~Audi alteram partem~

You know your part of the story. Now hear the other side.
Cos everyone just want to be heard
.

Mrs. vs Mistress

I had a dream last night. I think I read Atlas Shrugged too much; too obsessed. The dream was very much like the lame Korean TV series (sorry for those who's insulted), but nevertheless affected my mood in the morning. Esp. when I'm not a morning person and I'm pretty much bored in this glorious Saturday.

Anyway, the gist of the dream was, my bf in the real world -Z- was actually married and I'm just his mistress. In the dream, I had an illness and was dying (told ya it's like Korean TV dramas!). Ironically, Z's wife was my friend but she didn't know about our affair and she's the one who came to my house to take me to hospital. When I was in her car, Z was there, with their children too. But Z refused to talk to me, or even acted like he knew me at all.

It feels so sad. You know how the feelings are real even though it's just a dream. And it got me thinking, I used to think that it's better to be mistress (no arguments yet, please):
Wife: Clean up the house, take care of the kids, cook, wash, iron, deal with the in-laws, live at the mercy of monthly allowance from the husband, no time to dress up and exercise > accused of being ugly slob.. *the list goes on*
Mistress: Need only to attend to the guy once in a while, have time for career and exercise and shop, get expensive stuffs and gifts from the guy, no need to attend to the in-laws.

Well, you get the idea. But of course, I know better now. The above statements work only when you don't love the guy. When you do love the guy, it's miserable to be the second lady -or nobody at all, depends on the mercy of the guy. Imagine the feeling of being abandoned when you need him and how he won't recognize you in public. Imagine the torment (esp. when you're dying like in my dream)!

So remember the next time you're in a cross-road of choices: don't ever want to be the number 2 and don't ever get involved with an attached guy. I can give you a long cliché reasons and arguments, but here's a short one: if you believe you deserve nothing less than the best things, don't.

Additions: Seems like this blog has aroused lots of strong opinions. I guess I have to straighten few things out. So don't complain if this most has become longer, you better read it all, you asked for it.
First of all, the reason why I mentioned Atlas Shrugged is cos there's a sideways story of the main character where she's become a so-called mistress. That particular story affected me so much that I kept thinking about it. And that's probably why I dreamt what I dreamt, cos when I read/watch something, I tend to think too much about it. When I think too much about it, I tend to dream about it.

Secondly, I said 'lame Korean dramas' just for the story line. I didn't compare or mix the two (Atlas Shrugged and Korean dramas) together; there's no way for me to do so. The story line of my dream is lame, but there's nothing lame about the feelings. Imagine you're at the edge of life and the person you love the most was there, but refuse to acknowledge you. It's not lame, it's heartbreaking.

Thirdly, let's not take life literally, shall we. 'Wife' or 'mistress' are just labels. Failure of human language; my bad. What I meant earlier was, being the mistress is being the number 2 (or beyond) in a guy's life. You could be married to him legally, have a ring with his name on it on your ring finger, but if he couldn't care less if you leave him anytime, then you're not more important than his job or his maid, therefore, you're just a mistress by definition.
Or on the other side, you both could be just 17 y.o., but he shares everything with you, from his dreams to his phobia, from his strengths to his weaknesses. Then you're already his "wife". Get it? Oh well, "if you don't understand, I can't explain it."

3 comments:

don't ever mixed up Atlas Shrugged with Korean drama.. i am insulted.

 

Wife: Clean up the house, take care of the kids, cook, wash, iron, deal with the in-laws, live at the mercy of monthly allowance from the husband, no time to dress up and exercise > accused of being ugly slob.. *the list goes on*

Mistress: Need only to attend to the guy once in a while, have time for career and exercise and shop, get expensive stuffs and gifts from the guy, no need to attend to the in-laws.

Depends on the guy. If you're as lucky as my mom, she only meets my dad once a week (he's working outside the city), have time for her hobby, exercise everyday, shop, get expensive stuffs (I think it's expensive), tho yes, she's dealing with the in-laws. Those stereotypes about wife, are applied for maids.

"There's a great woman behind a successful man."

It's not about your choice to be a mistress or a wife, it's about how you become "great". :D

 

mr.sun:
I rest my case.

kidthelearner:
you said it yourself: not everyone is as lucky as your mom. indeed, there's a great woman behind every successful man [I want you to remember that when you're successful]. the irony is when the great woman is ditched for a slut as soon as the man becomes successful.

 

Post a Comment