~Audi alteram partem~

You know your part of the story. Now hear the other side.
Cos everyone just want to be heard
.

First of all, happy birthday to my godbrother. Another year, eh, bro? :D
Wish all years in you life would be beautiful -just as you've made my life beautiful :) And please, stay being your strong self I've always known. I know we can't always be around each other as much as we want to, but I hope we'll stay like how we used to -err close-but-not-so-close? *lol*

Next, just want to write down my shoutout in my friendster :p
"Tell me, when you're looking down upon me, are you proud of who I am?"

O2Camp the 2nd day...

My team ready to fight the other team :D
Spot me?
Felix and Inez, before we leave for Sentosa (O2 Camp 26-27 Sept)
Oh, aren't they just cute?! *lol*

About today

1. Hari ini lebih baik dari kemaren?
gak, khusus hari ini, kmaren jauh lbh baik :(
2. Terakhir pergi mana?
ke kamar mandi, huaha..
3. Pergi terakhir dgn sapa?
with someone special :D :D
4. Ngapain aja?
hari ini? ritual pagi hari, kuliah, plg tdr, main internet d.
5. Yang kamu pelajari akhir-akhir ini?
wah, banyak banget. pljrn hidup gak abis2 nih..
6. Kamu setia?
dlm persahabatan, ya. dlm hal lain, gak janji d, huehe..
7. Tapi kamu ada pacar?
enggak. berminat? ngambil formulirnya di kls ku, bsk yah. haha..
8. Sayang ga?
ih, gak nyambung d.
9. Hari ini senang-senang?
gak, sedih! kmaren senang2nya, hehe..
10. Minuman terakhir yang masuk perut?
coffee, hehe..
11. Apa kamu cemburuan?
bisa diblg begitu.
12. Hal terakhir yang dilihat?
layar laptop.
13. Hal terakhir yang kamu tahan2?
duit kluar dr dompet (ktawan d, pelitnya)
14. Lagi deket sama?
*is confidential*
15. Cita -cita terakhir jadi?
jurnalis :)
16. Hal membingungkan yang terakhir dilakukan?
ngomong ama temen *swt, cape d*
17. Testi terakhir dari?
lolcatz :D
18. Curhat terakhir dengan?
buku diary :)
19. Hal terakhir yang masih kamu inget?
banyak dong.. aq gak menderita short-term memory loh..
20. Jatuh cinta terakhir sama?
awh! Jared Leto. haha..gakla, rhs d.
21. Ada berapa orang yang ada di otak kamu sekarang? siapa?
4. tmn2 kuliah..
22. Terakhir sebel sama?
maaf, nama disamarkan utk melindungi yg berdosa. hehe
23. Film terakhir yang ditonton?
Mirrors. lumayan loh, filmnya
24. Berita terakhir yang didengar?
eh, keboongan ssorg terbongkar, abis2an
25. Kalau temen kamu ngambil gebetan kamu?
awas 22nya! haha..gakla. bodo amat, I have better things to do.
26. Tugas terakhir yang dikerjain?
akun. duh, mati dah test minggu dpn. aq plg gak bisa akun. ssorg tlglah diriku!
27. Sebutin 1 nama "teman" yang kamu sayang?
teman dgn tanda kutip? please, klo aq sebutin, nyawa ssorg jd terancam.
28. Rencana hari ini mau ngapain aja?
uda malem om, plg baca2 ssuatu dikit trus bo2.
29. SMS terakhir dari?
Richery, huaha...
30. Feeling lu?
cape, cape, cape ati.
31. Lagu kesukaan lu sekarang ini?
awh, butterfly cry by kerli koiv
32.lagi pake baju apa?
bj tidur warna kuning.
33. mau balikan sm mantan?
enggak, makasih. gak dnger? when it's gone, it's gone, honey.
34. binatang kesukaan?
uler. ups!
35. terakhir meluk siapa?
pa2h
36. orang yg lagi lu kangenin?
hm.. tmn2 high school. hiks, miss u so much, guys!
37. lagu terakhir yang lu nyanyikan?
sama, butterfly cry by kerli koiv :D
38. kalau ada yg nembak lu?
kaget "huh?"
39. paling malem tidur jam berapa?
wah, pernah 36 jam kagak tdr.
40. besok mao bangun jam berapa?
7.40 as always
Check out my Friendster horoscope for today:
"Make sure you are realistic about today -- you must balance your optimism with caution, and not believe everything you see right away. Be a little bit more skeptical and don't shy away from questioning authority. This is not a time to take anything for granted -- while you want to think the best of people, sometimes it's just not smart. There is too much duality in the air, and too many people who are just saying what they think you want to hear."

It's eerily correct. I have just thought about how everyone deserves a second chance. I've always believed that everyone can change (we obviously know that people DO change). But that thought only cause me to question my own intelligence. And perhaps also cause some people to question my loyalty.

Now, that's one of the things I learn from Alexander (the Great, honey). When we decide to trust someone, trust him/her completely. Let it be difficult for you to doubt someone you've trusted. Which is why it's difficult for me to trust anyone, but once I trust him/her, it'd take so much to quiver the trust. But how disappointing (I foolishly hope too much) that not many people share the same sentiment. They easily doubt their own close friends. They, who think too much. They, who always think of or make up some twisted imagination in their heads.
When it's gone, it's gone. Let it go :)
Wanted to go, but don't know why, I changed my mind on the last minute :)

"Laugh is the sweetest gift we can give --definitely also for ourselves."

Show me that you can change, and I'll show you I can change my mind, too...
"The SC is not only where my image is at stake, but my self-esteem as well.."
...
"Why do God let me have this feeling when it'll only ruin me? He know, you know, we all know, that I can't afford to get distracted. Not right now, not in the next 14 years."

DRAFT!

Soundtrack of the day: Butterfly Cry by Kerli
"Affair of the heart is the undoing of a hero.."

When I'm not, you are.
When I do, you don't.
You're here, but you're so far away.
Within range but unreachable.
I try to deny, but how is it supposed to work?
Even though I don't ever say it, I still feel it.

This feeling is like a butterfly.
So fragile yet so strong.
The urge is so strong I'm suffocated.
Yet it's so fragile I know it'll die soon.
It'll die before we're able to comprehend.
Even before we realize it ever existed.
How good will its life be if it doesn't have to feel guilty
when it does the things that brings
happiness for it.

How should anyone understand?
The sadness of the butterfly.
Cos its existence just another one
In this universe.
Alone.
Ordinary.
In vain.

I hate you not because of who you are..
But because you proud that you are.

Fragile - Kerli

You think you know me. And everything that you consider me. You think you know my name. You think you know me. And everything you get a chance to see. You think you know my face.
You think you know my face.
You think you see me. And everything that you consider me. You think I’m more than you. You think you see me. You like the way I’m strong and stand by you. But I am fragile too. I am fragile too.
Yeah, I will be fine. As the time goes by. It may hurt at nights.
But I will be fine. Yeah, I will be just fine.
They think they know me. And everything that they consider me.
They think I never cry. They are thinking
While they’re making up their twisted lies. She won't mind,
she's nice
.
She is cold as ice.

You think you see me. And everything that you consider me.
You think I’m more than you. You think you see me.
You like the way I’m strong and stand by you.
But I am fragile too.I am fragile too.
Just like you.
Disappointment.
I thought I knew him close enough by now. But just like human, there's always a side of him that's come to my surprise --and taken me off guard.
And guess what, I got to know his friend: Fed Up.

But, ah, a letter come to me today. From an Echelon. And it just cheered me up because of its kind words. It's funny cos the one who always made my day is Echelon. While all the others are just non-believer who would care --or rather, don't have time to care about me. And the even funnier thing, those "others" are the ones who laugh at Echelon most of the time. What the...?
It doesn't matter, though. It has been said: not everybody will understand it, and that's okay. It's just for the people that do.

Long live Echelon! Provehito in Altum!

One day...

Love always come hand in hand with sorrow --no, not only hand in hand, they're Siamese twin: you can't separate them. Even through operation, it'll be dangerous.
Is it worth it to let both come into our dwellings? Will there be enough space for both?
It's no longer pieces now, it's already dust...
-:-
Stand up not just for what you believe in, but also for who you are..
-:-
Let's not tell.. (7Sept)
Soundtrack of the day: Fallen by 30 Seconds to Mars

*Sigh* May I emphasize the lyric?
"All the pretty people die. Innocence is out of style...
Now there nothing left for me.."

Have you ever hurt so bad it feels so good?

"...he cuts me and the pain is all I wanna feel.."
misquote from BSB Helpless When She Smiles


My godbrother once said, "PAIN is the greatest pleasure in life." I didn't agree and didn't understand then. But I do understand now (even though I'm still not entirely agree).

Sometimes, in a weird unexplainable way, I am (and I believe most of other people are) drawn to pain. And it does bring us some pleasure --or in this case, bring me.
I know pain enable human to survive. But I thought only because it sharpens our survival instinct, so we learn to avoid it. But I've learned a different case now.

Some people find comfort in pain.
Some in physical form: cutting and slashing.
Some in non-physical form: reminding themselves of hurtful things.

Yes, mine is the second case. And yeah, I know. Somebody here needs bad help from a shrink...