns to at least consider it. You very slowly and judiciously develop trust and closeness to other people; whoever wants to win you needs a tremendous amount of patience and staying power.

Even once you begin to warm up to someone, one does not sense that for the longest time as you are uncomfortable and reluctant to display your feelings because you are not used to it. The cool, distanced, and somewhat arrogant vibes of all Thinkers are a little more pronounced with you and already sufficiently discourage many potential partners as they get frustrated and give up during the advanced phases of flirting - a shame because inside, you are not as indifferent and emotionless as you some- times appear, and sometimes your reserve simply hides your disappointment at the blindness and superficiality of the people around you.

Nevertheless, it is always a good idea for you to choose a partner very carefully and not blindly jump into an affair, because your demands are very high. You have a clear image of the “perfect relationship” and are not willing to deviate from that by even one millimeter to the right or the left. A sharp intellect that is equal to yours is the most important quality your partner must bring along. You need somebody in your life who inspires, stimulates, and always challenges you and with whom you can maintain an intensive intellectual companionship. Nothing will impress you more than competence, knowledge, and the willingness to learn because those are the traits that are truly important to you in your life. You are never really satisfied with your accomplishments, and always discover something about yourself that needs your improvement, where something new can be learned, and where you are not yet good enough.

2009-09-29T16:36:00.004+08:00

Welcome to the greatest show
Greatest show on earth
You've never seen before
Here the fairytale unfolds

Some time ago, I read a ‘readers’ page’ in a magazine, in which a counselor will answer readers’ life questions. In that particular section that I read was a letter from someone asking a solution for a problem he’s facing at work. Well, it’s not important what was being asked, but the answer was the one that intrigued me. The counselor said, ‘Go in front of the mirror, and repeat to yourself 20 times: Life isn’t fair, life isn’t fair.’
It’s true, isn’t it? There are so many things in this life that we can’t change no matter how unfair they are.

The super rich people who have more money than they could possibly spend, and some don’t even have to work for it. Girls with bad attitude that find themselves meek husbands. The smarties that get straight As just by reading the lecture notes once, while the others have to study day and night for the whole term only just so they can pass.

The combination of the first and second case is the one that get my attention (and the purpose of this blog being written): the gold-diggers. They somehow are able to find, attract, and hook those kind of guys. Not only the boyfriends are willing to pay, but they are also gladly being abused too, both physically and mentally. It’s not that I’m materialistic (or I am, if you’d like to see it that way or call it so, whatever). But it is somewhat painful to see total bitches from hell get all the stuffs they want, paid by their not-so-gullible boyfriends. Whereas I’ve know quite a few girls who are so gentle, so nice, such perfect girlfriends, but they’re never being spoilt by their boyfriends. Some never even got any present from their boyfriend. How ridiculous is that?

I had a little talk with my best friend the other day, and we agreed that these days, guys are stingier than girls and they are more selfish than ever. They whine when they have to pay for the date, dinner or movie tickets, yet they buy “beauty items” to groom themselves. Difficult to say, though; who’s to say that it’s the boyfriend that has to take care of the girl materially? What’s the purpose of women emancipation at the workplace, then?

P.S: Here is the example of what I'm talking about ;)

And here is the funny version of it.

One of the best things in my life has just over..

2009-09-29T01:33:00.003+08:00

..ironically, i trade the chance to continue to have it with one thing that doesn't even want me to be a part of it.

What's behind the smoke and glass?
Painted faces, everybody wears a mask..
--'Welcome' by C.A

Misc wisdom I picked along the way

2009-08-19T12:57:00.005+08:00

'Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.'
A sharp tongue can cut your own throat.
If you want your dreams to come true, you mustn't oversleep.
Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important.
The best vitamin for making friends is B1.
The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.
The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge.
One thing you can give and still keep...is your word.
You lie the loudest when you lie to yourself..
If you lack the courage to start, you have already finished.
One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.
Ideas won't work unless ' You' do.
Your mind is like a parachute...it functions only when open.
The 10 commandments are not a multiple choice.
The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime!
It is never too late to become what you might have been.
Life is too short to wake up with regrets.. So love the people who treat you right.. Forget about the ones who don't.
Everything happens for a reason.
If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it.
Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.
Friends are like balloons; once you let them go, you might not get them back.
Sometimes we get so busy with our own lives and problems that we may not even notice that we've let them fly away.
Sometimes we are so caught up in who's right and who's wrong that we forget what's right and wrong.
Sometimes we just don't realize what real friendship means until it is too late. I don't want to let that happen so I'm going to tie you to my heart so I never lose you.

2009-08-09T02:17:00.003+08:00

Many notable things happened for the past few weeks: new activities, old friends, intermezzo here and there. But the most "memorable" of all is a ball in my campus --University of Newcastle Ball. What's special about the ball (beside the fact that it's full of important people both from my campus and my university)?
It's a masquerade. Whole my life, I'm dying to go to one.No joke about it, eversince I watched the Man in the Iron Mask, I've been dreaming to go to a masquerade. But it wouldn't be a dream if it comes true so readily. After trial and tribulations, it was after all, a bad dream..
Perhaps, it will only be wise if I don't go into details. The point is, it was a huge disappointment that the ball didn't go was I wish it to be. In my perfect scenario, I would went to the ball with my sufficiently-formal dress, adorned with a mask (it's a masquerade!), holding hands with my boyfriend, chatted up with my friends happily, took many picture, met and got to know many lecturers and seniors, danced the night away with my boyfriend, then close it with a slow dance and a kiss. Let's just say none of those really happened.
What went wrong? Dare I blame it on my boyfriend? Or was it just my fault that he looked so miserable beside me? Makes me wonder, if I was so ugly that night (or ever so) that he didn't want to hold my hand when we entered the ballroom? Was I so ungraceful that he didn't want to dance with me? Did I shame him somehow that he couldn't bear to wait till the slow song before going back?
He even refused to wear his mask even just for a minute --what's a masquerade without a mask? Yes, he was wearing specs, but is a minute too much to ask?
He didn't even say 'you look pretty tonight' matra. Only when a mentor of ours ask did he said it.
Never mind, it is all over anyway. Just another dream crushed, more lessons learned (and few secrets revealed, it seems to me). When will there be another masquerade in town?

Ghost from the past

2009-06-27T21:40:00.004+08:00

Has it ever happened to you before?
Your past caught up after you no matter how fast you try to run. It's what's happening to me now. Certain part of my past is like the undead zombis: I ran from it, hid from it, tried to kill it, tried to buried it, but it keeps running after me. And now it's grabbing me right on the shoulder. I'm trying to shake it off.. Oh, God, please make it let me go..

It found me in Facebook (sometimes I love that site, sometimes I hate it..), in the form of friend request. Yeah, it's a "FRIEND request" by my archenemy. I haven't accepted it. I will, but later. I don't understand myself why it bothers me, makes me tremble, freaks me out:
1. I haven't met/spoken to her for years.
2. Even if we're friends in FB, it doesn't mean anything (she can't possibly hurt me again through FB. Or can she?).
3. It's just FB friend request, for God's sake!

It just simply freaks me out *I couldn't breathe*. I don't think I hate her, I don't even consider myself disliking her. I just don't want her around me, I just don't want to hear anything about her anymore. She has taken so much from my life, things I love, persons I love, everything. It's like a trauma now. Feels like a simple 'accept' click would open the gate for her to come into my life again, and history will be repeated all over again.
Just a fleeting thought of her sends shivers down my spine. Just like zombie. Such a lovely zombie..

Rainbow..

2009-06-26T11:58:00.003+08:00

"I don't see much rainbow anymore these days.
I wonder why..
It's been raining, but there's no rainbow.
Has the much polluted air concealed the rainbow?
Or has it ceased becoming in this too many skyscrapers city?
Or is it just me that caught up in my busyness too much that I don't have time to look up at the sky and find the rainbow?"

Wish list for this year :D

2009-06-04T16:26:00.001+08:00

1. Elizabeth Arden - Provocative Interlude
(I broke mine TT.TT. Have been looking around, but it seems that they don't have it in Singapore. Would have to buy it online..)

2. Chrysanthemum flower
(Hope someone will give it to me on my b'day :p)

3. Random earrings
(lost my favorite ones, somehow *>_<* smells like conspiracy..) 4. Gothic tarot card >>>
(saw a friend learning this, reminded me that I've always wanted a pack of my own)

5. Blackberry handphone
(eh, not really going to buy it *lol* but a girl can wish!)

cerita cin(T)a --a story of Love

2009-06-03T23:04:00.004+08:00

Well, it's a coincidence (if you believe the randomness of the universe) or a miracle (if you believe that everything is planned by The One Above).
I received an email from PPI (Association of Indonesian Students in Singapore) about a movie that touches a controversial issue (at least in Indonesia).

I just thought that I should share it with people. I haven't watched it, but here is the trailer for the movie:

It's lovely how the story questions not only about love, but also about God --God's love for us, and our love for God. Check out the official site:

.:: God is a director.com ::.

"This is a story of a love triangle between
Cina (the boy), Annisa (the girl),
and Tuhan (God).

Cina and Annisa love God
and God loves them both
But Cina and Annisa cannot love each other
because they call God by different names."

2009-05-30T20:58:00.005+08:00

"Women bring men home --I have no such feelings."
-AtG.

"You know you are in love when you can't sleep --because reality is finally better than dreams."
-random anonymous quote.
(Really? How, then, do we explain sleep deprivation because of anger/phobia?)

"Don't get me wrong, I love you --but I love my freedom more."
-Vk.

2009-05-24T23:40:00.002+08:00

If you want best of both worlds, you have to work double the effort.
-vk.

I've come a long way..

2009-05-23T10:41:00.002+08:00

Sountrack of the day: 'Fighter' by Christina Aguilera

So the news is out: the new President of MAPIA (Indonesian Association in my campus) is a female. Guess which female it is ;)
The news, naturally, gives me mix feelings: the biggest one is definitely pride.
After who I am in my family's eyes, life tells me that it's not who I truly am; after all the nasty things I'm told that I am, life tells me that it's so not true.
I've just discussed about it with my best friend the other day. In my family, my opinion will be the last to be asked. Among my friends, it's the opposite. In my family, it never happened before that I'm allowed to take any decision. Well, that's definitely not the case when I'm outside. In my family, I'm just unlovable indecisive selfish little girl. Among my friends...well, you can ask them whether it's true.
What I'm trying to say is, don't let your family -or anyone else in this matter- define you. Whole your life, people will try to tell you that you are this and you are that (both in positive understanding and negative). If it's a compliment, thank them, keep humble and stay being yourself. If it's an insult, thank them, keep humble, stay being your best self, and prove them wrong!
Another thing that I'm trying to say is, people say that it's family who will always stand by you no matter what --I say, think again. Most of the time, it's our family who'll try to put us down.

Anyway, the second biggest feeling, however, anxiety plus nervousness.
Am I the right person for the position? Can I sustain the good name of MAPIA? Can I meet -or better, surpass- people expectations of me? Well, if I think about it narrow-minded-ly, I'm terrified. But I shouldn't worry, I'm surrounded by great people, great friends, great teammates. What I can't do, what I'm lacking, I know will be fill up by their strengths. Together, we'll create a great team, for a better name of MAPIA!

2009-05-22T10:37:00.002+08:00

"You are who you choose to be. Now, choose." -Green Goblin

Things you might not want to know about me...

2009-05-19T00:25:00.000+08:00

...but you need to.

1. I'm mixed of Chinese-Javanese. But only a quarter of Javanese, from my grandma from my father's side.
2. Whether you believe in things like zodiac or not, I'm a Sagittarius, and I feel that the traits of the sign represents my personality so much. So, if you want to know what I'm like, you can just read about Sagittarius ^^
3. I love everything I love for a reason (or reasons). I don't love something blindly.
4. It takes a lot to make me hate someone. But when I do, I'll take forever for me to forgive him/her. And believe me, 'forever' is a long time.
5. I like perfume. One that I use for me is Elizabeth Arden's Provocative Interlude.
6. My favorite flower is chrysanthemum, NOT rose.
(In case you're wondering, because chrysanthemum smells nice even when it dies. Rose smells like corpse when it's withered)
7. My favorite precious gem is Amethyst. I love the color range it has, magnificent!
8. I collect seashells, earrings, and flags (yup, countries flag. Anyone want to send me his/her country's flag?).
9. I've always loved vampires. Not just because of some stupid novel series *coughtwilightcough*. Vampires are sexier than werewolves!
10. I love butterflies. They are pretty, and they represent change. Beautiful change.
11. When I was younger, I wish I was a spider. Cos I thought 8 hands would come, erm, handy.
12. I love purple (indigo, actually) cos it's the royalty color. Believe me (if you don't, you'd have to listen to me telling it, and I'm not sure you want that), it has a long history behind the color purple.
13. I have an archenemy. Still don't really like her, but I guess as we grow up, we learn to forgive people...
14. I'm NOT mysterious. I'm an open book, it's just up to you whether you want to read me.
15. I LOVE Westlife. Sue me if you don't like it.
Westlife is the one who introduced and taught me English.
16. I adore, respect, inspired by Alexander the Great. He's such a interestingly complex character.
17. When I'm upset or have a lot in my mind, there are only two things that can distract me: reading or writing.
~Books are my drugs. I'm addicted to them, and they take me places..
~I don't talk about my feelings, I write them...
18. I've just realize something: for presents, I don't like soft toys or flowers.. I prefer cards! Especially one that's handmade, hehe..
19. In my spare time, or in my depressing time, to entertain myself I like to watch movies and crocheting.

**more to come

2009-05-14T17:15:00.004+08:00

Yesterday, I was helping around the library. There's this one notebook left by the owner. It looked interesting, so I playfully opened it. Well, on the covers of the book, there's this "wise" sayings. Thought I'd share them with you...

"In our country, we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them."

"Some people are wise --some otherwise."

"A wise old owl sat on an oak,
the more he sat the less he spoke,
the less he spoke, the more he heard,
why aren't we like that wise old bird?"

P.S.: It's NOT a diary, it's just a book the owner scribble in (I didn't even understand what's inside :p)

Sometimes, just sometimes..

2009-05-12T22:23:00.006+08:00

Sometimes I love him, sometimes I hate him so much.
Sometimes, I believe this one could be different.
Sometimes, I don't even dare to hope.
Sometimes, things seem bright, the future seems bright.
Sometimes, there's nothing there.
Sometimes, I'm just tired, wish I could end it all.
Sometimes.. Just sometimes.

And sometimes, life doesn't go on.
Believe me, I know.
You live, you breath, you move. (But) Just like a zombie. You feel nothing, the heart is cold --or no heart at all.

To I_Boy..
I know exactly how it feels.. It's sad, isn't it?
They only like you when you're the happy cheerful person.
Once they take a slight peek of our sadness, they run like their lives depend on it.. Even those who claim they care, they simply have no time to care.

"If only thirst could quench sorrow, Ptolemy.." -Alexander

2009-05-12T00:36:00.002+08:00

"It was raining, but there was no rainbow.."
-And1

2009-05-08T20:24:00.002+08:00

Who am I? That the Lord of all the earth, would care to know my name, would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I? That the bright and morning star, would choose to light the way, for my ever wandering heart.
Bridge: Not because of who I am, but because of what you've done. Not because of what I've done, but because of who you are.
Chorus: I am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow. A wave tossed in the ocean, a vapor in the wind. Still you hear me when I'm calling. Lord, you catch me when I'm falling, and you've told me who I am.
I am yours. I am yours.
Who am I? That the eyes that see my sin would look on me with love and watch me rise again.
Who am I? That the voice that calmed the sea, would call out through the rain, and calm the storm in me.
Whom shall I fear? Whom shall I fear? I am yours.. I am yours..

~Audi alteram partem~

Love what you do

What's your life philosophy?

Garfield

Elegance

The beginning of creation is always destruction.

Censorship

Another day at work

Mac is a bimbo

A day at work

A walk on the beach

Creative tents

Learning to count with the Koreans

Sometimes..

Cigs are like hamsters

Laugh and cry with the same amount

iSick

Trolling

The things I learn from my hamsters

Now I know..

Bumblebee?

Do you want a code with that post?

Define 'large'

Love Guru

Black Swan

730th day

My favorite love songs of all time

An inception of an idea

Hot and cold

I've learnt..

The funny things in life

It's expensive to be a woman..

Mrs. vs Mistress

"Where is your God?"

I'll be good for the rest of the year, cos I've got my Christmas gift.I'll study hard for Econs n BuStrat, cos I've got my prize :D

My horoscope

Hitchhiker’s Guide to Venus

Deuteronomy 5:11

Totally random..

iFever

Do you want conspiracy with that theory?

One hundred million things

Those 5Cs..

Money, money, money..

Happy Easter Day!

The joy of a child

Tying the knot is suffocating

John 4

MadLOVE

A call to arms..

The most bizarre (and yuck) animals ever

Battle of the sexes

Part poem, part narcissism

Free/Masonry (pun intended)

How?

I've learnt..

This blog has changed..

'The War' is here..

Best birthday ever!

Aaaaargh..

Just a quick drop by..

Pak SBY

Fine, fine.. no worries..

M + E ?

One of the best things in my life has just over..

Misc wisdom I picked along the way

Ghost from the past

Rainbow..

Wish list for this year :D

cerita cin(T)a --a story of Love

I've come a long way..

Things you might not want to know about me...

Sometimes, just sometimes..

I'll be good for the rest of the year, cos I've got my Christmas gift.
I'll study hard for Econs n BuStrat, cos I've got my prize :D