~Audi alteram partem~

You know your part of the story. Now hear the other side.
Cos everyone just want to be heard
.

Hitchhiker’s Guide to Venus

Reading the Guide for Safe Dating for Men, I feel like I have to write something to set few things straight. After all, not all females are air stewardess, florist, or sex therapist. But anyway, this post isn’t that related to that one. So, how many times have you heard guys said that it’s so difficult to please a girl, that girls are so complicated? That’s what I’ve been hearing and buzzing louder in my ears louder lately.

For simplicity's sake, I’ll use 'us' as the representative of girls/females and 'you' as the representative of males. Disclaimer: I’m not an expert, nothing like that goddammed deAngelo, so what I write here by no means ever went through any research. It’s all just based on my observation and my experiences as one of those complicated creatures call the females.
We’re not simple, but we’re not that difficult as well. There's only one rule to keep a girl yours forever: make her the center of your world. Or at least make her think so. Now, the question of ‘how’ that's have different answers for different girl. Hence, that’s why you often hear that girls are difficult to please or to understand. Well, it’s because there's no one-size-fits all tricks to keep us happy. And let me tell you the annoying truth: we don’t know what we want either, most of the time. That’s why no need to ask us what do we want, cos that won’t work.
“A lady never knows what she might need.” Lady Ashley of Australia
But don’t be disheartened just yet. Just by always remembering the fact that we, girls, love that you worship us, you can avoid unnecessary broken plates and broken hearts. Here are a few samples of scenarios that might happen:

If she asks you to read a book, for Ares’ sake, just read it. If you’re not a reader and are too lazy to read, just read the summary somewhere in the internet or ask someone who has read it. Anything. Just make sure that you know what the book is about and know what to say when she talks about the book. If she buys you a book, READ IT. Even though you read one line a day, READ IT. You know what they say, no matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop. And you also know what they say, “Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.” (Joan Crawford).

Now, we know girls like to talk. But when your girl says ‘I want to tell you something’, perk your ears. Drop everything you’re holding, look at her. Your life might depend on it.
Another way to show us that you care is by being jealous. That’s right, be jealous of your girl. Some independent girl might tell you that she likes it that you never jealous of her. That it's cool that you trust her so much. Bla bla bla. Let me tell you. If you want to keep her, you better be jealous of her, at least once every full moon. Even werewolves need to be unleashed every once in a while to stay healthy. It’s like jealousy in a relationship. When you never question when she goes out with her bunch of friends, she’d conclude you don’t care. When you don’t question when she goes out with her best male friend.. uh oh..

Oh, there’s another thing I need to clear up. Men like to accuse us of being cruel by making them jealous. It’s not that we deliberately want to hurt you, we just want to see you care. Or simply take revenge cos you’ve been cruel to us by not being jealous.

“The problem with most men is they're assholes. The problem with most women is they put up with those assholes.” - Cher

3 comments:

Cr@p!!! I missed this post!! so sorry! so really, really sorry!

I'm unable to reply right now as i'm drunk. I'll talk to you when i see you.

"Eeevvaaaa~"- Wall-E

Havaniceday!

a Life's Backpacker

 

don't worry, i've long stopped putting my hope in a man. let alone waiting for his response.

have a nice hangover.

 

Aye~ the hangover is over.

Why I’m not surprised to hear that ‘you’ like to be worshipped? We all do.

And if you are being worshipped, of course you want ‘us’ to read the book that you recommend to us. Then res assured the list goes on from paying the bills, change the diapers, walk the dog, lick the cat, hump the toilet bowl..

Oh, how were my 2 books there? you barely touch the cover don’t you? My best hope for the moment is for you to remember what your response was when I beat the hell out of the crowd just to get you your 'Atlas Shrugged' that have been sitting on your wishlist? Or when I flown the Japanese literatures 560miles to your backyard? If you have read them a line a day, I think you are close to finish them.

I’ve stopped asking what the lady wants as well. None of us know what we (really) need. Oh well, who’s John Galt?

If it is jealousy that ‘you’ want, then I must pity all boyfriends in this world. Only that, I pity your male best friend the most. He must be drowned in ruefulness for being ghastly used by you just for the sake of stimulating some unnecessary jealousy.

..and that is one of the reason why sometime (not just sometime) someone couldn’t allow himself to be happy, and he ended up crawling from one hangover to the next.


Adieu,

A Life’s Backpacker

 

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